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In Another Life
Chapter 2
Yaz was rushing in the morning slinging last bits of toiletries into her suitcase.
"Yaz honey please be careful driving all the way there. I'm getting a bit worried" her mum walked into the room
"No worries mum...I'll take it slow" she took black cocktail dress out of the wardrobe holding it in the air "What do think? This one?"
"Yeah, I like that one. Yaz...who is this Clara anyway?"
"Just a mate mum...she's having a lecture so invited me to keep her company"
"You never mentioned her before"
"I don't mention everyone mum" she frowns closing the suitcase "I got to go mum" she kissed her cheek "I'm going to be late"
"Call me Yaz...please don't make me worry"
"I will promise" she grabbed the suitcase and zoomed out of the apartment
It was a crisp November morning, and she was thankfully her car didn't freeze overnight. Scrapping windows would surely make her late and that would be really embarrassing. She pulled over in front of Clara’s house and the door opened again just before she was about to knock.
"Morning" she smiled "Come in"
"Morning...you look cheerful for 8 am" Yaz laughed
"I don't sleep much and I'm very really tired...I hope you're hungry" she said walking towards the kitchen
"I am I didn't get any breakfast I was rushing to get here"
"Why? We have time Yaz" she turned around "We need to wait for the car anyway"
"Car?" She asked confused "I thought we are..."
"Oh no... I'm getting a substitute from insurance they are bringing it now" she zoomed around the bar that was packed with stuff
"What's all this?" Yaz looked at all the crisps and all kinds of stuff on the bar including about ten packets of custard cream
"It's a long drive" she shrugs her shoulders "Tea?"
"Yeah, that would be lovely"
Clara felt her eyes on her as she turned around it made smile, so she made a point in taking her time making a tea.
Yaz couldn't help but stare as Clara was making a tea and her back was to her. Another pair of trousers blue again but a white tight jumper this time and again braces. Those braces were driving her insane. They would make her brain glitch in a way she didn't think was humanly possible and now on top of it, Clara's jumper was so tight she could see the outline of her shoulder blades. Yaz was embarrassed of her own brain and when Clara turned around, she quickly looked down nocking some stuff from the bar as well in a process.
"Sorry..." she bends down to pick it up
"That's fine" Clara smirked holding mugs with a tea "Croissant?"
"Yes please" Yaz said putting boxes back on the bar
"Aaa...car!!!" Clara jumped off the floor making Yaz jump as well "Make yourself at home I'll be just a minute" she zoomed out of the kitchen and Yaz heard the door slamming
She could hear her talking to someone, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. She sipped a tea and looked through the kitchen window into the garden when her eyes fixed on something, and she moved a bit to get a better look
"Right...we have a car" Clara's voice made her jump again. She did that a lot to her. In fact, her hyper fizzy energy made Yaz jump all the time.
"You have a police telephone box in your garden?" Yaz points utterly confused
"Oh, that...yeah...just a garden shed" she scrunched her face "I lost a key dhow...Shall we?"
"Right" Yaz frowned confused, but she didn't ask any more questions. Clara was quirky enough in her eyes to have something like that anyway. Clara started shoving all the crisps and custard creams into bags and walked outside onto a driveway. They popped all the stuff in the back, and they were on their way.
An hour into the trip Clara was going through those custard creams as if she hasn't eaten in days, and they were chatting throughout with Clara doing most of the talking but Yaz didn't mind one little bit. Somehow, they ended up on a topic of universe and Clara new all about. Yaz found it fascinating and really enjoyed listening to her. Then Yaz started feeling tiered. The heavy drinking then full day of work followed by the late dinner and then getting up again at six in the morning properly finished her off. The ride made her sleepy and she was finding it hard to keep her eyes open
"Wanna have a nap?" Clara turned towards her for a second "You look tired...I don't mind"
"Are you sure?"
"Positive...nap away. I'll wake you up when I stop for a toilet" she smiles
"Alright...thanks"
Music from the radio and Clara's soft driving made Yaz fall asleep within minutes.
Clara turned towards her few times just for a second making sure her head wasn't falling down. She also glanced at her for another reason entirely, it was because Yaz was so beautiful she couldn't help but look. As much as she was putting up a straight face inside, she was nervous. She gripped the steering wheel tight and continued to drive for another hour until she pulled up by a pub. The sound of gravel underneath the wheels woke up Yaz and she opened her sleepy eyes.
"Hey sleepy head. Had a nice nap?" Clara smiled parking the car
"Yeah...sorry I bet that was boring for you"
"Not at all Yaz...I'm glad you had a nap we have a long day ahead"
"Where are we?" she sat up and looked around rubbing her eyes
"I sidetracked a little. We have another half hour to go but I thought we need a brake"
"You definitely do...I'm sorry I can't drive"
"It's fine Yaz I really don't mind" Yaz was still sloped in the seat, soft face and sleepy eyes gazing at Clara. She reached out and moved a strain of hair from Yaz's face giving her goosebumps "Right...shall we?"
"Yeah" she needed a moment to gather her thoughts and pick up her stomach that dropped to the floor.
They walked into the pub and headed towards one of the tables. It was buzzing with people.
"Clara" Yaz gently grabbed her arm
"Yes?"
"I just need a moment..." she pointed towards the toilet
"Oh, yeah sure go ahead. You hungry? Cause I'm hungry I really fancy something"
"Yeah, that would be nice...just order whatever...fine with me"
"Brilliant" she hopped to the table and Yaz chuckled at her strange body language. Always a bit fighting and hands gestures going along every word that left her mouth. She found it cute, and it sort of resonated with her in some really weird way
Yaz went to the toilet and washed her face. She was still trying to come around, but she was also trying to make sense out of last two days. This was so out of character for her that she baffled herself. Why is he here? Why is she on the other side of the country on a weekend with a woman she only met yesterday. Moreover, why does this seem so normal and natural. She didn't have answers to any of those questions, and she wasn't sure if she even wanted to find meaning in any of them. Maybe this is it, she thought, maybe she should go with the flow for once. And this flow seemed comfortable, almost familiar, too familiar.
But what would she even know about that, she thought to herself. She had never dated before. At least not in the traditional sense. And little or no experience she had, had to do with some fiasco in her life or making a total idiot of herself by misinterpreting someone's signals. One thing she was absolutely sure of was how attracted Clara was to her in every possible way. It was like an imaginary gravity she couldn't shake from the moment she first laid eyes on her. And that was yesterday, and it scared her to the core. She had never been one of those people who was simply smitten by someone the moment she met them. She was definitely not a person who believed in love at first sight either. And yet she felt both happening to her at the same time and she felt like throwing up on a floor from anxiety. She wiped her face and went out. Clara was at the table ordering. Yaz felt that this time she should pay for this meal because Clara had been paying for everything until now.
"Hey" Yaz smiled and sat down
"Hey yourself" she smiled back "Feeling better?"
"Much better. Did you order?
"Yes...I was thinking about today. You're welcome to sit for a lecture but it might be boring. So, you can do a bit of sightseeing till I'm finished then we can have some fun afterwards"
"Yeah, that would be nice"
The food came and neither of them two released just how hungry they were until it was in front of them.
"I needed that food" Yaz said coming out of the pub
"Me too...well only half an hour to go and we are there. Exited?"
"Definitely" she smiled getting in a car
Ten minutes into the drive a song came up on a radio "Aaaa...I love that one" Clara turned it up and she was really getting into it. Bobbing her head and catching the rhythm with her hands. She looked more comical than cool, and it made Yaz laugh and join her. Suddenly they were both singing literally screaming inside the car not caring how utterly out of tune they both were.
The song ended and they both laughed.
"I like you Yaz" Clara said looking at the road
"I like you too...I like you a lot"
Clara’s lips twitched for moment when she said that. She turned around for a second and gave her a small smile.
Soon they arrived in front of the hotel, and it left Yaz speechless. She stood in front of the car holding her suitcase staring at the old building.
The word grand Hotel would definitely describe the visual in front of her eyes.
"You alright Yaz?" Clara turned around releasing Yaz was still standing bolted to the ground
"Is this where we're staying?"
"Yeah" Clara stood in front of her in a funny hunched posture confused "Don't like it?"
"Whaaaa? Are you for real?"
"I was last time I checked"
"What? ..." Yaz looked at her confused
"Where's the problem?" Clara asked again
"It looks...expensive"
"It is expensive...but also nice...come on...get a shift on" she grabs her suitcase and rolled it to the massive lobby
Yaz was standing in the middle of the lobby whilst Clara was sorting out the reservations and she just started around. She felt completely out of place, under dressed and under everything. And also completely intimidated by the place.
"Right...we got the keys" Clara said walking up to her "I never understood why they still call them keys. It's a card...humans do surprise me sometimes"
"Oh... alright...yes keys" she still stared around looking like a deer caught in the head lights
"Yaz...relax" Clara said giving her a card to her room
"I can try" she smiled
They walked through the hallway until Clara stopped "Here we go...see we are next to each other"
"That's nice" she puts a card in a door and opens the room "OMFG...are you serious?"
"Like it?" Clara grins
"I fucking love it"
"Alright potty mouth...Well enjoy on it. I need to rush now, or my students will only have my picture to admire"
"Alright Bighead...see you later"
Clara stopped frozen "Did you just call me a Bighead?"
"Yap" Yaz giggled
"I like that" she opened her room "See ya...have a nice time"
"I definitely will...Oh and Clara"
"Yes" she peaks behind the door
"Thank you so much...this is...it's just..."
"It's ok...Don't mention it" she disappeared behind the door frame
Yaz entered a beautiful lavish room with light blue wallpaper and massive window overlooking the town. The bed was huge and high, it looked extremely comfortable. Yaz has never had a bed this size or this high. In fact, she had never slept on anything so comfortable in her life. She entered the bathroom, which was spacious with a large shower. On the sink were small bottles of shampoo and body wash that looked like expensive perfumes. She took a small bar of soap from the sink. It was wrapped in floral print paper, and she smelled it. She didn't want to open it. It was so beautifully wrapped that she wanted to keep it as a souvenir so she could smell it all the time. She was stiff from the car and was looking forward to a nice shower before she got out.
She unpacked all her stuff and walked into a shower quickly getting ready. There were only two and a half hours before meeting her for lunch, so she didn't want to waste any time. Jeans and a jumper would do for now she thought and that burgundy winter jacket she was travelling in.
It was a beautiful sunny day and didn't seem too cold outside. She walked outside through the town and took some photos. She took a silly selfie and sent it to Clara and to her surprise got an answer back straight away
"You're too cute...can't wait to see you xx"
The time passed quickly between a few shops and a walk. The town was absolutely stunning and had a sense of history around every corner. On Google Maps, she found the place where Clara had told her to meet. It was a cute little restaurant downtown. She sat down and ordered some tea. Then scrolled through the phone and the photos she took earlier that day.
"I love that one you look adorable" a voice behind her made her jump
"Hey you" Yaz smiled
"Hey yourself...had a nice time?"
"Yeah, but I'm glad you're finally here"
Clara took her coat off and sat down opposite her. "Do you like the place?" she looked around the restaurant
"What's not to like in this place"
"Good...that was the point. Should we order?"
"Yes, please I'm starving...again. I'm gonna roll out of this place"
"And you would still look cute doing it.... Alright let's see what they have" she took a menu "Nope nope, nope, ewwww definitely not....Aaaa that's nice"
"I'll have chicken with gnocchi in mushroom sauce. That sounds nice. At least I can read the menu this time" she giggles
"Sorry about that...I speak so many languages I forget"
"I bet you will say something ridiculous like 10" Yaz laughed
"Mmmm...more..." she scrunches her face
"Bighead...now you're just gloating"
"Maybe just a little...You know what, that chicken sounds nice I'll have the same"
"So how was your lecture? What was it about?"
"Sumerian culture and it's influences on a modern society"
"That's history? Didn't you say you're a physics professor?"
"That's my regular job Yaz. I have lectures and seminars about history as well from time to time. I like it"
"I give up...I must seem seriously stupid from your perspective"
"Yasmin Khan!" she jumped almost offended "Don't you ever say that about yourself. I think you're a very clever woman. And also, I will add that there are other values equally important if not more important than a diploma on a wall"
"Mmmm I could argue that one" she looked down on a table
"Yaz...look at me"
Yaz looked up
"Honesty and good heart cannot be thought. You either have it or you don't. Everything I know I can teach you. Every single bit. It's just information, nothing else. But what's in here" she points to the heart "No"
"Thank you...that was a very nice thing to say"
"Any time Yaz...now let's order some food I could swear that noise I just heard was my stomach"
Yaz giggled at her silly faces she kept making.
"So, I thought we go and do some sightseeing and then I'm taking you out this evening how does that sound?"
"Perfect"
They walked around for hours after lunch. Clara knew everything there was to know about the place. It was like having your own personal tour guide. The evening came quickly, and they returned to the hotel.
"I can't feel my legs" Yaz said as they walked back to their rooms
"You can have a rest before we go out if you'd like?"
"I think I need it to be honest or I'll end up wearing my trainers with that dress"
"Pick you up at eight?"
"Eight sounds perfect. Thank you for today. That was really nice"
"Don't mention it. Have nice rest"
"Alright see ya" Yaz waived and walked back into her room slumping on a bed.
Clara took off her clothes as soon as she got back into the room and then stepped into the shower resting her forehead on the tiles letting the hot water run down her spine. It felt soothing after a long day. Once she was alone with herself, a smile went from her face as well.
The burden of her decisions was haunting and now that she was alone, she had to face it. It was like a dark shadow that followed her every step, a shadow that only she herself could see.
....
Evening came in a heartbeat. Clara was standing in front of her closet in her underwear with her hair still slightly damp from her second shower. She needed it after a nap. She threw black pants and a white shirt on the bed. She felt better after the nap, her head definitely cleared or so she thought. But it didn't really matter which one as long as she felt lighter. She went to the bathroom and wiped the steam off the mirror with her hand, hazel eyes and a tired face staring back at her. The clusterfuck of her thoughts calmed down she thought. She never liked swearing and never did, but the occasion called for it. The soft fabric of the pants slid up her legs, she tucked in her shirt and fastened the braces. A message arrived on her phone, and she picked it up immediately
"Please give me another five minutes, it's been a while since I had to get ready like this. xx"
Clara chuckled and typed back
"Take as much as much as time as you need. We are not in a rush xx"
She was anxious to see Yaz. Yaz was like a breath of fresh air in her life. Something she had missed so much for a long time. She needed this air she needed it so much that without it she felt as if she was suffocating.
Unlike Clara, Yaz was in a hurry and all excited. She felt like she was dizzy from the past two days. She continued to question herself and what the hell she was doing, then pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind again and grabbed her shoes off the bed quickly putting them on. She was startled by a knock on her bedroom door and suddenly her heart was beating so fast it felt like it was going to jump out of her mouth.
She opened the door and at one look at Clara felt her jaw drop to the floor and wondered if it was visible. She hoped that it wasn't, because if it ever was, she would literally die on the spot.
"Waaw, look at you. I love the tie" she smiled
"Yaz...you look amazing" Clara said breathlessly. The tight black dress that hugged Yaz's body in all the right places and her beautiful long hair that fell over her bare shoulders gave her a whiplash.
"May I?" Clara reached for her hand and Yaz took it without a second thought. It was the first touch between them since they've met. But two steps down the hall, Clara intertwined their fingers and Yaz felt her legs loosen. It felt intimate, but also like she was coming home, and the thought completely confused her.
"Where are we going?" she asked Clara as they walked together down the hallway and reached the elevator
"Not far but I think you will love it" she smiled
Clara felt unusually calm compared to earlier, compared to any time really. But Yaz didn't think much of it and put it down to her being exhausted. She did drive for almost three hours and had a lecture after which she also spent hours taking Yaz all over the town and now she's also taking her out for dinner. Yaz was surprised this woman even walked by this point. Nobody ever gave her so much attention and she was grateful for every minute of it.
"You alright?" Yaz asked "You must be really tiered. I love this but we could have skipped it"
"Never in million years Yaz...I'm fine don't worry" she smiled to her and Yaz felt her rub a thumb on a side of her hand
The walked through the lobby into another part of the hotel and Yaz released they won't be leaving the hotel. She was relieved for Clara's sake. This was more than enough of an effort already. They walked into a restaurant and a man approached them at the door
"Good evening, Doctor" he addressed Clara
"Evening"
"I will need your room card for the reservation"
"Aaaa...clever man...finally someone calling it a card...yes of course" she reached into her pocket taking million things out on a counter. Little papers, ribbons, miniature tennis ball a candy wrapping, leaving the man and Yaz confused.
"Aaaa there it is!" she finally pulled it out
He took them to their table and Clara pulled the chair out for Yaz
"Like it?" she smiled
"Very much. It's perfect" she replied smiling
The waiter came straight away, and they made the order.
"When is your lecture tomorrow?" she asked and placed a small bag on a side of the table
"Same time in the morning. Won't be long" she said reassuring "Then we can go someplace nice"
"Do you have a plan?"
"I will do by tomorrow"
"Can I come?"
"Come where Yaz?"
"To your lecture. Iff that's ok?"
"Really?" she tilted her head. She wanted her there but didn't want to ask it of her"
"Yeah really...I want to see it. Besides I rather be there then walk around alone"
"Brilliant...guess we have part of the plan for tomorrow then...Aaa food that was fast" Clara smiles
Yaz got her plate and Clara leaned over the table "Mmm...that looks nice"
"Wanna try?" she offers a bite holding a fork
"No no you eat it"
"Don't be silly here...open" she reached across the table putting it in her mouth
"Mmmm that is nice...wanna try mine?"
"Thanks, but that's pork I don't eat pork. Sorry"
"Oh, sorry I forgot course you don't"
Yaz frowned slightly in confusion. In the last two days, she only ate chicken and turkey. Time passed quickly in the chat. Yaz felt like they had known each other forever and if there was ever a time when Yaz believed in the famous saying "As if we've known each other in another life" it was now because that's exactly how it felt. The only fear Yaz had was that this incredible, beautiful woman would disappear from her life as quickly as she entered it.
"How long have you lived in that house?"
"Three months"
"And before that?"
"Here and there, told you I traveled a lot...But not anymore...now I'm...well, here" she smiled literally glowing
"I see...how come?"
"Big plans...hope it works. What are your plans Yaz?"
"Work hard so I reach my goals"
"And they are?"
"To be in charge"
"I believe in you Yaz. I think your capable of a lot more than you give yourself credit for"
"Clara..."
"Yes," she sipped her drink and leaned back in her chair, swirling the glass of wine on the table.
"How come you're alone?"
Clara's lips twitched for a second, and it didn't escape Yaz's gaze. She was looking at her across the table still swirling the wine glass "I wasn't brave enough" she replied
"I don't understand" there was sadness and pain behind her eyes that Yaz could see as soon as she asked the question, making her regret ever doing it. But this was Yaz, she couldn't help it, and her timing for asking personal questions was always off.
She left the glass resting her hands on the table nervously squeezing her knuckles together with the other hand "I made a decision too late and then the time ran out"
"Oh, I'm so sorry"
Yaz expected a same question back, but it never came. She was grateful it hasn't because she had no idea how to explain her situation. She wouldn't even know where to start.
There was a moment of silence when their eyes met across the table, and they were both getting lost in each other's gaze. But then Yaz's eyes started aimlessly wondering around the restaurant.
"We are again the only ones left" she smiled nervously looking around
"Right" Clara suddenly stood up leaving Yaz wondering if what she said made her think she wanted to leave. But that would be the furthest from the truth, she could easily stay there and talk until dawn. Or maybe the question was too personal, and she fucked it up yet again. Then Clara reached for her hand "Wanna go for a walk?" she smiled
"That would be amazing but blimey Clara aren't you tiered?"
"Nope...well maybe just a little. Told ya...I don't need a lot of sleep"
"Ok then...I just need to get my jacket if you don't mind"
"Not at all"
They reached Yaz's room and Clara was walking around. "It's a nice room, isn't it?"
"Yap...very nice"
"Big windows" she leans over the edge looking down on the street "I love big windows...never had them...might get some"
"Riiiight" Yaz shook her head in confusion but dropped it. Clara would randomly come out with the weirdest comment, and Yaz was slowly getting used to it without paying too much attention
"Comfy bed...Well, it looks comfy" she swings around it is turning on her heel
"Yeah...ah...it is.... Shall we?" she lifts a jacket "I got my jacket"
"Yeah...sure let's go" Clara smiled and zoomed out of the room
"Oh, did you get those small shampoos? I love those I always keep the soap" she continued rambling as they walked towards the elevator
"OMG, I did the same thing" she laughs "It seemed shame to open them they are so cute and smell divine"
They walked the empty streets, Yaz though Clara holding her hand was a one-off thing, but clearly it wasn't because she held it now all the time and sometimes, she would gently brush her thumb over the side of her hand. She noticed how her skin was always cold to the touch, but it was soft and silky, and her grip was solid as if making sure she didn't lose it.
"Are you cold? ...Because if you're cold we can go back" Clara asked
"No, I'm fine. Don't worry about it. This is nice" she smiled, and their eyes met again.
Clara walked in relative silence that was quite unusual for her, because most of the times she had a problem closing her mouth and sometimes she wondered that she's not letting Yaz speak, but then there was so much she wanted to say to her. She enjoyed in silence and holding Yaz's hand. The warmth of her body and softness of her skin. From time to time a gentle breeze would carry the smell of her hair to Clara's face and she would close her eyes soaking it in.
"Why are you so quiet? You're tiered, aren't you?" Yaz asked. She really didn't want to torture her. She felt bad knowing that Clara was really trying to give her the wonderful experience, but she knew she must be exhausted by this point
"I promise I'm not"
"Is there something on your mind?" Yaz asked
"There's a lot on my mind but none of it have to do with this. I'm enjoying in this...In you" she glanced at her sideways for a moment giving her a big smile
"I'm enjoying in you too, very much. But I know you're struggling, and we should really go back"
"Alright...Maybe we should" she smiled
...
They walked out of the elevator and down the hallway to their rooms. Clara gently tugged her hand and turned her around.
"Hey there" Yaz smiled gazing at her
"Hey yourself beautiful" she said moving a strain of hair from her face "Would you like to go for breakfast with me before the lecture?"
"I'd love to" she looked down to their hands laced together following with her eyes Clara raising them to her lips and kissing her knuckles
"Kiss me," Yaz blurted out a request she had no idea where it came from or how she even had the courage to say, but this woman was making her do things that didn't make sense. Her heart was going to pop out of her mouth at this point and she was absolutely certain she just made an absolute idiot out of herself.
Clara stopped her face frozen and lips slightly parted "Yaz...I.." she twitched an eye as if processing that request
"Do you want to? Because if you don't it's fine I just..."
"Yes of course I do...very much so...but I wasn't sure if you...well I....." Yaz cut her off and pressed her lips onto hers still holding on to her hand, crushing into her without a thought in her brain and now she had no idea what to do next. She never thought this far ahead and was desperately hoping Clara will continue from this point forward before she makes a complete idiot out of herself. And to her relief she felt fingers slowly wrapping around her face deepening the kiss so hard it almost gave her a whiplash, a moan left her mouth, lips taking hers, sucking the breath out of her lungs slowly, gently, and passionately. Taking time to feel her, soaking in every moment making it last. Yaz brought her hands to the nape of Clara's neck. She felt tingles down her spine, and she was aware she was shaking like a branch. But nobody kissed her like that in her life making her feel like she's been pulled out of this place and floating somewhere in space. She tasted sweet and fizzy, soft
They parted pressing their foreheads together gazing at each other. Clara ran her finger over her cheek "This was nice...in fact brilliant...but I think I should go to my room now" she said quietly
"Mmmm" Yaz mumbled smiling
"You're beautiful" she whispered inches away
"And you're stunning" Yaz smiled, and Clara scrunched her face
"Neah...but glad you think so" she took her lips into hers again for another short kiss then tapped her nose with a finger "Nightie night"
"Night"
She waited till Yaz went into her room before going in herself. As soon as she shut the door, she leaned her back to the door and sighed.
A tear rolled down her cheek "I missed you so much Yasmin Khan" she said quietly then wiped her tears.
Yaz went to her room and like a little kid shut the door behind her putting her hand on her heart smiling eyes filled with tears. It was a first time she felt like this in her life. After so many times of her heart fell for unrequited love someone in this world wanted her. Someone in this universe saw her and didn't look through her. She still didn't know what this was or where it's heading but she was willing to put her whole self into it without questioning it. She didn't care she just met her she didn't care that it felt like her world just got turned upside down because she loved this upside down so much and she was going to grab it with both hands whilst it was still there for taking. Her hands were still shaking, and her legs trembled, but she was drunk with happiness.
...
It was early morning and Yaz was in her bathroom, she was already dressed and braiding her hair when she heard a knock on a door
"Fuck...Already?" she looked at the time and Clara was 15 min early "Come in!" she yelled, and the door opened up
"Morning!" Clara yelled as she came in
"Hey...morning...sorry I just need to get my hair sorted. Give me a minute"
"No worries...Hey I had an idea about what to do today"
"Tell me " she said still braiding her hair
"Oxford Castle if you'd like" Clara on a chair by the table studding all the stuff that was scattered across it. Makeup and hair pins
"Mmmm caste...Yeah why not...sounds interesting"
"It is...you're gonna love it. It was built by the Norman baron Robert D'Oyly the elder from 1071 to 1073." she walked next to her down the hallway but constantly turning around and walking backwards so she could look at her as she was explaining "He arrived in England with William I in the Norman Conquest of England and William the Conqueror granted him extensive lands in Oxfordshire..."
"You do know I'm not gonna remember any of this...Right?" she smiled coming out of the bathroom
"I'm still gonna say it" she laughed
"I know and I love it" she came up to her and stood between her legs, Clara went quiet as Yaz tucked her hair behind her ears "You can kiss me now...That is if you want to" she said cheeky, and Clara smirked
"I wasn't sure" Clara takes her hand. She had a way of seamlessly lacing their fingers together that Yaz found extremely attractive.
"You thought I changed my mind?"
"I don't just go around randomly kissing people you know"
"Just me?" Yaz giggled
"Just you" she smiled pulling her hand so she can reach her lips.
"You're going to be late and I'm hungry" Yaz smiled into her lips
"I know" she smiled again and kissed her short then got up "You sure you wanna go with me?"
"Absolutely"
"Alright let's go..."
Yaz sat in second row of the conference hall were Clara got her settled. It was interesting for her to see the lecture. Clara hopping around the big stage and rambling on following every word with her distinctive body language she was completely in her element. She understood now why she loved it so much. There was a lot of students attending but also some older people Yaz had no idea who they were and assumed they were professors like Clara. Yaz thought it would be hard for her to follow the topic, but Clara made it so easy and interesting to listen and two hours have passed in a blink.
"So, I will have to wrap this up soon but before I do I want to know what you think is the biggest influence of Sumerian culture on our civilization" Clara asked the students
"Aliens!" someone yelled making everyone including Clara laugh
"Aliens?" she raised eyebrow
"Yeah...you know Anunnaki...Don't you believe in aliens Doctor?"
"Of course, I believe in aliens I am an alien" her comment made everyone laugh
"I think we would know if you were Doctor"
"Aaah I wouldn't put my money on that one..." she scrunched her nose
"Right...Unfortunately I'm going to have to wrap this up or they will charge you extra and that would be embarrassing. It was a pleasure to be in front you all today"
Clara got off the stage down to where Yaz was sitting.
"You're crazy you know that"
"Did you have fun?"
"I absolutely loved it. You're right at home up there"
Clara reached for her hand and kissed her temple "I'm flattered...Come on let's go. I'm taking you somewhere nice"
"And that is?"
"A surprise...it has a beautiful view ...that's all I'm saying" she grins pulling her along
...
"That's a lot of stairs" Yaz looked up to en endless flight of spiral stairs
"And I promise you it's totally worth the climb...Go on...get a shift on" she grabs her waist pushing her up making her giggle
"Not like I have a choice, is it?"
"Nope...absolutely not" she nudged her again
Clara climbed the stairs of the stone tower with such ease she didn't even bat an eyelid unlike Yaz who was trying to ketch a breath as they climbed to the top.
"Blimey Clara...what are you running on? I swear my soul stayed somewhere halfway up" she said huffing and puffing but Clara grabbed her hand pulling her along.
"See...told ya...Beautiful, isn't it?" she showed her the view
"It is...it really is...windy but stunning" she smiled leaning on the metal railing
Clara walked up behind her and pressed on her back slipping hands around her waist, and she laid her head on her shoulder. The weather wasn't the best, so they were the only ones there allowing Clara to feel relaxed. She wasn't in favor of public display of affection, but she had a desperate need to feel Yaz close. Yaz smiled and leaned on her. The feeling was absolutely amazing "Thank you" she said snuggling herself in her arms
"I'm glad you like it"
"I love it...You're really dazzling me, aren't you?"
"Mmmm...am I?" she giggles
"You know you are, cheeky...And you're doing a good job of it as well"
"I hope so...But you are frozen solid, and we should go now"
A day passed quickly and Yaz felt a knot in a stomach as she was packing her bag. Clara put a maximum amount of effort in making her feel beautiful and wanted like nobody ever did and she didn't want this to end. She wanted it to continue and flow but tomorrow was Monday and it was a working day for both of them and she had no idea if this will just fizzle out after that. A nock on a door jolted her from her thoughts
"Come in" she yelled, and Clara walked in "Hey...Give me a minute I'm almost done" she said and closed her suitcase.
She avoided eye contact entirely, not wanting Clara to see her struggle to keep her tears away. She felt silly for showing so much emotion and she didn't know how Clara would react to it. After all, they had only known each other for three days, and that made her feel stupid. But her heart did not ask for approval.
"Alright take your time" Clara stood for a while with her hands in her pockets watching her walk around the room looking down each time she passed. She grabbed her forearm as she walked past her again. "Hey…are you okay?" she tilted her head to see her face which was still looking at the floor "Mmmm...sure," she shook her head, and Clara put a finger under her chin, making her look up. Eyes soaked with tears. Yaz knew her eyes were so full of them that they would roll down her cheeks if she blinked
"It's just stupid"
"Hey...come here" she pulled her in on her chest and tangled fingers in her hair "it's not stupid Yaz...I don't want to go either"
"You don't?" she couldn't sustain tears anymore they just rolled down
"No... I don't silly" she cupped her face raising her gaze "So we are stupid together"
Yaz laughed through the tears and Clara kissed her gently "You better find time to see me tomorrow or I'll get seriously upset with you" Clare said razing her eyebrow
"Of course, I will...promise" she nods smiling feeling like a ton of bricks fell of her shoulders
"Come on now...we have a long drive back"
Chapter 3
Yaz couldn't wait to finish her work and the day dragged on. It had been almost three weeks since she met Clara, and she still had a permanent smile on her face that everyone around her had already noticed. She had seen her every day since, and every day still felt like a dream from which she expected to wake up. And Clara never ceases to amaze her with her attentiveness and kindness making her feel like she was the most beautiful woman in a world.
She parked the car in front of Clara's house and took shopping bags out. She had a key now, so she let herself in.
"Babe? I'm here" she yelled then saw her in a garden caring branches and piling them up. She looked cute in blue trousers that didn't reach pass her calves, half laced boots and navy jumper with her usual braces. It was a look that Yaz loved the most because it resonated with her somewhere deep inside. It was her Clara.
"Babe..." Yaz said again as she got out
"Hey beautiful" she smiled caring huge pile of branches "Give me minute"
"Let me help"
"No, you'll get yourself dirty" she popped the branches on pile and wiped her hands on her sides "There...finished"
"Don't you have a gardener?"
"No... I would never Yaz. This is relaxing...it's nice to have hands in a dirt keeps you grounded" she smiled and came over leaning for a kiss keeping her hands away, so she doesn't stain her clothes "Mmmm...missed that all day" she said still inches from her lips
"You and me both" Yaz cupped her face "I got food. Everything you like" then grabbed her braces and kissed her briefly "Why don't you hop in a shower, and I'll make it in mean time"
Clara smiles "You're gonna spoil me"
"And it would be well deserved babe. You spoil me every day...go on, off you go" she tapped her bum as they walked inside
The smell of food climbed up the stairs making Clara hungry as she stepped out of the shower. She quickly changed and ran downstairs to the kitchen. Yaz was standing by the counter, putting food on plates.
"It's making me hungry" she slipped her hands around Yaz's waist and kissed her neck. Then took the plates "Kitchen or lounge?"
"Mmmm lounge"
"Brilliant" she zoomed around the corner "Can you bring..."
"Juice" Yaz finished her sentence "Sure babe"
They sat on the floor around the coffee table. The fire was burning in the fireplace and the lights were dimmed making the room nice and cozy. Since it is already December, the days were short, so even though it was only seven in the evening, it was already pitch dark outside.
"Yaz...I was thinking"
"You always do babe" she giggled "Sorry...what were you thinking?" she automatically wiped a crumb from the corner of Clara's mouth
"You know you really loved going to Oxford with me"
"Mmmm" Yaz took another bite and flashed it with a sip of juice "Best decision in my life" she flashed a smile
"Well, I've got another lecture next weekend" she grins
"Really?" she smiled exited
"Wanna come?"
"You didn't even have to ask that" she jumped across the table kissing her
It was almost ten in the evening, and they were still lying on the sofa watching a movie. Yaz was lying on Clara’s chest running her finger over the knuckles of her hand that was resting on her stomach. She loved nothing in this world more than those evening cuddles. One thing she had learned in those three weeks with Clara was that as much as her girlfriend was super hyper at absolutely everything she did, she was also capable of being extremely calm at times. She got to know her pretty well, for example that her favorite color was blue, that she was addicted to custard cream and that she was extremely outgoing but very traditional at the same time. So traditional that in three weeks of being together, they still haven't moved away from kissing and cuddling. Although some of the cuddling did extend a bit to her hands occasionally wandering to Yaz's breasts or sliding seamlessly down her back and over her bottom. It was a pace Yaz was comfortable with, and Clara seemed to understand that. The rush of feelings and unexpected emotions she felt from the first moment they met was enough of a blow for Yaz, and she half expected to be dumped after the first night. But after their trip to Oxford, Clara set a slower pace and gave Yaz much-needed confidence and time to process her own emotions. What she felt for Clara was so deep and intense that even to this day she couldn't find an explanation for it. But at one point she stopped looking for it and just eased herself into it. Clara felt like home, she was her safe place and she felt she didn't have to use words with her, she just understood her. They had their own language that spoke louder than any words, it was something that Yaz valued with all her heart
The slow circular motions of Clara's hand over her stomach lulled Yaz to sleep. She had a hard day at work and the room was cozy, she slowly fell asleep in her arms.
"Yaz...darling" a soft voice woke her up from her sleep. She had no idea what time it was, but it seemed late.
"OMG...fuck...sorry...I fell asleep" Yaz woke up and sat sleepy on the sofa
"No worries potty mouth" Clara laughed kneeling in front of her "Listen it's late, I don't want you driving home at this time. Would you like to stay?" she asked brushing her thumb over her cheek
"I'd love to, if you're fine with that?"
"I'd like nothing more" she got up and reached for her hand to get her up
She laced their fingers and led Yaz upstairs. It was a first time Yaz saw the upper floor of the house, but she was still half asleep and didn't really register any of it until the bedroom door opened up.
"Make yourself comfortable I'll be downstairs if you need me" Clara said at the door
"Whaaa?" Yaz's eyes open wide "What are you going on about?"
Clara stood at the door confused and then fidgeted uncomfortably pointing to the ground floor "Sofa...I'll be on a sofa"
"No, you're fucking not. Don't be ridiculous"
"I thought..."
"You think way too much" she frowned slightly laughing "Please...sleep next to me. I want you to" she tugged her braces "Pleasee" she pleaded pulling her harder until she finally stepped inside.
She placed a small kiss on Clara's lips and then another one and then slowly pulled her braces down from her shoulders and pulled her shirt out of trousers.
"Yaz...You don't need to do this" she said quietly and took her hand kissing her knuckles
"No... I don't" she tucked her hair behind her ear gazing at her "But I want to...if you do?"
Clara gazed at her for a moment then reached out, wrapping her fingers around her face, and Yaz leaned into it, closing her eyes, kissing her palm. She pulled her close and kissed her lightly, then deepened the kiss.
It was a sign of consent and Yaz was relieved. As much as Clara's slow burn pace agreed with her, she had felt ready for this for a while, but she never knew how to approach the subject. Her girlfriend was smart and witty and knew how to steer a conversation away from a topic she didn't want to talk about. So Yaz tried to be subtle in her approach by giving her little hints about what she wanted her to do, but Clara managed to deflect that as well, leaving Yaz to wonder if maybe she should just be open. So, she welcomed this moment to let her know exactly what she wanted hoping her girlfriend wouldn't find some other clever way to get out of it.
Yaz ran her fingers through her hair. Clara's lips trailed down her neck and collarbone. She hadn't kissed her like that before, nor were her hands as busy as they were now, going over her breast and the curve of her waist, sliding under her sweater to touch her bare skin.
"Take it off" Yaz said, and Clara looked back at her eyes "It's ok, take it off" Yaz repeated
Clara kissed her again and took off her sweater in one move.
"You're so beautiful" Clara whispered and Yaz reached out taking her bra off throwing in on the floor standing half bare in front of Clara seemed so natural. It wasn't what she expected at all, but it was as easy as breathing.
"Your turn" Yaz chuckled making Clara smiled and kiss her again, her fingers brushing over Yaz's breast making her moan into her mouth.
She reached for Clara's T-shirt and pulled it over her head and took her bra off, then slid her hand between her breasts. Clara watched her face as she did this watching her as her hand slid down her stomach sliding her knuckles over the bare silky skin probing her curiosity. Yaz felt her gaze and kept concentrating on the soft skin of her stomach. There was something very powerful in being aware that she was watched that she couldn't explain. Clara ran her thumb over her face and then pulled her in for another kiss trailing her lips down her neck and her hands across her back gently tracing her spine with her fingertips making Yaz shiver at her touch. She kissed her passionately, her mouth exploring the skin of her shoulder, tilting her head with her hand, and running her lips over her neck. She rested her hands on Yaz's hips, slowly pushing her to the edge of the bed. Yaz sat down and looked up, hooded eyes looking back at her running fingers through her hair and then a thumb over her lips making her close her eyes for a moment.
Clara was there in front of her, standing by the side of the bed between her legs half naked in a dark room. Yaz pressed her lips on her soft stomach making Clara moan tilting her head tangling her fingers into Yaz's hair.
Yaz never heard those sounds from her mouth and the fact that she was making her do it seemed unbelievable. In no hurry she ran her hands down her waist and her lips over the soft skin of her stomach. Then she reached for the hem of trousers opening them slowly and kissing exposed skin until she slid them down her sides. She looked up again and met her eyes. Clara smiled slightly, and Yaz wrapped her arms around her waist, laying her head on her stomach for a moment, wanting to feel her. She felt her stomach move as she breathed, and Clara leaned into her gently running her fingers over her back. Yaz pulled back and kissed her down the hem of her underwear. She heard a low moan from Clara's mouth. She knew Clara was letting her do whatever she wanted, giving her time to explore her.
But for Yaz it didn't feel like exploring and it was the strangest of feelings. She felt like she knew this body very well and more reminding herself how it felt.
She felt her breathing quickened as her fingers hooked around the edges of her underwear slowly pulling them down her sides and letting them fall to the floor joining her trousers. Clara moved just a little to step out of them and slyly nudged it all behind her with her foot causing Yaz to laugh as she immediately returned to the same position and looked at Yaz smiling in a cutest way.
"Your stunning" Yaz whispered looking up and trailed her hands down her sides and her back
Clara placed a finger under her chin and then leaned down, capturing her lips gently pushing her to lie on the bed. Yaz could see her in full glory now and she was stunning, she propped herself up on her hands so she could see better and now she could see all the parts of her that she could only feel through the clothes.
She enjoyed the brief display before Clara began to fiddle with the button of her jeans. Yaz giggled at her speed of opening the button and a zipper before Yaz could blink
"What?" Clara looked up, her hands grabbing the hem ready to pull them down
"Nothing babe...go on what are you waiting for?" Yaz razed her hips of the mattress to help her a little and Clara pulled everything off her in a few moves throwing it across the room in such a way that Yaz giggled again.
"Are you laughing at me Yasmin Khan?" she commented as Yaz was left bare to the world
"Just a little" she giggles again, and Clara razed her eyebrow starting to climb the bed pushing Yaz to move forward until she was fully on it.
Clara caged her body and then released that Yaz had already made a room for her between her thighs making herself comfortable. Clara had tiny frame, but she was surprisingly heavy. Her body pressing Yaz into the mattress felt amazing and Yaz eased into it immediately wrapping her legs around her and moving hair from her face. She had a permanent smile on her face partially because she was incredibly happy and partly because she felt a bit nervous. As always with everything, Clara was in tune with her feelings making even this moment a slow burn.
"I adore you" Yaz said smiling. It was her way of saying she loved her, but those words still didn't leave her mouth
"I adore you too my beautiful" Clara smiled placing short kiss on her lips "Nervous?"
"Little...but I'm in good hands" she strokes her cheek "I just released something"
"That you want me badly" she smugs
"I realized that from the moment I laid my eyes on you...but no something else"
"What" she kissed the tip of her nose
"Sweet smell around you. I always thought it was your perfume. But it's you...you smell like candy or more like Christmas cookies" she said playing with her hair "It's lovely"
"Do I now...Mmmm...I never knew that...So you want to eat me Yaz?"
Yaz cracked up laughing. Knowing Clara that was not a dirty talk in a way Yaz heard it, but it had the same effect. "In one way or another yes" Yaz cupped her face and kissed her gently.
Clara deepening the kiss, short moans leaving her mouth. She propped herself up hovering above Yaz and as she moved Yaz missed her already. But she didn't have to wait for long, Clara sealed her lips onto her breast kissing it gently. Yaz looked down watching her do it moving hair from her face and tracing fingers over her shoulders. Her skin was cool to the touch but incredibly soft. She moved slowly down Yaz's body trailing lips over every curve and released Yaz is following her lips, twisting herself to each touch. Her skin was like velvet, soft and beautiful, and unlike Clara she was fluffy to the touch, curvy and absolutely gorgeous. She waited so long to press her lips on her she wasn't going to rush wanting to touch and kiss every single inch of her and store it in her memory. Clara buried her face into her soft stomach kissing it gently, smelling her skin that reminded her of summer nights. Yaz's fingers ran through her hair gently and so lovingly. She couldn't remember last time she felt so loved. Yaz's love is real and raw without limits. It was something that poured out of her in the most innocent way and Clara needed it like the air in her lungs. She had to kiss her, she had to see her face, her beautiful, dreamy eyes that looked deep into her soul, so she moved and took her lips with hers, stealing the breath from her mouth.
"You're absolutely beautiful" she whispered smiling and then sloped down to Yaz's stomach trailing lips over her mound. Yaz gasped as she brushed her fingers between her thighs. Her heart was pounding, and her breathing quickened. Clara slipped her hands underneath her thighs pulling her closer. Yaz jolted as she went through her the first time a quite moan leaving her mouth. Clara's hands rested on her stomach, and she reached for them lacing their fingers.
She wanted to touch her, but she didn't want to let go of her hands. It felt good to be locked together like this feeling her pass through her, hot breath between her thighs. Yaz could feel herself falling, her moans filling the air
"Fuck babe" she mumbled pulling Clara's hands she shuddered as it washed her over
Clara let go of her hands and kissed the inside of her legs then wiped her face into the sheets. She smiled as she saw Yaz fall onto the sheets and ran her fingers through her thighs causing her to twitch. She found it adorable how Yaz flew off before she even started. She lay down next to her, kissing her gently, then swung her leg over her side pulling her close. She wanted more from her, but the night was young, and she needed her rest. She watched in silence as Yaz's face drifted away, relaxed and sleepy, only moaning softly as Clara pulled her closer. Looking happy and calm, Clara brushed a strand of hair from her face and kissed her on the tip of her nose. Only then did Yaz open her eyes.
"Welcome back beautiful" she smiled "I absolutely adore you"
"I love you too" words rolled across her lips and Clara clenched her jaw
"I love you too my beautiful" she cupped her face with her fingers and pressed her lips to her forehead. It was a strategic move because Yaz couldn't see her tear-filled eyes. She buried her head into her neck. And Yaz snuck into the space. She slid her arm around Clara, squeezing her tightly.
"I'm so happy with you" she whispered into her neck unaware Clara was silently crying wiping her tears quickly between stroking Yaz's hair
"I am my happiest with you Yaz" she barely managed to say it deep down hoping Yaz will fall asleep until she pulls herself together.
She wasn't ready for this, haven't prepared herself to go this far. As much as every atom in her body wanted it, Yaz took her by surprise.
She liked to be in control of everything and it scared her to lose herself like this. But Yaz had that effect on her ever since she met her. This is what happens when someone is an essential part of your being. The part of you that was always missing. And once you find it, there is no force in this world that will tear you apart.
Yaz woke up to the sound of water in the bathroom. And she saw a ray of light shining over the bed. She turned around and door was open, she could see outline of Clara through the glass door of the shower cubicle. She was so happy it felt like her whole body was trembling inside. Yaz got up and wrapped herself with a sheet
"Hey, sleepy head...had nice nap?" Clara peaked through the door of the shower.
"Yeah, I did" Yaz gave her a biggest smile that melted Clara's heart immediately
"Water is nice wanna join me?" she smiled and reached her hand through the door
"I could do with a shower"
"There's definitely room for two"
Yaz let her sheet drop to the floor and took her hand
"Hey beautiful" she said wrapping fingers around her face and placed a small kiss to her lips
"Hey yourself" Yaz looked at her getting lost in her eyes. She placed her hands on her hips then started gliding them down her curves. Gentle kisses and just running hands over each other was what they both needed at this point. And a shower woke them both up. They stepped out and Clara grabbed a big fluffy towel drying Yaz then wrapped her up in it before drying herself.
"Are you hungry? Cause I'm really hungry" Clara said digging through the drawer and took out fresh pair of nickers out then gave Yaz a shirt from her wardrobe "I think you will look really nice in this" she said
"Thanks...yeah I could do with some food"
They came to the kitchen and Clara was rummaging through the fridge taking out everything on the counter. She looked like she was glowing, and Yaz released that of all the different faces she could pull off, this was a new one she'd never seen before. It was happy, peaceful and so kind. Yaz felt like she was falling in love with her all over again.
"It's fine babe you don't need to empty out your whole fridge...It's like right there in our reach" she laughs "I'll just have some chocolate spread and milk
"Call in sick" Clara said slamming the peanut butter on the kitchen top
"Whaaa?"
"Tomorrow morning...call in sick...take a week off..."
"Are you for real?"
"Definitely last time I checked" she smirks "I'm serious I want you here with me"
"You're crazy..." she laughed "I suppose I can use my holiday...but I will still need to lie why so suddenly"
"Brilliant…" she jumped up and circled the counter grabbing Yaz's chair and swinging it around, then found a place for herself between her legs. "So, I have you to myself all week?"
"You're gonna have me to yourself permanently when I get sacked" she laughs tucking hair behind her ear
"That's fine Yaz I have plenty of money" she looked down and ran her hands over Yaz's bare legs "I also have some contacts in UNIT...Maybe if I call Kate tomorrow" she scrunched her face
"I have no idea what you're saying but I don't care because you look so cute" she kisses her gently "Wanna a bite" she offered her some chocolate spread on a bread and Clara took a bite
"Right" she jumps and zoomed around the kitchen top "Now I'm really hungry"
She scoffed through the whole packet of custard cream and flushed it with a glass of milk. And then to Yaz's absolute horror also ate three slices of bread with chocolate spread. She had all the evidence she needed that Clara was running on pure sugar and she had no idea how she could stay that slim. Now she saw her without clothes she realized just how slim she really was. And how she could literally count all the vertebrae on her back. Now when she saw her without clothes, she also released just how much more beautiful she was. And how after tonight she will have a serious problem keeping her hands away from her. She also came to conclusion how Clara's ability to go from one extreme to another extended into the bedroom. From someone who kept a slow burn for three weeks and not moving from kissing she jumped into a supersonic speed in just few hours. And how her hands were permanently on Yaz on places where they've never been before, not that she was complaining at all. But now she was again tiered sitting on a bar stool for a solid hour waiting for her girlfriend to empty out the fridge. She slumped her head to the kitchen top whiles Clara was finally putting food back into the fridge. Yaz wanted this night to continue but now she was seriously questioning if she will have any strength at all. It also occurred to her that she should have texted her mom that she wasn't coming home.
"Babe" Yaz said with head resting on the counter
"Mmmm?"
"Iff I'm gonna be here for a week I really need to go and get some stuff from my apartment. I don't even have anything to change into"
"Yeah sure...No problem"
"You can go with me and meet my mum and dad"
Clara dropped the peanut butter on the floor and got all flustered when Yaz said that "Ahh...Yeah...meeting parents...sure no problem. Why not. Meeting Yaz's mum"
"Babe are you alright?"
"Sure" she slammed the fridge door "Why wouldn't I be?"
"My parents are great...you'll see...Don't be nervous. My dad will probably feed you his terrible pakora"
"I love pakora...Oh dear" one look at Yaz and she realized she's gonna fall asleep on a counter. And she was right because as soon as she came up to her Yaz slumped her head on her shoulder "Come on you...let's get you to bed
Chapter 4
Yaz woke up early, her alarm clock was relentless. She just reached out and put it on snooze, then released Clara's hand had fallen over her waist. It was an unusual but amazing feeling to wake up next to someone. She turned to see her face crushed into the pillow, hair falling over it. As Yaz moved she automatically tightened her grip pulling her back and moaning in displeasure, so Yaz agreed to stay just for a bit longer. She had to get up at one point and call the station if she was going to stay a week. It was surreal, staying with Clara for a whole week, in her house, in her bed for that matter. The sound of rain on the window lulled her to sleep, the drawn curtains made the room dark, and that didn't help either. She tried to wriggle out of bed without waking Clara and after a few attempts she succeeded. She pulled the duvet over her bare shoulders and went down to the kitchen.
The call was short and to her surprise her boss didn't mind her taking a few days off even though she felt guilty for lying through her teeth about her nanny being bad. She then texted her mom and a red text from her sister. Now she was up she felt hungry.
The smell of the toast was divine, and the kettle was just boiling water for her tea. It was relaxing to eat breakfast looking at the garden.
Clara had a relatively large garden for the size of her house, detached with a garage to the side, brick exterior and those beautiful old bay windows. It was quite small, but still much bigger than Yaz's apartment. A narrow hallway with steep stairs, a long living room on the right that runs the length of the house from the front to the garden and a small study and kitchen on the left. She had no idea what was upstairs as she only saw the bedroom and the bathroom.
But the house was beautiful and cozy. Decorated in a relatively old-fashioned way with dark chocolate colored furniture and wallpaper, except for the modern kitchen which was very spacious.
Clara kept saying she wanted a conservatory so she could sit inside on cold days and feel like she was in a garden. She wanted it to flow all the way from the kitchen to the living room. It was a project that she said was planned for spring and that she had already agreed with the landlord.
It was really pouring outside, and it looked quite miserable and dark. The dark clouds obscured the sun sufficiently, so the house was quite dark as well.
She saw the blue box in the garden again and took a closer look. It was a real old police phone box. It even had a plaque on the front. The only unusual thing was a small light on top that Yaz just assumed was set up to illuminate the garden at night. It was the strangest thing ever, but it was perfectly spelling her girlfriend's name.
Yaz was so happy that she waited for herself to wake up from his dream. She could still feel Clara's lips on hers and elsewhere for that matter, and that other place made her blush with pleasure. It made her grin as she sipped her tea. She had long ago come to terms with the fact that she would remain alone for the rest of her life. Online dating wasn't her thing and as much as she knew how to stand her ground when it came to her work, when it came to romance Yaz was shy and lost. Especially when it came to her sexuality, it was a topic that always brought to the surface the darkest periods of her life and something she desperately tried to forget. But Clara made it safe for her to be who she was. She made her feel comfortable in her own skin and gave her enough space to discover herself to feel herself like she never had before. Clara never demanded anything from her, and from day one everything was Yaz's decision. She let her call the shots. And she loved her immensely for that. Yaz was under no illusion, especially since last night, of how much self-control her girlfriend had to have. Last night she felt it in her touch just how much she desperately wanted her.
"Hey, you, I woke up alone and that's just not on" a voice jolted Yaz from her thoughts
"Morning darling" she swung the chair around with a big smile on her face
Clara came down to the kitchen wearing only underwear and a white shirt that hung loosely from her petite body with collar and sleeves unbuttoned. She made space for herself again between Yaz's legs running hands over her bare sides.
"I missed you" she smiled and Yaz immediately kissed her. She didn't have to be told, she wanted to do it since she woke up.
"Breakfast?" Yaz asked still smiling
"Definitely...ewwww what a day" she commented looking over Yaz's shoulder
"I know I was hoping we could go out and do something but no chance. Also, I need to go and get my things. Wanna go?"
"No Yaz, not today I'm sorry. You go honey I still have some work to do today" she kissed her forehead and Yaz got off the chair to make her breakfast.
"So, what do want?" she said bending into the fridge
"You" Clara grins
"Silly sod..." Yaz giggles "Apart from me"
"Just some bread and butter beautiful"
"My nickers look good on you" Clara said kissing her shoulder and slipping her arms around Yaz's waist whiles she was making a tea
"If, you continue like this you will make me ruin them as well" she laughed shaking her head
"Mmm...then you will have to be without them"
Yaz turned around and put her arms around her shoulders "How I about I make you ruin yours instead?"
"You already are Yaz" she raises her eyebrow kissing her then lifts her on the kitchen top.
"I love you so much" Yaz said leaning her forehead against hers and fiddling with her hair at the back of neck
"I absolutely adore you Yaz" she whispered running fingers down her legs "I can't tell you how happy I am with you. I missed you"
"Missed me babe?" Yaz asked
"When you were not in my life" she said with sadness trailing hands from her legs over her waist
"I missed you too out of my life darling...so much. I never knew I would have someone like you" she pulled her head onto her chest hugging her tightly
"Bed?" Clara asked kissing her neck
"What about your breakfast?"
"You're my breakfast" she lifts her head grinning cute and almost childlike
"I like the idea of that...Besides I'm getting cold"
"I'll warm you up" she smugs scooping her from the kitchen top
Yaz kissed her all the way to the bedroom unbuttoning her shirt and pulling her up the stairs by the collar. She was waiting for this since last night and felt so bad that she was absolutely dying by the time they left the kitchen at almost three in the morning and just curled up in her arms falling asleep as soon they went back to bed. She wanted her so badly by this point that she could easily rip that shirt of her. But she didn't, it was a nice shirt and a part of her evening attire, and she would never ruin something that made her look so sexy. So, she fiddled with tiny buttons as they stood in the middle of a dark bedroom. Outside, the weather turned bad, and it was as dark as seven in the evening.
"Need help with that?" Clara smirked standing straight looking down at her hands concentrating on the buttons
"Yes please" she looked up laughing
Clara unfastened them in a second. Clever fingers did it so quickly with one hand, while the other was already wrapped around Yaz's face pulling her in for a passionate kiss. As the shirt loosened around her chest, Yaz's hands immediately went to work, sliding around the exposed skin letting the shirt fall to the floor, she wrapped them around Clara's waist deepening their kiss. Yaz nudged her across the room mimicking what Clara had done to her last night until Clara's legs hit the bed. She didn't sit down but slid her arm around Yaz's waist and turned her on the bed and within seconds Clara was sitting on top of her unbuttoning Yaz's shirt and kissing her hard then her lips moved down her neck and she took both of Yaz's hands pinning them to pillow "Can I have you?" she asked holding her hands looking up at her as her hair fell around her face
"Of course, you can...You don't need to ask me silly" she giggled
"It's only polite Yasmin"
Yaz got shivers when she spoke her name like that. She would let her do whatever she wanted with her at that point.
"Kiss me" Yaz asked desperate to touch her and unable to with her hands pinned to the pillow
"I was going to" she brushed her lips onto hers then took them into her own sucking air out of Yaz's lungs then showered her whole face with loads of small ones as well making Yaz giggle.
She slowly released her hands as she moved down her body trailing her lips over every inch of her skin and removed her underwear leaving her naked up to her eyes. "You're so beautiful," she said, running her fingers down his sides. Yaz didn't want to think about how she looked from that angle as Clara sat between her legs admiring the view as if she was sitting watching the most beautiful sunset in the world. In fact, the thought that what she had between her legs could make someone so happy was astounding. But then Clara had the same effect on her, so she just assumed she felt the same way. She hoped that the discomfort would fade over time and that one day she would feel comfortable enough not to care. But then, as if acutely hearing her thoughts, Clara moved forward hovering above her
"Don't be embarrassed...I don't see it like you do. I think your absolutely gorgeous my love and I will always admire every inch of your body. And that one in particular is only mine to see. So that makes is special"
"How did you know?" Yaz smiles as she made a room for herself between her legs and lied on top of her. She welcomed her with all her heart.
"Hmmm...that's nice" she wiggled her hips and scrunches her nose "Bighead remember"
Yaz giggled to that, and it brought the tension of the moment down. She immediately felt more comfortable, and Clara proved to her once again just how attentive and gentle she was.
"I really love that big head" she smiles and kisses her gently
Clara sloped back down soon enough and pressed her lips to where it made Yaz blush making her moan into the pillow she was pulling over her face. Clever fingers brushed against her and eased themselves inside her and Yaz tugged on Clara's hair.
"Alright darling?" Clara asked but Yaz didn't answer, she moaned in pleasure at her fist move making Clara smile taking it as a positive answer and continued at the slow pace. It was a feeling like none other and made Yaz emotional through the pleasure. She already considered Clara essential part of herself but now this gave it a different meaning all together.
"God, I love you" Yaz moaned stroking her hair gently
Heat surged through her as thrust became faster. As her lips sealed themselves on her. Yaz wiggled across the bed and Clara had to pull her back from time to time then laced her fingers together speeding up the pace. Yaz was gone, her moans became lauder, and she grabbed the sheets and squeezed Clara's hand feeling herself falling. She shuddered and slumped to the mattress covering her face with her hand and she tugged on Clara's hand.
"Hey...hey...Darling what's wrong?" she moved her hand off her face "Did I hurt you Yaz?" she asked in horror
"No silly woman" Yaz gazed at her tears rolling of her face "I really fuckin love you"
"Blimey potty mouth you nearly made me regenerate" she kissed her forehead, tip of her nose and then her lips running thumb over her face "I absolutely adore you Yasmin Khan"
"I love you to the moon and back" she ran her palm over her face smiling
"Well, that's not that far" she said scrunching her nose making Yaz giggle
Clara pulled her on her chest and threw covers over them both. Rain outside was relentless bashing against the window and wind could be heard swirling over the trees
Yaz curled up next to her tiered feeling like she ran a marathon.
"Yaz please don't go anywhere today"
"What do you mean darling?"
"It's really horrible weather and I don't want you driving in that. Unless I take you"
"But you have work to do"
"I'll postpone it but please I'll drive you if you really need to go"
"Noo...I don't want you to do that. I can wait till tomorrow. I'll just need new nickers" she laughs
"I think we can manage that" she kissed her head "I also do have a washer" she smiles
They were quite for a while just snuggling underneath the cover listing to the rain outside. Clara made lazy circles on Yaz's shoulder lulling her into sleep, but sleep wasn't what Yaz had in mind, at least not this time around. She wiggled around a bit to move herself higher
"Hey, why did you move? That was comfy" she frowned a bit then released Yaz is gazing at her smiling eyes wide open. She looked at her as if she was a Christmas present ready to be unwrapped.
"What?" she asked confused and got an immediate answer when Yaz explained by pressing her lips to hers.
Clara cupped her face in her fingers, deepening the kiss immediately. She was ready to kiss her anytime and was hardly going to complain.
Yaz ran her hand down Clara's body under the covers. She could move them, and she knew Clara wouldn't protest, but there was something about her not seeing her and just touching her that Yaz loved so much. It was as if she could map her body with her hand.
Clara's hands were already at work sliding up her back and the other cupped her face kissing her until she was out of breath. She felt Clara move with her hand and her kisses deepened moaning softly into Yaz's mouth as her hand slid between her thighs caressing her, rocking her hips following her hand. Her grip on Yaz's neck tightened and she rested her head on hers, unable to kiss anymore just closing her eyes. She didn't care what Yaz was doing because, whatever it was, she knew she was going to make her fly.
Yaz moved, pressing his lips to her neck, and trailing them down her chest, taking her breast into her lips and kissing the soft skin of her stomach and her hips. Clara's back ached, her moans filling the room grabbing at whatever part of Yaz she could as her lips descended to where she desperately wanted them to go. Her hot breath hit her thighs, soft kisses trailing down her legs. Yaz couldn't get enough of her, she pressed her lips to every part of her and touched every curve, running her fingers over the silky skin. She sealed her lips between her thighs and Clara moved with each pass, her hand in Yaz's hair as she dragged herself over her lips. Feeling her deep inside her moving through her.
"Don't stop...please, please darling don't stop" she muttered
And Yaz didn't there was no way she ever would she was determined to show her all the love she caried for her in her heart and how painfully she desired her.
"Shoot..." Clara whimpered, grabbing Yaz's hand that was on her stomach, squeezing it so tightly that Yaz couldn't feel her fingers anymore. She felt her cramping around her, her body shuddered. Her lips parted and her cheeks red from the heat the hair sticking to her face. She pushed herself away and plopped down on the bed. She was still holding onto Yaz's hand and pulled her across the bed.
"I love you so much" she said breathlessly fingers wrapped around her head she pulled her for a kiss tasting herself in her mouth.
"I adore you" Yaz said stroking her hair moving it from her face as she slumped to the pillow "So you liked that?" she asked smiling
"Liked it? Are you serious Yaz? That was amazing, beautiful...Come here" she pulled her on her chest
Yaz felt her heart, it was beating like a drum in a fast pace. So fast she could swear she felt it both side of her chest.
"Shower?" Yaz lifts her head
"Definitely..." she smiled back and got out of bed trying to walk on wobbly legs
They both felt more human afterwards. And decided to change the sheets as well. Yaz waited by the window for Clara to take them out of the cupboard when thunder ripped through the sky making her jump.
"See aren't you happy you stayed here?" she said looking outside over her shoulder
A lightning ripped through hitting the little light on top of the blue box and a force field shined around it like a Christmas tree.
"FUCK!!!" Yaz jumped screaming
"Ups!" Clara said razing her eyebrows
"Wtf was that?"
"Just lightning darling" she kissed her temple and threw the clean sheet on the bed "I'll look at it tomorrow for any damages don't worry"
They spent the rest of the day around the house. Clara was doing something in her study, and Yaz decided to spoil her with a wonderful dinner. She managed to find enough in the kitchen to make it work but admitted that she would have to do some serious shopping the next day if she didn't want to live on cookies and milk for a week. Clara found some clothes for her and laughed it off as she pulled on a pair of loose trousers that don't reach and a blue t-shirt. It looked cute on Clara, but she herself felt silly wearing it. She wondered how many Clara had because she was always in them around the house. The rain didn't stop, it was like a monsoon outside. Yaz looked out into the garden towards the blue box. What she saw earlier scared her. She'd never seen anything like it before, but then it wasn't like she'd seen lightning so close.
They had dinner and Clara was grinning the whole time. Now she had the same look as Yaz had for the past three weeks. She also couldn't keep her hands off Yaz and would lightly touch her even when they passed each other in the kitchen. Their fingers would brush when they changed the plates putting them in the washing machine and every now and then they would give each other little kisses. Yaz fell asleep again halfway through the movie. Lying on Clara's chest with her hand gently stroking her back putting her to sleep within minutes, but Clara didn't mind. She stroked her hair and kissed her head and woke her up to drag her to bed. Yaz wasn't sure if she ever wanted to go home. She wasn't even sure Clara wanted that because she had mentioned at least five times during the day that she wanted the time not to run out.
Chapter 5
Morning came and Yaz realized with one look out the window that the rain had stopped. Clara was not next to her, so she assumed that she had gotten up earlier. She got up and couldn't find her, so she got dressed and decided to look in the garden.
"Clara!" she yelled
"Hey morning...I'm up here" she waived happy from the roof
"Babe wtf??? What are you doing?" Yaz yelled petrified seeing her balancing almost at the top
"The storm damaged the roof so"
"So, you just thought you'd climb on it and do it yourself? Like Wtf girl...?"
"Yeah, why not...stop stressing potty mouth it's fine. Just few tiles moved from the wind. Anyways it's almost done"
"You're a complete nutter you know that"
"Are you going to your mums?" she asked standing on the top with her hands on her waist giving Yaz shivers down her spine. But this time not the sexy kind.
"Yes, I'm not gonna be long and don't make food dad made something for both of us. And please don't die either"
"Why's that? Because you love me so much you can't live without me?"
"Fuck off Clara!!" she laughed rolling her eyes "And yes"
"Did you just tell me to fuck off Yasmin Khan?"
"You heard it right...I also told you I love you" she sends her a kiss with her hand and leaves
...
"Hi mum" Yaz walked into the apartment and kissed her on a cheek "Where's dad?"
"Hy hun, he had to go to office today...don't you look happy" Nadja said stroking her face
"Mmmm" she smiled
"So sorry for that late message mum I fell asleep watching a movie and then Clara asked me to stay. She was worried about me driving that late"
"Well, I'm glad you have a smart girlfriend"
"We are glad she has any girlfriend" Sonya peaks around the corner
"I love you too sister" she rolled her eyes
"So, when are you moving out Yaz?" Sonya smirked
"Not just yet don't start celebrating"
"So, when are we gonna meet this mysterious person then?"
"Soon...she had to work on a roof today. That storm last night really did some damage and there was a lightning in a back garden I almost jumped out of me nickers"
"Didn't know you had any on Yaz" Sonya comment
"Oh, sod off Sonya..."
"Fancy going shopping with me mum? I have to get some basics. Clara's kitchen is...well, basic to say the least"
"Yeah...actually I might do, I need to get some stuff for us as well"
"Can I go?"
"You can if you're not rude"
"Promise...come on I have to wind you up a little. I'm happy for you. Is she pretty?"
"She's stunning" Yaz smiled
...
Yaz drove up to the house and leaned closer to the window. The garage door was open, and the blue box was hanging from the ceiling. Yaz frowned baffled and confused out of her mind.
She parked the car and opened the booth when Clara came out of the garage dressed even strange for her. Wearing steampunk goggles and brown apron with the pair of gloves on her hands. She pulled the goggles up on the top of head and took off her gloves smiling.
"Hey beautiful" she walked up to the car and kissed her temple "Don't...that's heavy I'll take the bags"
"What are you wearing silly" she laughed "You look sexy" she smacked her bum as she bends down to take the shopping bags
"You look very beautiful yourself Yaz" she stood up
"Why is your shed hanging from the ceiling in the garage babe?" she asked confused walking behind Clara towards the garage
"Lighting yesterday Yaz. I had to make sure there's no damage on it. Never happened before...Tardis can take a hit, but it's been sitting there for a while"
Yaz looked up as they passed and could have sworn, she saw electrical cables hanging from the bottom.
"What's Tardis?"
Clara didn't answer that leaving Yaz as confused as ever. Later she just assumed it was a pet name or something. She wouldn't put it pass her girlfriend, and that the wires had to be connected to the light on a top and apparently the electrical wiring inside the shed itself. So, Clara was obviously concerned that there was a short circuit, and it could potentially start a fire in the garden or worse. What she still didn't understand was how her girlfriend, who was as thin as a branch, could drag the entire garden house into the garage and suspend it from the ceiling herself. But then there was a determination in Clara, and she would certainly not give up trying.
"Something is wrong with my car" she said as they were loading the fridge
"Oh, what's wrong with it?"
"My door didn't open properly and then shit loads of light came up on my dash each time I passed over a bump on a road"
"I'll have a look" she said casually taking stuff out of the bags
"Babe, you don't have to I'll call my mechanic"
"Why Yaz I certainly know more than your mechanic when it comes cars"
"And that's because cars are your hobby?"
"No Yaz but machines are...and I do have a degree in mechanics. Trust me I'll fix it" she kissed her on confused lips and opened a peanut butter
On a second thought her girlfriend as quirky as she was probably would be able to fix it Yaz though. Nothing surprises her anymore when it comes to her. She'd just seen her repair roof and electronics on a garden shed and all in one day.
"I missed you" Yaz said sliding her hands around Clara's waist and leaning her head on her shoulder blade
"I missed you too beautiful. Had to keep myself busy so I don't think about it too much. Mmmm...that's nice...I could have you there all day" she smiled and put her hand over Yaz's rocking side to side and Yaz kissed her back
"You can have me wherever you want" she said squeezing her harder
"Tempted but I should look at your car before it gets dark" she turned around and held her face placing a kiss on her mouth "Let's go ...oh just a second"
She ran into the living room and opened the glass cabinet taking something out shoving it into her pocket and then took Yaz's hand pulling her to the car
Clara popped the bonnet up and zoomed the sonic around it, Yaz looking confused then opened the door and zoomed again around the dashboard
"Mmmm...I think water went in last night Yaz and fried some electronics" she said reading her sonic
"What's that?"
"Sonic"
"And that's?"
"Ah like a screwdriver...well more than that scans stuff"
"Where did you get that from?"
"I made it" she said and ripping half of her dashboard making Yaz cringe in horror
"You made it?" she asked leaning on a door
"Yea out of spoons" she grins from the car
"You made that out of spoons?"
"Well mostly, and few other bits and pieces"
Yaz shook her head in disbelief "Right because you are..."
"Bighead..." she comes out and kisses her forehead
"So, you are" she laughed
Clara pulled wires out and she was filling with them for quite a bit. Yaz was watching her do it and couldn't help to think she did this quite few times in her life and knew exactly what she was doing. She was pleased she didn't have to call mechanic. Obviously, her girlfriend was a roofer, mechanic, professor, gardener, and God knows what else. But most importantly she was absolutely perfect for her.
"I have a lecture tomorrow morning but only for an hour" she said as spark flew pass her face "Ups" she zoomed a sonic "Right...That should do...Anyway...I should be back before you get up"
"Alright love"
"I like that" she looked up at her passing her a massive smile "Well, I think that's it Yaz" she got up and put the main panel back on then zoomed the sonic over it.
"Why are you zooming that thing over it?"
"Sonic? To close it darling" she gets out of the car and closes the door and the bonnet "Right all done and ready for a test drive"
"I must say I'm impressed" she kissed her cheek "Thank you"
"Thank me later Yasmin" she winks
She didn't want to kiss her cheek. What she wanted really was to kiss her all over. But she settled for that for the time being.
Clara closed the garage door as well and then licked her finger and put up in the air.
"Mmmm...another storm on a way"
Yaz laughed and slipped her hand around her waist "Come on you lovable weirdo. Let's get inside"
Yaz was in a bedroom. That now suddenly became their bedroom. Clara made sure she understood that earlier by explicitly correcting her when she addressed it as Clara's. She also made so much space for in the wardrobe and the dresser that Yaz didn't even know what to do with it. She only packed for a week but there was enough space there for the entire month.
The rain started again just like Clara said and dark clouds covered the sky. Yaz was more than pleased she wasn't working for pass few days considering the weather outside. Also, she hasn't taken a holiday in two years and could do with a brake. She never had a reason to take one either. Going to some nice destination all by herself wasn't appealing and iff she took her sister along they would probably kill each other halfway through anyway.
The rain was falling harder, and she looked through the window at the garden. Wind was blowing harder ruffling the treetops. She was hoping the storm wont damage the car again. Clara said she will empty the garage so they can put it inside just for a case. She also said she needs to do more work on it and how it will be easier in a garage. Now she had a personal mechanic as well as a girlfriend
She finished unpacking had a quick shower and put her pajamas on then headed downstairs finding Clara in her study sitting at the computer.
"Aaaaaa just in time" she pushed the chair back and turned it around. It was one those massive leather office chairs. The study was similar to the living room but had dark blue walls and loads of shelves with even more books on them. Unlike the living room it also had framed photos all around it. Yaz took a look around.
"Who are all those people? Are those your family?"
"Yeah, you could say that...They are all my dearest friends. People I used to travel with. Come here"
She took the invitation and sat in her lap. Draping her arms around Claras shoulders
"Unpacked?"
"Yap"
"It's nice having you here all to myself"
"It's nice being here with you love" she said playing with the hair at the back of neck
"I've been thinking"
"Mmmm?"
"I want us to go somewhere for Christmas. Would you like that? "
"Really?"
"Yeah, I know your family doesn't celebrate so not like you need to be here. But I know you love it"
"Really? And how would you know all that Clara?" she said razing her eyebrow
"Just guessing...Your Muslim so definitely no Christmas. But I also see how your eyes are ginseng each time I mention it"
"You really thought about that a lot, didn't you?"
"I did" she smiles
"I'd go anywhere with you"
"You better because I don't plan to go anywhere without you ever again...Unless I have to...Which I hope I won't not again"
"You silly sod" she smiled leaning her head on hers
"You seem tired Yaz. It was a long day, and you didn't sleep much"
"No, I didn't"
"Come on I think we should dich the movie and just go to bed"
"I'm not complaining" she got up and reached her hand lacing her fingers dragging her up the stairs
"Lie down Yaz I'm just gonna take a quick shower I'm still mucky from Tardis and everything else"
Yaz crawled into bed and listening to rain outside the window. Room was dark with only bathroom light shining over the bed. Clara’s bed was big. Solid wooden frame with quite a tall mattress that reminded Yaz to the bed in Oxford. Then she released how next weekend they are going there again and how this time they will be sharing a room. She was looking forward going again because this time it has a different feel. Light of the bathroom switched off and she felt the bed dipping and then arm around her pulling her across. It surprised her how strong Clara was. Yaz turned around as soon as she felt her behind. She needed her face and to feel as close to her as she could. And as soon as Yaz turned around Clara pulled her across draping her leg over her hip. Yaz figured out it was obviously her thing because this was a second time, she did it. She ran her hand over Clara and released she had no clothes. One more time her brain glitched in complete disbelief that she was in fact sharing a bad with her girlfriend. And that all the walls they had between them are gone.
"You're naked" Yaz giggled
"And you're not...must say a bit disappointed" she scrunches her nose
"You could change that" Yaz tested
Suddenly Clara sat on a bed and in few seconds Yaz was bare to the world. She threw her clothes on the floor and then snuggled back underneath the covers assuming the same position as before.
"Better?" Yaz giggled
"Much" she grinned "I want to feel you. I can only feel you like this here"
"Alright love"
There was a strange sadness behind Clara's eyes when she said that. And Yaz wondered why. But Clara knew too well. She needed her desperately she needed to feel her bare because when she was Clara knew she was hers. It was a part of Yaz she didn't have to share with anyone.
"I spoke with a landlord today" Clara said "He mentioned he wouldn't mind selling the house"
Yaz propped up her head on her arm "So will have to move?"
"No silly...stop panicking...I'm thinking of buying it"
Clara laid on the pillow playing with Yaz's hair that fell over her shoulders moving strain by straight. Then from time to time ran a finger over her collar bone.
"Really? "
"It depends...not sure yet"
"What on a price?"
"No... not on price. I don't wanna buy a house just for myself. No point" she looked straight up into Yaz's eyes silently
"Are you saying what I think you're saying Clara?"
"Only if you want to...we can have that conservatory in spring. It'd be nice"
"Clara...? Are actually asking me to move in?"
"Well, I think I've said it clear enough!"
"OMG...I can't breathe "her chin started to wobble as she just started at Clara who was still was running her finger over her shoulder and then just razed her gaze
"Is that a, yes then? "
"YEES!!!"
"It is?" Clara flashed a massive smile and Yaz rolled her on her back
"It's a fucking big yes you silly woman" she straddles her kissing her whole face
"So, I have you all to myself potty mouth?" she asked between the kisses not able to stop smiling
"You have all of me already darling" Yaz said cupping her face "Every single inch of me"
"I love you Yasmin...more that words can say" she said gazing at her "Well then that's settled. I'm gonna make a call tomorrow. But now I want you all for myself" she laughed kissing her
Clara ran her hands over Yaz's back and over her chest, watching her melt into her touch as her hand trailed from her neck to her stomach, her fingers tracing over her breast. She was a sight to behold, and Clara wanted to keep every second in her soul. As her hips began to move slowly, gently moving over her in a light rhythm. How her mouth opened slightly to let out a soft moan and how she looked at her with half-open eyes when she ran her thumb over her lips. Yaz dragged over Clara, her hands sliding down her body, fingers trailing over her breast as her hips rocked harder.
Clara reached for her hand and pulled her over taking her lips in hers hard and passionate. And wrapping her arms around her. She moved quickly and seamlessly, and just as she laced their fingers together in an almost poetic way, she also had a flawless way of maneuvering Yaz exactly where she wanted her. Flipping her onto her back and draping her leg over her shoulder until she was pressed against her. Bringing them together in a way Yaz didn't think possible. She felt her heat on hers and it went through her skin. And it must have shown on her face because Clara smiled and then kissed her and then began to slowly move her hips trailing on top of her. It felt so amazing that Yaz never wanted to leave. She wrapped her arms around Clara's back and felt her muscles move under her skin, saw her eyes slowly close, her cheeks flush as her hips moved. Yaz could no longer keep her eyes open. She sank into the mattress and captured her lips allowing her to draw the air out of her body...
Clara opened her eyes from time to time watching Yaz's face memorizing every expression watching her reaction as she quickened her pace. She kissed her firm, deep fingers around her face, she wanted her inside her, she wanted her as a part of herself that she would never lose again. Because now she finally had her right there, underneath herself pressed against her. She felt her hand grab her hips pulling her onto herself and her fingers locked at the back of her neck, and she knew she was going to fly. She wanted to see her face when she does, she wanted to see it in her eyes.
"Yaz looked at me," she said softly, and when her dreamy eyes opened drunk with desire, their gaze flew through her soul. "I've been waiting to see you dear...fly for me" Yaz felt herself falling and desperately tried to keep her gaze. Moans escaping her mouth, he kept pulling Clara on herself, wanting more of her. She felt herself float and shake inside, disintegrating beneath her. She couldn't watch anymore and pulled Clara into a kiss letting her swallow her moans as she caught each one. She shook and collapsed into the sheets, wrapping her fingers around Clara's face...
"Don't stop" she dug her fingers into her sides and pulled her to herself, she saw Clara holding on for dear life and she wanted her to let go...and she kissed her deeply until she trembled in her arms. They moved just a little and Yaz made room for her between her legs wrapping her arms around her and holding her the whole time. To feel her breathing, the weight of her pressing her against the mattress. Yaz wanted to fall asleep like this with Clara's head on her shoulder, feeling her hot breath on her neck. And Clara wanted that too, she felt safe, loved, protected from the world in this little universe they had together. She loved this woman more than life itself and now the universe has given her back.
"Don't move" Yaz said and made Clara chuckle
"I don't want to, but my bum is getting cold, and I need a duvet" they both cracked up laughing and Clara moved to grab the duvet that has fallen to the floor. She threw it over herself and then assumed her previous position laying back on top of Yaz covering them over their heads.
"Better?" Yaz laughed
"Much better" she chuckled wiggling her hips
"That was beautiful" Yaz said showering her with kisses across her face.
"I saw it on your face" she laughed "And now your eyes are drifting you can't keep awake"
"No, I can't I'm trying" she smiled
Her body felt like it was made of jelly, and Clara's weight pressing her into the sheets had a comforting effect. One she could easily get used to. She tried desperately to stay awake, but her vision was already blurry, and she heard Clara asking something, but it seemed so far away.
"Sleep away beautiful" Clara kissed her lips and then found a place for herself tucked into her neck.
She herself was on the edge. Usually, Yaz would fall asleep and not even notice when she got up or she would just lie there cuddling her drifting off into her thoughts. But now she was tired, and her eyes were closing and feeling Yaz breathing beneath her lulled her to sleep. The rain was falling hard and pounding against the windows, and then thunder ripped through the sky and Yaz woke up from sleep. But then she realized Clara was still there, her head tucked into her neck, her fingers wrapped around the back of her head.
"Just thunder...I'll protect you" she mumbled into her neck making Yaz giggle. It was silly and cute, and she loved it.
Chapter 6
The loud unusual noise woke up Yaz, but she was too tired to move just yet. Unlike Clara who really didn't need much sleep Yaz was one of those people who could easily sleep throughout the whole day. It was a middle of the week and as the end was approaching, she was getting sad. She loved her job, but she could have done with a longer brake. Then she released she could ask for extra days for moving and that made her extremely happy. She was permanently happy now and it was a new feeling in her life. Something she never had because even when she was happy it would never last for very long.
She made herself get up and only because rolling around the bed that still smelled of Clara meant she missed her and getting up meant seeing her, it also meant kissing her as well. And she missed those lips. It was a sunny day for a change, and she was hoping the last night's storm didn't damage her car again because she promised her mother, she will take shopping for a winter jacket. They also had to pick her sisters birthday present.
She got out of bed and released her hips were a bit sore and that put a cheeky smile on her face because she knew exactly why. She looked through the window and saw the blue box was back in a garden. The storm did quite a damage in a garden, and she knew Clara will want to clear it out. So, she decided to get ready faster and help her out. She felt bad Clara was doing everything by herself and in the end of a day this will be her home from now on as well. And that though completely threw her. From now on she will be waking up in this bed every morning. Their bed, their bedroom.
Clara stood in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil. She was looking out the window at the blue box. She was in it only a few minutes ago and stepping inside was like stepping into another life. She wasn't sure if she missed it because what she had now lit up her soul and she never wanted to lose it. But she wondered how long she would be able to keep this.
Her shadow was still there, but it seemed smaller. Of all the possibilities and outcomes, she never predicted this one. The most she hoped for was that Yaz would get to know her, trust her. But never in a million years would she have thought that she would see her. She never knew something like this would ever happen. She wondered how she would react if she ever told her, and the thought of it scared her because she couldn't bear to lose her. The day will come and eventually she will have to face it. But not today...
Yaz came out carrying two cups of tea and found the garage door opened with her car already inside. All she could see was Clara's legs peaking from underneath the car. The site made her chuckle as the only thing showing was her bare shins and cute boots half laced up.
"Morning sexy" she giggles, and Clara pulls herself out
"Hey sleepy head..." she flashed a smile
"Tea for my favorite mechanic?"
"Aaaaa...How did you know" she got up on her feet and leaned for a kiss "Kiss don't touch...I'm all covered in oil"
"See you've been busy all morning. I didn't hear you leave" she said passing her a mug
"I'm up since six. Came back at ten and started on a car"
"I must say you make me feel extremely productive babe" she giggles kissing her "Thank you love. I need to take my mum shopping today"
"Yaz...you're not going anywhere with that tin can"
"Tin can?? Excuse me missy"
"Tin can Yaz...death trap...I can continue but I don't believe you want me to. Your brakes are in such a state It's a miracle you're still alive, your exhaust has a whole, your braking fluid was on minimum so was oil...and I just started on it...also all the rubbers around the doors are rotten"
"Alright, alright...I get the picture...I'll call my mum"
"No babe you won't"
"Excuse me?"
Clara picked up a set of keys from the table on a side and through it to her "You'll take my car"
"Claraaa...No no... I can't drive your car...No way...You have BMW"
"So?"
"So? If, I prang that it's my whole year's salary are you for real?"
"Yasmin...it's just a car...Just don't hurt yourself that's all I'm asking...Don't worry about the car"
Yaz looked at her in disbelief. She really didn't feel comfortable taking Clara's car at all. And as much as Clara was relaxed about material stuff, she herself would die on a spot if she ever did any damage on it.
Clara sipped her tea walking around the car studding it with her hand in her pocket "Relax Yaz...it's just a car...four wheels some metal and very low-level engineering...seriously overrated and overpriced if you ask me"
Yaz walked over to her and grabbed her face with both hands "You're perfect...you know that?"
"No, I'm not Yaz"
"You're perfect for me" she said kissing her "Right I wanna clear out our garden now" she said cheerfully "I'm meeting my mum at three but don't worry about dinner I'll bring something over"
"Talking about mum Yaz"
"Yes?" she turned around as she was going to get out of the garage
"Ask your parents when it suits them for me to book a table for a meal"
"Really" Yaz frowned suspiciously
Clara was always cleverly avoiding meeting her parents to a point where her mum was seriously questioning if Yaz was making up the whole story about a girlfriend just so that everyone leaves her alone.
"Isn't that what you're supposed to do when you start living together?"
"Yeah, babe it is" she smiled "Alright darling I'll ask"
....
Yaz sat in Clara's car and compared to hers it looked like a spaceship. One thing was being a passenger but now when she had this machine in her hands she was seriously freaking out. Clara quickly showed her what's where and then grinned from the driveway yelling "It's just a primitive piece of metal" which made her laugh all the way to the main road. But then when she was on main road everyone was beeping her for driving too slowly and she was worried she will not get a ticket for fast driving but too slow. She parked a car in front of her building and saw her mum. She beeped and she turned around then ignored her. Then Yaz had to pull down the window and yell.
"Yaz??" Nadja stood on a parking confused
"Yes, mum it's me...come in"
"Whose car is this?" Nadja asked baffled as she sat down next to her
"Clara's and before you say how beautiful it is, know that I'm totally freaking out about driving it. By the way hi mum" she said kissing her on a cheek
"Where's your car?"
"Falling apart in Clara's garage. Water got inside the other day and fried electronics, and today Clara looked at it and gave me a whole list of things that were screwed up on it and called it a death trap. Basically, she won't let me drive it until it's fixed"
"Well, in all fairness Yaz, your dad got you that car ten years ago"
"I know...but I loved that car...It was my car"
"I know honey"
....
"What about this one mum?" Yaz asked showing her a beautiful burgundy winter jacket
"Not bad" Nadja said "You were always better at this than me"
"Thanks mum...no seriously I think the color would really suit you"
"So, are you happy about moving?"
"Yeah..." she answered with a big, massive smile her eyes glistening with love "I still can't believe it mum"
She was walking between the clothing racks gliding her hand over the stacked-up jackets "It all seems so surreal"
"I know baby, but you deserve it. I can't tell you how happy I am for you Yaz" her mum came up and put her palm on her cheek "She really seems lovely"
"Talking about Clara. She wants to know when it's convenient for you and Dad to reserve a table for a meal?"
"Really? We are finally gonna meet her?"
"Yap...you are"
...
Clara didn't want to admit to herself that she felt so empty since Yaz left the house. She's used to being alone most of the time but getting used to something and loving it are two different things. Being alone was an inevitable part of her life that she always tried to avoid at all costs. She used the time to do some repairs to the Tardis hoping Yaz wouldn't return in the meantime. She also called her lawyer and landlord about buying the house. She was excited about the house. And prospect of what that meant for her and Yaz. Having a real house was something she always thought about. It was an abstract thing that she had never had in her life, and like a little child who finally got her own room, she felt warmth around her hearts. The past few weeks had felt like a hurricane in her life, and that was exceptional when it came to Clara because her life was more like a cosmic storm of epic proportions. But deep down she was more scared than she wanted to admit. Everything was so fragile, and it seemed like it could shatter into tiny pieces right before her eyes, but she was determined that this time she would do anything to prevent that from happening. It didn't matter to her what it would take because she promised a long time ago that she would be brave.
Yaz was fragile, battered by life, she could see it in her eyes even when they smiled. But all her bruises made her strong, and what was more important never made her bitter. There was no anger or resentment in Yaz's heart. She surrendered to her, completely opened up to her, completely revealed herself to her utterly. Clara valued every bit of it and never wanted to betray it. It was the most precious gift life could give her and she wasn't about to lose it again.
She jumped of the floor when she heard the car parking in front of the house and left the mug on the counter to rush to the door.
Yaz was relieved when she parked. She came out and opened the booth.
"Hey love!" Yaz smiled when the door opened up
"Don't no, I will" she ran towards the car to take the shopping bags "Had a nice time?"
"Yes, I got some dinner, and I bought you custard creams"
"You have? ...Did I tell you are my favorite person in the world?" she kissed her temple and took the bags
"I always knew I could buy you with a biscuit" she laughed
"Ah...you can with your biscuit Yaz" she turned around razing her eyebrow and licking her lips
"You silly sod" Yaz couldn't help but blush Clara totally nailed her with that one, she also never saw her pull that face before, and it was wicked and sexy
"See, told you won't prang the car" she made a smug face walking into the house
"Oh god...I tell what I bloody need a shower after that. I was sweating driving it"
"Told you...you worry too much Yaz" she grabs her by the waist swinging her on top of the counter "I missed ya"
Clara looked at her cheeky under the eye trailing fingers down her legs. And as soon as she touched her Yaz felt herself turning into jelly.
"I missed you too" she lifted her head with a finger "More than I could bare"
Clara kissed her hard giving her a whiplash.
Yaz felt how much she missed her in her kiss as it seemed as if she will consume her. She hooked her fingers into her trousers pulling her and wrapped her legs around her. Clara made a mess of her hair in seconds. She moaned into her mouth with each kiss and dragged her hands over her breast "Can I have you?" she asked breathlessly
"I thought you'd never ask" Yaz smiled draping her hands over her shoulders
"Bedroom?"
"Or here?" Yaz raised an eyebrow
"Yasmin Khan" she said surprised
"What? Tell me you never thought of that?" she smiled cheeky
Clara's lip twitched, she knew very well that she did and more than she wanted to admit. She pulled Yaz in for a kiss. Yaz tightened her legs around her and wrapped her arms around her shoulders. It was amazing to feel her after a whole day. She missed her touch, missed her smell.
Clara's lips traced her neck. She lowered her to the floor and turned her around pressing her against the counter trailing hands down her sides and over her stomach
"Fuck I love you so much" Yaz moaned into the air
"I want you so much" she whispered kissing her earlobe and ran her hand between her thighs over her jeans. Yaz whimpered her legs gave away for a second and she had to grab the counter. Clever fingers tackled her trousers, and few moves she was bare from the waist down. Clara slinging everything across the kitchen floor. She nudged her legs open with her boot and slipped her arm around her waist, the other one between her thighs stroking her slowly. Yaz was popping, and if Clara doesn't do something soon she knew she would be a goner before she even started
"Clara...I can't please"
"What Yasmin?" she asked cheeky Yaz who was holding on to dear life.
"Have me...take me...whatever just fucking do it"
Clara couldn't help but chuckle. "You really have a dirty mouth on you Yaz" She turned her head and kissed her hard. Yaz whimpered into her mouth as her fingers ran through her, she turned her around and draped her leg to her side holding her tight, Yaz's back hit the cold counter, she grabbed the back of Clara's neck crushing her lips into hers.
"Look at me, Yaz," Clara said softly, almost motionless, brown eyes looking back at her "I want to see you love" she said sliding into her watching her close them as she felt her inside watching her falling apart underneath her as she started to move inside her.
She never took her like that, hard, raw and passionate. Moving her hips with each passing trailing lips over her neck and swallowing her every whimper. There was fire burning behind Clara's eyes and it was melting Yaz to pieces.
She slumped her head on her shoulder and dug her nails into Clara's forearm shuddering slumping into her arms on wobbly legs.
Clara kissed the side of her head and let go of her leg, but Yaz couldn't stand. She scooped her up and carried her upstairs.
"You missed me so much?" Yaz smiled sleepy an exhausted
"Did you ever doubt that?" Clara smiled kissing her.
"I need a shower" Yaz laughed "If I can walk to it"
"I'll carry you" Clara chuckled running lazy circles on her stomach and kissed her shoulder "Go make yourself prim and proper and I'll put the food on"
"Mmmm...cooking for me?"
"Don't get too excited it's just one of those u stick in the oven" she laughed
"Love ya" Yaz looked at her with a massive smile
"I adore you" she kissed her and got up dragging her by the hand over the bed to get up
"Come on you...get a shift on I'm starving now"
The food smelled lovely when Yaz came out of the bathroom. She kept thinking how her parents would soon meet Clara. It was an unusual feeling because for the first time in her life she acutely had someone. She had been looking forward to it for a long time, but now that she would actually meet them in just a few days, she became nervous. Her mother was excited after weeks of questioning and probing her about Clara, and her dad said he was finally going to meet her wife. Sonya was her usual self and just wanted to see what Clara looked like and if she was really beautiful. Yaz considered herself extremely lucky to have a loving family that accepted her and loved her for exactly who she was, and she could allow herself to be vulnerable and exposed in front of them. She lost count of the number of times her mom sat up late at night with her while she cried into her pillow over a broken heart and kept telling her that right now there was someone under this sky who breathed the same air as her, who was born just for her, and how right know maybe they feel exactly like her.
Those words always comforted her and sometimes she would look up at the sky and imagine that she was sending a message to that someone about where she was and how to find her. As it happens her mother was right, and they were there. And that person was right now downstairs in the kitchen preparing the most loving microwave dinner for her. She put on pajamas and a soft pink dressing gown over it.
"Hey darling" she smiled, and Clara turned over her shoulder
"Yaz, you look like a cute fluffy marshmallow...I could just eat you right now"
"Don't say that twice please" she laughed "That smells nice" she came up behind her hugging her around the waist and rubbing her face at her back
"Tired?"
"Mmmm...And mushy"
"I like you mushy"
Clara was putting food on the plates. By this point there were both so hungry they could easily eat the plates as well. Clara was working hard the whole day and Yaz knew she hasn't eaten anything except probably a bunch of sugary stuff as usual.
"Kitchen or living room?" she asked holding the plates
"Definitely living room" Yaz said and went to the fridge to get the juice
"I spoke with the landlord and my lawyer today"
"You have?"
"Yeah...I made an offer for the house" she turned around and smiled
"OMG so it's happening?"
"Start believing. By the way you did a good job on a garden, but I saw some broken branches on the tree I'm gonna have to cut that off tomorrow"
They sat on the floor around the coffee table like they did almost every evening. Yaz loved those evenings the most. They will always remind her of the time before when she would come over tiered from her work and enjoyed in cuddling on a sofa.
"I have to pack us tomorrow. You need to tell me what you want to take" Yaz said digging into her food "Mmmmm....oh god I needed this. Thanks for cooking babe I really appreciate it"
"Yaz, you don't need to do that darling. I don't expect you to. I'm perfectly capable of packing myself"
"I have no doubt in that, but I would like to. You take care of me in so many ways I want to do something for you as well"
"You do do things for me Yaz. You cleaned up the house the other day. Now that's a huge change for me"
Clara was finished with her food in few minutes and sitting on a floor, legs crossed "Yaz?"
"Mmmm?"
"Tell me something honestly"
"What darling?"
"Are you happy with your job?"
"Mmmm...mostly yes...I just wish...I dunno...they give me something more challenging, you know...something that would test me. I'm fed up with traffic disputes"
"Mmm...Did you choose a movie?"
"Yap"
Yaz chose Highlander, the classic she loved watching years ago. She wasn't sure Clara was thrilled with her choice, but it was her night to choose a movie, so she went along with it.
"Why do you like it so much?" Clara asked halfway through the movie
"I think it's so romantic. How he loved her so much even when she got old, it's beautiful, and he never forgot her, kept caring her in his heart for centuries. I mean, could you imagine living for so long? And everything around you fade away whiles you keep going. It's heartbreaking"
Clara was swallowing marbles by this point and regretted even asking a question. She just hugged her tightly and placed a deep kiss on top of head.
Yaz was drifting off again through the movie. Clara's fingers slowly brushing through her hair and rhythm of her heart that was always so loud was lulling her to sleep. She played with her fingers then released that the cut on her hand from earlier that day when she was fixing the car was gone. And there remained only a thin line that was hardly visible anymore. But she was drifting away her eyes closing until she fell asleep. Clara scooped her up at some point and carried her upstairs
Chapter 7
Yaz was in their bedroom packing suitcases for tomorrow's trip when she heard the doorbell ring and then Clara's voice talking to someone. But the bedroom window faced the garden, so she had no idea what was going on and continued to pack the bags. She was arranging Clara's clothes and thought how she was looking forward to seeing her dressed in them again. She was always in boots and cut-off trousers around the house and looked adorable, but when she was all dressed up, she looked amazing and extremely attractive.
Yesterday she also mentioned how she was taking her on a romantic date because it will be exactly one month since they were together.
But to Yaz, it didn't seem like a month, more like years or decades. They were as comfortable with each other as if they had already lived a lifetime together.
Clara also told her this morning that she had reserved a table for Tuesday night. It was at a wonderful Pakistani restaurant, one of her parents' favorites. Her mom was beside herself and said she bought herself a new dress and how she was making her dad wear a tie which made Yaz laugh because she knew her girlfriend would also come in a suit with braces and a tie, but her parents didn't know that, and she was dying to see their faces.
"Yaz" she heard Clara shouting running up the stairs
"What? What's going on?" Yaz turned around worried
Clara scrunched up her face confused "Nothing...why would anything be wrong? .... But I do have something to show you" she flashed a smile and grabbed Yaz's hand literally dragging her out of the room "Come on"
"What's going on? Why are you pulling me like that?"
"All in good time Yasmin Khan...all in good time" she said and then stopped in front of the door covering her eyes with her palm "Don't look...no peaking"
"Clara you silly woman.... what are you doing?" Yaz giggled as she was leading her outside
She moved her hand with a massive grin on her face "You like it?"
There was a red MINI Cooper parked up in front of the house. And Yaz frowned utterly confused?
"You bought a car?"
"Aha" she nods grinning
"But you have a car?"
"Do you like it?" Clara asked circling the car
"I love it"
"Good then...because it's yours Yasmin" she threw keys to her and Yaz caught them completely confused
"You're joking right?"
"I would never Yaz"
"You got me a car? This car...for me?"
"I couldn't let you drive that death trap Yaz...You'd have me regenerate from worrying...and I got a good deal...Had to bargain a bit it was way overpriced...."
Yaz ran around the car and threw herself on her wrapping her legs around her
"Inside...inside...Blimey Yaz it's just a car" Clara laughed over her outburst of affection and put her back on a ground kissing her forehead
"I love you so fucking much...and you're crazy you know that"
"Wanna test it?" she grins
"Can I?"
"Of course, you can it's yours"
It was evening and Yaz was finishing dinner eagerly waiting Clara to come back from university. She told Yaz that she might be late because they have a meeting she has to attend. As of this weekend, her vacation is over as well, and they will both have to get used to a new routine. Yaz had a busy week ahead of her and every day after work she would have to go to her parents to pack. Technically she could have done it already when she was free, which would probably have been the smarter option, but this was the week she promised Clara, she'd have her all to herself.
Her heart jumped when she heard the car pulling up and she ran to the door.
"Hey lovely" Clara said walking out of the car
Yaz was already at the driveway. Clara draped her arm around her shoulder kissing her temple
"Hi love...I missed you" Yaz said squeezing her around the waist "Hungry?"
"Missed you too...Starving...It's so nice to come from work and have you here Yaz. I was alone for far too long"
"You and me both babe...eat now then take a shower...I know you want to"
"Might do Yaz...just might do" she walked into the kitchen and shoved her face into the pot to see what's in it "Mmmmm...That looks lovely"
"Nannies recipe" she said proudly
"Wanna hear the news?"
"Shoot" she said taking the plates out
"Landlord accepted my offer for the house"
"OMG...you're making me soppy now" she came up and hugged her laying her head on her chest
"Yap...so it won't be long now Yaz" she kissed her head
They took the plates and moved into the living room
"You know that spare room next to the bedroom"
"Mmm?"
"Could you find some nice wardrobes...something...anything really...we will need extra space now when you move in. It can be like walk in closet...I wish I could just add and remove rooms...I really miss that"
Yaz laughed as her silly comments that now just became a part of her personality "Alright babe...Don't you want us to do it together?"
"Neah...I trust you...besides it will make you feel more like it's your home Yaz"
"That's really sweet you know...And you are right it will...I never had to buy furniture before.... Babe"
"What?"
"I hate to bring this up, but we need to talk about money"
"Money Yaz?" she looked at her confused
"Yes, money babe...I will be living here with you"
"I don't understand Yaz. What's that to do with money?"
"A lot...like I can't just live here and not pay for things...you know bills...things like that"
"I've got money Yaz I don't need yours" she looked up scrunching her face
"I know you do but I want to give it...you know willingly"
"Don't be silly Yaz...I would never take your money...I hate money anyway...It's just a bunch of paper and metal...I never understood the obsession"
She looked up and released Yaz was just sitting looking back at her in silence "Yaz why are you not eating?"
"Clara I..." Yaz sighed. She was worried where this conversation was going "look this is really nice...in fact it wonderful of you. But you know I worked all my life and I'm proud of it. I know I don't earn as much as you do...but I want to feel like I'm...you know...participating...It means a lot to me. I would never expect from you to support me"
"I know that Yaz" she got up and reached for her hand and hugged her around the waist
"Alright...I'll tell you what...I don't want you feeling like this, so I'll take it"
"You will?"
"Shhhh...I will...but only under one condition"
"Listening"
"...and that is that I keep that money for anything that we need for this house. Whatever...duvet, pillow, fork, spoon, rubber duck" she scrunched her face "Mmm I always wanted a rubber duck. See you can buy that"
"Deal" she smiled "Thank you" she said kissing her
"I still think is silly...Tardis can make plenty. Can you please eat now"
"Yes"
Yaz smiled and continued eating her dinner every so often glancing at Clara and smiling. It was a tense conversation and at one point she seriously thought it will escalate into an argument, but she was happy they resolved it.
"Happy now?"
"Yes...very happy"
"Good....Because I would hate if you wouldn't be Yaz"
"Love ya" Yaz said beaming
Clara still found the whole thing unnecessary and way to complicated but she just shook her head smiling "I love you too"
In the end of a day, she wanted Yaz to be happy. But in her mind her value wasn't in money she was making. It was in who she was as a person.
Chapter 8
Yaz woke up and heard voices from downstairs. She was confused because they were going on trip today and Clara hadn't said anything about anyone coming over. She got herself ready and came down to the kitchen where a woman stood by the counter talking to Clara.
"Yaz you're up?" Clara said looking over the woman's shoulder and the lady turned around
"Hello" Yaz said
"Yaz meet Kate Stewart one of my oldest friends"
"Yaz it's nice to meet too finally. I've heard a lot about you"
"Have you?" she smiled looking at Clara "Nice to meet you I'm Yasmin Khan...Yaz"
"Well, I must go...and you need to get on a road as well, the weather doesn't look good today.
I won't hold you up. It was nice meeting you Yasmin Khan"
"It was nice meeting you as well Kate"
Clara escorted her outside the house and Yaz stayed in a kitchen making herself breakfast.
"So, do you plan on telling her Doctor?"
"Not sure Kate...I want to...should do...I was planning to...but..." she walked slowly hands in her pockets
"But now you're not sure if you want to?"
"This is it Kate...I'm not sure what's the right thing to do...I just want to"
"Keep her safe?"
"Yes"
"How are you, Doctor? ...House? ...Saw Tardis in a garden" she laughed
"Neah...just a tool shed Kate" she laughed
"Right" she smiled "I hope you found your happiness. I really do"
"I hope so too Kate"
"Well...now I really need to go, and you as well. Thanks for that by the way"
"Any time"
"I hope I see you again Doctor"
"You will" she smiles
....
"Hey babe...want some?" Yaz offered some crumpets with jam and kissed her "Morning sexy" she smiled eyes filled with love
"Morning beautiful...Yes please.... I haven't had breakfast yet"
"Where do you know Kate from?" she asked passing her a plate
"Work...long story Yaz...we know each other for many years...Used to know her father"
"She seems nice"
"She is nice...I always liked Kate"
"Did you now?"
"Yasmin Khan!!!...That is so not what I meant" she jumped almost offended
Yaz razed her eyebrows smirking "Mmmm...if you say so" she takes a bite and walks over to pour herself a tea
"Right...I'll get changed"
"Alright darling" she laughs "Got ya"
...
Clara came down to kitchen already to go. Hair neatly straightened, white shirt and black trousers with braces. Yaz felt her jaw drop to the kitchen floor. Suddenly she felt urge to go back to the bedroom but unfortunately today she was condemned to a slow burn torture of gazing at her girlfriend looking amazingly sexy all the way till the evening.
"Lord have mercy on me" Yaz commented literally drooling
Clara passed by her giving her slow kiss "Hold that though till we get to the hotel" she grinned into her face and tapped her nose
"That's just not fair" Yaz moaned shaking her head
"It's just two bags, right?" Clara asked putting her coat on.
"Yap...ready?"
"Yeah...let's go...oh I parked your car in a garage because there's gonna be another storm tonight"
"OMG not another one...Thank you babe"
...
"Exited?" Clara asked as they got on a highway
"Yeah...really excited" she smiled beaming
Halfway into the trip Yaz was struggling to keep awake again and Clara just smiled glancing over at her as her head kept falling down. It reminded her of their first trip.
"Yaz, you can't keep your eyes open darling. Sleep I don't mind"
"Really? ...I'm so sorry I feel so bad"
"No, don't be silly...come on sleep. I will stop off somewhere anyway. I'm getting hungry"
"Alright. Love ya"
"Love you too" she smiled and turned the heating up a bit.
Clara looked up at the sky and it didn't look good at all. She was hoping for good weather, but it looks like they were out of luck. As Yaz slept and the music played softly on the radio, she was lost in her thoughts.
Last night she had trouble sleeping, her mind was racing. She would still wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. Spent over an hour just watching Yaz sleep and every now and then ran her finger over her sweet cheeks pressed into the pillow. She wondered what she was dreaming of looking so calm and happy. She also wondered what their future was like.
Heavy rain began to fall, hitting her windshield, making it difficult to drive, and she still had a long way to go to the nearest pub. She clenched her jaw and gripped the wheel, then quickly glanced sideways at the sleeping Yaz, making sure her seatbelt was in place. The rain was getting stronger, and she knew she would have to pull over if it got any stronger. She was a good driver but holding the steering wheel will always feel weird. And having to drive for hours to get to her destination was something she would never get used to. Or maybe this time she will. This was her life now, the life she wanted, the life she had consciously chosen. And enjoyed every minute of it for the past month. But a month seemed like a second, and this Yaz would never understand that. There was so much she wanted to tell her, to share with her, and yet she couldn't. She struggled with driving as the rain slowly turned into hail slamming against the car.
"Clara!! What's going on?" Yaz woke up from the sound still disorientated from her sleep
"It's ok darling, just hail...I will pull over soon" she moved one hand from the wheel for a moment and stroke her leg "Don't worry"
"OMG this will damage your car"
"I don't care about the car I need to get us of this road. Hey, I'm good pilot don't worry...been doing this for centuries" she smiled at Yaz who giggled as usual taking her remarks as a quirky sense of humor
Yaz's phone rang. It was hooked up to the dashboard and Clara put it on a loudspeaker
"Yaz darling where are you?"
"Hy mum we are on the road"
"Yaz honey I'm looking at the weather report I'm really worried you're literally going through the storm. What's that sound."
"It's hailing mum"
"OMG Yaz please be careful...are you driving?"
"No mum Clara is"
"Hello, Yaz's mum" Clara said suddenly
"Oh, hello Clara" she said surprised
"Don't worry Yaz's mum I got this. We are exactly 2 min and 35 seconds from the nearest pub by this speed give or take and this car can take some bashing"
"Oh, ok but please girls call me when you stop"
"Promise it won't be long" Clara said
"Don't worry mum we will call you"
"Alright sweetheart bye"
"She's worried" Yaz said looking at Clara
"Of course, she is, look at this...Where's my artron energy when I need it"
Yaz giggled "You're so silly you know that"
"Aaaaa...here we go...See Yaz I was right...We can have some nice food until this calms down I'm starving...You hungry?"
"Starving"
Clara pulled over and dialed the number
"Hello"
"Hi mum...we stopped by the pub don't worry"
"Thank god. Alright sweetheart thanks for letting me know"
"Bye mum"
"You alright sleepy head?" Clara asked as soon as she parked and switched off the engine "Had a nice nap" she moved hair from her cheek
"Mmmm...I did actually"
"I love your face when you wake up" she leaned over and kissed her softly "You look adorable...Come on...foood"
"Yes, food and toilet or my bladder will pop out of my eyes"
Clara chuckled "Well that would be inconvenient not to mention painful" she reached umbrella from the back seat
The pub was warm and quiet, only few people in it. Yaz zoomed straight to the toilet. The weather was raging outside and the man at the bar offered Clara to park the car at the back underneath the roof, so it doesn't get damaged.
"You are very kind man. Thank you so much" she said as she came back inside.
Her hair curled up from the rain and her beautiful trousers were all wet. Yaz was getting worried she's going to get ill if she doesn't dry up soon.
"Babe, do you want me to get the suitcase so you can change? You're all wet?"
"No Yaz don't worry about it I'll dry out here"
"I just don't want you getting ill that's all"
"I very really get ill Yaz"
They spent nearly 2 hours in a pub before the weather finally calmed down so they can get back on the road. It meant Clara was going to be late for her lecture, so she spent most time on a phone sorting it out.
They finally came to the hotel and into their room. Clara ran around frantically, practically stripping at the door, threw her coat on the bed and pulled her braces off unbuttoning her shirt with one hand whilst digging through the suitcase taking fresh one out.
Yaz sat on the edge of the bed studding her moves. She could have sworn that Clara knew, but ignored it because deep down she loved it, sometimes, like now, she would look up for a second and wink at Yaz or give her a brief smile.
Clara's body language was something she absolutely adored and often found herself studying her every move. How she hooked her fingers on the edge of her braces or craned her neck looking at the floor when her hands were in her pockets, or how she would bring her hands to her forehead when she was frustrated, when she would turn on her heel zooming around a bar and always wrap her fingers around Yaz's face before kissing her. Something in her body language whispered to Yaz's heart.
Clara pulled on her coat and adjusted the lapels, then lifted Yaz's head with her finger kissing gently "I won't be long I promise..."
The door closed and Yaz was left alone. It started to rain outside. Dark clouds hug the sky. She took a shower to warm up then changed into her pajamas that felt comfortable and started unpacking. She closed the empty suitcase and pulled it off the bed as a small black notebook fell to the floor. She saw Clara's handwriting and a bunch of strange circular symbols all over the page. She had never touched Clara's things, but this was so unusual that she couldn't help but look. She flipped through the pages and saw that the entire notebook was filled with them. A knock on a door shook her and she laid the book on a bed.
"Yes?"
"Room services mam"
"I haven't ordered any"
"Your wife did mam"
Yaz stopped confused and smiled "Wife? Ok"
She opened the door, and the lady was holding a tray with hot tea and a cake. Also, a beautiful red rose.
"Thank you so much" Yaz said smiling and let the lady put it on a table
"Enjoy mam"
"Thank you" she smiled and closed the door. When she looked at the tray, she released there was a note on it as well.
"I miss you already. Always yours C. xx"
She kissed the note and placed it on the mirror. When she finished her tea, she laid on a bed and continued to turn the pages. And she came to a beautiful drawing of hills and trees, then another one of the beach, there were more, mostly landscapes, but the next one left her speechless. It was a beautiful drawing of her, just her face and a line written at the bottom of the page "I will be brave" She ran her fingers over it and remembered that night on their first date when Clara said she wasn't brave.
When Clara returned, she found Yaz sleeping curled up on a bed with a little notebook underneath her hand opened on a page with the drawing. Clara slowly pulled it out from underneath and laid it on a side table. Then pulled the covers over her.
She took her coat off and opened the wardrobe, it made smile seeing how Yaz neatly hang all the clothes and color coded them as well. She unbuttoned her shirt and removed the cufflinks placing them on a table. Then saw the note stuck on a mirror and smiled from the corner of her lip, seeing little bit if lipstick on it made her hearts warm and she unbuttoned her trousers letting them slip down her thighs then just stepped out of them walking into the bathroom. Yaz was still sleeping and just moaned a little turning on the other side at the sound of the shower. Clara stood bare in front of the mirror. Hazel eyes looking back at her, they were not as tired as they were last time she was here. And her mind was little bit calmer. Or so she thought it was. Either way one thing was different, and it was a woman sleeping in her bed.
There was a strange poetry in a name she picked for herself "Run clever boy". And she was, from everything she was and everything she's ever been. And she was fine with that as long she doesn't run into the wall...
Yaz woke up and felt Clara pressed on her back breathing into her neck. She was wrapped around her neatly, slotted into her perfectly. Yaz wouldn't move, it was cozy and beautiful. Rain was still falling and normally she would be sick off it by now. But the sound of rain tapping against the windows in dark room with her beautiful lover wrapped around her body felt romantic.
"Mmmm...I could have you like this forever" Clara mumbled into her neck slipping her hand underneath Yaz's top.
"I was just thinking the same about you" she wiggled and turned around "You're naked" she smiled cheeky
"And you're again not and I'm having to fight layers to reach you" she scrunched her face "totally not fair"
Yaz giggled giving her a shot kiss then wiggled underneath the covers laughing and pulled out her bottoms throwing them on the floor, then wiggled again and pulled her panties out winking at Clara and threw them across the room and finally took her top off as well before snuggling against her.
"Better?"
"Much better...perfect really" she said between loads of short kisses and rolled her on top of herself
"I missed you so much" Yaz said stroking her hair tucking it behind her ear
"I missed you too...I couldn't wait to get back to the hotel"
"Thank you for the tray...and that note just made me soppy"
"Mmmm" she scrunches her nose "What can I say I'm a romantic"
"And a charmer, first class I must say" she giggled running her hand over her under the covers
"Always a gentleman Yaz"
"Darling what's that book? And what's that language? Sorry I went through it...I didn't mean to snoop around your things it fell out of your bag"
"I didn't think you were Yaz...snooping" she smiled and gazed at her for quite some time gently brushing her finger over her cheek before she continued to talk. And Yaz couldn't help but notice the dreamy gaze she gave her, looking like she's getting lost in her thoughts
"And how do you know that's a language Yasmin" she kisses her nose gently trailing her hand down her spine.
"I've seen it before...but I can't remember where...I just know that it is. I wasn't really genius for history"
"It's Gallifreyan" Clara said
"Never heard of it...but then you're a Bighead...The pictures are stunning"
"It's like a diary...you know...where I put my thoughts and memories, so I don't forget"
"Oh, sorry I didn't know...Now it makes sense...nobody can read it...like me for example" she laughed
"I love you...so much" she continued trailing her hand down Yaz's back and lower she went it was making Yaz's mouth go dry. She wanted to know more but she was finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate on a conversation. She captured her lips kissing her slow, gentle, and passionate trailing her hands all over her.
"Can I have you, my love?" she smiled cheeky, and Clara wraps her fingers around her face "Any time Yasmin Khan" she kisses her deeply....
...
The weather continued to be horrendous, but they didn't mind spending most of the afternoon in a bed. Then when it came evening the rain finally stopped and they were getting ready for a meal. Clara was taking her some place special and Yaz had just the right dress for it.
"Darling...can you close my dress please?" Yaz said standing in front of the mirror in a gorgeous copper dress covered in sequence. Her nanny had it made for her out of the old silk she had since she was a younger and Yaz wanted it to reflect her heritage, so it looked like a modern version of a Shalwar kameez. She's never worn it before, and she thought their anniversary was an appropriate time to finally put it on.
"Yaz..." Clara stopped frozen as she came out of the bathroom "You look...amazing Yaz"
"And so do you love" she smiled looking over her shoulder
Clara came up behind her and moved her hair from her back kissing her shoulders. "You're so beautiful" she whispered in her ear closing her dress
"So are you love" she said turning around "...stunning"
"Neah..." she scrunched her nose "But I'm glad you think so"
Yaz fixed her tie and gave her a small kiss "You know...when I first saw you, it felt like I found a part of myself that I've lost. You always felt that way to me, like home. Does that make any sense?"
Clara gazed at her as she was saying it and running hands over her lapels. Her words ran through her soul. She put a finger underneath her chin razing her gaze "More than you could possibly know...I really love you Yasmin"
"I really love you too. With all my heart"
They kissed softly and smiling getting lost in each other's gaze. "We should go before they close the kitchen" Clara laughed then draped Yaz's coat over her shoulders and reached for her hand lacing fingers together "And that would be really embarrassing...not to mention we would stay hungry"
"I'm starving"
"Me too...oh they have beautiful food Yaz...and music...did I mention music?" she rambled all the way to the elevator
"No, you haven't. Are we going with a car?"
"Yes definitely. Not having you freezing in that beautiful dress Yaz"
...
"What?" Clara said putting a napkin on the table
"Nothing..." Yaz smiled lovingly "This is beautiful. You really thought about it didn't you?"
"Not a bad date, am I?" she winks smug
"No... not at all...charmer"
Clara reached into her pocket and slid a small box across the table "Happy anniversary darling"
"Oh, noo...why now? This is embarrassing mine is in a hotel"
"It's fine...just open it"
Yaz opened a box and her chin started to wobble. Small pair of earrings in a shape of a heart.
"Don't cry...it was supposed to make you smile. I know you like your earrings...you got loads...it's also where I always kiss you"
"They are beautiful...Your heart and mine" she smiled "I want to kiss you now"
"I want to dance with you now...and the other but that will have to wait" she got up reaching for her hand
Yaz wasn't much of a slow dancer, but Clara definitely was. So, she let her take the lead gliding her across the floor slowly. Her hand around her waist gave Yaz shivers. But they were in public, so she really had to control herself. Also, her lips would her really close and it was way too tempting to just take them into hers.
"Thank you for this. I never had this before" Yaz said quietly
"You know what I said earlier about not being a bad date?" she swings her across the floor then pulled her in again "Well, dates are not something I really do, you know. I mean, I used to. Have done. And if I was going to ever again it was definitely gonna be with you...I'm glad that I did...because it would've been definitely mistake if I hadn't" she smiled and pressed her closer leaning into her ear
"I think you're one of the greatest people I've ever known. And I love you Yaz...always have done and always will"
Yaz's eyes filled with tears, she strokes the back of her neck thinking of what words she could possibly use at this moment that would top what she had just told her, and she couldn't find any. So, she just brought her head closer and whispered "I don't know what I ever did in my life to deserve you"
"Nothing Yaz...you just had to be born that's all" her silly comment made Yaz laugh. Only Clara could come up with something as silly after all of that.
"Wanna go back? I'm dying to kiss you" Clara whispered into her ear
"I thought you'd never ask...I'm holding on to dear life here"
Clara chuckled and led her back to their table. They put their coats on and were about to leave the restaurant when a man's voice stopped them at the door.
"Doctor!"
Clara turned around "Yes?"
"I thought that was you, but I wasn't sure and didn't want to intrude on you. How lovely to see you again"
"Lovely to see you too professor"
"Yasmin Khan, lovely to see you too again, it's been a while"
Yaz shook the man's hand utterly confused. She's never seen him in her life and kept rolling back in her head the last time when she was in Oxford at the lecture.
"So how long have you been here? We didn't expect to see you anymore Doctor, I'm glad you changed your mind" the man kept rambling on and Yaz could see on Clara's face she wasn't impressed the least and was waiting for a moment to cut the conversation short
"Oh, yes...well you know me...Lots going on all the time...Wasn't planning it...I don't like plans...Anyway we are in a bit of rush so..."
"Oh, yes of course. Well, it was nice seeing Doctor and you Yaz"
"Likewise...Good night" she pulled Yaz's hand and rushed out of the restaurant
"Who was that?"
"One of the professors Yaz from the University"
"How does he know me? I've never seen him before"
"Probably from the lecture Yaz"
Her explanation didn't sit with Yaz. Because he was clearly surprised to see her at all. But then she thought maybe something happened at her work during those three weeks that she wasn't aware of. Maybe Clara was going to abandon the lectures and changed her mind. They didn't discuss her work much. In fact, they didn't discuss it at all. Clara wasn't bringing it up hardly ever and Yaz never asked much. They were just getting to know each other at that time, and she didn't want to poke around Clara's private life unless she willingly shared it. And that was fine with Yaz because as a police officer she also couldn't share much either.
Clara hasn't said much in a car on a way back to the hotel. Just placed her hand on Yaz's leg stroking it and gave her a smile.
"You alright darling?" Yaz asked concerned
"Yeah...why wouldn't I be love"
"You're just very quiet. Is something bothering you?"
"Noo...no absolutely not Yaz...just many thoughts that's all...a bit of a head wonk. Sorry"
"It's fine...no need to say sorry babe. It's just..."
"What beautiful?"
"You know you can speak to me...about anything"
Clara clenched her jaw and grip the wheel
"Whatever you know.... may bother you or...I'm always here for you. We're in this together love"
"I know Yaz..." she strokes her leg again and looked at her shortly "Love ya" she gives her a big goofy smile
"Love you too silly"
They arrived at the hotel and walked down the hallway. Clara strokes her hand with her thumb all the way to the room. And when they came close Yaz tugged her hand
"What?" Clara looked confused and Yaz gave her cheeky smile
"Kiss me"
"Yasmin Khan" she smiled remembering their first kiss right there on that spot and brought her hand to her lips kissing her knuckles
"If, you want too?" Yaz said quietly and Clara pulled her by the hand pressing her against herself.
"Might do Yasmin...just might do more than just kiss you" she wrapped her fingers around her face and kissed her as passionately as that night. Slowly, deeply sucking the air out of her lungs and taking her to the stars.
"I think we should go to our room now" she whispered into her lips
"Mmmm...I think so too" Yaz smiled
Chapter 9
Yaz's nails dug into the headboard, her cheeks flushed, her hair clinging to her face until Clara's hand moved it away and she brushed her lips over her earlobe, pressing against her back.
"Fly for me," she whispered, wrapping her fingers around her neck, then picked up a pace and Yaz was about to scream into the air, but they were in a hotel room, so instead she covered her mouth and craned her neck. Then Clara's fingernails trailed down her spine she was gone, shuddered, disintegrating completely. She felt Clara pull her hips back and lean her against herself. She pulled her apart completely, reducing her to a floppy mess that fell into her lap. She kissed her shoulder her hands wrapped around her "I really fuckin love you" Yaz said breathlessly smiling
"I adore you potty mouth" she smiled
She dragged her like a rag doll over the bed and lay down behind her, covering them both with a duvet. Yaz desperately needed a shower, but she couldn't stand on her feet. So, she will have to wait until her soul returns to her body.
What Clara was capable of doing to her, Yaz felt she could only hope she would be able to do to her. But she was competing against someone who seemed to know every inch of her and read her body like an open book.
Clara ran lazy lines down her stomach and kissed her shoulder
"Teach me" Yaz said
"Teach you what darling?"
"Everything you know...this how you take me...I want to give that to you. I want you to feel when you're with me like I feel when I'm with you...like you touch the stars"
Clara was taken back for a moment then turned her to her back. Yaz gazing at her with those beautiful brown eyes filled with love. She brought her hand up to her face brushing finger over her cheek "Yaz you know first time we were together?"
"Mmm...?"
"Darling...I flew to those stars as soon as you touched me" she brought her hand up in the air trailing her finger over her palm "See that hand...it has a hold over my soul. I don't care what you do with it as long it's on me...And I don't need to teach you anything darling cause you already know"
Tear rolled down Yaz's cheek and onto the pillow "I love you...I adore you with all my heart"
"And I you...with both"
"Both darling?" she asked confused
"Long story" she scrunched her face "I'll tell you one day"
"You silly woman" she giggled kissing her softly
"Buuut...I'll tell you what I can teach you...if you'd like"
"What darling?"
"Those symbols you adore so much"
"Are you serious?"
"Absolutely...never been more serious Yaz" she said kissing her softly
...
Rain stopped the next day and Yaz took a walk around the town whiles Clara was at her lecture. She knew the town quite well now and already had her little places she loved to visit. She went into a small boutique with man's clothing and bought Clara beautiful dark gray braces with leather straps at the ends around the clips. They looked classy and were perfect for winter. Then she passed next to one of the small stores and saw something really beautiful that caught her eye. It was a Victorian snow globe. She thought it would look beautiful on a fireplace at Christmas and decided that it would also be a first thing she will buy for the house.
Time was getting on and there was only half hour before meeting Clara, so she sat down for a tea in a same place as last time.
"So how much money did you spend?" Clara said into her ear startling her
"Fuck me babe!" she jumped from the chair
"Just say when and where?" Clara winks and sits down
"I actually cannot believe you just said that" Yaz looked shocked
"And I can't believe what just left your mouth either...seriously your language is horrible"
"I know...I'm sorry...I'm really trying to control it"
"Not hard enough apparently.... I'm starving"
"How come you're late?"
"Ah...they had loads of questions.... And you know me when someone asks a question, I just can't help myself...Also the stuff they came up with...seriously Yaz...it wasn't like that forty years ago, the level of education has really dropped. You know what it is...Internet"
"Internet?"
"Yes Yaz Internet...this global network of millions...billions of information's accessible to nearly seven billion people on this planet...it is amazing but...it also means that anyone out there can share the misinformation with those same billion people on a planet as well...Nobody controls it Yaz...And next thing you know some nonsense suddenly becomes a fact that people acutely believe in"
"I see what you mean...you do have a point there. I just read the other day how three years ago a woman fell from the sky straight through the roof of the train right in front of the passengers...and the crane operator who apparently witnessed it has a whole blog page about it...you wouldn't believe how many people believe that shit. He says she got up without any injuries and told everyone she was an alien"
"Mmm...Right...food?" Clara said and waived the waitress
"Oh...I bought you something" she passed a bag to her over the table
"Why Yaz?"
"Well let's say because I want to see you wear it" she smiled cheeky
"Hmmm...Alright..." she opened the bag and literally jumped in a chair "Blimey Yaz they are awesome. Where did you get those?"
"In a small store not five minutes from here"
She leans across the table kissing her forehead "Thank you darling. But please save you money Yaz. Don't spend it on me"
"I have to spoil you in some stuff. You bought me a fucking car for God's sake"
"Neah" she waives her hand
"Oh, I got something for the house. But it's all wrapped up now I'll show you when we get home"
"I'm glad you had a nice time"
"Still missed ya"
"Missed you too. We will have to leave soon darling. Weather is getting bad again. I wanted us to stay longer but I don't want us to get caught up at night. Besides tomorrow is Monday you need your sleep"
"Oh god I know...I got used to being home with you all the time. This isn't going to be easy you know"
"I know...But there's gonna be Christmas soon and you're taking time off" she grins
"True"
...
Yaz stood in their bedroom unable to move. She stood there for five minutes straight running through her head different scenarios of how this evening could go horribly wrong or how it could go really well. But no matter what she thought, she still couldn't bring herself to move and even thought of saying how she felt bad so that they would stay at home and avoid the whole agony.
"Yaz...we're going to be late...Darling, you really have to hurry" Clara shouted from downstairs
Unlike Yaz, she was ready 45 minutes ago, sitting in the kitchen drinking tea, waiting for her to get ready. She also looked great, in Yaz's opinion actually more than sexy in her usual evening wear. She even wore the braces that Yaz bought her in Oxford and those silver cuffs that Yaz had given her for their anniversary. Yaz was now thinking about what Clara was wearing because it was just easier to think about how super-hot her girlfriend was than the fact that her super-hot girlfriend was going to meet her family for the first time in less than half an hour.
"Yaz...blimey...I'm sorry to say this darling but I can't take time machine tonight, so we really need to hurry up" Clara yelled coming up the stairs "Yaz...what's wrong? Come on get a shift on...you look stunning...but I can't think about this now because you're giving me a head wonk...so come on" she said grabbing her hand
"I can't do this"
"Whaaa?" Clara stopped half hunched holding her hand
"I can't do this...I'm petrified" she looked at her on the verge of crying
"Yaz...blimey...come here" she pulled her into her chest "It's gonna be fine...I promise"
"I never had to bring my girlfriend to dinner with my parents"
"Neither did I... But we are doing it together, ha?"
She cupped her face between her palms lifting her gaze "Lova ya"
"Love you too"
"Let's go" she kissed her briefly and held her hand
As they were driving Clara kept giving her soft smiles and stroking her leg from time to time.
They parked and Clara took her hand as soon as they got out of the car. "Ready?
"Yap" she smiled nervously
"You look beautiful...it's gonna be fine"
Her parents were already outside the restaurant and Yaz felt a huge hole in her stomach when she saw them as they turned the corner of the parking lot.
"Yaz!" her mum waived "Hi girls we were wondering where you were"
"Hi mum so sorry...traffic...got held up a bit" she kissed her mum's cheek and went up to her dad "Hi dad...Hey sis"
"Hey pumpkin" her dad hugged her "Don't you look beautiful"
"And look at you, wearing a tie...mum dad, Sonya....my girlfriend Clara....Clara my family" she smiled nervously
"Hi honey, Nadija nice to meet you...we were wondering if you even exist" Nadija smiled
"Yaz's mum!" Clara immediately hugged her "You made an awesome human Nadija...You look lovely"
"Thank you, Clara," she laughed
"Hakim nice to meet you"
"Yaz's dad! Nice to meet you...This is exciting...I'm really chuffed" she smiled
"Clara wow...love the style girl" Sonya commented
"Thank you, Sonya...Nice to meet you Yaz`s sister...I used to have a sister...Shall we?" she opened the door
"Hello, I have a reservation for the table"
"Good evening, may I have your name please"
"Clara"
"Aaaa...yes...Doctor. We spoke on a phone"
"Aaa it was you...I hope that helped...you're a smart man you're definitely get in you know"
"Hope so Doctor" he smiled and took them to the table
For the time being Yaz was calmer, it was all going well for now. And her mum couldn't wipe the smile of her face which was really good. Her dad clicked with Clara straight away asking her about her job. And Sonya kept eyeing her out and was taken back when Clara took off her coat and saw how she was dressed.
"Excuse me...I have to go ladies" Yaz got up to go to the toilet
"Wait I'll go with you" Sonya got up straight away
Yaz knew she would, she could see it in her sister's eyes she will talk through her ass soon enough.
"She's fucking stunning" Sonya admitted as soon as they moved from the table
"Told ya" Yaz looked at her smug
"She's dressed really unusual...I like it"
"I know, I love it"
"You don't love it girl your hot in it...drooling...I can see your mouth watering from across the room"
"She's buying a house you know...she made the offer"
"You'll end up marring her...you'll see"
"Don't...I can't think about that"
"Why not? ...I look at every guy as potentially my husband...You should do"
"That's you Sonya...I just take one day at the time...you know...see where it goes"
....
"So, Clara Yaz tells me you decided to buy a house, that's nice" Nadija starts the conversation
"I was going to...planning to...just didn't want to buy it just for myself"
"So, you teach at the university?"
She nods "Physics"
"And history in Oxford?" Hakim said
"Just seminars, part time it's fun...Oh, Yaz your back" she smiled "What about you Nadija?"
"I'm going for an interview on Friday you know that luxury hotel complex that's being built by Jack Robertson?"
"Oh, oh...no no don't!!" Clara shoots out
"Clara? ..." Yaz frowned "Why?"
"Oh, massive spider problem there and toxic waste..."
"Whaaaa?"
"I heard about it from my mate...huge conspiracy Nadija...he's a nasty person I really wouldn't recommend"
"See I told you there's a rubbish problem...You never believe me" Hakim turns to Nadija "I did warn her.... I'm saying this for months"
...
"Well, thank you for the lovely evening girls. It was nice meeting you Clara" Nadija hugged them both
"Nice to meet you too...all of you...Yaz's family...fam" she smiled
"I'll email you all that stuff about toxic waste" Hakim said
"Yes definitely...thanks" Clara said
"I'll see you tomorrow Yaz?" Nadija asked
"Yes, definitely mum...I'll be there after work...See ya...nightie night"
As they drove home Clara was beaming and couldn't stop grinning. "See told you it will all go well" she turned to her smiling goofy
Yaz chuckled "You silly sod...you did...I'm so fucking relieved...you have no idea how hard that was for me"
"I know darling" she takes her hand and brings it to her lips kissing her knuckles "Love ya"
"I love you too"
"You scared my mum with those spiders...she hates spiders. There's no way she'll go for that job now" she laughed
"Good...and she shouldn't...talking about that I need to sort that out"
"Sort what out darling? Spiders?"
"And that..."
"Whaaa?"
"Just...you know...write few emails...to the authorities" she smiled
"Oh...you should...my dad's been trying to do that for months.... nobody listens"
"They will listen to me Yaz"
Chapter 10
Yaz was packing the bags. Finally, she's having a holiday again and will be spending the whole day with Clara. Pass two weeks have been exhausting between her work and moving and she hardly ever saw Clara as well. She also felt guilty for neglecting her girlfriend because most evenings she was so tired she would just fall asleep on a sofa or lie in a bad and pass out before Clara even finished with her shower. But she was surprisingly patient and never complained, not even once. In fact, she was absolutely wonderful making a dinner every evening and just giving her big snuggle on a sofa.
Her father got on so well with Clara now they've been on a phone for nearly every day sorting out the toxic waste issue and also other stuff that Yaz didn't even have strength to go into. She loved her dad's Pakora, she was probably the only one who did. So, he would make it specially for them two and then send it to her through Yaz. Clara got him Alexa and now he was like a kid with a new toy.
New wardrobes arrived last week, and Clara insisted she knew how to assemble them better than the people from the store, so she spent three days putting them together and surprisingly did it really well. She did freak out from time to time throwing a massive tantrum complaining about primitive engineering and how she missed adding and removing rooms. Whatever that meant Yaz had no clue she just found it funny.
They are leaving tomorrow and heading all the way to Scotland to some place called Inverloch Castle that Yaz never heard of, but it was a seven-hour drive from where they were and Clara instead, she would be driving the whole way. So Yaz suggested they do take a brake and stay overnight somewhere on a way. In the of a day, they were staying 4 days and they could leave a day earlier, there was no need to rush.
"Yaz..." Clara peaked from the door "Make sure you pack warm. It's Scotland and we are in nature"
"We have four suitcases babe...Somehow I think it's gonna be enough" she laughed "I packed your custard cream" she showed a whole bag filled with it on bed
Clara zoomed around the room and glued herself on her back "Exited?"
"Out of my mind would be correct interpretation" she laid her hands over hers rocking side to side "You're totally spoiling me. And I know this cost an arm and a leg...Airbnb would've been just fine you know"
"Maybe Yaz...but it wouldn't be same experience...besides that's why I have you to spoil you" she kissed her cheek "Right I have to go now, or we will have charcoal dinner" She said and zoomed out of the room downstairs
"Thanks for cooking...Love ya!" Yaz yelled
...
It was seven in the morning and Clara was putting suitcases in a booth. Kettle was boiling the water for the tea and Yaz looked outside to the garden. It was covered in frost, all the trees and the grass but not the blue box. There was something about that box that was bugging Yaz, and she couldn't put her finger on it. Clara never used it and yet it was her favorite thing in a world. Referring to it as Tardis, spoke about in a female gender and she caught her saying hello to it one morning. Clara was eccentric, there was no doubt in that. And most of it Yaz would brush off, but since they lived together, she saw a strange pattern in her behavior. Mentioning things from the past from perspective of a person who was there or saying stuff like, "I didn't have to think about it when I was a bloke" to a point where Yaz asked her politely if she was a man before, just to be given another silly answer how she changes body from time to time...Not that it would change anything in their relationship. She loved Clara with all her heart and didn't give monkeys about it even if she was. But there was a pain behind her eyes that was worrying Yaz it wasn't silly stuff that would come of her mouth. She loved every bone in her body, but there were secrets from her past that she wished Clara would share with her, she could only hope that one day she would.
"Hey where did you drift?" Clara came up behind her kissing her shoulder.
Yaz turned around. She tucked her hair behind her ear and ran her hand down her arms wrapped around her waist "Hey love... You know I love you with every cell in my body?"
"Is that a statement or a question?" she smiled
"Both"
"I do...And you're everything to me beautiful" she said kissing her softly "You didn't eat your breakfast?"
"I can't..."
"Oh, but it's crumpets...your favorite"
"I'll eat something later my love"
"Alright darling...I'll stop off anyway. Shall we?" she said with a massive smile on her face
"Sure...let's go"
...
They were almost three hours into their trip and the weather was terrible as usual. Yaz couldn't help but think that since the beginning of their relationship, the rain had always followed them wherever they went. Or she was just superstitious and paying too much attention to something that was perfectly normal for that time of year. Still, it must have been difficult for Clara to drive, and she really felt sorry for her. Yet she never complained or said a bad word about it or for that matter never complained about anything. Like when her roof was blown off in the storm or when her favorite garden house was struck by lightning, or her car was damaged in the hail on their last trip to Oxford or the fact that she had hardly seen Yaz for the past two weeks. Not to mention the severe lack of intimacy during that time, it couldn't have been easy for a woman whose libido was literally popping out of her ears. But Yaz never heard a single complaint, in fact, she was so attentive and loving that Yaz sometimes wondered if it was her nature or if she had been so hurt in the past that she was now clinging to this, worried that if she made a mistake, she would lose it. But Yaz also knew she couldn't think of anything that would make her leave Clara except maybe Clara literally telling her she didn't want her anymore. Deep down, she hoped that Clara was the endgame for her, the person she would spend the rest of her life with. Honestly, she couldn't even imagine herself with anyone else. Whether that was too much too soon, she didn't know or care, her heart never asked her permission from the start.
"Are you alright darling?" Yaz asked brushing her palm over her cheek and Clara turned quickly kissing it giving her smile
"I'm fine darling...Don't worry...we're there in 5 minutes, 45 seconds by my calculations...I must admit I'm now really hungry"
"Me too" Yaz smiled "Love ya"
"Love you too beautiful"
"I should send a text to mum so she's not worried. You know she called me the other day gushing how happy she is with us being together"
"See...didn't I tell you that you worry too much. But Yaz...the most important thing for me is you and me. I know it's something that means a lot to you. But even your mum absolutely couldn't stand me it would never change how I felt for you. I don't care what people think about me...just you...But it's nice...Your father is great"
"Oh god he's driving my mum insane...have been talking to him about aliens and space?"
Clara turned around grinning
"Oh, come oooon.... he will never shut up about it now...you are aware of that?" she just continued grinning and made a funny face to Yaz scrunching up her nose
Clara looked at the map on a phone that was hooked to the dashboard "Aaaaa...here we go Yaz...one minute away...You will love this place. The owner is an old friend of mines. I haven't been here in ages. Last time I was here his dad was running the place...it's all changed now. I can't remember any of this" she looked at the street with all the houses and then she turned left heading towards a beautiful old house with a pub at bottom.
"Is this it?"
"Yap...like it?"
"I love it...OMG how old is this house?"
"It was built in 1752 Yaz...it's old"
they parked up and Yaz was deciding what suitcase to take out...they had so much stuff it was absolutely obscene. She was trying to remember what was were and she was hoping she made the right choice. "Right...I think those two...if I made a mistake, we'll have no toiletries" she laughed
"Let's hope you didn't then" Clara grabbed the suitcase one by one pulling them out of the car when an older man came out to great them
"Doctor!" he said walking fast and Clara's face lid up. She left the bag and rushed to hug him
"Duncan..." she hugged him tight "It's so nice to see you again"
"You're making me tear Doctor...how long has it been?"
"Too long... way too long mate"
"I love the new look. Wasn't sure what to expect but I must say you nailed it this time"
"Duncan...this is my Yaz...Yasmin Khan"
"Yasmin...what a beautiful name...like the flower. Welcome Yasmin"
"Very nice to meet you Duncan" she smiled
The man was beside himself from emotions and Yaz couldn't help but wonder how long it has really been since they saw each other last time.
"I've got the best room for you Doctor and Sophie just finished food"
"Much appreciated...I'm absolutely starving"
They walked into a big pub. It was buzzing with people. A younger man who introduced himself as Duncans son took their bags upstairs and Duncan took them to their table. He was extremely polite and Yaz saw he really loved Clara. There was a tear in his eye when he spoke with her. The food was brought literally five minutes after they sat down.
"Sophie...meet the Doctor and Yasmin Khan" Duncan said proudly
The lady smiled and shook their hands "I was so excited to finally meet you. Duncan spoke about you from the day we met"
"And he was always in my hearts as well Sophie" Clara looked at him across her shoulder "One of the kindest people I've ever known"
"Please enjoy yourselves ladies" Duncan said smiling
"Noo...sit with us" Clara said
"No Doctor. You have your food in peace. We will have time to talk"
"When was a last time you saw each other?" Yaz asked
"Years ago, Yaz...I can't even remember...it was a long time ago" she looked towards him as he came back to the bar with a bit of dreamy look in her eyes "Wonderful man Yaz...the whole family really...such kind people"
They finished the meal they both needed so much and went upstairs to their room. It was nice and cozy. Their suitcases neatly placed on wooden holders by the window that was overlooking the courtyard of the pub. It wasn't open as it was winter, but it was big and wooden benches and tables were still there covered with nylon to shelter them from the rain. The music and murmur of people talking and laughing could be heard from downstairs. Clara unbuttoned her shirt and took off cufflinks leaving them on a table. Yaz could see in her she was exhausted. It wasn't late at all she didn't look at the time, but it couldn't be more than noon. But Clara was up since five in the morning and drove for nearly four hours in a rain and Yaz could see she was struggling. She came up to her and gazed at her lovingly. Kissing her lips with short kisses.
"Hey, let me do it love" she said quietly and moved her braces of her shoulders then pulled her shirt out of the trousers unbuttoning the rest of the buttons. Clara let her do it, she wasn't complaining, just moved a strain of hair from her forehead and Yaz looked up to her smiling then looked down again unbuttoning her trousers letting them fall to the floor. She undressed them both and took Clara's hand leading her to the shower.
"Like it?" Yaz asked smiling spreading soap all over her body caressing her gently
"Love it...Could get used to it"
"I'm fine with that" Yaz smiled kissing her short
She wasn't doing it seductively and had no expectations of that sort. She just wanted to take care of her, be gentle with her and show her how much she loved her. Clara let her do everything even dry her out with a towel, she kept smiling at her all the time. And Yaz could see she was enjoying in every moment of her attentiveness.
"Wanna take a nap darling?" Yaz asked as they came out of the bathroom
Clara smiled gently and wrapped her fingers around Yaz's face pulling her for a gentle kiss.
"Clara..." Yaz took her by the wrist "I wasn't expecting..."
"I know" she said shortly "But I was" she smiled and kissed her deeply one of those kisses that made Yaz feel like was falling through the sky
It's been nearly two weeks since the last time they did this. And Yaz wanted to make it up to her. She wanted to take this slow, but Clara was bursting at seems. In her mind what they did in a shower was a warmup enough and she had no patience to wait any longer. Yaz could read it in her body language, in the way she kissed her, the way her hand was wrapped at the back of her head and the other slipped around her waist running down her spine and over her behind. She also knew that if she wanted to make it up to her, she was going to have to move fast because there was no force in the world that could stop her girlfriend when she started. She had a way of maneuvering Yaz in two seconds giving her a whiplash. She wraps her hand at the nape of her neck deepening the kiss and slips her hand between her thighs. Clara moaned into her mouth.
"I was faster" she smiles into her mouth "Bed?"
"Mmmm" Clara nods moving back kissing her one more time before lying down and propping herself on her arms watching Yaz as she finds herself place between her thighs.
"You'll have to be quite" Yaz smiled looking up
"I'll do my best" she laughed, and her head tilted back closing her eyes as Yaz's lips trailed over her mound and hot breath hit her thighs
"Shoot..." she ran her hand through Yaz's hair and rolled her hips over her lips.
Yaz took her gently slowly feeling her melting into her, she rested her feet on Yaz's shoulders and scooped up her hair into her hands tangling her fingers into it. She felt her breathing underneath the palm of her hand that rested on her stomach, muscles clenching with each thrust of her fingers through her. Quiet morning escaping her lips and her cheeks bright red. Clara felt like she was falling apart. She missed her touch, her breath, this feeling of her inside. Like a part of her was missing taken away. She missed it more than she would admit it even to herself. Yaz felt her shudder, her legs trembling, and she led her through it to see the stars. Clara grabbed her hand that rested on her sides and lace her fingers squeezing it tight. She slumped to bed and rolled on her side. Yaz found it weird as she never did that before.
"Love? What's wrong?" she said worriedly rushing by her side "Clara?" she moved her hand that covered her face "OMG love...why are you crying?"
Clara pulled her by the hand and wrapped herself around her into a ball tucking her face into her neck without a word
"Hey...it's ok darling I'm here baby please talk to me...what's going on?" but she sobbed into her skin tears rolling down Yaz's chest without a word. She heard her whimper quietly and squeezing the life out Yaz. Clara was strong and her legs closed around her so tightly. Yaz stroked her hair and didn't ask any more questions, she just whispered to her while rocking her in his arms "It's ok I'm here, I love you so so much"
She finally calmed down after almost ten minutes of crying her soul out shaking like a branch. "I'm cold" she said into Yaz's neck
"Alright baby...just let go of me, just a little ok so I can get the duvet...it's right there on a floor"
She let her go and Yaz grabbed it as fast as she could wrapping them both into it. She was really worried, didn't know what to think. Clara wasn't saying anything, and she wasn't going to ask either. She let this, whatever it was to be on her terms.
She lay down next to her and Clara wrapped herself around her again, but she just lay on the pillow, bloodshot eyes and blotchy face looking at her wordlessly, running her thumb over Yaz's cheek.
"Is that better?" Yaz asked stroking her hair
"Much...thank you"
"Don't be silly, you don't need to say thank you. I love you darling. With every cell in my body. You do know that right?"
"I do Yaz. I'm sorry about this"
"I don't know what you're talking about" she smiled "I'm worried about you darling. You don't need to say anything or explain. Just know that I'm here my love"
"Tell me Yaz" she said still sniffing
"Tell you what my love?"
"Tell me you're mine...I want to hear it"
"I am yours my love, body and soul. Every part of me that's breathing" another tear rolled down her face dropping on the pillow and Yaz wiped it away "Have you questioned it love?"
"No... Just needed to hear you say it"
"I'm yours for as long as you want me to be. And there is nothing in this world that would ever change that"
Yaz was very worried, she knew enough even from her training to see that Clara was broken inside. Broken into pieces that she desperately put together herself trying to hold it together. She had no idea what was causing it. But what had just happened made her determined to do whatever it took to change that, to help her heal, she just hoped her love would be enough.
Clara fell asleep curled up into her with her head tucked into her neck breathing slowly. But Yaz couldn't sleep, not this time. She stayed awake the whole time trying to put the pieces of the puzzle together. Thinking about everything she possibly could. All the silly stuff Clara would say, the blue box in the garden, the people she knew and the people she talked about, the places she mentioned and the strange gadgets she owned. And no matter how desperately she tried, nothing made logical sense, nothing that fit within normal parameters anyway. One thing she was absolutely sure of was that she would never again neglect Clara like she had for the past two weeks. She already felt bad about it, but after today she really hated herself for it.
Clara woke up and lifted her head and to Yaz's relief had a smile on her face. She felt her hand trailing over her hip and it melted her heart.
"Hey love. Had a nice nap?"
"Mmmm" Clara mumbled and brought her hand to her face wrapping her beautiful fingers around it and Yaz's heart skipped the beat "Come here" she smiled and kissed her deeply moving around underneath the covers and trailing her hand all over her maneuvering her underneath herself. Yaz knew what it meant she just wasn't sure if it was a right time. But there was no way she would stop her or ask any questions, so she went with it. She desperately needed her anyway, it's been way too long for both of them, and it felt nice.
She finally fell asleep herself, she didn't feel so much tiered physically as mentally. Mainly from fear and worry that swept thru her. But Clara seemed back to herself. In some bizarre way almost as if this had never happened. So Yaz simply accepted it. She dozed off for a short while then woke up to a sound of Clara taking a shower. She got out of the bathroom and started to get dressed
"Where are you going love?"
"Sleep darling, I'm just gonna go downstairs for a bit. I want to ketch up with Duncan for a while"
"Alright honey" she watched her getting dressed, it was one of her favorite things. Bizarre but it was hers. She watched her as she buttoned her shirt and tucked it into her trousers then pulled the braces over her shoulders, finally the cufflinks on her sleeves, then leaned over to Yaz running her finger across her nose smiling softly
"I adore you beautiful" she crouched down by the bed and Yaz propped her head on her arm
"I promise I will talk to you. Just not now love. I love you with all my hearts" she said stroking her face "I'm so sorry I scared you I didn't mean to. I just had a bit of head wonk...You know...things fuzzing inside...But you were wonderful, and I love you so much for it"
"I love you too darling more than I could even say"
"I never doubt that, not for a minute...that's all you need to know. Sleep now, you need to rest. I won't be long I promise. When I come back, we can have a little walk around and dinner. How's that sound?"
"Perfect" she smiled, and Clara's kissed her softly before she left
....
The rain finally stopped, washing away all the frost, but it was still cold. It was very cold, and Clara wrapped Yaz up like they were going for a walk around the Arctic Circle, making her wear so many layers that when she put on the jacket, she felt like she couldn't move her arms. And as soon as they went outside, she also put the hood over her head, which was so big and fluffy around the edges that now even her vision was obstructed. But Yaz let her do it because she found it lovely and incredibly considerate. Again, something she never had in her life apart from her family and that doesn't count in this setup. So, she would let Clara do literally whatever she wanted with her. To most people that amount would seem overwhelming, but for Yaz it was something she could never get enough of, and she loved her for it. They walked slowly through the village. Clara laced their fingers together, then put their hands in her pocket to warm them. The village was small and surrounded by beautiful nature. They stopped several times just admiring the view. The air was fresh, and Clara's cheeks were bright red and Yaz wondered if she was cold. Her skin was already normally cool to the touch, something Yaz had gotten used to over time. But in the beginning when she pressed against her, the only thing that warmed Yaz was passion. They both needed fresh air and a change of scenery, walking for nearly an hour and now on their way back to the pub as it was slowly getting dark.
"Yaz"
"Yes love?"
"About earlier"
"Clara...darling you don't need to..."
"I want to Yaz..." she stopped and turned towards her "Yaz...listen...there's like stuff in my past, things I did...decisions I made that made that bother me. You know like a shadow that follows you around"
"Mmmm" Yaz nodded "Like illegal stuff darling?"
"No Yaz nothing like that...just...I lost someone really important, someone I really loved...and there were other things many things...it's complicated...mess really...Most of the time I just don't think about it. But past two weeks have been...difficult and with you not being around it just became overwhelming. Does that make any sense?" she scrunched up her frozen face
"Perfect sense love. I'm so, so sorry I've neglected you and I wasn't there..."
"It's ok Yaz...no need to say sorry for that"
"But I do...I'm so sorry I was just so tired all the time"
"Yaz it's fine...that's fine, really it is...There's so much I want to tell you Yaz...I want to tell you everything...but there's so much there Yaz...too much...and some things.... well...I want to Yaz...I was planning to I just need a bit more time that's all...I need to...I don't even know where to start"
Yaz pulled her in and hugged her tightly "Thank you for telling me this. Take as much time as you need love it's fine...it really is...you tell me when you're ready ok?"
"I love you Yaz...that will never change" she said tucking her head into her neck.
Yaz pulled back gazing at her bringing her hand up to her face "I love you with all my heart...I just need you to know I'm always here for whatever.... You can kiss me" she smiled "there's nobody here"
Clara smiled and wrapped fingers around her face "I adore you Yasmin" They kissed softly for quite some time on a little village road between the fields.
"I'm freezing" Yaz said into her lips her cheeks flushed from the cold
"Me too it's really freezing...let's go back" Clara smiled rubbing her hands on her back
Clara felt like a ton of bricks had just fallen off her shoulders. She could never have asked for anything more than what Yaz had just given her. More understanding and patience than she could ever hope for, and that meant the world to her. Now it's time to finally set things right. And she wanted it very much, the secrets were tearing her apart and the burden of the decisions she had to make. But this gave her a new hope, one she didn't have six weeks ago. It should have been so easy, but as everything in her life things always went wrong and so did this in every imaginable way. And now she was wrapped in a web of lies and secrets that she could only hope that Yaz would have enough love in her heart to forgive her.
...
They came back to the pub and had a lovely meal. Duncan and Sophie came to sit with them for a while and Yaz released what Clara was saying how absolutely lovely they were. Music was playing and the place was buzzing in the evening. Rounds of drinks being poured. It was a small place, and everyone knew each other really well, cracking jokes and laughing. Yaz loved it so much she wished they could come here more often. The local pubs didn't feel the same and she never went to them herself. But this felt as if they stepped into another time the one long gone in big cities.
"I had no idea you actually drink Clara?" Yaz said laughing after she brought another round from the bar
"I don't...not normally...but it would not be polite to decline it here"
"I'm really tipsy you know" she giggled with her eyes glowing looking at Clara flapping her eyelashes
"You look cute tipsy" she laughed
"And you look sexy drunk...ups...shouldn't be saying that out loud"
"I think after this I need to take you to bed"
"You can take me to bed whenever you want" she looked at her with glass eyes
"Sssshhh...I see I'll have to gag you as well" she shook her head laughing
"Clara, I see you girls are having fun?" Duncan said coming back at their table. He was at the bar so couldn't sit with them all the time. But now and then he pops over to join them
"Best ever Duncan. Can't remember the last time I sat in a pub drinking...definitely not in this body" she laughed and Yaz frowned confused, but she was too drunk to think
"So, you still have quite a way to go tomorrow?"
"We do it's a long trip, but it will be worth it"
"I do hope I will see you again Doctor"
"You will Duncan...I can promise you that. I wouldn't miss it for the world"
"I hope you remember me one day Doctor...and continue to come here when my son takes over the pub"
"Don't say stuff like that...we still have a long way to go" she puts her arm around his shoulder
The whole conversation made no sense to Yaz whatsoever, but she was gone. Layed her head on a table like a kid and ready for bed.
"I think I need to take her upstairs" Clara laughed looking at Yaz
"She checked out, didn't she?" Duncan laughed
"Oh yeah...Come on Yazee darling...you're a goner" she got up and reached for Yaz's hands pulling her up and she just slumped on her shoulder "See you for breakfast Duncan"
"See you in the morning Doctor"
"Come on you" she dragged her to the stairs and then just picked her up, carrying her the rest of the way as Yaz's head slumped on her shoulder. She laid her on the bed and then began to remove her clothes. Yaz moaned rolling around on the bed like a pancake as Clara took off her trousers and the rest of her clothes. She finally succeeded and tucked her under the covers, then sorted herself, laughing all the while at Yaz mumbling incoherently, then laid down behind her, pulling her close. She was happy, as happy as could be. A sense of inner peace for the first time. Her hearts were filled with love for Yaz. She liked this life. It was different, but she loved every minute of it. She rested her head on Yaz's shoulder and kissed her cheek then fell asleep in just a few minutes.
...
They were only an hour away from the hotel and the ride was nice. No rain for a change and music playing in a car. Yaz was getting excited as they were coming close. This was her first Christmas vacation, and she didn't know what to expect. Her life has literally turned upside down in past six weeks. She went from nothing to suddenly having everything. Something she could never even dream off.
She couldn't remember how she got into the room last night and laughed when she saw herself but naked in the morning messing around with Clara how she took advantage out of her which she somehow didn't find funny at all saying she would absolutely never. And that made Yaz laugh even more.
"Happy?" Clara looked at her smiling
"Out of my mind. I still can't believe this to be honest. My first proper Christmas love"
Clara took her hand and kissed her knuckles "It's absolutely beautiful...there's a lake as well. Did I tell you about the lake?"
"Nope"
"Oh yeah...If you like it, we can come again in summer. Then it's even more beautiful. Not as beautiful as pink beaches of Srinum but maybe I'll take you there ones as well"
"Pink beaches? There are no pink beaches?"
"Maybe not here Yaz...but I can assure you they are real"
"Oh yeah...where then?"
"I'll tell you one day...it will be a surprise" she turns around making a funny face
"You just talk silly again" she giggles
"I never talk silly Yaz...Well maybe sometimes...When I have a head wonk but most times, I'm not I assure you"
"You do...like that name Gallifreyan...I googled it...it doesn't exist"
"Maybe you just spelled it wrong Yaz" she grinned
Yaz shook her head laughing. She was glad she was back to her old silly self.
The last hour of their journey passed very quickly, Clara telling her about the pink beaches, but she didn't say where they were. She was sure she was just making it up, trying to make her laugh. They reached the castle, and it was absolutely massive, surrounded only by mountains and beautiful fields. Yaz's eyes widened as the car slowly approached it, she pressed her face to the window. She had never slept in a castle in her life and wondered if it was cold. Clara parked the car and as they got out, she smiled at Yaz, who stood as if hypnotized by the scene.
"Like it?" she smiled
"Fucking love it...this is amazing"
"Good because I would hate if you didn't Yaz...Come on" she nods her head "Let's go inside
Yaz stood in the massive lobby and spun around looking at the opulent interior. The big Christmas tree looked magical. Clara was arranging their reservation at the front desk, turning around from time to time to smile at her. Finally, they took the keys and went to their room. Yaz was nervous, again feeling like she didn't belong in a place like this. But Clara reached for her hand, holding it all the way upstairs, running her thumb over it as she usually did when she knew she was nervous.
"Relax...it's just a hotel" she leaned over whispering in her ear
"I'm trying to...My heart's popping out of my mouth"
"That's uncomfortable Yaz" she laughed
The room was stunning and overlooking the mountains. Their bags were already in their room waiting and Yaz rushed to the bathroom
"Hey look...they have the soaps" she smiled
"Aaaaa...keep those Yaz"
"I'm keeping everything...hey look at this...aren't they cute" she was showing small shampoos
Clara slumped on a bed exhausted and Yaz climbed it and sat on top of her smiling
She ran her hands down Yaz's legs and laughed "You look like you're gonna pop Yaz" she looked at her face beaming with a permanent smile
"I will" she bend down kissing her "All because of you"
"I make you pop Yaz?" she giggled
"Yap in more than one way as well...You can make me pop now...if you're not too tiered?" she laughed and rolled her hips on her
"You'll make me pop if you keep doing that Yaz"
She giggled and rolled again few times
"You cheeky bugger" Clara grabbed her arm rolling her on her back "Now you're gonna see who's gonna pop”.
"You cheeky bugger" Clara grabbed her arm rolling her on her back "Now you're gonna see who's gonna pop”.
Chapter 11
It was a second day of their trip and one day before Christmas eve. Restaurant was buzzing for breakfast. Tables packed with food and the smells of fresh coffee and tea lingering in the air mixing with the smell of food. Clara was chatting with some random nice old lady at the other end and Yaz was deciding what to eat. Usual choice would be crumpets but the abundance of the choice on a table was confusing.
"Yasmin Khan!" the man behind her called her name cheerfully and she turned around
It was a young man in his thirties whom she's never seen before.
"Excuse me?"
"Yasmin Khan?"
"Yes?"
"Don't you remember me?"
"Nooo should I?"
"Paris three year ago...oh I'm sorry I suppose you and the Doctor do so much travelling it's hard to keep up with faces" he reached for a handshake "Patrick Clark"
"I'm sorry did you say Doctor?"
"Yes...You are Yasmin Khan?"
"Yes sir...I definitely still am"
"And you do know the Doctor?"
"I know Clara who is the Doctor...but you're really getting me confused now" she looked around and she couldn't see Clara anywhere. She just wanted to clarify this mess that made feel confused and embarrassed
"Oh, well I only know her by the Doctor"
"Patrick honey!" the woman's called the man across the table
"Oh, sorry. It's my wife. Well sorry for a confusion mam. Maybe I just got something wrong. I'm so sorry to disturb you.
"That's fine..." Yaz was left totally confused and now thought of million questions she could have asked him but didn't
Clara saw her across the room and released she looked a bit lost, so she excused herself and walked up to her "Yaz...you look like you've seen a ghost?"
"Maybe I have" she said putting random stuff from the table on her plate
"Why are you taking ham Yaz? You don't eat pork? What's going on?"
"Oh, nothing...sorry " she snapped out of it "I'll tell you what. I'm not that hungry darling...I'll just have some tea"
"Yaz..." Clara pulled her by the hand "What's going on? Did someone say something to you?"
"No, why would someone say something to me?"
"Because you're acting weird, and you were about to eat pork"
She had no idea how to approach this or should she even approach it. It was beyond bizarre situation to say the least.
"Clara...have you been to Paris three years go?"
She scrunched her face thinking "I don't think so Yaz...why?"
"Some man just approached me saying he met you and me in Paris three years ago"
"Hmmm...that seems a bit weird. I'm pretty sure I wasn't in Paris three years ago Yaz. In fact, I think you're pretty sure you weren't either...right? Or were you?"
"Whaaa...not of course I wasn't in Paris...what would I be doing in Paris? ...I've never left bloody Sheffield in my life until I met you. But he knew my name"
"Maybe he just confused you with someone Yaz"
"And how did he know my name Clara?"
"We've been here two days Yaz..."
"But how did he know my name Clara?" she was getting frustrated, and it felt in her voice "That lady there? Do you know her name Clara?"
"No but I could find out if I wanted to"
"Yeah how?"
"Easy...come on" she reaches for her hand leading her to one of the main waiters
"Excuse me sir"
"Yes mam?"
"That lady over there. I met her two years ago on one of my lectures in Oxford. It's so embarrassing but I completely forgot her name"
"Oh, miss Barbara Clayton you mean?"
"Yees...thank you...your absolute savior"
Yaz looked at her baffled "That's it? It's that easy?"
"Yes, Yaz darling. In places like these it's their job to know every guest's name. It's part of the service...you know" she rolled her eyes "Elitism. So, you probably seemed familiar to him, and he asked someone what's your name"
"And the Doctor? ...How do you explain that?"
"Coincidence Yaz...how many people are Doctor's ha? .... like Abraham Lincoln and Charles Darwin"
"Ha?"
"Both born on a same day...12 February 1809...what are the chances Yaz?"
Yaz sighed and looked at Clara with puppy eyes "I'm sorry I lost it back there"
"It's fine...relax" she said kissing her temple and put her arm over her shoulder "Come on...and please eat something"
"Alright...I will babe"
"Good...because I would hate if you wouldn't Yaz"
...
"Yaz...get up Yaz" Clara shook her quite violently
"Whaaa...what? ..." she jumped practically having a heart attack
"Loook" she grabbed her hand dragging her to the window
"OMG babe wtf? "
"Loook!!...there Yaz" she grabs her literally gluing her to the window showing her a herd of deer on the fields underneath their window
"OMG that's so fucking beautiful" Yaz smiled with sleepy eyes
"See aren't you glad I got you up?"
"Yeah" she laughs "Would've liked if you did it a bit more gently dhow you silly woman"
"It's a Christmas eve Yaz" she flashed a huge smile
"It is love" Yaz smiled stroking her face "Our first one" she said kissing her softly "I'm freezing" she said absolutely frozen standing naked by the massive window and ran back into bed "What time is it?"
"Seven...sleep more if you want. I just wanted you to see that"
"Seven...When did you get up?"
"Five"
"Five???? What the hell did you do since five?"
"Oh, went for walk...I wanted to see sunrise from the lake"
"OMG that's called will...Your cute dhow. And full of energy"
"Not like I used to be...you should have seen me before Yaz" she says smug
"No thanks...I'm barely keeping up with you even now"
"That's a shame...because I wanted you to see it with me tomorrow morning on a Christmas day" she grins knowing she will agree
"Oh..."
"But if you don't that's fine" she looks through the window looking disappointed
"Hey...I'll go with you"
"Really?" Clara turns around with a big smile
"Yeah, silly I'll go with you"
"Goodie" she jumps running to the bed kissing her and squeezing her into the duvet like a rolled sausage "Sleep now...you can't keep your eyes open Yaz it's funny...Did you know that when you're tiered one of your eyes is a bit slow?"
"Noooo...I don't...but my brain definitely is, and I can't keep up with you" she moaned
"Hmmm...funny that...Do you have a problem with your eyes Yaz?"
"Noooo!!!! Let me fucking sleep you hyper nutter" she moaned covering her face with a duvet
"Alright grumpy...I'm calling you grumpy from now on...grumpy Yaz..."
"OMG!!! Alright I'll get up for God's sake"
"Noo...don't on my account...grumpy Yaz"
Yaz couldn't take it anymore releasing she won't shut up until she gets up. She threw a cover off and wobbled to the bathroom.
"You could have slept more you know" she looked through the window and Yaz slammed the bathroom door "Grumpy"
....
"So... where are we going again?" Yaz said still sleepy getting into the car. It was eight o'clock and she still didn't know her own name.
"Fort William Yaz...it's not far from here. Lovely town. Oh, did I tell you Queen Victoria stayed in this castle?"
"Really?"
"Yeah...she described it in her diary as one of the loveliest and most romantic places she's ever seen" she smiled smug
"Figure that one...charmer" Yaz smiled and got into the car
They spent the whole morning in a lovely town and had lunch in cute little restaurant. Then got stuck in a little Christmas store.
"Clara why are you buying Christmas tree decorations?"
"For a Christmas tree...look isn't he cute?" she said dangling little elf in her hand
"We don't have a Christmas tree"
"We don't now...but we will"
"Yeah...like next year"
"Exactly Yaz...so by the time it comes Christmas next year you will have all the decorations"
Yaz cracked up laughing shaking her head. And in the end seeing Clara so happily choosing them she got into it herself. The bought so many Yaz was absolutely certain it was enough for two Christmas trees.
But by the time it came afternoon, and they were coming back Yaz again couldn't keep her eyes open. For some reason Clara was super hyper and she figured it was a Christmas rush. She was like a little kid hopping around everywhere. She desperately needed sleep if she wanted to be awake for the evening and also, she promised her a trip to the lake at dawn. She was absolutely dreading it. But she made her a promise and also promised herself she will never neglect her girlfriend again so now she had no choice. She was just hoping to God she won't fall asleep standing up next to lake.
They came back to the hotel and Yaz slumped to the bed unbuttoning her trousers lying down and wiggling her bum to get out of them.
"What are you doing Yaz" Clara laughed
"Trying to get my clothes off without getting up" she giggled trying to get her foot out of the trousers
Clara laughed and grabbed the trousers pulling them in one swipe. "Better?"
"Can you do the rest?"
"Tempted...very tempted Yaz" she smirked taking her cufflinks off
"Mmmm...sexy" Yaz lifts her eyebrow propping herself up on the bed
Clara winks rolling her sleeves and licking her lip
"Fuck...Lord have mercy on me"
"Though you wanted to sleep Yaz?" Clara says grabbing her legs pulling her to the edge of the bed
"Changed my mind"
"Really...hmmm...interesting..."she hooks her fingers into her panties pulling them over her legs kissing her mound as they slipped down "And why's that Yasmin?"
"Oh god...please"
Clara raised an eyebrow and tilted her head getting down to her knees "please what?" she puts her hands on her knees spreading her legs
"Please don't let me beg cause I will"
She smiled kissing the inside of her leg unable to keep the straight face no more. She found Yaz way too cute like this to wind her up anymore.
"Alright love...you don't need to beg" she shook her head smiling, then took her legs and placed her feet on her shoulders, gently trailing her hands down her sides. Yaz felt her braces underneath her bare feet and her toes curled up as she trailed her fingers down her legs which Clara found absolutely adorable.
She no longer felt embarrassed being exposed like this it felt as normal as breathing. It was her Clara who absolutely worshipped every inch of her with her lips and she did the same to her and actually she came to like it. It was their little thing that spoke to her heart.
Clara was gentle taking her time dotting her kisses and trailing her hands. But all Yaz could think about at the moment was that she was going to absolutely pop as her lips traveled up the inside of her legs and over her mound, her fingers ghosting the insides of her thighs driving her insane.
"Please love..." she begged lifting her hips off the mattress
Clara smiled finally going through her, Yaz's hips bucked into the touch rolling over her lips.
"Inside please" she whimpered tapping her hand that was resting on her sides and moaned quietly as cold fingers pressed inside her.
She threaded her fingers through Clara's hair.
She felt like she was falling apart, Clara pressed against her so hard taking her with no mercy. Running through her like a wildfire burning underneath her skin. Her lips sealed themselves on her so hard Yaz almost wanted to escape them. She bucked her hips, but Clara pulled them down pinning her to the mattress and pressed even harder keeping the steady rhythm of her fingers running through her.
Clara almost laughed when she saw Yaz placing a pillow over her face knowing she was desperately trying to muffle her sounds and wiggling underneath her. She heard a muffled whimper and felt her shuddering, her legs trembling on her shoulders. She kissed the inside of her legs then dragged Yaz over the bed tucking her underneath the covers.
"Now you can sleep" she smiled kissing her temple looking at her checked out not knowing where she was.
Clara watched her sleep resting her head on her hand. She trailed her fingers lightly down the sides of Yaz's back.
"Mmmm" Yaz moaned and rolled over tucking her face into her neck kissing the soft skin that smelled like home.
"Welcome back lovely" she smiled threading fingers through her hair
"Mmmmm" Yaz moaned again and slipped her hand around her
"Still sleepy? ...Ok...we have time" she smiled "Maybe I'll get a shut eye as well"
"Don't go" she mumbled into her neck
"And where would I possibly go?"
"Don't know...but don't"
She chuckled "I won't"
"You always do" she mumbled half asleep
"Go where love?"
"To the console" she said quietly leaving Clara speechless
"Shoot..." she commented quietly and kissed her head then laid down and pulled her close draping her leg over her hip and hugging her tightly "I'm right here love...not going anywhere" she said running fingers through her hair feeling her hot breath on her neck
...
They got up and started getting ready for the evening.
Clara bought Yaz a beautiful red dress just for the occasion. It was floor length with thin straps with an open back that went all the way down to her waist. Clara wore a black suit with a red waistcoat and a matching bow tie. They came down holding hands and Yaz couldn't wipe a smile of her face. Her heart was pumping as she saw all the guests in their evening attire. She's never seen anything like this in her life. Clara held her hand tight laced fingers and from time to time kissed her knuckles as she could see she was getting nervous mingling with other guests.
They had a full day once the festivities begun with afternoon tea followed by a Champagne reception with canapés at six. During the reception they enjoyed in traditional Christmas Carols followed by dinner. Clara got up from the table reaching for Yaz's hand and she took her on a side by the massive Christmas tree.
"Hey love...why did you bring me here?"
"It's Christmas soon" she smiled showing her the clock on the wall.
"Will I get a kiss?" she giggled
"Might do Yaz...just might do more than that"
Clock struck midnight and Clara draped Yaz's arms over her shoulders then trailed her hands down the sides of her back locking them around her waist "Merry Christmas my love" she smiled
"Merry Christmas my heart" Yaz whispered smiling, and they lips came to together into a soft kiss
They pulled apart smiling Yaz stroking the nape of her neck "I love you so much. Thank you for this"
She scrunched her face "Neah...best is still to come"
"What you mean silly?"
Clara moved a bit reaching into her pocket then took Yaz's hand kissing her fingertips
"What love?"
She placed the small box into her hand and Yaz looked at it confused.
"But presents are in morning babe? "
"Not this one...open it Yaz"
She looked up at her then back down to the box.
"Clara?"
"Marry me"
"Come again?" she frowned
"Marry me Yasmin"
"Don't joke like that Clara" she shook her head
"I would never Yaz...I'm serious I want to marry you...that is if you want me"
"Clara....it's been six weeks" she asked completely shocked
"So? Do you plan on changing your mind in six months?"
"No of course not...never"
"Then where's the problem?"
"Are you sure you want this? " a tear rolled down her cheek "What if you change your mind?"
Clara gazed at her softly then took the ring out of the box and reached out for her hand "Do you want to marry me, Yasmin Khan?" she looked deep into her eyes
"Yes...yes I fucking do silly woman" she said, and Clara slipped a ring on her finger then kissed her knuckles
"He, don't cry, you're ruining your makeup" she laughed and pulled her for a kiss, Yaz whimpered into her mouth through the tears
"So..." she reached for her hand "Let's enjoy the rest of the evening my future wife" she said smiling at her
To be continued. I hope I will have time to post another 2 chapters till the middle of next week.
Chapter 12
Yaz was lying in bed looking at the ring on her finger while Clara was in the shower. It was absolutely beautiful, but very unusual. Gold with a stone that changed color under the light and the same symbols as those in Clara's diary engraved all over. Yaz had never seen anything like it in her life nor could she understand what the symbols meant. Clara explained the meaning of it and how it represents a vow of love, a promise, a bond between two people that will last forever and how the inscription is thousands of years old. It was so beautiful that she couldn't stop looking at it.
She also couldn't believe that they were actually engaged. Her brain struggled to process the information that was so surreal she felt like it was happening to someone else, not her. That was it, Clara was her completion, the person she would spend the rest of her life with. The person she wanted more than anything in this world, and her heart couldn't take it. It felt like it was going to explode. She went through a strange series of emotions from happiness to moments where she had to hold back tears. And right now, she was having one of those moments where tears were running down her face and soaking into the pillow.
She would have to tell her family, if not now, then when she got back. Sonya would just tell her "I told you so", her dad had already called Clara her wife, but she knew her mother would worry that it was all too soon. And maybe it was, but Yaz didn't care, she had promised herself six weeks ago that she would grab what was there with both hands while it was still there for the taking and how she wouldn't question it and let the universe guide her. She was completely in love with this woman, who from the first day she met her felt like she was running under her skin.
"Hey you...daydreaming?" Clara came to bed and kissed her temple
"Cuddle" Yaz opened her arms making room for her between her legs
"Mmmm...comfy" she scrunched her nose wiggling her bum making herself comfortable on top of her and Yaz automatically locked her legs around her
"Better?"
"Much...I'm cold" she snuggled pulling covers over their heads giggling
"You are cold honey...but this is nice...I'll keep you worm" she smiled moving hair from her face kissing her
Yaz loved it when the weight of her body pressed her into the mattress like that. There was something about it that made her feel safe. It was stupid because Clara was so tiny and seemed so fragile at times, but when she was like that, she felt like no one could hurt her or harm her like she was protected from the world, a world that many times was very unkind and brutal to her.
"So tomorrow we go and watch the sunrise?" Yaz asked, stroking the back of her head and sliding her hand down her shoulders. She felt her warming up a little. Her coldness greatly worried Yaz and she was going to talk to her about it. She was worried that it was a medical condition that, if left untreated, could cause serious problems. It's not normal for someone to feel so cold all the time. But now she especially felt like ice, so Yaz didn't mind the lack of oxygen under the covers, it was minor discomfort for Clara to be warm.
"You really don't need to go with me darling. I know you love your sleep"
"I do, but I'm going. I can sleep later.... Aaa that tickles" she giggled as Clara ran her fingertips at the back of her leg
"You will be grumpy when I wake you up...I know you"
"I promise I won't"
"Iff you are I'm leaving you in bed"
"Deal...Clara..." she said trailing fingers down her back
"Yeees my lovely?"
"Kiss me" ....
...
It was five in the morning and Clara was already up getting dressed. Yaz was rolled up like a burrito in a duvet and she found her so adorably cute sleeping she didn't want to wake her up. Well not just yet anyway. Looking at Yaz sleeping was one of her favorite things. When Yaz slept there could be a Dalek invasion going on and she would sleep right through it. She would be so checked out that Clara could literally do whatever she wanted with her, and the most she would get out of her would be the occasional moan. Yaz also talked in her sleep, she did it a lot and often, especially when she was extremely tired, and it would be fun for Clara to ask her random questions waiting for an answer. Mostly she would get incoherent answers, but sometimes she would get an interesting or funny answer. Like the other one, she had a whole conversation with her about what she wanted for dinner, she also got out of her what she was going to get for Christmas and where Yaz was hiding it, which was cheeky, but Clara just couldn't help herself, it was stronger than her.
She fastened her braces and put on the cuffs while looking out the window. It was still dark outside, but the lights from the castle illuminated the surrounding fields. It was peaceful, nice away from everything. It calmed her mind to look into the distance and see nothing but nature. Today she was happy and full of hope that today is the first day of her new life. Life with a woman who held her hearts in her hands, healing them from all the pain that had accumulated in them over the centuries of her long life. But it was all still fragile to Clara, and she will continue to feel that way until she eases her soul. Also, her troubled mind scared her and every time she thought about it, she would feel anxious, and her thoughts would start racing. So, she pushed it away again like stepping on it, keeping it under the water hopping it will drown and never resurface again. But no matter how many times she would step on it, it wouldn't drown. It kept coming back for her.
And the only times she would feel free would be in Yaz's arms with her lips on hers, feeling her hands trailing down her curves and her fingers in her hair. She was her light in the darkest of times, the serenity that calmed her mind.
But just for today she was truly happy from the bottom of her hearts. And there was a reason she was going to the lakes. It was to give a message to the wind and the morning sun for universe to grant her this one wish she had, that was life with Yaz.
"Hey, sleeping beauty..." she trailed a finger down Yaz's nose then wrapped her fingers around her face "Wake up Yaz darling" she said softly
"Mmmmm..." Yaz moaned and kissed her palm "five more minutes pleaseeee"
Clara smiled "Alright beautiful"
She let her sleep for another five minutes looking through the window then finally got her up.
...
It was still and very quiet outside, frost covered the grass and crackled under their feet. The cold air hit their cheeks as they held hands and walked towards the lake. Yaz was glad she got up even though her soul was still sleeping when they got to the lobby, now suddenly she woke up when cold air hit her lounges.
"Look Yaz" Clara whispered pointing at a does grazing in the distance
"Awwww...they are so gentle"
"So beautiful isn't it"
They came to the lake, and it was beautiful. A thin sheet of ice was forming at the edges, which sparkled like crystals in the soft light appearing from the sky. Clara stood behind Yaz and wrapped her arms around her waist lacing their fingers on her stomach. She rested her head on her shoulder and kissed her cold cheek. It was beautiful as the sky slowly became lighter and the sun rose behind the mountains.
"Look Yaz...it's waking up" she said quietly
"You know what day it is today?" said Yaz rocking gently in her arms
"What day beautiful?"
"First day of me being your future wife" she smiled turning her head to meet her gaze and Clara kissed her gently, deeply, and passionately one of those kisses that made Yaz fall apart in her arms
"I love you with all my hearts Yasmin"
"I'm so happy with you Clara...I've never been happier in my life" she leaned on her enjoying in a snuggle "There was something about you that spoke to my heart from the day I met you my love"
"I know what that was Yaz?"
"What darling?"
"Our hearts having a conversation"
Yaz giggled "Yeah? And was the conversation about?"
"Mmmm...something like...Hello you there...You seem familiar to me...Yea you seem familiar to me too...I like you...You know what...I think I like you too, that beat...that sounds familiar to me...Do you wanna go out for date? Yeah, I'd love too"
"You're so fucking crazy you know that" she laughed "But you'd be right...it was something like that...So what do they sound like when we kiss?"
Clara turned her around and reached for her hand sliding it between the layers of her clothing and pressed it to her hearts.
"Feel them Yaz" she wrapped her hand around her face kissing her slowly deeply her heartbeats quickened and felt like drums on Yaz's palm. Their energy traveling through her like fire burning through her veins. Yaz moaned into her mouth grabbing at the lapel of her coat. They pulled back their heads resting on each other breathless and happy.
"I really fuckin love you" Yaz said into her lips
"I love you too beautiful. So much...But you know what?"
"What love"
"I'm freezing" she said smiling making Yaz laughed
"You look like a strawberry babe...look at those cheeks my god" Yaz squished her face between her palms trying to warm her up "Come on...let's go to bed"
...
Yaz sank into the kiss moaning into her lips and looking into her half open dreamy eyes. Her leg was draped over Clara's side, her hand trailing her back. She was deep inside her moving slowly, gently in a steady rhythm, while her other hand rested lazily on the pillow with her fingers tangled in Yaz's hair.
Yaz didn't want to fly, not just yet. She just wanted to feel her, to have her inside her as long as she could, and Clara saw it in her eyes, so she took it slowly, kissing her and looking at her dreamily, whispering to her how much she loved her.
She herself could easily stay like this for hours without letting go because being inside Yaz was the best feeling ever, her warmth wrapping around her, soft and gentle, knowing she was hers and seeing her melt in her arms under her touch. Of all the wonders of the universe nothing compares to this. She loved watching Yaz's eyes close at every movement as he slowly drifted away, losing herself more and more with each stroke of her fingers. Her breathing quickened and soft moans left her lips as she quickens her pace. Yaz tucked her head into her neck and wrapped her arm around her.
For Clara it was amazing to watch. She trailed kisses down her face and then kissed her deeply, picking up the pace. Yaz moaned loudly wrapping around her pulling her inside. Clara rolled her onto her back and trailed her lips over her neck and down her breasts. She felt her fingers gather her hair and listen to her moans.
"Please...please don't" Yaz begged her fingernails digging into Clara's arm
"Fly for me Yasmin" Clara whispered brushing lips on hers and kissing her deep so deep Yaz was coming into her mouth letting her swallow her moans. She shuddered and slumped in her arms head tucked into her neck and her hand wrapped at the back of her neck. She curled up around her wrapping herself around her body
"I don't think I could love you anymore" she whispered into her neck and Clara kissed her head holding her tight
Clara gazed at her lovingly "I didn't think I could love you more than I already did beautiful, and yet I find myself loving you more each day"
...
Yaz ran her fingers down the curve of her hip trailing her whole body mapping it under the covers. She knew it so well now. Every curve, every freckle, every little detail. Like the tiny birthmark on the inside of her thigh that made her smile because only she was allowed to see it. It was hers, belonging only to her eyes. And there wasn't an inch of her body that her lips didn't touch and Yaz found that incredible. No one has ever belonged to her so much and she has never belonged to anyone like that.
They laid curled up gazing at each other.
"Hey wanna hear the news?" Clara said haply twirling Yaz's hair through her fingers
"Tell"
"My lawyer sent an email today...All the paperwork is ready for me to sign for the house"
"Really? ...OMG babe" Yaz brought her hand to her cheek kissing her exited
"That's it I'm paying it as soon as we come home darling and by the New Year it's ours...Mmmm also I got a catalogue for the conservatory. I want us to choose together"
Yaz's chin started to wobble
"Hey...no crying" she put her fingers at the ends of Yaz's lips stretching them into a smile "You are forbidden from crying over this missy"
The silly thing made Yaz giggle.
Clara wiggled and sat on the bed legs crossed all exited. "Aaaand...we have to talk other stuff as well Yaz...like wedding...I'm not fussed It's just a thing. In my mind you became my wife the moment I've put that ring on your finger, but I'll do whatever you want"
"Not sure babe...my mind is spinning I never had a wedding"
"And... Dress...do you want a dress? ...I suppose you do...traditional or classic?"
"I don't know...I have to talk to my mum love...OMG" Yaz sat on the bed as well seeing her all worked up
"And family I don't have any, but I know you have loads...Well I do have friends, many really I could call them. That would be weird, some are not even here...I'll have to take Tardis"
"You whaaa?" she frowned
"Nooo that's not the option not anymore...I'll think of something"
"Clara! ...slow down! ...OMFG you're gonna give yourself an aneurism" Yaz puts a finger over her mouth
"I'm just trying to think" she mumbled with a Yaz's finger still over her mouth
"We will sort everything out one by one...slowly...take a deep breath love"
"Alright...I'm just chuffed" she kissed her finger
"I can see that" she laughed stroking her hair and tucking it behind her ear "I've never seen you so exited...It's nice...But I'm still in shock I need a day or two to process it all"
"You have no idea how long I've waited Yaz"
"6 weeks?" she laughed
"In your terms in mine much longer" she reached for the back of Yaz's neck and pulled her in kissing her gently then slumping them back into bed
...
They were getting ready for another dinner, but Yaz didn't really want to go. She would never tell Clara this but cuddling in bed with her was more appealing than sitting around a table with a bunch of strangers. And as much as Clara called herself socially awkward, Yaz didn't think of her as such at all. She more than knew how to stand her corner and was incredibly chatty. And if social awkwardness meant being completely honest about what was on your mind, Clara was definitely it. But Yaz herself would have more than welcomed that kind of awkwardness because she just felt intimidated and embarrassed feeling that everything coming out of her mouth was wrong. She also couldn't help but feel that she didn't belong in this world.
She grew up in a working, middle-class family in Sheffield that usually had enough, but it was often a tight squeeze for her parents. She is used to looking at prices before ordering food or collecting coupons for discounts. Clara, on the other hand, didn't have to do any of that. But then she was also a definition of "Money can't buy happiness". Everything about this trip was magical and now she knew why Clara had chosen it too. But the magic stopped for Yaz the moment she had to come down and face the other guests. She hoped it didn't show on her face because she would absolutely hate herself for it and she would never want to offend Clara who had obviously put not only time, effort, and love into this, but a ton of money as well. Yaz knew because Sonya told her how a Christmas package in this place was about four and a half thousand pounds which made Yaz choke on her chicken nuggets.
She put on her beautiful dress and was happy with the way she looked though she still considered Clara to look way sexier. In fact, she was so anxious that it was easier thinking how Clara looked so good that she was already melting her to bits. Then she remembered earlier and felt herself getting worked up. She wasn't sure if her brain was malted, or she could seriously still feel her inside. Either way her brain was filled with filthy thoughts right now and she had to pull herself together if wanted to survive tonight.
"You look stunning" Clara came up to her and kissed her trailing fingertips down her back
"I can't even look at you babe or I'm not gonna last this evening" she giggled and cupped her bum pushing her forward
"Right...keep your hands there Yaz and I'm not even gonna make it to the dinner" she moved her hands from her ass to her waist making Yaz giggle
"Please don't leave me alone down there"
"No chance...I promise...please don't be nervous"
"I'm trying...I'm sorry"
"I adore you...you look beautiful. Let's go"
...
Reception was nice to her surprise and Clara introduced her to some lovely people. So, it made it easier. Also, she would either hold her hand or lightly place her palm on her back just as a reinsurance she was there.
"So, Yasmin, Clara tells me you got engaged yesterday. How lovely, congratulations"
"Thank you yes...well, still trying to get my head around it" she smiled a bit nervously
"So, you're a police officer...how interesting. Like a detective or?"
"No mam, traffic disputes mainly"
"Oh, I see"
"Yeah, much less existing. But it's how I met Clara so I'm not complaining"
"See my dear universe moves in mysterious ways. I met my husband when I was serving him fish and chips at the local joint" she laughed
"Really?"
"Oh yeah, I've worked in a shop, pub, fish and chips place you name it" she snapped her fingers laughing
"I see you're having a nice chat?" Clara said coming up behind her
"Hey love, yes we are" she smiled at her
"Brilliant...see told ya...Here's your drink" she smiled giving her a glass of juice
"So, Sharon where do you work?" Clara asked
"Oh, just part time for a Division"
"Excuse me?" Clara's face went whiter than usual, and she reached for Yaz's hand
"Oh, sorry...Charity organization in Guildford. We call it a Division...slang really"
"Right...if you excuse me...I'll be right back" she kissed Yaz's temple and went away
The woman kept talking but Yaz was worried about Clara. "I'm so sorry if you excuse me, I need to find Clara"
"No worries, dear"
Yaz spent good ten minutes trying to find her until she finally did. Sitting on the steps outside in cold. Fresh freezing air hitting her face. She felt her hearts beating fast in her chest like drums and she was trying to calm them down.
"Clara? ...OMFG Clara you will ketch a cold"
"Yaz go inside it's cold" she turned around
"No shit it's freezing...Not without you...why are you here?"
"Just needed fresh air"
"Bullshit...Clara...what's going on?" she comes in front of her, and Clara takes her hand pulling her closer
"Oh, Clara..." she sighed worried as Clara placed her head on her stomach.
Yaz threaded her fingers through her hair "I really wish you tell me love"
She kisses her stomach pulling her onto herself with her arms wrapped around her upper legs.
"Love ya" she lifts her head smiling and Yaz stroke her face moving her hair.
"Love you too Clara...but I would love you more if go inside and you don't sit on a cold stone"
"Come on let's go inside" she got up and placed a deep kiss on her forehead
Chapter 13
They pulled up in front of the house and Yaz could see on Clara she was absolutely exhausted. Apart from making a short few stop she was driving half of a day. She insisted on carrying suitcases and almost had a push and pull situation with her because she refused Yaz to carry them saying how she's built different and was much stronger. The truth was that Clara carried them with ease and Yaz could never figure it out. But nevertheless, she was tiered.
"It's nice to be home" Yaz said as they walked into the kitchen then
"It is but it also means you're going to work soon, and I hate it" Clara said taking her coat off and dropping it over the chair. Then pulled Yaz by the arm and practically slammed her into her chest "Can't I just keep you here all the time?"
"If money grew on trees babe yes...But unfortunately it doesn't" Yaz giggled kissing her "Hey, why don't you go and take a shower and rest for a while, and I'll make some food. How does that sound?"
"Sounds perfect. I swear I stink"
"No, you don't...I can assure you...you never do...but it will make you feel better"
"Alright darling" she kissed her head and went upstairs
Yaz put the dinner on and kettle for the tea. She looked outside and released it was snowing. Only lightly and it wasn't really gripping to the ground but nevertheless it was beautiful to see. She was happy they were home. This house became close to her heart, and she loved every corner of it. Now more so than ever it started to feel like a real home. She knew she had to call her mother, but she put it off because she was at a loss to say anything on the phone or wait until she actually saw her parents, so she decided to call her sister instead
"Sonya hi"
"Hey...are you back?"
"Yap...we just came in half an hour ago. We haven't even unpacked"
"How was it? "
"Beautiful absolutely stunning...but there's something else as well...are you alone?"
"No give me minute..."
She could hear Sonya leaving the apartment going outside "Now I am... What's wrong...did you have an argument.... Please don't say you're coming back home, or I'll kill you I just got the room"
"Noooo shut up...nothing like that...keep the room for fuck's sake...Listen...I don't know whether to say this on a phone or wait till I see mum and dad"
"What for fuck's sake...I know you're not pregnant" she laughed
"Oh, fuck off...No I'm not but I am engaged"
"You fucking whaaa?"
"Engaged...Clara popped a question for Christmas"
"I knew it...I fucking knew it...Didn't I tell you...I'm good...I'm really good...see you should listen to me more often...I saw how she looked at you Yaz...well I saw how you looked at her as well and it was embarrassing"
"OMFG where do you switch off...So tell me..."
"Sorry...tell you what? By the way I'm happy for you...She's ace"
"When do I tell mum and dad for fuck's sake Sonya?"
"Oh, that.... I'd wait...not over the phone. You know them...there's gonna be million questions and mum and nanny will whip you in to buy a dress next weekend...Not that you're in a rush...you're already banging each other's brains out...literally"
Yaz just cracked up laughing "You're fucking crazy you know that. I love you"
"I love you too...Are you happy?"
"I'm not just happy Sonya I feel like I'm going mad...I'm sure this isn't a normal behavior"
"I'm sure it is...My sis is getting married waaaw...I need to hurry up"
"Thanks Sonya...love ya"
"Love you too...bye babe"
"Bye"
She hung up then called her mum telling her how beautiful it was and how the trip went. And now she was exhausted. It was getting darker outside, and the garden looked beautiful. Snow started gripping to the ground and little snow fakes glistening in the garden lights.
Dinner was done and she walked upstairs to get Clara but when she came upstairs, she found her sleeping on the bed dressed up. Yaz sighed and came up to the bed. She took her cufflinks off and started unbuttoning her shirt.
"Hey" Clara woke up
"Hey, you...come on darling let me get this off you need to sleep"
She pulled her by the hand on the bed and curled up around her kissing her "I love you" she grinned
"I love you too, but you need to rest"
"I also need a shower...I also need a cuddle"
"Ok...it can all be arranged" she giggles running hands over her kissing her "Dinner is done"
"I can smell it" she said dotting kisses all over her face
"It's snowing" Yaz said rolling on top of her
"Is it?" she jumped exited
"Yap it looks beautiful"
"Alright...I'll be fast I promise" she tapped her bottom and rolled them around the bed kissing her one more time running hands down her sides
"Stop that I'm hungry"
"Me to Yaz" she said raising her eyebrow grinning
"Shower...now!!" she got off the bed giggling
...
Yaz woke up early the next day. It was a working day for her, and she was dragging her feet. She was already dressed having a tea and crumpets in a kitchen waiting for Clara to get dressed. She held her up this morning not letting her leave the bed which was way too tempting to say no to. So now her breakfast was cut shot, not that she was complaining. The garden was covered in a thick layer of snow but not the box. Yaz was now seriously bothered by this and trying to find some logical explanation to it in her head.
"It's beautiful isn't it" Clara said making her jump
She had a way of creeping up to her without one sound
"It is but all I'm thinking about is how I'm gonna spend most day outside and suddenly it doesn't seem so beautiful anymore" she said kissing her "Crumpet?"
"Mmmm...that's nice" Clara took a bite and was trying to get the last cuddle out of her before they separate "I'll miss you. I hate you doing this job you know Yaz. I think you're better than that" she kissed her temple and took tea "I will come late today sorting out the house and I need to go to uni today"
"Well, holiday is definitely over. I need to go babe" she kissed her short and grabbed her hat from the table "Love ya"
...
It was grueling day at work for Yaz. Snow was falling relentlessly, and she was outside most of the day. Car crash after a car crash. She texted Clara most of the day and got a reply almost instantly each time which made her heart warmer. She came back to the station late, her shift lasted almost twelve hours. Her body ached and she was frozen to the bone. Her trousers wet from the snow that at some point just turned into a slushy mess on the roads.
She came home to an empty house and popped shopping bags on a counter. She bought a quick dinner that only needed to be shoved in the oven. Clara was still out so she stacked up the fridge put the dinner on and went to take a shower.
It was almost eleven and Clara wasn't home yet. Yaz fell asleep on the sofa. It was dark where she was and she was all alone, very cold. Her heart was pounding, and she was in a lot of pain. She opened her eyes and saw her hand laying on the floor, but the pain was so bad she couldn't keep her eyes open, and she had no idea where she was or how she got there, the only thing she knew was that she was so scared. The last thing she remembers was that she was outside dealing with a traffic dispute. She started to panic, but she couldn't move. Her body was heavy and in so much pain it pierced her spine up to her head. And when she tried to move, she fainted from the pain, feeling that she was floating and coming back. The floor was cold and hard. And the darkness in the room was too thick to see anything. She tried to stand up again, but the pain was too great, and she couldn't, so she began to cry out of depression, tears rolling down her face falling onto the cold floor. She was scared, petrified a feeling she didn't even know existed, but mostly felt helpless thinking nobody knows where she was, she was all alone, how will anyone find her. But then she heard voices, a familiar voice Clara's voice and other people. She heard gunshots outside but couldn't move. Passing out from pain in and out of concussions. Someone called a doctor...and then shots fired. She saw Clara's face in blur and then a bright light shines in her eyes. She felt fear, horror seeping through her, consuming her every cell.
"Yaz! ...Yaz!"
She heard Clara but she couldn't move like she was there but not. Like something was holding her back and her mind was awake, but her body paralyzed.
"Yaz...wake up Yaz"
Yaz screamed from the bottom of her soul and finally opened her eyes. "NO... LEAVE ME ALONE" She was smacking Clara and shouting.
"Yaz it's me darling it's fine" she cupped her face "It's alright darling...love please it's me"
She finally calmed down and released she was home. Her heart racing, she was panting hysterically but Clara was right there holding her scared and worried out of mind. Yaz cried and threw herself into her arms shaking like a branch and she felt so cold. But she was home. She was so happy she was home.
"It's ok darling...I'm here...I'm here love" Clara rocked in her arms and Yaz was pulling her shirt clenching for it. She was scared out of her mind. The feeling still inside her and slowly going away slowly subsiding. Her tears were rolling down her face and all she knew right now was that she desperately needed Clara to hold her
"Don't leave me...please don't leave me" she cried grabbing on to her
"No chance...Never...Not in million years. It's fine darling I'm here" Clara rocked her but her face was like a stone worried her jaw clenched tight.
Yaz was finally calming down.
"I'm so cold" she said quietly, and Clara laid her back on a sofa and covered her with a blanket
She got up and went to the cabinet then zoomed a sonic around her and into her eyes and Yaz flinched.
"It's fine darling. Just looking that's all" she looked at the reading. Yaz's brain was like on fire. And her temperature plummet. She got up and frantically scanned the room.
"Yaz darling...I need to get something it will make you better. I'm not gonna leave you...I'm right here. I'll be back in literally two seconds"
"Promise" she said curled up on a sofa and Clara tucked her in kissing her head
"I promise darling..." she kissed her temple and ran out through the back door of the kitchen and bursting through the Tardis door clapping her hands. Tardis lid up instantly.
"I need you...I'm sorry" she ran around the console and flipped the monitor. Nothing, all clear, all normal. Tardis hummed and she quickly grabbed the shot and ampulla from the console "I owe you one. Love you" she said and zoomed out back to the house
Yaz was still on a sofa. Shaking, cold trying desperately to warm up but she couldn't. Her head was hurting so much she felt like she will throw up on the floor and she couldn't keep her eyes open but in a same time she was so scared to close them because she didn't want to end up back in that place. Clara came back and as soon as she did Yaz felt calmer.
"This going to hurt a little but it will make you feel better darling" she gave her shot and kissed her temple
"What happened? What's going on?" she asked shaking. Clara was kneeling by the sofa stroking her forehead. It felt nice and calming
"Sleep darling...It's gonna be ok"
...
Yaz felt a finger stroking her forehead right on the hairline. And it felt nice and calming, familiar sweet smell around her that felt like home. The lights in the bedroom were dimmed, she opened her eyes and Clara smiled at her softly
"Hey beautiful"
"Hi" Yaz said quietly and smiled
"How are you feeling?"
"Warm...What happened?"
"You had fever darling. You must have frozen at work"
"No but that place...It was horrible"
"It was a bad dream love. You were out for twelve hours Yaz in a freezing cold all wet. You came home and started burning up. It was just a nightmare from fever"
Clara gently ran a finger down her forehead and stroke that little part between her eyebrows, lulling her to sleep
"I was so scared...I didn't know where I was...It was dark, and I was in so much pain"
"Shhhhh...don't think about it now. Sleep darling. I called at the station you're staying home for next few days"
"Clara, I have to work, I just came back of the holiday"
"You're not going back to twelve-hour shifts on that weather Yasmin this isn't a discussion. Please sleep now...you need to rest"
"Don't go" Yaz said snuggling into her neck
"No chance...I'm not going anywhere" Clara kissed the top of her head and put her arms around her.
The next morning Yaz was burning up and her throat was like she swallowed razors. She was in a desperate need of a shower and her head felt like it was splitting in half
"Slowly babe" Clara said as she was getting her up "Just stand there I'll do everything. Hold on to me"
"Yaz held her shoulders wiles she was taking her clothes of. She felt so dizzy she could barely keep her balance
"Hands up love" she said and pulled her pajamas over her head "There we go...come on...Water is hot already you'll see it will make you feel better, and I made some nice soup. It won't hurt your throat"
"What would I do without you, ha?"
"Oh, I don't know Yaz...be lonely and miserable"
Yaz giggled "You silly sod...But you're absolutely right"
"I know I would be too lovely" she kissed her temple and helped her into the shower
"It's ok babe I can do this myself...you're gonna get all wet"
"No way Yaz...so what if I do, I can change"
"You just want to touch my body admit it" she giggled as Clara was spreading soap over her
"I could think of more romantic ways Yaz believe me than you burning in fever. But it's always nice to touch you, yes" she smirked looking up and put a foam on top of her nose "You just get better for me ok"
"Deal...that feels nice. I was really freezing yesterday, and my trousers were all wet from the slush in a first hour. When I came home, I couldn't feel my toes"
"Yaz...you're ill, so I'm not gonna talk about this now. But when you do get better, I want us to sit down and talk about you career choices"
"What do you mean?"
"What I mean Yaz is that I'm not working my ass of for my wife to stand for twelve hours in a freezing cold completely wet. It's inhumane.... but as I said when you get better" kissed her forehead and closed the water then took a big a fluffy towel and wrapped her up in it. "Come on love...slowly"
Yaz held her shoulder and got out of the shower. She felt better and she wasn't sure was it the shower or all the love she was getting from Clara or both. But she was completely overwhelmed and felt extremely emotional. Clara was drying her out with a towel occasionally glancing at her giving her a soft smile.
"I love you...so much Clara" she said with a wobbly bottom lip holding her shoulder as she was crouched down drying her legs
"And I adore you too" Clara cupped her face placing a short kiss on her lips "Come on let's get you dressed. Don't cry lovely...I got fresh pajamas for you"
She literally did everything for her, dressed her completely and brushed her hair even plaited it at the back.
"Right...you're all set. Are you ok to walk down?"
"Yes, babe don't worry"
They came downstairs and Yaz made herself comfortable on a sofa. Then Clara brought her a tray with a hot soup and went upstairs to change.
"I have to go now" Clara said from the hallway and came into the living room putting her coat on "But I made you a tea and you got everything in a fridge. Just don't walk too much please because you're wobbly on your feet.... Oh yes...shoot almost forgot" she zoomed to the kitchen and came back with strange contraption
"What's that?" Yaz said frowning
"Oh...just a shot...it will make you feel better"
"Whaaa? Where the hell did you get that from?"
"Doctor...remember" she winks and gives her a shot into her neck
"Ouch!"
"Sorry" she scrunched up her face and kissed her forehead "I really have to go now...no time darling. But I won't be long and please call me...text me anytime"
"I will promise. Love ya" Yaz said, and the door shut.
She heard the car leaving and sighed taking a remote control and switching tv on. Then she remembered she should really call her mum, so she picked up a phone
"Yaz is everything ok?"
"Hay mum...no not really. I'm ill"
"Oh honey...what's wrong? You do sound ill"
"I had a twelve-hour shift yesterday and froze solid. So now I'm pretty fucked up. I have fever since yesterday evening"
"Yaz...I don't know what to say to that. You know I'm proud of you, but this is hard job darling. I just wish you choose something different...you know...I'm either worried you're gonna get hurt or ill"
"I know mum Clara's been saying the same thing. And I must admit now after...Well I want to spend more time with her as well"
"Just think about it honey. Where's Clara?"
"Working"
"I can come over later. Bring you some food. I can finally see where you live as well"
"That would be nice"
"Mum..."
"Yes baby?"
"I really love you"
"I love you too baby, go and rest now...see you later. I'll come around three"
...
Clara walked slowly hands in her pockets. It was cold outside and a thick layer of snow on the ground.
"Could it be that something is seeping through?" Kate asked
"Maybe...possibly...no idea it could be just the fever. But it scares me, Kate. I want to tell her but not like this. This is not what I want not in this way"
"You will have to say something Doctor...anything. You can't keep this hidden forever"
"I know...I knew from the start but there's a part of me that wants to Kate. I'm happy like this...I just want to forget"
"I know...Just take it slow. She loves you, nothing will change that"
"And what if it does...what if what I've done changes everything"
"What you've done is out of love Doctor. It's more than any of us have ever done. Believe me she will understand that...just take it one step at the time. You have a lot to be happy about"
"I bought the house" she smiled
Kate smiles back at her "And a garden shed?"
She smiled from the corner of her lip "It's tempting but not this time"
"Talk to her...at least tell her who you are she needs to know and that can't do any harm...don't let that come from someone else because it will, and you know it will. It should come from you especially now she’s going to be your wife Doctor"
"You're probably right"
...
Yaz spent most of the day on a sofa watching Netflix. If she was absolutely honest with herself, she was bored to death. Being home and not working when Clara was around was one thing but being home all by herself and ill was totally different. She thought about what Clara said regarding her career choice. She loved her job most of the times but she felt for at least a year now like she was getting stuck and not moving any further forward and yet she had no idea how to change it. Not like she had a massive choice as a police officer. She also wanted a job that would be challenging, interesting, something that would give her a buzz. But she thought how perhaps she watched too many detective shows when she was younger and had a wrong perception about the job now when she got one. She didn't really see her herself standing in the pouring rain for hours or sorting out drunken idiots at concerts or being yelled at and getting insulted by people. But more she thought about it more she came to conclusion that Clara was right. She could also see it in her eyes that she was generally concerned about her.
A doorbell jolted her out of her thoughts.
"Mum" she smiled as she opened the door
"Hi honey" she kissed her cheek and walked in
"Oh, no mum don't take your shoes off...really...it's fine"
"But your floor?"
"It's just a floor mum"
"Beautiful house" she looked around
"I can't take you upstairs, but I can show you downstairs" she walked her mum around the ground floor proudly showing everything
"It's beautiful Yaz...loads of books" she said looking at the living room
"Yeah, that's Clara...she's got more...they are spreading all over the house" she giggled "Mmmmm...that smelled nice" Yaz shoved her face into the bag her mum brought
"Nannies recipe...your dad made it for you two"
"Wanna tea?"
"Yes, I do but I can make it myself" she puts her hand on her forehead "You're burning up Yaz...go and sit down I'm perfectly capable making a tea"
"Alright mum...everything is by the kettle you'll see. And just leave the food on the counter Clara will sort it out later"
"It's strange for me you know..." she yelled from the kitchen "...to come like this to my daughter someplace else. We miss you around the house you know. It's empty without you"
"I know mum...I'm happy but I do miss you too"
"There you go sweetheart" Nadjia put the teacup on the table
"Mum..."
"Yes baby?" Nadjia asked sipping a tea
"There's something I need to tell you...I was going to come over but now...Well..."
"What? Is everything alright?"
"Yes mum...more than alright" she holds out her hand with a ring
"Yasmin" she takes her hand looking at the ring then looks up to her "Is that?"
"Yap" she giggles "Don't be mad...please...I know what you're gonna say mum and I know it's soon but"
"But you love her" she finished her sentence razing her eyebrow
"I do mum with all my heart"
"Yaz I've always been honest with you" she said cupping her hand
"I know mum" Yaz could feel anxiety rising up inside her
"It is a bit soon...I'm not going to lie...And I do wish you got to know each other better before. But then I can't tell you or her how you feel. And if you two feel this is what you two want then...so do I"
Yaz through herself into her arms so fast Nadjia almost spilled her tea
"I love you mum"
"I love you too silly"
The car pulled up in front of the house and Yaz's face lid up "Clara!!!" she jumped
"Oh, hello Nadjia...what a nice surprise" she smiled surprised and hugged her as soon as she got up
"Hi honey" Nadjia said smiling
Then she walked up to Yaz worried kissing her forehead "Hi beautiful...You're burning up"
"I am... sorry" she pouted her lips
"I'll sort that out in a minute" she smiled brushing finger over her face
"I'm so chuffed you came over Nadjia...did you see the house?"
"I did part of it...and it's beautiful Clara"
"Let me show you the rest" she cheerfully took her upstairs and Yaz could hear her explaining everything about the paperwork and the conservatory.
All of these normal life situations were still so unusual for Yaz. But she was happy she got it off her chest telling her mother about the engagement. It was something that was bothering her more than anything in this world. Her family was extremely supportive in absolutely everything but going as far as actually getting married wasn't really something Yaz ever thought about. She wished it, dreamed about it. But never thought in million years would actually be doing it. And she had no idea how open her family would be to it either. Her heart was as big as this house, and she never felt more happier in her entire life.
"Alright girls I will not hold you for much longer and Clara you must be tiered from work as well"
"Thanks for stopping by mum" Yaz said from living room
"Oh...Yaz told me about engagement" Nadjia turned to Clara "I am happy for you two...A bit fast in my opinion. But as long as it makes you two happy"
"Time runs out Nadjia...we never know how much we have. It's silly to waist it" Clara said smiling
"Well, I suppose you are right in that Clara...we never know do we. Alright girls...see ya"
"Bye mum...Love ya" Yaz waived from the sofa
"How's my favorite person in a world?" Clara said softly coming back to the living room
"Cuddle" Yaz spread her arms making a puppy face
"Aaaawww...Oh boy someone's mushy today"
Clara gave her a massive bear hug then wrapped her fingers around her face "You're burning up darling" she said kissing her
"Don't kiss me...what if you get ill"
"I won't Yaz...I never do"
"I missed you so much"
"I missed you too...and I was worried about you" she said gently stroking her face "Food?"
"Mmmm...My head really hurts" Yaz rubbed her face into her neck totally melting and Clara couldn't help a wicked thought how Yaz was so adorably cute when she was ill. She also completely enjoyed in taking care of her as well. It was one of the ways she could really show her how much she loved her by being there for her when she really needed her.
"Dad sent some yummy food" she looked up smiling and her beautiful big brown eyes glistening from temperature
"Alright darling I'll heat it up and get changed, you get your cute bum back on a sofa and choose a movie"
...
A week has gone since they've came back from the trip. Yaz was still home as her sick leave hit the New Year holidays and Clara wasn't keen on her going back to work specially not for New Year's Eve with loads of drunks around. Their holidays passed quietly as Yas was feeling pretty bad for days anyway with her fever coming and going and she hasn't had much sleep. She spent most of the day on a sofa curled up in a blanket watching Netflix whilst Clara took over everything. She would go to work during a day and then come home in the evening making dinner for both of them including helping Yaz essentially over everything including those things Yaz was perfectly capable of doing herself. But Yaz could see she was genuinely enjoying in taking care of her and spoiling her, so she wasn't complaining and just letting her do it secretly enjoying in it herself.
She would also bring her some treats from the store each day and let her choose a movie every evening.
By the New Year's Eve Clara finalized the purchase of the house and now they actually had a home. A concept that was still very strange for Yaz. Within month and a half, she got a girlfriend who is now her fiancé and a new home. For most part she felt like her head was spinning but as far as she was concerned it was spinning in a right direction, so she didn't care or ask about it too much.
"Yaz darling...come here for a minute" Clara called from the study
"Yes babe?"
"Come here" she reached for her hand pulling her into her lap "Help me choose" she opened the catalogue with conservatories
"OMG there's so many"
"I know I'm having a head wonk...different windows...different roofs...different doors. By this rate I won't choose one till next Christmas and that would be weird"
"I like the ornate roof"
"Me too...and slanted for the rain...I want something more old fashion. Look how beautiful this one is"
"Yeah, it would go nice with the house...What about the shed darling?"
"What about the shed Yaz"
"Well, you will have to move it when conservatory comes"
"We will move it then" she smiled and kissed her cheek
"Clara...what's the story with that shed?"
Clara clenched her jaw "What do you mean darling?"
"Honey...I am police officer you know...and you know I love you, so I don't really ask many questions. But that's not because I'm stupid it's because I'm actually waiting for you to tell me yourself...You know...to trust me enough Clara"
"I do trust you Yaz...I trust you completely...but what does my shed have to do with it? You're losing me"
"No darling I'm not...look at me love" she turned her face "Look you never use that thing...ever"
"I lost a key Yaz"
"We can call the locksmith...and yet you acutely have a fuckin name for it, you're also referring to it in a female gender"
"Lots of people name inanimate objects"
"Clara...that thing is never covered by frost or snow. I actually don't have a logical explanation for it."
"I do...there's a tree over it Yaz"
"Babe...You don't have to tell me now...and I'm not gonna push it either. Because I don't think you're like hiding dead people in it. And I absolutely love you to bits. But I'm going to be your wife Clara...and I would really like to know"
She could see Clara is getting nervous and just staring at the catalogue, so she didn't want to push it anymore and dropped it for now
"I love you silly...we can move the shed ok" she cupped her face and kissed her deeply "Come on let's choose the conservatory...I like this one"
"I love you Yaz" Clara gazed at her eyes beaming with so much love "I love you very much and I do trust you completely"
"And I you always. That will never change darling regardless of what you're hiding in that beautiful head of yours...I want you to know that" she strokes her face kissing her then looked down to the catalogue smiling "I like that one too. I think we should get it"
"Alright...let's see the choice of windows...all hounded of them" she laughed
Chapter 14
It was March and Yaz woke up early. She was excited because this Saturday was the day, she went wedding dress shopping with all the women in her family. Telling her nanny that she was marrying a woman was not easy, but after several talks with her mother and father, she finally accepted it. She told Yaz it was just because she was her favorite granddaughter and as long as she didn't watch them kiss, everything was fine. She was probably the only person in Yaz's immediate family that she was extremely concerned about. She would never like to lose her nanny, but this was something that Yaz simply couldn't see her accept. And she didn't at first either. The first conversation left Yaz in floods of tears and her nanny sitting next to her looking in the opposite direction.
She came home to Clara crying her soul out. Clara called the whole thing a family circus over humanity's unnecessary obsession with the sexes. Yaz wanted a very small private ceremony and Clara was fine with that. She herself had no family and Yaz although it was appropriate to have something small and intimate. In the end, it was a celebration of their love for each other, not a show for the whole extended family, which would have just created more problems anyway, and Yaz just couldn't deal with that. She had long conversations with Clara and her take on the whole thing helped her immensely. She was the kind of person who just stayed out of it all and didn't really care what other people thought about it. She has said many times that only the two of them are important to her and that she does not depend on anyone else or give monkeys about anyone else either.
Yaz also had a new job. She left police and started working as a security in a local Sainsbury. It wasn't perfect but it gave her more time with Clara and it was temporary thing until she finds something better. It also gave her more time for wedding preparations as well.
Yaz was in a kitchen making tea and having a breakfast watching Clara through the window clearing up the garden. She looked as adorable as always in her little blue trousers that didn't reach and muddy boots. Yaz found it extremely cute and sexy when she wore her white long sleeve top and rolled up her sleeves. She had an absolute obsession with her arms that she very really exposed but when she did it was like a treat for Yaz that she couldn't get enough of. It was silly because she knew and kissed every inch of her body on everyday basis but still, she liked her little obsession.
"Morning my favorite sexy gardener" Yaz came to the garden with two cups of tea
"Hey...How come you're up this early on Saturday?" Clara smiled surprised to see her
"Wedding dress remember"
"Oh...yes...sorry I did forget" she scrunched up her nose "Give me second...I just need to finish this"
She banged in a last nail into the fence then discarded the hammer on the ground wiping her hands into her trousers and walked over to Yaz wrapping fingers around her face kissing her softly like she always would every morning.
"I was just thinking about making a tea. You read my mind Yaz"
"What's with the fence?"
"Badger...He is a stubborn bugger so I will make a hole for him later on. At least he won't break it every week. So, are you exited?"
"I'm dying babe" Yaz said smiling nervously
Clara brushed her thumb over her face "Can't wait to see what you will choose"
"I don't want to go nuts with it...you know something nice but not over the top"
"Choose whatever you want Yaz...you will know when you see it"
"I'll call you"
"You better" she laughed
"Right, fuck...I'm going to be late" she said kissing Clara one more time and tapped her bum just because she could
"Alright go...Love ya"
"Don't work too much" she said and left
...
"So did you think about the color?" Sonya asked from the back seat of the car
"Red... definitely red" Yaz said smiling
"Mmm...gold would suit you as well you know"
"I don't want to go overboard Sonya it's only going to be you lot, gold is for big weddings"
"I still think you could have found a nice man Yaz" nanny said from the back
"Nanny please" Yaz said frowning
"Clara is nice woman...and they are happy together. That's all that matters" Nadjia commented "And can we please all agree on this once and for all mum. My daughter deserves to be happy finally. So can we not have a family drama at least today"
"I want Yaz to be happy. I never said I didn't. So, what is she going to wear Yaz?" Umbreen said clearly confused with a matter
"She normally wears suits so probably a suit nanny. But we did talk about more traditional options as well. I don't know...but definitely not a dress"
"Does she ever wear a dress?"
"No nanny she doesn't...Does it really matter?" she frowned
Sonya rolled her eyes and couldn't keep her mouth shut no more "You do know women wear man's clothing for centuries now nanny and you do actually know that boys used to wear dresses like fifty years ago...in fact there was no difference between clothes for boys and girls when they were toddlers until early 20th century" Sonya added making a point of how utterly ridiculous this conversation was in her mind. She loved Clara's style and knew just how much her sister was obsessed with it as well. She also wanted this to be her sister's happy day not the one where she will have to listen for a whole day how she's marring a woman.
They were finally at the store and Yaz's brain was bursting with choices. She was slowly getting lost, and she started to panic. But to her surprise, her nanny suddenly took complete control and made the woman take out all the red dresses. She also knew the small details in the quality of the design and was practically rude to the shop owner in expressing her opinion about it. Yaz stood in the dressing room dressed from head to toe in a stunning red dress beautifully embroidered with gold. She felt her chin wobble and her eyes fill with tears.
"You look like a dream sweetheart," Nadjia peered through the fabric of the dressing room, and Yaz fell to pieces.
"Mum" she turned around and tears rolled down her cheeks
"Hey darling" Nadjia placed her palm on her cheek gently "I think you found the one" she smiled gently
"It's expensive"
Clara was buying a gown and her parents paying for the wedding. It was an agreement they finally came to after a month of going back and forth and Clara not understanding why anyone would be paying for her wedding.
"Wanna give her a call?" her mum said stroking her face gently. Her eyes filling with tears as well seeing her daughter dressed like this.
"Yeah" she smiled through tears
"Soo did you find it?" Clara asked straight away before Yaz even said anything
"It's like dream love but it's expensive"
"I didn't ask you about the price Yasmin, I asked you if you like it?"
"I do love"
"Then tell them I'll come and settle it on Monday. Can I see it?"
"Nooo, silly you can't it's bad luck" she giggled still crying
"Arrrhh...alright then. Guess I'll have to wait then" she said disappointed
"Oh, mum wants to talk to you. I love you"
"I love you too"
"Clara honey"
"Hi Nadjia...How does she look?" Clara asked excited
"She is absolutely gorgeous. But when you come to pay you should have a look maybe for yourself, they have beautiful stuff"
"Thank you Nadjia. I will definitely consider it. She's like a dream, isn't she?"
"Yeees she looks a dream love...you will see in time" she laughed "Bye darling"
"Come ooon Yaz let us see it" Sonya was jumping exited outside
Yaz came out and everyone just started getting really emotional. Even her nanny wiped her tears.
"Yaz OMG...girl you look amazing" Sonya said through tears
"You do look very pretty love" her nanny came up to her and kissed her cheek "But this is way too big on her and it will have to be adjusted" she turned to the shop owner "I trust you will do a good job on it"
"Yes of course mam. It takes two weeks for adjustments"
"That's fine, my wedding isn't till June" Yaz said
...
It was almost four o'clock when Yaz came back to the house. She parked in a garage and took shopping bags out. Clara wasn't in the garden, but her tools were still on the ground.
"Darling...I'm back" she yelled but there was no response
Suddenly as she was walking towards the back door towards the kitchen, she saw blood on the patio, first she thought it was red paint, then she realized when she got closer, there was a trail of blood on the stone tiles. Her legs went and she dropped the shopping. She felt her body break out into a cold sweat and her mind go blank.
"Clara!!!" she yelled and ran into the kitchen
"Don't panic it's nothing" Clara stood above the kitchen sink with her hand underneath the tap. The floor was covered in blood and so was Clara
"OMFG...Clara..." she walked closer and saw a huge gash on her arm, a cut literally from her wrist all the way to her elbow "Fuuuuck!!!!"
"Don't panic it's fine it's just a cut"
"Cut? ...Fuck Clara...no that's not just a cut what the fuck...how?"
"Chainsaw I tripped. Get me that kitchen towel" she nods with her head
"Chainsaw!!!!! I have to tie up that arm to stop the bleeding" she grabbed the cloth and tore the belt of her trousers "You need to go to the hospital now!" she said trying to tie up the arm
"Noo!" Clara yelled "It's fine" she put the belt on the kitchen top
"Don't be stupid...I'm calling the ambulance"
"Yasmin you're not...put that phone down!!" she yelled at Yaz quite harshly
Yaz looked at her confused phone already on a dial. Clara took her hand out of the sink and wrapped the kitchen cloth over the wound. Yaz almost threw up on a floor seeing how massive and deep it was.
"Clara, you need a doctor. What the fuck are you doing? Put the hand up you're gonna blead out. I'm calling the ambulance" Yaz was shaking trying to dial the number basically ignoring what she was saying.
Clara tilted her head and pursed her lips.
"Yasmin!!!" she shouted quite loud "Look!!!!" she lifts her hand, and her palm was glowing orange light "It's fine it will heal in an hour" she said calmer
Yaz dropped the phone staring at her shiny palm. It was as if someone had turned on a light under her skin. Her brain instantly froze paralyzed, yet she had questions but felt empty and scared. Clara lowered her hand and reached her other arm around Yaza's shoulders, pulling her to her chest.
"I'll be fine, I promise. I love you," she kissed her head while holding her to her chest and was saying something, but Yaz couldn't hear it. She was looking at her hand. The kitchen towel fell on the bloody floor. The huge cut on her arm was no longer bleeding, and an orange haze was swirling around her entire arm. She didn't know what to think. Her mind was still blank as if someone had stopped time. Then the mist disappeared, and the wound looked like it was days old. Yaz pulled back, staring into Clara's eyes that were looking back at her
"Yaz?" she said quietly. It was more of question than a statement and Yaz knew she was looking for some sort of reaction, but she had none in her to give. Instead, she lowered her gaze to the floor at all the blood on white tiles. It was now smeared from their shoes. It was Clara's blood on that floor and seeing it made her stomach turn inside out. She picked up the cloth and went down on her hands and knees wiping it, but it was just smearing even more.
"Yaz? Please stop doing that" Clara bent down but Yaz ignored her mopping the floor without saying a word. She saw a tear falling on the tile and she grabbed her shoulders "Yaz please talk to me" she picked her up and looked at her scared. She had no idea what to expect and could see that Yaz was in complete shock.
"Just hold me…" Yaz whimpered, and Clara sighed in relief as she pressed her against her chest again
"Everything will be fine. I love you very much" she kissed her head and ran her fingers through her hair holding her tight. Yaz broke down crying, tears rolling down her neck, Clara felt them trailing down her skin and her hands clutching her shirt like for dear life.
They haven't said anything for nearly an hour. Left the kitchen in a complete mess and just layed on a sofa in silence. Clara was cuddling her, running hand down her back and kissed her head numerous times.
Yaz was listening to her hearts and tracing her finger over the scar on her hand that was healing by the minute. She had no logical explanation for anything that she just witnessed but at this point she wasn't looking for one either. She was just relieved Clara was fine.
"Does it hurt?" she asked kissing it softly
"Not anymore" she smiled kissing the crown of her head once more
"I should clean up the kitchen" she said quietly and looked up meeting Clara's gaze
"No, you won't. I'll do that" she said quietly brushing a finger over her forehead and on that little spot between her eyebrows she knew always calmed Yaz. She was scared and anxious and kept waiting for Yaz to start asking questions that never came in a past hour.
"I love you Yaz, you do know that?"
"Is that a question or statement?"
"Both"
Yaz shifted and sat on her running hands over her chest then smiled lightly. And that smile made Clara feel like a ton of bricks fell off her shoulders "I will always love you...even though you do glow...Besides I just chose my wedding dress today and it's way too pretty to give it back" she smiled and bend down kissing her
"I'm so sorry Yaz" she ran her thumb over her cheek gently
She lifted her eyebrow "For what? Getting your arm almost chopped off, scaring the fucking shit out of me or that thing we still need to talk about?"
"All of the above...and more" she had the softest face and eyes filled with fear.
But all Yaz wanted now was to feel her hands. All she was thinking about now was how she was relieved Clara was fine and safe. She really didn't care about anything else. Which she probably should because any other normal person would. In fact, most of the normal people would have million questions in their head, and she did but in her mind it could wait. The most important thing was that they were in this together, whatever this thing was, which Yaz had somehow already come to a conclusion in the last hour, and it was so out of the normal parameters that her brain couldn't handle it right now. She only cared about her and Clara and that she was okay and that they were okay. Because whatever this thing was, she was ready to take it on and wasn't going to let her go anyway. So, it could wait.
"You know what I want?" Yaz said tucking her hair behind her ear
"I'll do whatever you want"
"I want us to clean up that mess in the kitchen and that shopping I dropped outside. And I want us to cook the most wonderful meal together. Then we'll sit on the sofa watching a movie and somewhere in between or after I want to make love to the most beautiful woman, I love with all my heart. Because I refuse to let any of this crap ruin today. And everything else can wait. And you know why?"
"No Yasmin Khan...I don't" she said with tears in her eyes brushing her thumb over her face
"Because we have a whole life to figure it out together. So, we can start tomorrow" she smiled, and Clara was swallowing marbles by this point gazing at her not believing what is coming out of her mouth. She pulled her for kiss deep and passionate. One of those that made Yaz stop breathing for a moment and make her fly to the stars
They did just that. Cleaned up the whole kitchen including the patio and picked up battered shopping from outside. Clara was unusually quiet and Yaz unmistakably knew why. She could see she was walking on eggshells and for a while she didn't say anything but now the kitchen was clean, she decided to break the silence, so she came up to her pulling her braces and rubbing her face into her chest
"Hey, you" Clara threaded her fingers into her hair
"Hey yourself" she kissed her neck and trailed her hands at the back of it "Let's take a shower ha? We both need one"
She took her arm and was once again shocked to see that it was almost healed completely. And at this point she didn't give monkeys how, she was just happy that it was. So, she pressed her lips to the inside of her wrist and then gazed at her eyes that made her get lost in them. "I really fuckin love you my beautiful light bulb" it made Clara chuckle
"Light bulb Yaz?" she brushed her hair with her hand but what she really wanted to do is crush her in her arms from love she felt for her. She picked her up and popped her on a kitchen top "You are amazing human being Yaz"
"And you're amazing alien...That's what you are right? Either that or I'm seriously tripping on something"
Clara craned her neck laughing "You're not tripping Yaz"
"I don't really give a fuck what you are I still love you and I'm marring you"
Clara couldn't stop laughing. Out of all the scenarios she ever had in her head about this conversation, this was never on the menu. "I would like that Yaz" she looked up at her
"You're not gonna fuck off now, right? And leave me? And go to wherever it is that you come from" her eyes filled with tears
"No potty mouth. Don't cry...I'm not going to leave you ever as long as you breathe. Besides I would miss that dirty mouth of yours"
"Good...then we have a deal. We can sort out all the rest as we go along. Cause my brain is exploding and I really can't think now" she slumped her head on her shoulder "The dress is beautiful by the way. I was gonna tell you all about it"
"I can't wait to see you in it Yaz. Come on let's take a shower and you can tell me everything" she scooped her up and took her upstairs...
...
The lights of the bedroom were dimmed and the towels from their shower left scattered on the floor together with dirty clothes covered in blood they discarded on one pile.
Yaz moaned into her lips quietly stroking hair at the back of her neck then ran her hand down her chest and trailing it over her waist and down her sides feeling her muscles move underneath her skin as her hips were rolling over her in steady pace, her weight pressing her into mattress gliding over her like through the water.
Clara trailed her hand down the side of Yaz's leg slumped over her hip and wrapped fingers around her neck, running her thumb over her lips looking at her closing her beautiful brown eyes getting lost underneath her. She needed her today more than air in her lounges. Needed to see her face as she was drifting away taken by the passion. She had to feel her underneath herself warm and soft melting in her arms and under her touch.
They were both trying to forget what happened earlier. Both knowing they will have to address it but now they needed each other more. The shower washed the blood but also fear, fear they both had of losing each other in one way or another.
She kissed her hard, deep, passionate and raw sucking the air out her lungs are what Yaz needed from her, and Clara was giving this to her. She would give her the stars from the sky if she could tonight. Yaz grabbed her hip pulling her closer moving with her in a steady rhythm, feeling her lips trailing down her neck and over her face capturing her lips
"Fly for me" Clara said gazing into her eyes and pressed her wrist into the pillow
Yaz moaned loudly and Clara swallowed her whimpers feeling her shuddered underneath her
"Don't stop" Yaz whispered into her lips breathlessly grabbing the back of her neck "I want to feel you come apart on me" she kissed her hard depending the kiss wrapping fingers around Clara's face and pulling her hips onto herself
"Shoot" Clara craned her head leaning on Yaz's shoulder breathing deeply into it, her cheeks blushed and hair sticking to her face, she felt her thighs tremble hands clenching the pillow each side of her head
Yaz stroke gently the nape of neck "I really fuckin love you" she said into her lips kissing her messy "You're so beautiful like that...I love to feel you like this" she kissed her softly
"I could die like this Yaz, and I'll be happy"
"I bet you would" she giggled moving hair from her face kissing her "But please don't"
Clara slumped on the mattress next to her and looked at her smiling still trying to catch a breath "I need water" she scrunched her face "...and food" she laughed
"I'm not surprised you do" Yaz slumped on her chest kissing her "that was hard work you did there" she giggled.
Clara pushed her playfully putting her palm over her face "You cheeky bugger"
"I have a battered microwave dinner"
"Fine with me" she looked at her smiling "I really love you"
"You better after what you put me through today. And we are getting a gardener...Just so you know"
"I just slipped...the ladder was wet from the rain last night"
"I don't care!!...You scared the fucking shit out of me"
"I'm so sorry Yaz...I know I did" she kissed her head and pulled the covers over them
"I'm just happy you're ok.... I can't imagine losing you" she kissed her chest snuggling up
"You're not darling...It takes a lot more to get rid of me believe me"
"I'm not interested how much more...I just need a cuddle"
"Me to Yaz...And food...and water" she laughed
"We have squished lasagna...five minutes in the oven"
"Perfect" she smiled and kissed her head
"And I can get you water when I can walk again" she giggled
Chapter 15
It was early Friday morning and Clara was getting ready for work. Yaz was still sleeping, and she was trying to be as quiet as possible so as not to wake her up because it was her day off. She was taking her out on a date today and she wanted to make it special to make up for all the fear she put her through last weekend
She hadn't asked much in the past week since the incident and Clara wondered why. She half assumed it was simply shock. This was definitely not the way she was going to tell her.
If she was truly honest with herself, as much as she desperately wanted to say everything, she would also be perfectly happy to say nothing at all and just continue living the life she absolutely adored. It came as a much-needed brake that was long overdue. She was beaten, tortured, and exhausted mentally and physically to the point where she had to stand still, just for a moment. And how she imagined that moment was this. Standing by the lake in the middle of nowhere holding Yaz looking at the sunrise, making love to her for hours lost in her arms. But that's not what her life was, and her shadows would never let her. They were inevitable and Kate knew it, that's why she said what she did to Clara. She was one of those people who had them herself and understood all too well the desperation of trying to balance the two worlds.
There was so much more she needed to say, and she was painfully aware that sooner or later she would have to deal with it. But she tried to live in the moment of what they had, while they still had it.
She brushed the hair away from Yaz's cheek and watched her beautiful face nestled peacefully into the soft pillow. It was one of the most beautiful things to behold, as beautiful as stars and planets being born. She pressed her lips into her silky hair and pulled the duvet over her bare shoulders before leaving.
Yaz sat in a kitchen having her tea and crumpets on her usual favorite place right by the window looking outside into the garden. She was happy to have a day off, but she was sad Clara wasn't going to be around for most of the day. So, she planned to meet her sister and do some wedding shopping. Her sister already chose a dress from the same store where Yaz picked her wedding dress from, but she needed shoes to go with it. Their nanny gave them both beautiful jewelry she brought from Punjab as young woman. It was belonging to her mother before and went back several generations. Her nanny kept it in special box and only allowed them looking at it in her presence when they were little saying how one day it will be theirs on their wedding day. Little did her nanny know that she will not only be marring a woman but also an alien from some other world. A concept that Yaz was trying to get used to and make sense of in her brain. It was one of the reasons why she hadn't asked any questions because in some bizarre way she felt like she already knew all the answers.
Yaz would go back many times to that rainy day when her trousers were wet, and she was shivering from the cold and the woman's voice seemed to speak to her soul.
She would also go back to that day in the car park of a pub halfway to Oxford when Clara's fingers brushing her face made her shudder and lose herself in her gaze.
Their first kiss when her knees buckled in her hands. Or on their first night together when her lips touched her skin for the first time and when looking at her bare in front of her felt like a dream.
Clara had always felt like a part of her that was lost, someone who slotted into her perfectly, figuratively and literally as if they belonged together from the very beginning. They both knew it from the first day they laid eyes on each other. There was some invisible bond between them that only the two of them could feel, it wove around them as if the universe itself had brought them together, made them for each other. So, in her mind she already knew Clara, or rather every single inch of her, and this thing didn't change at all. Whoever Clara was, in her mind it was the same person she fell in love with, the person she held in her arms every night, and she didn't care about the rest. The rest were exciting, intriguing layers of Clara that she was happy to discover, and she was sure that more she would discover, more she would love her. What worried her much more was that the woman she loved was troubled. She wondered if she was running away, and if so, from what. Was it her past or someone who tried to harm her or both. Yaz didn't know. The only thing she knew was that they were in this together now, and whatever that was, she was ready to to take it on.
Her phone rang and it was Clara. She set a ring tone Katy Perry E.T and made Clara choke on her tea when she released what she's done.
The truth was Yaz took it all as easy as breathing same as everything else connected to Clara from the moment she met her.
"Hey love...missed me already?"
"I always miss you Yaz...going out with your sister?"
"Yap, she needs shoes for the wedding"
"Ok, just wanted to remind you we are leaving at seven"
"You told me three times and sent me a text babe" she laughed
"I know...just needed excuse to call you really..."
"That's adorable..."
"You know me...adorable all over babe"
"And hot and sexy and I need to stop now because I'm gonna start licking my phone"
"Ewww Yaz...please don't do that do you know many bacteria is on that phone"
Yaz cracked up laughing "I have to rush now babe...I'm late. Love ya"
"Have fun...love you too Yaz...seven remember"
Yaz laughed rolling her eyes "I know babe seven...miss ya. Bye love"
"Kisses!"
Yaz still laughed picking up the keys from the kitchen top.
...
"Yaz you really need to choose a venue you know" Sonya said as they sat down for a coffee
"I know and we will...just need to look a bit more"
"What do you want girl?"
"Beach would be nice" she smiled dreamy
"In England?" she frowns "Seriously?"
"Brighton is nice"
"Hardly tropical Yaz"
"But it's romantic..."
"Oh god" Sonya rolled her eyes "...ok you want me to look?"
"Help please..."
"Alright I'll put you both on WhatsApp group and send you some stuff. What's Clara gonna wear in the end"
"She found something in that store, but I have no idea what. I just know it's blue"
"Nice...Well that's ten points in nanny's book for her going traditional" she laughed "Yaz what about her family?"
"She doesn't have any Sonya"
"You're joking right?"
"No, I'm not...she's got no-one babe"
"OFMG that's so sad Yaz" she dropped in a chair and then had a thought "Well, she's got us now" she smiled
"OMG Sonya...that's the most beautiful thing you ever said to me...she does babe and she's so happy about it I can't tell you. She's got dad Father's Day present can you believe it.... braces" she laughed
"OMG...that's fucking great" she cracked up laughing
...
Yaz parked up and saw Clara's car. It made her happy she was home earlier.
"Hey babe...I'm home" she heard voices from the kitchen "Babe?"
There was a man standing in their kitchen and turned around as she walked in. Had a massive smile on his face when he saw her
"Yaz darling..." Clara smiled walking over to her kissing her temple "This Dan my very good mate"
"Hello, Yasmin Khan nice to meet you Dan"
"Yaz, it's so nice to see you" he came over and hugged her leaving her looking at Clara confused over his shoulder. But Clara just smiled all happily
"Hiiii...Yeah nice to meet you" she said confused
"Dan came over from Liverpool. Quite a surprise Yaz" she was beaming "Would you be terribly upset if we move our thing for tomorrow and we all go out for a meal together tonight?"
"No love it's fine absolutely fine" she said placing shopping bags on a counter
"I'm sorry I didn't know you had plans I would..."
"No seriously it's fine...it's Friday...we can go tomorrow" Yaz said "It's really nice to meet Clara's mate. So how do you two know each other"
Dan turned to Clara for an answer, and she stepped in immediately "We used to travel together...and worked together...work travel...travel work" she smiled
"Oh, that's nice...So I'm gonna go and get dressed. I see you're ready?" Yaz placed her palm on Clara's chest leaning on her smiling
"Alright darling" she kissed her forehead and Yaz went upstairs
"You alright Dan?" she said worriedly leading him to the living room
"Not really. This is not easy"
"I know, I'm sorry" she looked at him full of compassion. She knew exactly how he felt all too well "I'm glad you came though" her bottom lip wobbled a bit and Dan pulled her in for a hug
"C'mere" he squeezed her tight "I'm so glad you're happy Doctor. That's the most important thing, hey?" he pulled back and lightly brushed his finger over her face. She gazed back at him her eyes filling with tears "Cheer up Doctor...Things are good, and they will stay that way this time...You'll see" he nods smiling
"You are coming for the wedding Dan!" she pointed finger at him
"Are you kidding me Doctor?" he smiled sitting on a sofa "Wouldn't miss it for the world. She's beaming"
Clara smiled "She is...we both are...She's swearing a lot as well" she laughs "...right potty mouth I tell you...She even told me to fuck off can you believe it?" Dan cracked up laughing
She walked the room with hands in her pockets "Strange ha...how life goes"
"Did you go anywhere...you know with the old box?"
"Nope...not this time...I'm not risking anymore"
"Miss it?"
"Sometimes...then I look at her and I don't...Never thought I'd say that" she grins
"Never thought I hear you say that either" he laughed
"How long did it take you?"
She scrunched her face "Ahhh...not that long couple of years"
"How many is couple?"
"57 years, 6 months, 23 days"
Dan put his hands over his face shocked "Blimey Doctor"
"Neah" she waives her hand dismissing "It was worth it" she nods
"I don't know how you do it? I'd go bonkers honest"
"I am bonkers Dan... What are you talking about" she laughed
"Hey...I'm all done" Yaz came into the room in cute blue evening dress to her knees "Not too much. Right?"
"Absolutely not, you look adorable Yaz" Clara smiled
"You look very lovely Yaz" Dan said
"Thanks Dan" she smiled "Shall we then?"
...
"So, Dan where do you work?"
"In a museum in Liverpool. I'm a tour guide. My wife works there as well, Di. Hope you meet her soon"
"That's interesting. So, one day when we visit, we have a personal guide"
"Sure, thing Yaz...any time I'd love you to come and visit. You Yaz? Still in a police?"
"Oh, I see Clara was talking about me" she glanced at her smiling "Actually no, not anymore. I'm working as a security in shop. It's just temporary until I think of something else"
Evening was flowing nicely and Yaz got to like this new friend. He was nice and kind and she felt like she'd known him forever. They kicked in few sentences and laughed bantering.
But evening was coming to its end, and they dropped Dan off to the hotel and were on their way home.
"Had a nice time?" Clara asked driving back
"Yeah, I like him...he's sweet"
"Yaz darling, you haven't asked me anything since what happened"
"No...and I won't either"
Clara glanced at her shortly "I thought you wanted to know?"
"I do. I want to know everything about you, where you come from why you are here, what you did, places you've been to and people you met. But I also want this to be on your terms and not mine"
"I don't understand Yaz"
She turned towards her gazing at her gently "I want you to tell me when you're ready to tell me love. Not me probing you. Told you we have a whole life to figure this out"
Clara gulped and placed her hand on her leg giving her a gentle smile "I love you Yasmin" she turned her gaze back on a rode "I love you so much"
They came home and Clara reached for her hand seamlessly lacing their fingers as Yaz came to the kitchen.
"What?" Yaz turned smiling
"C'mere here" Clara pulled her in slipping her hands around her waist and kissing her gently then just gazed at her in silence
"What love?" Yaz said stroking the back of her neck "Bedroom?" she giggled
"Mmm" Clara scrunched up her nose "Definitely...but in a minute"
"You being romantic on me?"
"Maybe..." she smiled cheeky and lifted her up on the counter wrapping hands around her waist then gave her a little smile that always melted Yaz's heart. She spoke calmly and quietly gently rubbing hands over Yaz's back "I'm from the planet Gallifrey in the constellation of Kasterborous...My real name isn't Clara it's the Doctor. Clara was my old friend I cared about very much"
"Whaaa? Just the Doctor?"
"Mmmm" she laughed "It's cool...don't you think?"
"I suppose so...unusual though. So, what do I call you?" she frowned confused
"What do you want to call me lovely?"
"You're Clara for me" Yaz said tucking hair behind her ears. She was hoping she wouldn't have to suddenly call her the Doctor because it just seemed like a title not a name.
"Alright..." she shrugs "Then I'm gonna stay that for you" she kisses the tip of her nose "I'm a Time Lord love I can regenerate my body"
"What's a Time Lord? ... No wait...regenerate...is that what it was..."
"Yap...there's more to it. But that's all I will say for now...slowly lovely. I don't wanna clamp you with all at once. There's so much of it Yaz"
"Alright darling" Yaz brushed her fingers over her face gently gazing at her eyes getting lost in them "I really love you Clara with all my heart"
"I never doubt that Yaz...ever. I just hope that things you will find out won't change this what we have. Because then I rather you not know"
Yaz cupped her face and pressed a small kiss on her lips smiling gently "Nothing can change how I feel for you. Nothing ever will"
"It's not that simple Yaz. I don't want to go back to my old life, there will be plenty time for that.
I want this one...and it will be tempting, believe me for both you and me.... But my old life is unstable, unsafe and unpredictable and I can't deal with that with you in it" she brought hands to her cheeks and cupped her face gently
"I need this what I have with you now. Do you understand that beautiful?"
"I do...I do understand. Look...I don't know what happened to you, but I can put two and two together Clara. Whatever it was it's still bothering you. And that day in Scotland I told you and I meant it. I will never push you to say or do anything you don't feel comfortable with"
Yaz stroke her face gently gazing at this face she loved with every part of herself "I want this life with you...in this house, you and me as we are now. I don't need anything more. It's all here for me...everything I ever wished for and more. It's you that I want love, I don't care about anything else believe me"
"I don't deserve you"
"Yes, you fucking do, you daft woman. Now take me to the bedroom"
"Mmmm...not sure Yaz...need to think about it" she smirked and Yaz grabbed the waistband of her trousers pulling her in
"Think faster!!" she smiled and kissed hard...
...
A month flew by Yaz without her even releasing that it did. It was April already and mid-May will mark six-month anniversary of her and Clara being together. It was moving faster than Yaz's brain could catch up with. The wedding was closing in as well and her sister managed to finally find a beautiful venue for them. It wasn't the beach, and it wasn't Brighton either. It was Yaz's favorite place in whole world right now, her beloved Oxford. Place where they first kissed, where she first fell in love with Clara. It was Le Manoir aux Quat'Saisons a Belmond Hotel, name that Yaz didn't even know how to pronounce but Clara did so at least one of them knew exactly where they were getting married. Sonya said how in June the gardens will be in full bloom with lavender and other flowers and how absolutely magical it will be to have the wedding outside. It took her and Clara literally ten seconds to agree that this was the perfect place. In past few weeks since the bombshell in the kitchen her and Clara spoke a lot. Mostly Clara saying stuff randomly in her usual manner without any warning or context to it. It gave Yaz vague picture about what her life really was before but still not enough to connect anything in particular together. But what she could gather up till this point was enough to understand regeneration and concept of a Time Lord and few other bits and pieces. But Yaz wasn't in rush, because each time when Clara did speak, she would suddenly go quiet and then she would redraw to her study for most of the day and to Yaz this pattern of behavior was enough to understand that even little bit of information she was giving her was hard for her to say. She got the impression that Clara in general was reluctant speaking about herself. She wondered how much people from her past even knew about her. And one thing that was absolutely abundantly clear was that Clara didn't want to return to that life. That she was running away from it as far she possibly could. But then Yaz knew too well what that feels like, because she too had a part of her life, she locked up together with all the pain that came with it and never spoke about it again. Clara knew her pain even though she never spoke about it. And she always made her feel safe and protected, loved, and wanted, she read her like an open book. Something that Yaz couldn't do with her, but she was really trying. Making sure Clara always knew she was there, and she could feel safe.
She heard the car parking outside it was a sound that always made her heart jump. Dinner was just ready, and it was Friday
"Hi babe!" Yaz yelled as she was taking food out of the oven and popping the tray on the stove to cool down a bit before she starts loading the plates
"Hey lovely" Clara came straight to the kitchen "Aaaaaa that smell...I'm starving Yaz"
"Me too, you came just in time" Yaz said draping her hands over her shoulders and kissing her "Mmmm...I missed that all day"
"You and me both darling...I had meetings today, boring...I hate meetings" she said taking plates out
"Dishwasher is leaking by the way" Yaz said whilst mixing a salad
"Shoot...alright I'll look at it tomorrow
"So, you're a plumber as well?" she laughed
"It's a machine Yaz...same as any other" she shrugged
"Mmmm...sexy plumber...can I watch?" she brushed her hand over her bum and kissed her shoulder.
Clara laughed shaking her head. "Hey...Guess where we're going for the weekend?"
Yaz turned around flashing a massive smile "Oxford?"
"Yap...I though we go and see the venue on a way. I called them today made appointment"
"Yeees!!" Yaz jumped exited and kissed her cheek "I'm so excited"
"Me too Yaz. I will also have some lectures up north next month. So, we will do a lot of traveling before the wedding. Are you ok with that?"
"Are you serious?" she leaned to place a soft kiss on her neck "God you smell nice"
Clara chuckled it was nice to hear her say those things. She wasn't used to hearing it and it was like music to her ears each time Yaz showed how much she wanted her and fancied her. It was only recently that Yaz became more vocal about all her thoughts and Clara loved every minute of it.
"Hey, I'll finish up here, go take a shower love and get changed"
"Alright...oh I need a huge favor Yaz"
"What?"
"I'm at work tomorrow the whole day and they are coming for conservatory at three o'clock"
"That's fine babe I'll get out a bit earlier don't worry. Come on, go before the food gets cold"
...
They literally had a ritual each evening sitting around the table in a living room chatting about their day and having a dinner, then laying on a sofa watching tv and cuddling. It was their thing since the day they met, except for weekends when Clara loved reading books instead. She used to read them late at night during a week as well, whiles Yaz would just sleep next to her on a bed.
They were laying on a sofa watching a movie. Yaz snuggled with Clara pressed on her back draping her leg over Yaz's hip and her hand over her chest. Most evenings she would fall asleep halfway through the movie or miss about three episodes of a show because lying like this in Clara's arms was so comfy and beautiful, she would completely relax. Yaz was in her pajamas and Clara wore light cotton trousers with an oversized shirt over it. The fabric was so thin Yaz could feel her hip bones through it pressed against her, she felt her chest move against her back as she was breathing, and she smelled absolutely divine. Yaz spent most day alone, longing for her touch so by the time it came to almost ten in the evening she found her mind was drifting from the movie. She started trailing her fingers over Clara's arm with intent.
Clara moved her hand to her stomach and peaked over her shoulder giving her a soft smile.
"Trying to say something?" she asked still smiling at her
"Yeah...sort of" Yaz admitted blushing being put on a spot
"Aaaand that is?"
"Bedroom?" she said plainly and cracked up laughing "Or here I'm not fussed"
"Right" Clara buried her face into her shoulder laughing. She suddenly got up and jumped over the sofa
"What are you doing?" Yaz laughed confused
"I'll race ya" she winked and started running upstairs
It was almost two in the morning and they both came down to the kitchen wasting through the fridge. Clara did her usual, taking all the food out on the counter and Yaz still couldn't figure out how she wasn't feeling ill from eating so much in the middle of the night. But each time she would stuff herself so much it was painful to look at.
"I have no idea how I will get up for work tomorrow" Yaz laughed slumping her head on the counter
"It's all your fault Yaz...I just wanted to watch a movie" Clara grinned putting food back into the fridge
"Well, I didn't see you complaining"
"No... but that's because I don't need as much sleep honey" she winked shutting the fridge "Call in sick"
"Oh, here we go...Claraaaa...I can't keep doing that all the time silly"
She walked over turning the chair and found place for herself between her legs trailing fingers down her bare skin and under the t-shirt that Yaz took from her. "Told ya...As far as I'm concerned you can be home Yaz. I've got the money" she pouted her lips
"You really don't want me to work, do you?" Yaz slumped her arms around her shoulders
"No, I don't...I'm honest Yaz. I actually feel horrible that you have to ever since you got ill last time. And I do get scared someone will hurt you. I hate what you do"
"Babe, I want to work. It makes me feel good about myself. You know having my own money. Besides I would be sad to be home alone when you're at work"
Clara sighed "I know...I'm sorry. I'm being selfish"
"No, you're not being selfish you're being sweet...and love you so fucking much for it"
Clara kissed her slow and deep making her dizzy and Yaz could see where this was going within two seconds. Her hands were all over her and Yaz's all over Clara. She wrapped legs around her pulling her in tilting her head back as her lips traveled down her neck. Clara had a way of kissing her painfully slow to the point she just wanted to scream and most time she wasn't in any hurry either, mapping each part of Yaz with her lips and her hands as if making sure each part of her body gets equal amount of attention.
Yaz was never kissed so much in her life, she was never touched so much either and her soul craved for it so she enjoyed in every second but by the time Clara would get to where Yaz desperately wanted her to go, she would already beg for it so much it was embarrassing.
Given the fact it was already two in a morning, and they were at it again, Yaz could already see herself falling asleep standing up tomorrow. But with Clara's lips pressed so firmly against her neck and hands trailing over her legs and breasts she was already a goner. Yaz fiddled with tiny buttons of her shirt and could never figure out how Clara could undo them with just one hand
"Need help?" Clara laughed
"Fuck yes..."
"Bedroom?" she asked whiles opening a shirt between kissing her
"Noo...no time"
"Alright just asking" she cracked up laughing again and got back to her neck
She lifted her off the chair and put her down to the floor maneuvering her to the counter. Yaz was losing her breath already and when her back hit the counter she slipped her hands underneath the opened shirt cupping her breast and trailing hands feeling her ribcage razing underneath her fingers as her breathing quickened.
"I really want you" Yaz said threading fingers through her silky hair as her lips trailed over her collar bones. Clara grabbed her hand that was on her waist guiding it down her own body over her stomach and between her thighs then left it there.
"Then take me Yasmin" she looked at her wrapping fingers around her face and Yaz rotated her to the counter kissing her hard. She didn't take her eyes of her as Yaz slipped inside her. The look on her face was something Yaz wanted to imprint into her memory. Her eyes half open and a messy hair, cheeks blushed, and her lips left half open between the kisses she leaned her head against Yaz's with fingers still wrapped around her face. Her breathing quickened as she started to move inside her, and her hand grabbed the shirt on Yaz's waist as she draped her leg over her side. Yaz never did this before and was basically mimicking Clara who took her like these many times. She could see the appeal straight away of her body pressing against her, pinning her like this gave almost illusion of full control. Clara absolutely melting under her touch moaning into her neck and her lips as she moved through her in a steady rhythm.
"I really fuckin love you" Yaz said watching her come undone slowly
Clara couldn't talk anymore she grabbed the counter with one hand and Yaz's shoulder with another trying to keep herself from falling dragging herself over her hand tilting her head backwards moaning into the air. Yaz couldn't stop looking, the fact she was doing this to another person still amazed her. That someone would fall apart like this under her touch was something she will always find fascinating.
Clara's eyes slammed shut and there was a slight frown always on her face when she would come. A look Yaz recognized now. She was always silent, sometimes just puffed slightly and shook a little, her hand would open wide at the first waive then fingers close back into a tight fist. Small body language Yaz studied through time. Wondering if Clara did the same with her. Which she probably did because she had a thing about watching her fly as she called it politely. Her normally cold skin would become hot to the touch and her pale cheeks always flushed which Yaz found adorable. She slumped on Yaz's shoulder riding it out rubbing her face between her neck and a shoulder.
"I love you Yaz...so much" she lifted her head smiling her cheeks still blushed. Yaz giggled at the site of her. At her messy hair and undone shirt, weak and still trembling with a look of pure satisfaction on her face, eyes still half open grinning haply.
"I think we should go to bed now babe" Yaz giggled kissing her forehead moving hair from her face "I love you so much darling"
"Help" Clara chuckled slumping her face on her shoulder trying to stand on wobbly legs.
"Come on...or your bum is gonna get cold" Yaz laughed
Clara grabbed her underwear from the floor and held herself for Yaz's waist walking behind her up the stairs "The state of me Yaz" she laughed holding tight at her hips
"I know...it's shameful honestly for a Time Lord" she laughed walking up
...
Yaz was packing their bags in the evening. She was struggling to keep her eyes open as she finished with her work and came home straight to the meeting with the company who will make the conservatory. Clara made a fast dinner just shoving half made meal into the oven and then started ripping out the washing machine leaving Yaz absolutely speechless when she lifted a grant work top with her bare hands. The leak was coming from the back, so she essentially ripped half of their kitchen out giving Yaz anxiety watching her do it. The noise coming from the kitchen sounded like she was dismantling half of their house and Yaz decided she will go upstairs and pack instead of looking at it. She was looking forward to Oxford again but mainly seeing the wedding venue. Clara already saw it, she had to go by herself, traveling with Yaz's parents because Yaz couldn't take a day off. It was an interesting trip with Clara going alone with her family. Her mum called her halfway down the road absolutely frilled how she got to chat with Clara for hours and got to know her better. It made Yaz's heart warm hearing all the nice things about the woman she loved so much and knowing her parents absolutely adored her. Her mother wasn't a woman who used praise words for people outside her family and was relatively reserved when she met new people. So, her calling Clara honey and sweetheart said loads about how she felt for her.
Her mother and sister helped so much with organization Yaz could never thank them enough. Sorting out everything from table decorations to a wedding cake. Yaz had no idea what the wedding cake would look like. Her mother, sister and Clara arranged everything and kept it a sweet secret from her just telling her she would absolutely love it.
Yaz finished packing and came down to the kitchen to and absolute horror of a sight.
"OMFG babe" she walked in as Clara was putting cabinets back "Please let me help you"
"Nope...Yaz I'm stronger than you...seriously it's nothing" she said picking up the kitchen cabinet putting it back in its place
"How fucking strong are you girl"
She brushed her hands on her sides and smiled "Strong Yaz...considerably compared to humas that is"
"Fucking still blows my mind when you say that" she laughed "but even you need a brake...come on. I'll make you a tea"
"That sounds great Yaz" she came over and kissed her temple
"So did you manage to sort it out?" she asked jumping over stuff and trying to find a kettle and everything she needed from the bar that was packed with pots and pans and rest of the stuff Clara emptied out from the kitchen cabinets
"Yap...it was leaking at the back I had to change it all and I had to clean it from the lime scale. Look" she showed her a bucket filled with water and chunks of lime scale
"Eeeewwww....that's disgusting. Clara are you sure you don't mind doing these things? Seriously you know it's no job for a woman"
"Neah... woman...man...all the same for me Yaz...besides it's fun"
"OMG...alright if that makes you happy" she passed her a tea "Babe...what's it like...you know to change like that...from a man to a woman?"
"Hmmmm...nobody asked me this Yaz" she said pulling up a bar chair and sitting down "I don't know...I never thought about it to be honest because it's just normal for me, natural. You know apart from obvious parts that change. Less body hair definitely...that's a plus” she laughed “I much rather shave my legs than my face. I'm not fond of stomach cramps though and peeing was really confusing for a while in a beginning. And I don't want to be old either...hate being old Yaz"
Yaz cracked up laughing...it was a strange conversation but the one she enjoyed having.
"I'm not fond of it though...being someone else and I try to avoid it at all costs"
"Can I see what you looked like?"
Clara smiled from the corner of her lips "You already have Yaz...the photos in the study"
"Nooo...nooo....you're fucking me around"
"Nope" she smirked sipping a tea
"That's you?"
"Aha...so, was I handsome?" she smugs
"I don't fucking know now...I have to have a better look" she laughed
"Would you still love me Yaz? Iff, I changed?" she changed the tone of her voice asking this question
Yaz looked at her, her brain glitched for a moment. It was a question that seriously required her to look deeply into her heart and examen how she felt about it. She walked over to Clara moving hair from her face tucking it behind her ear.
"Would it still, be you? You know, how you are with me? Or that would change? Would you change as a person?"
"Still, me darling...nothing changes...well maybe little stuff...but it's still me"
"Then I don't give a fuck babe as long as I have you in my life. But I do love this face...so if you can help it, please don't change it"
"I'll do my best Yaz...not planning to" she put the tea on the counter and wrapped hands around her waist "And the other stuff Yaz...you know?" she smiled looking down between them and Yaz knew immediately what she's implying to.
"Oh, fuck...yes of course" Clara looked at her razing her eyebrow smirking "Right...well...not really something I thought about. At least not in terms of other men that is. I wasn't ever into men...Never been with a man either...well I haven't been with anyone apart from you like that.
But with you it's different...I love you Clara, I really fuckin love you like I never thought I even could love anyone. And that goes beyond what your body is. And whatever it is I believe you and me can make it work together, even that...you know...if we love each other, we will find a way surly...People change...you know, many people...not like you do but similar and just because they change it doesn't change who they are, and couples make it work if they love each other....as long as the heart is still the same. I don't know if that explains how I feel about it...or it makes absolutely zero sense to you?" she frowned hopeful she did put this in a right way
Clara went silent, just gazing at her without a word, then brought her hand up to her face gently moving a strain of hair from her forehead gazing at each part of her face. Her eyes wondered from her lips to her eyes and Yaz was patiently waiting for her to say something, anything. This was not something she had in mind when she started the conversation, and she was desperately trying to do her best to explain her feelings on a topic hoping she didn't say something that might hurt Clara's feelings because that was the last thing she ever wanted to do. And she was truly speaking from her heart as well.
"Yaz"
"Mmm?" she replied absolutely petrified, because she simply couldn't read anything from Clara who had almost poker face expression
"You know how people say that sometimes...not very often, but sometimes you find someone who speaks to your soul?"
"Mmmm?" Yaz's bottom lip started to wobble
"You speak to my soul Yasmin...you're my perfect fit...a part of me that was missing that slots within me like it was made just for me"
Yaz sighed deeply and then crumbled, tears rolling down her face and Clara brushed them with her thumb "Don't cry lovely...it's beautiful...Do you know how hard it was for me to find that?"
Yaz couldn't speak, she was shaking and if she spoke her voice would just whimper so she just shook her head instead.
"Nearly impossible Yaz...I absolutely adore you Yasmin I really truly do, and no matter what your answer would be I still would" she scrunched up her face "I was actually half expecting to get booted, so it's a nice surprise" she smiled "But I'm not planning to change darling. I'm planning to stay exactly the way I am for as long I have to. This face is yours my love if I have anything to say about it" she wrapped her fingers around her cheek and kissed her gently. Yaz whimpered into her mouth, crying through the kiss and wrapping her arms around her shoulders and the back of her head deepening the kiss.
Clara rested her head against hers and smiled "I should really finish the kitchen if we wanna leave in the morning"
"Alright darling...I really love you Bighead"
"Yeah, you really bloody do Yaz" she smiled kissing her one more time
Chapter 16
It was six in the morning on a Saturday and Yaz was desperately trying to wake up sitting in the kitchen by the window with cookies and tea. Her eyes were closing while she was eating, and Clara found it funny. She walked past her, lifting her chin, kissing her temple and stealing a bite of cookie from her hand. She looked at her sleepily and just noticed that she smelled absolutely divine and looked good enough to eat in brown pants and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up that exposed Yaz's absolute favorite part of her body. Clara always messed about thinking her favorite part was something else. But, as he says, it was the two of them that Yaz adored. Clara, on the other hand, absolutely adored Yaz's ass and couldn't keep her hands off of it. She never said it, but instead her hands did all the talking and it was very clear to Yaz which part of her body was her favorite.
"Ready sleepy head? Bags are in a car, and you can sleep all the way" she smiled and kissed her forehead
"My soul is sleeping...honestly" she slumped to Clara's chest
"Oh boy...and you're mushy as well...I like when you're mushy...it's extra cute. But we need to get a shift on darling or I'll be late for the lecture.... sorry"
"No, it's fine" she got of the chair and wobbled to the car
Once she was in the car, she woke up a bit with music playing on the radio and started chatting.
"We are getting a new car by the way next month"
"We are? How come?"
"My lazing company offered me a new one, so I thought why not, and I want something better for the snow"
"OMG so you will have a spaceship babe"
"I already have a spaceship love" she looked at her smiling
"Where is your ship by the way? And this the weirdest fucking question ever" she rolled her eyes laughing
Clara chuckled "Closer than you think Yaz"
"Will I ever see it, or you will keep it away from me for the rest my life?" Yaz giggled like crazy at the bizarre conversation
"Sure...it's not because of you love...it's me"
"What do you mean" Yaz looked at her a bit confused
"Too tempting...you know, to pull that lever"
"Why?"
"It just is Yaz...it's been my life for so long, but I told you...way too unstable and way, waaay too unpredictable...And if you want me to keep this body, I suggest we stick to Earth. Universe is not a safe place love" she glanced at her and stoke her face shortly
"Alright...I'm not arguing over that one for sure. God our conversations have got weird"
"What do you mean?"
"You know...between the wedding and did you get milk from the grocery store today, we're talking about you regerating and fucking spaceships."
Clara started laughing "Alright...sorry...I'll stop"
"Noo...no you fucking won't...don't you dare. I want to know...spaceship" she shook her head in disbelief "That's just insane"
"And a time ship" Clara added
"Fuck off it's not...You're messing me around now" Yaz turned around laughing
Clara didn't answer that, just laughed at her reaction and stroked her leg. It was the most genuine reaction and she found it adorable. She felt relieved that she could finally say some things, but she was still careful about what she was saying. It was a fine line she was dancing on and she wondered how much longer she would be able to hold on like this. It was never a problem to talk about what she was until now. But there were still many things she avoided in the great circle, hoping they would never have to roll over her mouth. The only thing she ever wanted to roll over her mouth was how much she loved the woman sitting next to her. That was the single most important thing in her life right now. And the rest was, as Yaz said herself, something that they would have to navigate slowly. Except Yaz had no idea how much navigation it would take.
Five minutes into the journey she was fast asleep, and Clara continued to drive with soft music in the car stroking her leg from time to time and making sure she's comfortable. It was a nice sunny day for a change and no rain. She remembered how many times she had drove this path before Yaz was in her life. Three months, to be exact, of driving up and down this road all alone, worried about the future ahead. And now this future seemed brighter. She still hadn't fully recovered from the conversation they had the day before. It was something they had never discussed, and it wasn't the answer she wasn't expecting. Clara didn't really expect much, she mostly hoped for the best in all of this. Simply take one day and one conversation at times. All she knew was that she was absolutely hopelessly in love and was willing to put her hearts on the table and lay herself bare in front of Yaz for any part of her he was willing to take. She just hoped she would want to take all of it.
"Hey sleepy face...wake up darling" Clara said as she parked up in front of the usual pub stop.
Yaz opened her sleepy eyes slumped in the seat and she looked a bit disoriented
"Yaz...darling...are you alright?" Clara turned around concerned
"Mmmm...I just had a weirdest dream"
"About what darling...you look lost Yaz, what's going on?"
"I was dreaming that you and I where on some other planet...And someone was chasing us...
I don't know it's silly" she smiled "I think it's all the talk about the spaceship and where you come from"
"Hey lovely...it was just a dream" she brushed her thumb over her face
"I know...it's ok love it's not like the other time...that was just horrible...but this was so...You know when you have one of those dreams that seem so vivid that when you wake up it feels like you were really there"
"It's our brain that makes it feel like that. Accept it's not very nice when it's a horrible dream"
"It's fine...come on let's go babe"
"Hey...c'mere" she placed her hand at the back of her neck and placed a gentle kiss on her lips "I love you so much Yasmin"
"I love you too...I'm fine...really, promise...Come on I'm starving" she smiled and opened the door
....
They arrived at the hotel and Yaz slumped on the bed watching Clara change for the lecture. She watched as she removed the braces from her shoulders and let them fall loosely over her hips, then pulled her shirt out of her trousers and her long fingers unbuttoning it leaving it open as she took the new one out of the suitcase. Yaz's eyes were fixed on her so Clara walked past the bed kissing her forehead smiling.
"You're cute like this...Are you gonna go out or stay in a hotel?"
"I'll go out. I saw there's an exhibition nearby. It looks cool I wanna go and see it"
"That's nice...I'll call you when I'm done, and we grab a lunch together. How does that sound?"
"I'll miss ya" she pouted her lips
"I'll miss you as well Yaz...but I won't be long honey"
"I know" she smiled and grabbed her hand pulling her on the bed
"Yaaaz...that's extremely distracting love" she laughed wrapping herself around her kissing her "But I neeed to go...I'm so late Yaz"
But Yaz couldn't help it, for her it was distracting seeing Clara parading in her underwear around the room. Her hands were all over her and she longed for her so much
"I need you" she said kissing her in almost desperation pulling elastic of her underwear playfully
"Do not touch my nickers young lady...that's just giving me a head wonk!" she laughed pining her hands above her head and sat on her "I have to go...I'm so sorry"
Clara gave in at the end and laid on the bed for only a few minutes. Their heads pressed together kissing and cuddling, but then Clara gave her that look that meant she didn't want to let go, and she waited for Yaz to let her go.
"Alright....go then" she released the grip pouting her lips "I love youuuuu"
"You're adorable you know that" she kissed the tip of her nose "I want to stay believe me I do...But I can't" she kissed her one more time and then got out of bed quickly getting dressed
Yaz was left alone and took a quick shower to fully wake up and change. She was looking forward to a little walk and exhibition. It was finally a beautiful sunny warm spring day in Oxford, and she couldn't wait to get out of the room which was sad without Clara in it. As the months passed, her need to have Clara with her constantly grew stronger and it was a new feeling in her life. She had never been so dependent on someone's presence as she was now. The feeling confused her a little because it was mixed with an inexplicable fear of losing her. She needed her arms around her and her touch on her skin at all times, her scent around her. And realized that without it she becomes almost anxious. She had no idea if this was normal or not. She had no references because Clara was the first person in her life with whom she was in a relationship, so everything was new, and along the way she was also discovering herself.
She walked around for a bit and sent a selfie to Clara saying she missed her. Got a reply back within few minutes.
"I can't wait to kiss ya...you look good enough to eat xxx"
Yaz laughed every time Clara said that line. She really had no idea what that meant, and Yaz wasn't about to say it either, it was too funny, so she kept quiet. She walked through the exhibition. It was held in the library, and she loved it. Beautiful pictures of fictional landscapes and vivid colors. There was one picture in particular that caught Yaz's attention. It was a picture of an elderly gentleman with gray hair and a futuristic city behind him in the colors of a sunset. She stood in front of it for a while and noticed something strange, something that made her almost press her face to the painting itself. A small and imperceptible detail in the pupil of the eye. A blue box, the same blue box as the one in her garden.
"Excuse me miss, you can't get so close to the paintings" the curator tapped her on a shoulder gently
"Oh, so sorry, of course...Ah...could you please tell me the name of the artist who painted this.
It doesn't say in a brochure" she asked flipping through it
"The author of the exhibition wanted to stay anonymous. You see the proceedings from the sale are going to charity"
"I see..." she said disappointed "I understand. Thank you"
She waited for the lady to move then snapped few photos of the painting and others as well.
Her phone pinged with a message from Clara.
"Hey lovely...finally done...meet your wife for lunch? xx"
Yaz's face brighten at the message, and she quickly replied back
"Can't wait to meet my wife xxxxx"
...
Yaz sat in the restaurant waiting and going through her phone looking at the picture again. She wondered if she was giving too much importance to everything. At the end of the day, it was a typical UK police phone box and nothing out of the ordinary. She thought that maybe, after learning about Clara, she was overthinking everything and seeing patterns where there weren't any. Suddenly, a kiss on her temple made her jump "Fuck me babe!" she jolted
"Oh, I will Yaz" Clara whispered in her ear lifting her eyebrow smirking and then sat down "You do realize you seriously have to stop saying that in public?"
She giggled "I know it's gross...I am aware of it"
"And we keep having a same conversation about it as well...three time to be exact" she said stealing Yaz's juice from the table
"Alright...I got the memo" she rolled her eyes laughing
"So, who's the gray Scotsman in your phone Yaz?"
"Ha?"
"The old git in your phone?"
She frowned confused "It's the painting from exhibition silly woman...look" she passed her the phone
"Oh, that's nice" she makes a rather unimpressed face and gives her the phone back "So, did you have a nice time?"
"Yeah...it's a nice sunny day for a change. I swear I started thinking we have this rain clouds flowing us around"
"Clouds can't follow you Yaz...believe me I should know...if they could I would have half of the sky going after me"
"You silly sod" she laughed and opened the menu
"Mmmm...look I love gnocchi...do you know they were invented by a Roman gourmet Marcus Gavius Apicius, back in 1st century AD?"
"No... how the hell would I know that babe...And how the hell do you know all that as well...you're literally like a living breathing encyclopedia"
"Oh, he was a fun guy Yaz...loved his luxury though...spent way too much money and total party animal" she scrunched her face "Anyways I'll have gnocchi with mushrooms...sounds yummy...You Yaz?"
"Right" she laughed shaking her head at her funny face "It does sound nice...alright I'll just have the same then"
"Brilliant" she smiled and waved to the waitress
"So, what's the plan for today?"
"It's a nice day Yaz I thought we pop over to botanical gardens. I always wanted to take you there, but the weather was awful every time. And it's very romantic" she flashed a smile
"Aaaaa...romantic...Alright I like that plan"
...
They walked around for nearly two hours, slowly enjoying in the sunshine. Yaz wore a beautiful blue knee-length dress with a white cardigan and sneakers. Clara liked to see her in dresses. She found it irresistibly cute mostly because it was something extremely feminine that she could never see herself wearing, but it looked beautiful on Yaz. Her hair was braided into two French braids from each side of her head, and she looked adorable. Yaz kneeled by the little lake and threw food for the ducks and Clara tapped her shoulder pointing to the ducklings swimming across
"Look Yaz...they are so cute"
"OMG that's fucking adorable" she laughed at the cute little flakes swimming behind their mom Clara reached for her hand pulling her up, then intertwined her fingers and continued walking slowly towards the exit
"This was absolutely beautiful. Thank you darling"
Clara smiled and picked a yellow flower tucking it behind her ear "You don't have to thank your wife Yaz. You look gorgeous"
"We are alone you know" she smiled cheeky, and Clara knew what she was implying
She quickly looked around and wrapped fingers around her face kissing her softly. Yaz brushed her thumb over her face smiling "I really fuckin love you"
Clara shook her head laughing "And I really love that dirty mouth of yours"
"My dirty mouth wants to kiss the hell out of you now. So, I suggest you take me back to the hotel" she said giggling
"Alright missy...let's go"
...
They lay in bed for hours, decided not to go anywhere. Just enjoying the time together after spending most of the afternoon outside, which Yaz welcomed with open arms. She was already craving her touch from being away from Clara for most of the morning and then spending time outside. She had also been having bad dreams for days and she didn't want to bother or worry Clara about it, but it was taking a lot out of her, and she wasn't getting enough rest at night. So, during the day she was extremely lethargic and emotional, sometimes even on the verge of tears. The dreams she had were chaotic and terrifying, waking her up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, disoriented, and she would just snuggle up to Clara, burying her head in her neck for comfort.
Clara entangled them so much that there was not even an inch of space between them. She ran her fingers down Yaz's back and showered her face with kisses across her nose, cheeks and lips as she spoke softly. It was hot under the covers and with their bodies wrapped together probably even too hot for Yaz. But she knew Clara was nice and warm, so she didn't mind the slight discomfort from the heat. Her fingers traced Clara's lower back over the vertebrae of her spine and then down her soft curves making Clara giggle every now and then at how ticklish it was. Yaz called it her sweet ticklish bum.
Yaz enjoyed those moments so much, especially on rainy days when they would decide to stay home for the weekend listening to the rain pouring down the roof drain without getting out of bed for hours. Then running downstairs to the kitchen rummaging through the fridge or continuing to cuddle on the sofa.
Clara had spent the past hour talking to her about her childhood. She told her about Gallifrey and what life was like there. She also told her about her so-called mother and how she found her next to a portal on some planet and then experimented on her. Yaz wanted to know, but at the same time she was completely mortified by the story of her memories being erased and not really knowing who she was. She released that Clara had actually been brutally abused as a child and her heart was breaking in half. But Clara talked about it with emotional distance and just told her the cold facts.
She then moved on to talk about the academy which suddenly lit her up inside. She explained about the Time Lords and the Untempered Schism, the gap in the fabric of reality from which the entire Vortex can be seen and how it played a vital role in becoming a Time Lord. It all felt like a Star Wars script to Yaz and her brain needed to adjust to the fact that this was actually the reality of Clara's life. It was probably the first time Clara had told her so much at once. Normally, Yaz would have stopped her when he saw her getting upset, but this time she seemed calm and relaxed. Telling her funny stories about skipping classes at the academy and the stupid things she did that got her into trouble.
It was amazing to listen to, and Yaz also thought how life out there was not so much different than on Earth. Still equally complicated and filled with love, hate, playfulness, passion, happiness and sorrow. A stream of complicated emotions and relationships that had many different layers. And how Clara wasn't really that different from any other human being, the only thing that separated her from humans was her DNA, longer lifespan, and regeneration. But even on Earth some species had this ability, lizards could grow limbs with little or no problem, so it wasn't a concept that far-fetched.
When Clara fell silent, Yaz cupped her face and planted a small kiss on her lips smiling then tucked her hair behind her ear looking at her stunning hazel eyes that reminded her of autumn leaves
"What darling? You look sad? What's on your mind? Is it something I said Yaz?"
"Nooo...OMG absolutely not love. That was mind blowing...I absolutely loved it. Thank you"
"For what Yaz? I don't understand?"
"Giving me that part of you. I know that's not easy for you" she said stroking her face ever so gently "I'm just sad love because you went through so much pain darling. I can't imagine what you went through. Just a thought of you going through something like that makes me feel ill"
"It's in my past darling" Clara dotted kisses over her face "Don't be sad...I didn't tell you this to make you sad. I don't wanna make you cry Yaz...it was so long ago it doesn't hurt me anymore lovley I sorted it out"
"Did you? How?"
"I stole my memories back Yaz" she grinned haply "Just haven't looked at them yet" she scrunched her nose "But I know how you can help me"
"How darling? ...Tell me I'll do anything"
"You can kiss me" she grins
"You silly sod" Yaz giggled ruffling her hair
"I'm serious Yaz...dead serious...It really helps. They are absolutely hundred percent therapeutic"
"Oh yeah?"
"Mmmm...absolutely" Clara smiled and pulled her over, wrapping her arms around her
"Well then I'll just have to kiss you all over" she giggled dotting her whole face in small kisses
"Mmmm...I already feel better Yaz but you need keep going" she smiled
"I think that can be definitely arranged" she grins and slumps under the covers
...
Yaz woke up in the middle of the night. Another nightmare, but when she reached over the bed, Clara wasn't there. She looked around and saw her sitting by the window looking out. The moonlight shined on her bare skinny legs. Her white shirt glistened in the moonlight. To Yaz she looked so beautiful. She didn't want to disturb her, she just watched her in the stillness of the night, wondering what her beautiful little Time Lord was thinking, where she was traveling in her mind.
"I can feel your eyes on me lovely" she turned around smiling and reached her hand out "C'mere"
Yaz got up and sat on the window seat in front of her leaning against her.
"Why are you awake?" Clara kissed her shoulder and wrapped her arms around her
"Just a bad dream...It's fine"
"Again Yaz?"
"It's fine...what were you thinking?"
"How beautiful the sky is in a moonlight. Look Yaz...all the clouds how they shine" she pointed her finger
"It's beautiful...You notice things people normally ignore you know. Mostly they just take it for granted"
"It's a shame...how can you ignore something so beautiful. I like to watch sky at night, it comes alive.... you see worlds that are hidden by the sun"
"I never thought about it that way before"
"Yeah, look Yaz, that's Sagittarius...that's where Gallifrey is...right in that direction...not far from there...Well, 250 million light years from Earth...not that far" she laughs
"Oh...just around the corner then" she laughed "You silly sod"
Yaz put her head on her shoulder and together they looked at the stars. Clara telling her about the different constellations and then telling her about some crazy worlds and pink beaches she mentioned earlier. But this time Yaz believed they were definitely real. She fell asleep in her arms and Clara moved her to bed without Yaz waking up. She just moaned happily as Clara lay down behind her kissing her shoulder blade.
...
Yaz was sitting in a nice cafe waiting for Clara and going through her phone. She texted her mom and sister, then called one of her rare friends, Jenny, and told her all about the wedding. She hadn't seen her in months since she left for France and couldn't wait to meet her next month when she returned. She never saw Clara because she left right after Yaz met her. Jenny was one of those friends whom Yaz trusted completely and was always telling her everything. She cried on her shoulder because of her broken heart many times. Unlike Yaz, Jenny was extremely confident in herself and never cared too much about other people's opinions. She had her own life challenges that made her the person she is today. Being the child of a broken family and a mother who was in and out of rehab most of her life, her younger sister mostly depended on her for the basics, while her father spent his days at the local pub. They had a grandmother who was a lovely woman but was in poor health and was limited in what she could do to help. Yaz's father sent them food from time to time. He loved to cook and was delighted that Jenny and her sister enjoyed every meal he made. When Yaz told her about Clara, she screamed into the phone so hard she nearly broke her eardrum, and when she told her she was getting married, Jenny almost dropped the phone and accused Yaz of making her cry for the first time in ten years. She was going to be her maid of honor, accepted Jenny begged Yaz not to make her wear a dress to which Yaz laughed and said how her and Clara will definitely get along greait.
Yaz managed to kill nearly three hours all by herself and now she couldn't wait for Clara to come back. They were going to the wedding venue today and she was nervous and exited at the same time.
"Hey lovely" Clara came behind her kissing her temple "Who are you chatting to?"
"I called Jenny"
"Aaaaa...When is she coming back?"
"In three weeks. I can't wait for you to meet her"
"I'm excited about meeting your friend Yaz. She sounds lovely"
"She is...I love her to bits"
...
"Exited?" Clara asked smiling as she was parking the car in front of their wedding venue
"Yeeeeesss" Yaz smiled wide, she was shaking from inside and glued her face to the window looking at the magnificent hotel "OMG babe...this looks better than on photos
"Told ya" Clara smiled unclipping her seat belt "Come on" she nodded her head grinning
They came out of the car and Clara reached for her hand. She was nervous herself being here first time with Yaz. She may have played it down all this time but now she was finally here with her, her hearts were popping out of her chest, and she could swear her hands were shaking. She grabbed Yaz's hand tight, and they walked into the reception.
"Hi, I'm the Doctor and this is Yasmin Khan my fiancé. We're here to meet miss Anna regarding our wedding arrangements for June"
"Oh, hello. Nice to meet you both. Yes, could you wait for few minutes please I'll tell her you're here"
"Sure" Clara replied and turned towards Yaz. She couldn't stop grinning and Yaz couldn't stop giggling squeezing her hand
"I'll pass out babe" Yaz said literally shaking
"Please don't Yaz...I can't be in this alone" she laughed "I've never felt so nervous in any of my lives Yaz"
"Doctor" the lady came over
"Aaaa...Hello...Nice to see you again. This is Yasmin Khan. My wife...aaaa future wife...fiancé...sorry nervous. Never been nervous before"
"It's fine. Everyone is believe me. Yasmin nice to meet you...Well, let me show you everything" she smiled and took them around showing Yaz every single detail and talking her through it.
"Dear god.... should I be taking notes?" Yaz said nervously
"No need...I'll pop it all in an email for you don't worry. So how do you like it so far?"
"Love it...What's not to like...this is absolutely gorgeous" she kept smiling still squeezing Clara's hand
"As you see the lavender is still not in bloom but in june the whole garden will be in full blossom and it's absolutely stunning"
"I'm sure it is" Yaz said excited. Her eyes kept wondering around the place nervously. It was actually hitting her how real this was and that it is actually happening
"Well, it was so nice to meet you both this time and please iff you have any questions feel free to call me or email me at any point"
"Sure, no problem" Clara shook her hand "Thank you so much for seeing us on such a short notice"
"It was my pleasure. Have a nice day"
"You two. Bye" said Yaz and turned around to Clara with a massive smile across her face
"Happy?"
"Crazy more describes how I feel babe.... This is awesome"
"Told ya...Sonya did a great job in finding this place. Come on let's go darling. We still have a long way back home
Chapter 17
It was towards the end of Yaz's shift and she couldn't wait to come home. She was tiered and it was a horrible rainy Friday afternoon. She felt a bit dizzy the whole day and she kept putting it down to not having enough sleep.
"Yaz" the lady called her from the till "Come here for a moment"
"Hey Lois, what's up?"
"I have tickets for this theater show in London on Sunday. I was thinking of going with John, but he has to work. Do you want to go with Clara?"
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, sure...please take them"
"OMG That's so sweet Lois, thank you. I'd love too" she smiled and then stumbled grabbing the till with her hand
"Yaz...You alright love?" the woman grabbed her forearm "Yaz...OMFG....Heeelp...please...help me!" the lady grabbed her laying her on the floor
Yaz was shaking and her eyes rolled at the back of her head. Her hand clenching the woman's jacket "Yaz OMG babe that the fuck. Call ambulance now!!" the woman screamed to the other security guard holding Yaz's face between her hands.
Clara burst through the hospital door and went straight to the counter.
"I'm here for Yasmin Khan" she leaned over the counter stressed
"And you are?"
"Her wife...What's going on? Where is she? What room? What happened to her and who is in charged for her?" she rambled worriedly
"Please mam slow down. She's with the doctor now"
"I am the Doctor and I'm gonna calm down when someone tells me is she alright...please tell me"
"Madam please I can't...someone will be with you straight away"
"I don't need anyone with me. I need to be with her"
"I'm sorry but you can't. Not at the moment anyway. Please sit down and someone will explain everything in a moment"
"What happened? Is she alright?
"I'm sorry I'm not allowed to give out any information, you will find out everything"
"Will see about that" she takes her sonic out and was about to scan the computer
"What's going on?" the young female doctor came to the counter
Clara heard her voice and turned around. Her jaw literally dropped on the floor "Whaaaa? Nooo way" she jumped "Martha Jones?" she yelled
"Excuse me?" the young woman asked confused
"It's me Martha the Doctor" Clara looked at her smiling
"Whaaat?" she grabbed her sleeve and pulled her on a side "Is this a joke? Did Jack put you up to this?"
"Absolutely not.... But no time to explain. Please Yasmin Khan...I have to see her Martha now"
The woman paused for a moment looking at her. The dark navy trousers and the shirt with a tie and braces over her shoulders. She looked down and saw the sonic in her hand. "You really are the Doctor" she frowned confused and shook her head shocked
"Yap...Very much so" she nodded grinning, and Martha fell into her hugging her "I can't believe this"
"Believe it" she squeezed her tight "I'd love to chat, and we definitely will...but this is really important"
"Aaahh...yeah...sure. Come with me" she pulled her by the sleeve
"What are you doing here?" Martha asked walking into the elevator
"I was about to ask you the same question"
"Kate sent me. She said I need to lose a file...Now it all makes sense. File says contact Clara. You're Clara?"
"I am now" she laughed
"You're a woman...my god. Yasmin Khan of course...waaaw so that's Yaz...legend"
"I know...go figure...Long story Martha... Please tell me what happened"
"She had a seizure...But she's fine for now we stabilized her" she gave her the file to read "We did the scans. But you and I know what they show Doctor"
"Yeah...another long story Martha I would appreciate if you didn't say anything to her"
"Alright...I get it" she tilted her head and walked out into the hallway "I'm not gonna go there Doctor. Here we are" she opened the room
"Clara!" Yaz smiled
"Yaz!" she ran over to the bed and grabbed her hand
"I'll leave you two alone. I'll be outside Doctor" Martha said
"Thanks for this" she smiled and turned over to Yaz "Hey beautiful how are you feeling?" she wrapped fingers around her face and kissed her forehead gently "What happened Yaz?"
"Please don't call mum"
"It's ok lovely...I didn't...I just rushed here straight away when they called me" she brushed her thumb over her cheek "Yaz what the hell happened?"
"I felt dizzy, and I passed out. I don't know what happened. One minute I was ok and the next I was on the floor"
Clara kissed her cheek gently then took her sonic out and scanned her
"What are you doing?"
"Just looking lovely" she replied looking at the reading "I need to get you home Yaz"
"I really want to go home but I don't think they will allow me" Yaz said lacing her fingers with hers on top of the covers
"I'd like to see them stop me Yaz" she smiled kissing her knuckles "Besides...I'm well connected" she winked "How are you feeling?"
"Normal...like nothing happened"
"Alright...that's good...actually that's brilliant" she brushed her finger over her cheek "You really scared me"
"I scared myself"
"It's going to be fine Yaz. I promise...I just need you to come home with me. I'm gonna go and speak to Martha just for few minutes ok" she strokes her face "Are you gonna be, ok? I'll be right outside"
"Yeah sure...I'm fine...really...Go"
"Alright...I love you" she kissed her briefly then got up and walked outside the room
"Hey" Clara smiled
"My god...I still can't believe this face...You look nice" she laughed
"And you look as beautiful as always"
"I heard what happened. Everyone did...but I never connected it to this...I didn't know you're a woman now, Kate never mentioned it. But the scan and..." she sighed "God she's lucky to be alive"
Clara didn't say anything to that...just looked down to the floor
"When are you leaving?"
"I'm not"
"I don't understand?"
"I stopped...After what happened...I took a brake"
"Waaaw...I didn't think anything can stop you"
"Neither did I... but here we are...And you? Still with the UNIT?"
"Definitely"
"Are you happy?"
"I am, very much...Are you, Doctor?"
"Actually, Martha I'm happiest I've ever been" she smiled
"I'm glad...I really am"
Clara put her hands in the pockets and looked her under the eye "Miss me?" she grinned
"Neah" she smiled
"Oh, come on...Little bit?" she frowned
"Yeah, alright then" she laughed "But just a little bit"
"I need her to go home with me"
"She can...but give us till tomorrow please. I need to do some more tests and MRI scan. I'll give you all the results. Then she's free to go"
"I can do that in Tardis" Clara said in desperation
"Please...let us help her...you can't do everything alone" she put her hand on her shoulder "Just one night"
She sighed deeply "Alright...just till tomorrow" she clenched her jaw
....
Clara came home to an empty house. She dropped her car keys on the kitchen counter without turning on the lights. It was quiet and the silence pierced her ears. Then she saw a note on top of the kitchen counter.
"Dinner is in the oven just heat it up I'll be back around eight. Love you xxx"
Tears rolled down her face as she ran her finger over the paper and took it upstairs with her. She came into the bedroom turning on only the bathroom lights and loosened her tie, then removed the cuffs placing them over the small note Yaz had written. She ran her finger over it again, pursing her lips, then took off her shirt.
She stood in the shower with her forehead resting on the tiles letting the hot water run down her spine and felt her tears mixing with the water running down her face. Loneliness creeping into her bones again, carried by fear and anxiety. Her thoughts went wild again when she just managed to calm them down recently. She had just made the worst possible phone call to Yaz's mom, crying with fear over the phone trying to calm her down, but at the same time she couldn't calm herself.
She walked past the bed completely ignoring it with no interest in spending a minute alone in it. The lights from the street shone on her bare back making shadows on the vertebrae of her delicate body as she took fresh clothes out of the drawer and ignoring Yaz's right next to them, she quickly closed it. She dressed and ran down the stairs and threw the dark kitchen to the back door and into her blue box.
"Hello mate...I missed you too" she smiled looking up and then ran around the console flipping the switches then placed her hand over the lever taking a deep breath pulling it down.
Her back was against the open door of the Tardis and her hands were hugging her knees. It was dark and only the Tardis was humming. A beautiful purple cloud of a baby star being born passed in the distance.
She remembered the day Yaz lay beneath her wrapped in a white sheet on the mattress, her silky skin glowing under the soft lights of the Tardis and her beautiful brown eyes smiling down at her lovingly. The touch of the fingertips on the cheek and them brushing over her lips. She will never forget that night, and neither will she any other when she held the most valuable thing in the universe in her arms loving every part of her being. And now she felt alone again, minutes passed like days, hours seemed like years. She rested her head on her knees, watching the universe, wondering when she would see him like this again. Dawn came to Earth and the Tardis hummed, jolting her from her slumber. She fell asleep in the Tardis door and was lucky she didn't fall out. This would be awkward without the extra regeneration energy in her. So, she quickly got up and rushed to the console.
"Thanks for that" she smiled looking up "Let's go and get her, shall we? ...I know I missed her too...Love ya" she pulled the lever
...
"So, you know Clara?" Yaz asked Martha as she was taking her blood sample
"Yeah, it was a long time ago. We haven't seen each other in years. Used to travel together and work together"
"Oh, I see"
"And you and the Doc... Clara?"
"We met in November...she had a car accident I was working as a police officer back then...and my head is pretty much spinning ever since...We are getting married in June" she smiled
Martha gulped and looked up "Married? ...Waaaw...Congratulations"
"Thanks...How long do you know each other? You and Clara?"
"Now for over ten years Yaz...but we only worked together few years. Then I left"
"How come?"
"Did you ever try working with her?" she rolled her eyes smiling
Yaz laughed "No but I can imagine it's interesting"
"And exhausting...Alright you're good to go. I'll tell her you can go home. Just please make sure you get plenty of rest and no work for at least a week"
"Sure...thanks" she rolled her sleeve back down and Martha left the room
"She's ready to go home" she said to Clara as she came out into the hallway
"Thanks for that I owe you"
"No, you don't...Just make sure she gets plenty rest"
"I will do" she smiled and opened her arms waiting
Martha looked at for a second smiling then fell into her arms "By the way congratulations" she smacked the back of her head "You could have told me you know"
"Sorry...I didn't know how to" she pulled apart scrunching her face
"I bet you didn't" she smiled "Go on...go get your woman Doctor" she nodded towards the room "See you around Doctor"
"It was nice seeing you Martha Jones" she said before entering the room
"Yaz" she speeds up to her bed
Yaz was sitting on the edge and opened up her arms "Cuddle" she said desperately
"Biggest one in the universe" Clara fell into her arms wrapping fingers at the back of her head "I missed you so much" she squeezed her so tightly Yaz felt air leaving her lounges. Then pulled back and brushed her fingers over her face "Let's go home"
"Let's go home...I'm hungry"
Clara smiled "I'll buy you whatever you want"
"Mcdonald will do" she smiled
"I'll stop on a way lovely" she bends down picking up her shoes and putting them on her feet then helping her off the bed "Take it easy...hold on to me"
They walked down the hall. Clara wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and Yaz held her around the waist, leaning against her. She still felt a little dizzy, but Martha said she would because of the medication she was given.
...
Continuation of the chapter for those who came all the way till the end last week :)
They were finally home and as they walked into the kitchen Yaz noticed that the message was gone, but dinner was still in the oven. Her heart sank when she realized that Clara hadn't touched any food since yesterday afternoon. Clara put the shopping bags on the counter and opened the refrigerator, Yaz came up behind her and put her arms around her waist gently kissing her shoulder blade. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply, lacing their fingers on her stomach and gently leaning against her.
"Hey" Yaz spoke softly rubbing her face into her back "Why don't we take a shower and just watch a movie or something. Ha? How does that sound?"
"It sounds great" she replied with a shaky voice
"I love you my beautiful Bighead" she kissed her back trailing kisses between her shoulder blades and felt Clara pull her hand back wrapping it around her tighter. She took her hand and slowly led her up the stairs. The bed was also untouched and that just broke Yaz in half, she also saw the note on the chest of drawers and Clara's cuffs still on it. Clara turned her around and reached into her pocket pulling out the engagement ring and placing it back on her finger, then brought her hand to her lips, kissing her fingertips.
"I was gonna ask you where it was. They took it in a hospital, Martha told me they gave it to you this morning"
"I thought you died" she gulped "You know they take those off when..." tears rolled down her cheek
"OMG...Hey, hey...don't cry...I'm here now love" she caressed her face wiping the tears and pulled her in a tight hug. Clara buried her head between her shoulder and neck and burst into tears. She cried softly and trembled, clutching Yaz so hard that she barley could breathe.
"Darling, they always take it off" she gently caressed the back of her head "...when the ambulance takes you to the hospital, especially when you go for an MRI, that's standard practice love"
Clara raised her head looking at her with blotchy eyes and a red face. "It's a stupid practice," she said with a sniff and made Yaz giggle a little at how sweetly she said it almost like a grumpy child.
"It is a little...because people get scared, like you did" she placed a small tender kiss on her lips and another one on her neck and then removed the braces from her shoulders.
"Shower? I smell like a hospital, and I hate it. I want to smell of you" she smiled, and Clara cupped her face kissing her in the gentlest way as Yaz was about to fall apart in her arms.
Yaz ran her hands over her chest, spreading the soap over her soft skin cuddling her in a same time. They both desperately needed each other's proximity. Especially Clara who was still trying to calm down and Yaz sensed it. She moved hair away from her cheeks as she brushed her lips across her face, smiling gently....
"I don't think this is what Martha meant when she said you needed a rest" Clara giggled blowing strands of hair out of her face as she emerged from under the covers
"I am resting" Yaz giggled "You did all the work baby" she wrapped her legs around her playing with her hair.
Clara chuckled into her shoulder and placed a small kiss onto it. "I'm hungry" she grinned haply
"God, I love to see that smile again...I'm glad you are. You haven't eaten anything since yesterday did ya?" Yaz gently ran her hands over her shoulders and Clara didn't reply anything, she just puffed into her neck kissing it.
"I really love you Yasmin" she mumbled into her skin
"I love you too...but I'd love you even more if we go downstairs and you eat. Come on" she slapped her bare bum "Get that sweet but off me and let's go get you some food"
Clara took the tray of lasagna from the oven and was wasting through the whole lot. Yaz would normally look at her in utter horror, but today she was so happy to see her eating. She sat on a chair sipping cocoa and thinking she could swear Clara was thinner than the day before, and she couldn't figure out how. She looked at her in the shower and could literally count every rib under her fingers, and her hip bones, which used to be protruding, were now even more visible.
She assumed that she normally expended so much energy that a day without food simply ate away at her frail body.
She was back to her old self. And Yaz was relieved. She also released that she is not alone in her codependency and that Clara is no different. She literally stopped functioning for the whole day and as nice as that may be, it was also a scary feeling because Yaz had always seen Clara as someone extremely independent and strong. And truly, she was in absolutely everything, but now it was clear to her that they could no longer function without each other.
She watched her happily scoffing through the food chatting away about the conservatory that was going up in two days. Clara was a mixture of this powerful woman who felt almost intimidating at times, but she was also the softest person Yaz had ever known. Her emotions were raw and unfiltered, and she found it extremely endearing and funny. She was also most tender with Yaz.
Yaz took the juice from the counter and put it back in the fridge, then lazily lowered herself over Clara's back.
"Mmmm...That feels nice" Clara said taking the last bite of food in her mouth "I was cold and now I'm not"
"I'm your radiator" she laughed and slid her hands around her chest "Darling why is your skin so cold all the time? Is that normal for you?"
"Mmmm...yes..." she nodded with her mouth full "I do have many physiological differences from humans Yaz. Two hearts which normally beat at 170 beats per minute, three brain stems, and yes lovely internal body temperature of 15 degrees Celsius or 59 degrees Fahrenheit. That's why my bum gets cold all the time," she laughed licking the fork
"Feel better now?" Yaz giggled to satisfaction on her face over food, it was adorable
"Definitely...that was really nice Yaz...thanks for cooking that"
"Always babe...Wanna watch the movie?" Yaz smiled over her shoulder kissing her cheek
Clara just turned around grinning haply and her face spoke more than words.
"But Yaz not too long... you need to sleep. I know you feel better, but I can't go through that again"
"Deal...I'll tell you what, you pick the movie, and could you please bring the duvet down so we can snuggle" she said kissing her head and picked up the tray just slinging it into the sink
"Yap...no problem...And I have idea for the movie"
...
It was Sunday and the sun had not yet risen over the horizon. The bed was worm and Yaz was pressed against Clara's back. She felt her breathing in her neck wrapping her arm around her chest. Clara desperately needed to pee, but refused to move, enjoying the warmth of her skin against hers. She also knew that the moment she took off the covers, the fresh morning air would come in underneath and make her feel cold, which was not appealing at all. She slowly turned around so she could see her face, but as soon as she did, Yaz moaned and buried her face in her neck, wrapping herself in a ball. This made Clara laugh as her plan to kill time by watching her sleep, her favorite thing to do in the morning, failed. But for now, she could settle for a cuddle, much better than the empty bed from the night before. She had spent many lonely nights, more than she could even count. Most of the time she didn't think too much about it because it was just easier to ignore but that didn't mean it didn't hurt.
There were many times she just needed a hug or a simple touch that spoke louder than words. It was never so much about passion as about a connection of which passion was the final part, as an extension of what she felt expressed in some other more intimate way, the most intimate of all. Because there was nothing more beautiful than having that permission for every part of one's body and it was something that was always sacred in her hearts.
She had relationships before, although not many considering the length of her life. She also had her hearts broken numerous times, more than she could count. But there was no one she felt as connected to as Yaz. She never needed to speak, her touch spoke louder than words and clearer than any language. She understood her on a deeper level that was amazing considering how little of her she actually knew. But it felt as if she understood even the deepest parts of her very being even those still unknown to her.
Yaz moaned into her neck kissing it softly and trailed lazy lines on her lower back with her fingers making her want to pee even more, but she still refused to move.
"Morning beautiful" Clara smiled tangling fingers through her hair
"Hey" she raised her head and gave her a soft sleepy smile and a kiss "Morning love"
"You look so cute in a morning" she said tapping her nose with her finger
"You're as pretty as always but you feel amazing in a morning" she stretched herself and continued cuddling her back kissing her neck
"Darling"
"Mmmm?" Yaz mumbled into her neck
"That's really nice but it's tickling me and I'm gonna piss myself...been holding it for an hour and I'm dying"
Yaz cracked up laughing and released the grip "Go on...go pee silly"
Clara shot out of bed and Yaz continued rolling around it lazy. "Hey...I've got tickets for theatre show in London for tonight"
"You do?"
"Yeah...mate from work gave them to me just before I passed out. I still have them in my jacket if you wanna go"
"That's nice of her...yeah why not. But do you feel ok to go Yaz...are you sure?"
"I feel fine...honest. I don't know what that shit was, but I'm fine now. I just think I was tiered babe. I haven't slept properly in days"
Clara crawled back to bed and pulled the duvet over their heads "I'm cold...I need my radiator" she giggled snuggling
"I need more sleep...It's five in a morning" Yaz said wrapping her arm around her and slumping her leg over her hip "You should sleep some more as well babe...Come on...I'll keep you warm" she smiled kissing her
"I can't tell you how nice it is to have you back in this bed"
"I can't tell you how horrible it was sleeping in a hospital without you love. And I was all alone in that room as well. I couldn't wait for the morning...but let's forget that ever happened...how about that? I refuse to allow any of that crap to get in a way of you and me...or between us...see...no space for shit" she giggled pushing herself so close to her until there was not even an inch of space between them
"Deal...you glue to me I glue to you, and we're all done"
"Yap" she nods haply
"And why didn't we think of that before?" she scrunched up her nose
"No clue babe...cause we're a bunch of idiots" she giggled
"Thanks, Yaz...Never been called an idiot before. Well, I have but that's beside the point"
"Don't mention it babe"
"But then again I've never been told to fuck off either" she laughed kissing her forehead
"It's just my love language babe" she cracked up laughing squeezing her face between her hands and pressed a kiss to her squished lips laughing
Clara literally let her do whatever she wanted with her. Yaz was the only person in the universe allowed to do so, the only one with the ability to turn her into putty within five minutes. And even though she absolutely hated her dirty language, she eventually accepted it and even came to like it as part of Yaz. This Yaz...who was a little different, but then she was different herself after everything that happened. Softer and more tolerant, much less hectic than she used to be.
It changed her core in a way, but she welcomed the change, hoping that this time the decisions she would make would be better.
"I love your love language" Clara replied with the squished face making Yaz laugh like crazy "You're really enjoying this?"
"Yeeesss!" she continued to laugh, and Clara started tickling her to release her hands making her scream and beg her to stop.
"Stop...no...pleeeeease...I'm beginning you" she screamed laughing like a kid
"I love you so much Yaz" Clara said calmly pressing her wrists into the mattress hovering over her. Yaz gazing at her still trying to ketch a breath.
"You're the best thing that happened to me Clara"
"And you to me" she said and kissed her the way only Clara ever kissed her, pulling her out of this place amongst the stars.
...
"Yaz are you absolutely sure you feel good enough for this?" Clara kissed her shoulder in front of the bedroom mirror and pulled the zipper on her dress
"I do I promise love. I'm not dizzy or tired or anything I really feel fine"
Clara took a sonic out of the pocket and scanned her just in case
"I can't believe you just did that silly woman...I'm fine" she rolled her eyes
"You wanting to be fine and you being fine are two separate things Yaz" she looked at the scan and kissed her temple
"All I need to do is look at you dressed like this and feel great babe" she smiled gliding her hand over her waistcoat kissing her neck then straightening her tie
Clara put a finger under her chin lifting her gaze "You look absolutely stunning" she said kissing her "Let's go, I think I just heard the cab"
Clara took a jacket off the bed slinging it on and reached for Yaz's hand. Normally Clara would drive but driving into London meant the parking will be quite far and Clara didn't want Yaz to walk. So, for a change they were taking a cab, another gesture that made Yaz`s heart melt.
"Wanna have a little walk?" Clara said as they came out of the theatre
"Yeah, why not. It's warm" she smiled taking her hand
They walked through Trafalgar Square it was still teeming with people. It reminded Yaz of their walk that night in Oxford when they first met. Clara held her hand the whole time and brushed it with her thumb. Then they saw a nice bar and she suggested they have a drink. In the end it was more of a smaller club with loud music and lots of people. Yaz was extremely amused to see Clara catching the beat of the music, or rather trying to, as they stood at the bar. She looked comical and cute at the same time and so out of place, but she looked like she was generally having fun. It was completely out of her comfort zone, unlike Yaz who missed going clubbing and hadn't in months since meeting Clara. But the real fun started when Yaz pulled her out on the dance floor, and she absolutely pissed herself laughing at how uncool she was. As much as she was completely on her own turf when it came to classical dance clubs just weren't her scene. But anyway, Yaz absolutely had fun and laugh. They also met a few people and talked a little at the bar. Clara came up with her classic "I haven't partied in at least 200 years. The last time I did this I was a bloke" and made people laugh by thinking she's high as a kite.
They came out laughing and Clara stood in the middle of the road wobbling shoving a finger in her ear making Yaz giggle like crazy.
"What the fuck are you doing babe?"
"It's really buzzing...I'm having a serious head wonk Yaz"
"Whaaa?" she laughed like crazy
"I do have excellent hearing Yaz, and that music was really loud" she shook a finger violently
"Babe you're yelling...they can hear to East London" she laughed literally to the point of tears streaming down her face and she could have sworn Clara was drunk. Her sleeves were rolled up and her shirt was halfway out of her pants, the braces were hanging down her hips and Yaz had to grab her jacket from the chair where she just left it. Which Yaz knew for a fact she would never do because she had a sonic in her pocket.
"Yaz...I'm dizzy"
"No shit babe" she laughed and grabbed her by the waist "I need to call the cab babe" she said when they walked to the corner and sat her down on the pavement standing in front of her calling a cab.
Clara fell asleep on her shoulder in the back of a cab. Yaz simply found the whole thing absolutely hilarious. She got her home and helped her to a bed then started taking her clothes off.
"C'mere" Clara grinned pulling her arm as Yaz was unbuttoning her shirt and practically threw her on top of herself "Did I tell you how much I love you?"
"Nope" Yaz laughed as she was wrapping her fingers around her face in really discoordinated way
"I never loved anyone like you Yasmin. I am so happy to have you back" she pulled her head into the kiss which was extremely nice even though she tested of alcohol and was completely out of it. But she was still composed enough to sufficiently drive air out of Yaz's lounges. It was what came out of her drunken mouth that threw Yaz a bit sideways, but she brushed it off in the brief moments after being distracted by her hands and mouth.
She also attributed it to Clara actually being fully waisted, so much so that after a long and passionate kiss she simply buried her face into Yaz's shoulder and was falling asleep. So Yaz continued undressing her and tucked her into the duvet. She sorted herself out and snuggled behind her kissing her shoulder and slipping her arm around her waist.
Chapter 18
It was six in the morning on a Saturday and Yaz was desperately trying to wake up sitting in the kitchen by the window with cookies and tea. Her eyes were closing while she was eating, and Clara found it funny. She walked past her, lifting her chin, kissing her temple and stealing a bite of cookie from her hand. She looked at her sleepily and just noticed that she smelled absolutely divine and looked good enough to eat in brown pants and a white shirt with the sleeves rolled up that exposed Yaz's absolute favorite part of her body. Clara always messed about thinking her favorite part was something else. But, as he says, it was the two of them that Yaz adored. Clara, on the other hand, absolutely adored Yaz's ass and couldn't keep her hands off of it. She never said it, but instead her hands did all the talking and it was very clear to Yaz which part of her body was her favorite.
"Ready sleepy head? Bags are in a car, and you can sleep all the way" she smiled and kissed her forehead
"My soul is sleeping...honestly" she slumped to Clara's chest
"Oh boy...and you're mushy as well...I like when you're mushy...it's extra cute. But we need to get a shift on darling or I'll be late for the lecture.... sorry"
"No, it's fine" she got of the chair and wobbled to the car
Once she was in the car, she woke up a bit with music playing on the radio and started chatting.
"We are getting a new car by the way next month"
"We are? How come?"
"My lazing company offered me a new one, so I thought why not, and I want something better for the snow"
"OMG so you will have a spaceship babe"
"I already have a spaceship love" she looked at her smiling
"Where is your ship by the way? And this the weirdest fucking question ever" she rolled her eyes laughing
Clara chuckled "Closer than you think Yaz"
"Will I ever see it, or you will keep it away from me for the rest my life?" Yaz giggled like crazy at the bizarre conversation
"Sure...it's not because of you love...it's me"
"What do you mean" Yaz looked at her a bit confused
"Too tempting...you know, to pull that lever"
"Why?"
"It just is Yaz...it's been my life for so long, but I told you...way too unstable and way, waaay too unpredictable...And if you want me to keep this body, I suggest we stick to Earth. Universe is not a safe place love" she glanced at her and stoke her face shortly
"Alright...I'm not arguing over that one for sure. God our conversations have got weird"
"What do you mean?"
"You know...between the wedding and did you get milk from the grocery store today, we're talking about you regerating and fucking spaceships."
Clara started laughing "Alright...sorry...I'll stop"
"Noo...no you fucking won't...don't you dare. I want to know...spaceship" she shook her head in disbelief "That's just insane"
"And a time ship" Clara added
"Fuck off it's not...You're messing me around now" Yaz turned around laughing
Clara didn't answer that, just laughed at her reaction and stroked her leg. It was the most genuine reaction and she found it adorable. She felt relieved that she could finally say some things, but she was still careful about what she was saying. It was a fine line she was dancing on and she wondered how much longer she would be able to hold on like this. It was never a problem to talk about what she was until now. But there were still many things she avoided in the great circle, hoping they would never have to roll over her mouth. The only thing she ever wanted to roll over her mouth was how much she loved the woman sitting next to her. That was the single most important thing in her life right now. And the rest was, as Yaz said herself, something that they would have to navigate slowly. Except Yaz had no idea how much navigation it would take.
Five minutes into the journey she was fast asleep, and Clara continued to drive with soft music in the car stroking her leg from time to time and making sure she's comfortable. It was a nice sunny day for a change and no rain. She remembered how many times she had drove this path before Yaz was in her life. Three months, to be exact, of driving up and down this road all alone, worried about the future ahead. And now this future seemed brighter. She still hadn't fully recovered from the conversation they had the day before. It was something they had never discussed, and it wasn't the answer she wasn't expecting. Clara didn't really expect much, she mostly hoped for the best in all of this. Simply take one day and one conversation at times. All she knew was that she was absolutely hopelessly in love and was willing to put her hearts on the table and lay herself bare in front of Yaz for any part of her he was willing to take. She just hoped she would want to take all of it.
"Hey sleepy face...wake up darling" Clara said as she parked up in front of the usual pub stop.
Yaz opened her sleepy eyes slumped in the seat and she looked a bit disoriented
"Yaz...darling...are you alright?" Clara turned around concerned
"Mmmm...I just had a weirdest dream"
"About what darling...you look lost Yaz, what's going on?"
"I was dreaming that you and I where on some other planet...And someone was chasing us...
I don't know it's silly" she smiled "I think it's all the talk about the spaceship and where you come from"
"Hey lovely...it was just a dream" she brushed her thumb over her face
"I know...it's ok love it's not like the other time...that was just horrible...but this was so...You know when you have one of those dreams that seem so vivid that when you wake up it feels like you were really there"
"It's our brain that makes it feel like that. Accept it's not very nice when it's a horrible dream"
"It's fine...come on let's go babe"
"Hey...c'mere" she placed her hand at the back of her neck and placed a gentle kiss on her lips "I love you so much Yasmin"
"I love you too...I'm fine...really, promise...Come on I'm starving" she smiled and opened the door
....
They arrived at the hotel and Yaz slumped on the bed watching Clara change for the lecture. She watched as she removed the braces from her shoulders and let them fall loosely over her hips, then pulled her shirt out of her trousers and her long fingers unbuttoning it leaving it open as she took the new one out of the suitcase. Yaz's eyes were fixed on her so Clara walked past the bed kissing her forehead smiling.
"You're cute like this...Are you gonna go out or stay in a hotel?"
"I'll go out. I saw there's an exhibition nearby. It looks cool I wanna go and see it"
"That's nice...I'll call you when I'm done, and we grab a lunch together. How does that sound?"
"I'll miss ya" she pouted her lips
"I'll miss you as well Yaz...but I won't be long honey"
"I know" she smiled and grabbed her hand pulling her on the bed
"Yaaaz...that's extremely distracting love" she laughed wrapping herself around her kissing her "But I neeed to go...I'm so late Yaz"
But Yaz couldn't help it, for her it was distracting seeing Clara parading in her underwear around the room. Her hands were all over her and she longed for her so much
"I need you" she said kissing her in almost desperation pulling elastic of her underwear playfully
"Do not touch my nickers young lady...that's just giving me a head wonk!" she laughed pining her hands above her head and sat on her "I have to go...I'm so sorry"
Clara gave in at the end and laid on the bed for only a few minutes. Their heads pressed together kissing and cuddling, but then Clara gave her that look that meant she didn't want to let go, and she waited for Yaz to let her go.
"Alright....go then" she released the grip pouting her lips "I love youuuuu"
"You're adorable you know that" she kissed the tip of her nose "I want to stay believe me I do...But I can't" she kissed her one more time and then got out of bed quickly getting dressed
Yaz was left alone and took a quick shower to fully wake up and change. She was looking forward to a little walk and exhibition. It was finally a beautiful sunny warm spring day in Oxford, and she couldn't wait to get out of the room which was sad without Clara in it. As the months passed, her need to have Clara with her constantly grew stronger and it was a new feeling in her life. She had never been so dependent on someone's presence as she was now. The feeling confused her a little because it was mixed with an inexplicable fear of losing her. She needed her arms around her and her touch on her skin at all times, her scent around her. And realized that without it she becomes almost anxious. She had no idea if this was normal or not. She had no references because Clara was the first person in her life with whom she was in a relationship, so everything was new, and along the way she was also discovering herself.
She walked around for a bit and sent a selfie to Clara saying she missed her. Got a reply back within few minutes.
"I can't wait to kiss ya...you look good enough to eat xxx"
Yaz laughed every time Clara said that line. She really had no idea what that meant, and Yaz wasn't about to say it either, it was too funny, so she kept quiet. She walked through the exhibition. It was held in the library, and she loved it. Beautiful pictures of fictional landscapes and vivid colors. There was one picture in particular that caught Yaz's attention. It was a picture of an elderly gentleman with gray hair and a futuristic city behind him in the colors of a sunset. She stood in front of it for a while and noticed something strange, something that made her almost press her face to the painting itself. A small and imperceptible detail in the pupil of the eye. A blue box, the same blue box as the one in her garden.
"Excuse me miss, you can't get so close to the paintings" the curator tapped her on a shoulder gently
"Oh, so sorry, of course...Ah...could you please tell me the name of the artist who painted this.
It doesn't say in a brochure" she asked flipping through it
"The author of the exhibition wanted to stay anonymous. You see the proceedings from the sale are going to charity"
"I see..." she said disappointed "I understand. Thank you"
She waited for the lady to move then snapped few photos of the painting and others as well.
Her phone pinged with a message from Clara.
"Hey lovely...finally done...meet your wife for lunch? xx"
Yaz's face brighten at the message, and she quickly replied back
"Can't wait to meet my wife xxxxx"
...
Yaz sat in the restaurant waiting and going through her phone looking at the picture again. She wondered if she was giving too much importance to everything. At the end of the day, it was a typical UK police phone box and nothing out of the ordinary. She thought that maybe, after learning about Clara, she was overthinking everything and seeing patterns where there weren't any. Suddenly, a kiss on her temple made her jump "Fuck me babe!" she jolted
"Oh, I will Yaz" Clara whispered in her ear lifting her eyebrow smirking and then sat down "You do realize you seriously have to stop saying that in public?"
She giggled "I know it's gross...I am aware of it"
"And we keep having a same conversation about it as well...three time to be exact" she said stealing Yaz's juice from the table
"Alright...I got the memo" she rolled her eyes laughing
"So, who's the gray Scotsman in your phone Yaz?"
"Ha?"
"The old git in your phone?"
She frowned confused "It's the painting from exhibition silly woman...look" she passed her the phone
"Oh, that's nice" she makes a rather unimpressed face and gives her the phone back "So, did you have a nice time?"
"Yeah...it's a nice sunny day for a change. I swear I started thinking we have this rain clouds flowing us around"
"Clouds can't follow you Yaz...believe me I should know...if they could I would have half of the sky going after me"
"You silly sod" she laughed and opened the menu
"Mmmm...look I love gnocchi...do you know they were invented by a Roman gourmet Marcus Gavius Apicius, back in 1st century AD?"
"No... how the hell would I know that babe...And how the hell do you know all that as well...you're literally like a living breathing encyclopedia"
"Oh, he was a fun guy Yaz...loved his luxury though...spent way too much money and total party animal" she scrunched her face "Anyways I'll have gnocchi with mushrooms...sounds yummy...You Yaz?"
"Right" she laughed shaking her head at her funny face "It does sound nice...alright I'll just have the same then"
"Brilliant" she smiled and waved to the waitress
"So, what's the plan for today?"
"It's a nice day Yaz I thought we pop over to botanical gardens. I always wanted to take you there, but the weather was awful every time. And it's very romantic" she flashed a smile
"Aaaaa...romantic...Alright I like that plan"
...
They walked around for nearly two hours, slowly enjoying in the sunshine. Yaz wore a beautiful blue knee-length dress with a white cardigan and sneakers. Clara liked to see her in dresses. She found it irresistibly cute mostly because it was something extremely feminine that she could never see herself wearing, but it looked beautiful on Yaz. Her hair was braided into two French braids from each side of her head, and she looked adorable. Yaz kneeled by the little lake and threw food for the ducks and Clara tapped her shoulder pointing to the ducklings swimming across
"Look Yaz...they are so cute"
"OMG that's fucking adorable" she laughed at the cute little flakes swimming behind their mom Clara reached for her hand pulling her up, then intertwined her fingers and continued walking slowly towards the exit
"This was absolutely beautiful. Thank you darling"
Clara smiled and picked a yellow flower tucking it behind her ear "You don't have to thank your wife Yaz. You look gorgeous"
"We are alone you know" she smiled cheeky, and Clara knew what she was implying
She quickly looked around and wrapped fingers around her face kissing her softly. Yaz brushed her thumb over her face smiling "I really fuckin love you"
Clara shook her head laughing "And I really love that dirty mouth of yours"
"My dirty mouth wants to kiss the hell out of you now. So, I suggest you take me back to the hotel" she said giggling
"Alright missy...let's go"
...
They lay in bed for hours, decided not to go anywhere. Just enjoying the time together after spending most of the afternoon outside, which Yaz welcomed with open arms. She was already craving her touch from being away from Clara for most of the morning and then spending time outside. She had also been having bad dreams for days and she didn't want to bother or worry Clara about it, but it was taking a lot out of her, and she wasn't getting enough rest at night. So, during the day she was extremely lethargic and emotional, sometimes even on the verge of tears. The dreams she had were chaotic and terrifying, waking her up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, disoriented, and she would just snuggle up to Clara, burying her head in her neck for comfort.
Clara entangled them so much that there was not even an inch of space between them. She ran her fingers down Yaz's back and showered her face with kisses across her nose, cheeks and lips as she spoke softly. It was hot under the covers and with their bodies wrapped together probably even too hot for Yaz. But she knew Clara was nice and warm, so she didn't mind the slight discomfort from the heat. Her fingers traced Clara's lower back over the vertebrae of her spine and then down her soft curves making Clara giggle every now and then at how ticklish it was. Yaz called it her sweet ticklish bum.
Yaz enjoyed those moments so much, especially on rainy days when they would decide to stay home for the weekend listening to the rain pouring down the roof drain without getting out of bed for hours. Then running downstairs to the kitchen rummaging through the fridge or continuing to cuddle on the sofa.
Clara had spent the past hour talking to her about her childhood. She told her about Gallifrey and what life was like there. She also told her about her so-called mother and how she found her next to a portal on some planet and then experimented on her. Yaz wanted to know, but at the same time she was completely mortified by the story of her memories being erased and not really knowing who she was. She released that Clara had actually been brutally abused as a child and her heart was breaking in half. But Clara talked about it with emotional distance and just told her the cold facts.
She then moved on to talk about the academy which suddenly lit her up inside. She explained about the Time Lords and the Untempered Schism, the gap in the fabric of reality from which the entire Vortex can be seen and how it played a vital role in becoming a Time Lord. It all felt like a Star Wars script to Yaz and her brain needed to adjust to the fact that this was actually the reality of Clara's life. It was probably the first time Clara had told her so much at once. Normally, Yaz would have stopped her when he saw her getting upset, but this time she seemed calm and relaxed. Telling her funny stories about skipping classes at the academy and the stupid things she did that got her into trouble.
It was amazing to listen to, and Yaz also thought how life out there was not so much different than on Earth. Still equally complicated and filled with love, hate, playfulness, passion, happiness and sorrow. A stream of complicated emotions and relationships that had many different layers. And how Clara wasn't really that different from any other human being, the only thing that separated her from humans was her DNA, longer lifespan, and regeneration. But even on Earth some species had this ability, lizards could grow limbs with little or no problem, so it wasn't a concept that far-fetched.
When Clara fell silent, Yaz cupped her face and planted a small kiss on her lips smiling then tucked her hair behind her ear looking at her stunning hazel eyes that reminded her of autumn leaves
"What darling? You look sad? What's on your mind? Is it something I said Yaz?"
"Nooo...OMG absolutely not love. That was mind blowing...I absolutely loved it. Thank you"
"For what Yaz? I don't understand?"
"Giving me that part of you. I know that's not easy for you" she said stroking her face ever so gently "I'm just sad love because you went through so much pain darling. I can't imagine what you went through. Just a thought of you going through something like that makes me feel ill"
"It's in my past darling" Clara dotted kisses over her face "Don't be sad...I didn't tell you this to make you sad. I don't wanna make you cry Yaz...it was so long ago it doesn't hurt me anymore lovley I sorted it out"
"Did you? How?"
"I stole my memories back Yaz" she grinned haply "Just haven't looked at them yet" she scrunched her nose "But I know how you can help me"
"How darling? ...Tell me I'll do anything"
"You can kiss me" she grins
"You silly sod" Yaz giggled ruffling her hair
"I'm serious Yaz...dead serious...It really helps. They are absolutely hundred percent therapeutic"
"Oh yeah?"
"Mmmm...absolutely" Clara smiled and pulled her over, wrapping her arms around her
"Well then I'll just have to kiss you all over" she giggled dotting her whole face in small kisses
"Mmmm...I already feel better Yaz but you need keep going" she smiled
"I think that can be definitely arranged" she grins and slumps under the covers
...
Yaz woke up in the middle of the night. Another nightmare, but when she reached over the bed, Clara wasn't there. She looked around and saw her sitting by the window looking out. The moonlight shined on her bare skinny legs. Her white shirt glistened in the moonlight. To Yaz she looked so beautiful. She didn't want to disturb her, she just watched her in the stillness of the night, wondering what her beautiful little Time Lord was thinking, where she was traveling in her mind.
"I can feel your eyes on me lovely" she turned around smiling and reached her hand out "C'mere"
Yaz got up and sat on the window seat in front of her leaning against her.
"Why are you awake?" Clara kissed her shoulder and wrapped her arms around her
"Just a bad dream...It's fine"
"Again Yaz?"
"It's fine...what were you thinking?"
"How beautiful the sky is in a moonlight. Look Yaz...all the clouds how they shine" she pointed her finger
"It's beautiful...You notice things people normally ignore you know. Mostly they just take it for granted"
"It's a shame...how can you ignore something so beautiful. I like to watch sky at night, it comes alive.... you see worlds that are hidden by the sun"
"I never thought about it that way before"
"Yeah, look Yaz, that's Sagittarius...that's where Gallifrey is...right in that direction...not far from there...Well, 250 million light years from Earth...not that far" she laughs
"Oh...just around the corner then" she laughed "You silly sod"
Yaz put her head on her shoulder and together they looked at the stars. Clara telling her about the different constellations and then telling her about some crazy worlds and pink beaches she mentioned earlier. But this time Yaz believed they were definitely real. She fell asleep in her arms and Clara moved her to bed without Yaz waking up. She just moaned happily as Clara lay down behind her kissing her shoulder blade.
...
Yaz was sitting in a nice cafe waiting for Clara and going through her phone. She texted her mom and sister, then called one of her rare friends, Jenny, and told her all about the wedding. She hadn't seen her in months since she left for France and couldn't wait to meet her next month when she returned. She never saw Clara because she left right after Yaz met her. Jenny was one of those friends whom Yaz trusted completely and was always telling her everything. She cried on her shoulder because of her broken heart many times. Unlike Yaz, Jenny was extremely confident in herself and never cared too much about other people's opinions. She had her own life challenges that made her the person she is today. Being the child of a broken family and a mother who was in and out of rehab most of her life, her younger sister mostly depended on her for the basics, while her father spent his days at the local pub. They had a grandmother who was a lovely woman but was in poor health and was limited in what she could do to help. Yaz's father sent them food from time to time. He loved to cook and was delighted that Jenny and her sister enjoyed every meal he made. When Yaz told her about Clara, she screamed into the phone so hard she nearly broke her eardrum, and when she told her she was getting married, Jenny almost dropped the phone and accused Yaz of making her cry for the first time in ten years. She was going to be her maid of honor, accepted Jenny begged Yaz not to make her wear a dress to which Yaz laughed and said how her and Clara will definitely get along greait.
Yaz managed to kill nearly three hours all by herself and now she couldn't wait for Clara to come back. They were going to the wedding venue today and she was nervous and exited at the same time.
"Hey lovely" Clara came behind her kissing her temple "Who are you chatting to?"
"I called Jenny"
"Aaaaa...When is she coming back?"
"In three weeks. I can't wait for you to meet her"
"I'm excited about meeting your friend Yaz. She sounds lovely"
"She is...I love her to bits"
...
"Exited?" Clara asked smiling as she was parking the car in front of their wedding venue
"Yeeeeesss" Yaz smiled wide, she was shaking from inside and glued her face to the window looking at the magnificent hotel "OMG babe...this looks better than on photos
"Told ya" Clara smiled unclipping her seat belt "Come on" she nodded her head grinning
They came out of the car and Clara reached for her hand. She was nervous herself being here first time with Yaz. She may have played it down all this time but now she was finally here with her, her hearts were popping out of her chest, and she could swear her hands were shaking. She grabbed Yaz's hand tight, and they walked into the reception.
"Hi, I'm the Doctor and this is Yasmin Khan my fiancé. We're here to meet miss Anna regarding our wedding arrangements for June"
"Oh, hello. Nice to meet you both. Yes, could you wait for few minutes please I'll tell her you're here"
"Sure" Clara replied and turned towards Yaz. She couldn't stop grinning and Yaz couldn't stop giggling squeezing her hand
"I'll pass out babe" Yaz said literally shaking
"Please don't Yaz...I can't be in this alone" she laughed "I've never felt so nervous in any of my lives Yaz"
"Doctor" the lady came over
"Aaaa...Hello...Nice to see you again. This is Yasmin Khan. My wife...aaaa future wife...fiancé...sorry nervous. Never been nervous before"
"It's fine. Everyone is believe me. Yasmin nice to meet you...Well, let me show you everything" she smiled and took them around showing Yaz every single detail and talking her through it.
"Dear god.... should I be taking notes?" Yaz said nervously
"No need...I'll pop it all in an email for you don't worry. So how do you like it so far?"
"Love it...What's not to like...this is absolutely gorgeous" she kept smiling still squeezing Clara's hand
"As you see the lavender is still not in bloom but in june the whole garden will be in full blossom and it's absolutely stunning"
"I'm sure it is" Yaz said excited. Her eyes kept wondering around the place nervously. It was actually hitting her how real this was and that it is actually happening
"Well, it was so nice to meet you both this time and please iff you have any questions feel free to call me or email me at any point"
"Sure, no problem" Clara shook her hand "Thank you so much for seeing us on such a short notice"
"It was my pleasure. Have a nice day"
"You two. Bye" said Yaz and turned around to Clara with a massive smile across her face
"Happy?"
"Crazy more describes how I feel babe.... This is awesome"
"Told ya...Sonya did a great job in finding this place. Come on let's go darling. We still have a long way back home
Chapter 19
It was dawn, and the sun had not yet risen over the horizon. Yaz awoke to the sound of thunder and heavy rain pouring down their bedroom window and an empty bed next to her. She put on her pink dressing gown and went downstairs. Clara was standing by the kitchen window with a cup of tea in her hand. She was fully clothed which meant she had gotten up ages ago. It was Saturday, so she wasn't going to work, but she was dressed as if she was. Brown checkered pants and a thin badge sweater. The tight sleeves reveal her slender arms and the outline of her shoulder blades. Yaz stood at the kitchen door gazing at her. It reminded her of the time she had come the morning before their first trip to Oxford and how embarrassing her thoughts had been at time. She was no longer ashamed of those thoughts, on the contrary, she enjoyed them. They made her feel fuzzy inside and tickle her stomach because Clara was absolutely stunning, and she was hers now.
"I feel your eyes on me Yasmin" she smiled from the corner of her lips waiting for her
Yaz pressed herself on her back and Clara wrapped her arm around herself "Why are you up this early?"
"I was about to ask you the same question?" she said kissing her neck then capturing her lips
She slides the note she wrote for her across the kitchen counter "I wanted to get back to bed before you woke up" she smiled "I wasn't planning on getting caught"
"I can see that" she giggled "I caught you red handed babe"
"Sorry Yaz...I didn't plan it. It's Kate actually, she needs my help in something. I never say no to Kate"
"Alright babe...Oh please get some eggs on a way" she laughed
Clara chuckled "Alright babe I'll get some eggs" she turned around and cupped her face "Get your cute bum back into bed now. Doctor's orders" she kissed her gently
"Alright, my favorite glowing spy," she grabbed her braces and pulled them kissing her, but Clara just burst into laughter at her lips
"You're seriously crazy Yaz...Come on...you have to rest, and I have to go. I won't be long" she kissed her forehead and dragged her towards the stairs pushing her up
"Alright...alright...I'm going" she giggled "Have fun babe" she ran upstairs
...
"Morning Doctor...so sorry for getting you up so early"
"Oh, I don't sleep much Kate it's fine"
"I need you to see this. I must say I'm really confused. But you may know what this is" she walked down the hallway and entered one of the rooms "I got Yaz's file, and I was going to give it to you but then I had a look. I was up all night"
"I must admit I'm becoming generally terrified now Kate"
Kate stepped into the room with big conference table and a monitor on the wall. Martha was already waiting for them
"Martha? Well, we are definitely making up for lost time"
"Hello Doctor" she smiled "Nice to see you again"
"Alright...Kate plus Martha, a phone call at three in the morning...I'm gonna take a wild guess...this isn't good"
"We don't know Doctor" Martha said "We are hoping you can fill in the gaps"
She took the remote control and showed the MRI images on the monitor. "We did the scan when she was brought in at 3pm. Then we repeated them the next day early in the morning at 7am. Look"
"This is physically impossible..." Clara said coming up closer to the monitor and swiped her finger over it flipping through the images "...or is it?"
"You can clearly see the damage here" Martha showed on the images "And then this" she pointed
Clara turned to Martha "Do you have her blood sample?"
"Yes"
"I will need that to do the full DNA sequence?"
"I will give you everything because you can do a lot more on Tardis than what we can do here"
"Thanks...I appreciate it"
.
"How is this even possible?" Kate asked
"Not sure yet Kate....I need a lot more information at this point. I will have to run some further test through the Tardis first. I didn't think it was possible"
"Neither did I... I was sure the results were wrong"
"They are not" she kept looking at the scans shocked
"Do you actually know what was done?" Martha asked
"No... I don't" she shook her head "...not everything...All the research information was destroyed before I even got there and all the..." she stopped and turned towards the monitor "I don't have that information"
"All the subjects were killed" Kate finished her sentence looking at Martha
"It could be good Doctor" Martha said trying to calm her down
"It could...But it could also be catastrophic Martha...I need to do more tests"
"Here's the file Doctor and this" she gave her the small black box. I will make sure the hospital gets everything clean"...Please let me know and if you need anything we are here"
"I really appreciate this Kate thank you for letting me know and taking care of her. I really owe you"
"You owe me nothing Doctor. I'm glad I could help"
"I'll call you"
Clara left and Martha took to Kate concerned "How come she was the only one left?"
Kate looked sadly down the hallway as Clara was leaving "It was their way of punishing the Doctor...this way the pain never leaves her"
"But the Doctor always finds a way" Martha said
"That's very true"
...
Clara was clenching the wheel as she was driving home. She glanced at the file on seat next to her. She was worried but also hopeful in the same that she could get more answers. She pressed her phone that was hooked up to the dashboard.
"Doctor? This is a pleasant surprise"
"I thought you'd be happy" she smiled "I need a favor"
"Whatever you ask for is never a favor it's always a pleasure"
She laughed and turned around the corner "Can you meet me?"
"When and where?"
"Ewell Village Park one hour ten minutes"
"On my way"
"Brilliant"
She hangs up the phone and made another call
"Hey love" sleepy voice picked up the phone
"Hey beautiful. I'm gonna be home a bit later. I got held up a bit"
"That's fine darling don't worry about it"
"Hey...pack our bags. We are going on a trip"
"Whaa? When?"
"As soon as I come back...I'm taking us to Brighton...It's sunnier there" she laughed
"OMG...you're crazy...Alright...I better get up then" she laughed
"I love you Yasmin"
"I adore you Bighead"
Clara hung up the phone and smiled. The rain had stopped, but the sky did not look promising. She was hoping for better weather in Brighton, especially with the four-hour drive ahead of her. She parked the car and walked down the main street. It was a nice little place she didn't like big cities or busy streets. Then she remembered the eggs she was supposed to buy and hoped she wouldn't forget, also that she had to go to the petrol station to fill up the car for the trip. All normal everyday things that still seemed strange at times, but she loved the simplicity of them very much.
He saw a small blond woman standing by the lake, baggy pants that reached almost to the floor and a light cream coat that outlined her waist hung down to her knees. She just stood as if frozen in time and space. And in a way she was, he thought. She was as calm as he had never seen her before. The miss rose from the lake from the rain that had just stopped, and the air, which was still cool on this spring Saturday morning, smelled of fresh grass.
"And where did you wonder off in your thoughts?" he smiled as he stood next to her
"Spring 1875, do you remember? The lake by the countryside manner. It was a beautiful morning"
"The horses grazing in the distance" he said "...so peaceful for a change"
"Then you told me, we will make our dreams come true if we really try"
"And you said that dreams don't exist in our world. Only shadows of our past. You've always been a melancholic git"
Clara laughed and turned around "Hello Jack"
"Hello beautiful" he hugged her "I can call you that now when you're a woman. Love the style, classy...it suits you"
"Never lost you charm" she chuckled
"It's been long Doctor"
"It has...come on let's walk" she nodded
"I just left a gorgeous man in my bed, so this better be good" he laughed
"And I just left a gorgeous woman in mine Jack" she raised an eyebrow glancing at him sideways
"Auch! That hurts on another level"
She shook her head laughing "Look" she handed him the file "Yaz…she ended up in the hospital with a seizure last week. Kate and Martha ran some tests, and the results are confusing to say the least. I need to run more tests but before I do that do you have any idea what the hell this is? I've never seen this, Jack."
"Wooow...how is this possible?"
"I'm asking myself same question. It's worrying me Jack...I can't lose her, that's not even an option"
He looked through the file, flipping through the pages then looked at her softly "You won't lose her" he wrapped his fingers around her face "We always find a way. You have a lot of people around you Doctor"
"I need to get the whole DNA sequenced. That'll give me a lot more answers. But I need you to go through the records and see if you can find anything. Anything you think might have been used or something. I can't think of anything. But things like this, Jack, this is years of research, decades, there's got to be a clue somewhere no matter how miniscule I need it"
"I'll do my best"
"I appreciate it"
"Don't mention it...How is Yaz?"
"So far so good. I hope it stays that way. Have you had breakfast? I'm starving and I saw this nice place on the high street"
"You speak my language...let's go. I need all the gossip too"
Clara laughed "Oh, there's plenty... Are you sure you're ready?" she giggled "I bought a house"
"What?"
"And I'm getting married," she laughed
"Hello...?!"
"Like I said...loads to tell you"
He put his arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple "I missed you"
"I missed you too Jack"
...
"Hey lovely...I'm back" Clara yelled from downstairs
"I'm in the bedroom" Yaz yelled back
"Hey beautiful" Clara came up behind her and wrapped her hand around her neck kissing her gently
"I missed that in the morning" she smiled stroking her wrist
"And I will make it up to you I promise" she smiled "All packed?" she asked looking at the suitcases on the bed
"You can take those to the car...it's all done. I just need to pack some snacks for the road"
"Shooot" she scrunched her face
"What?"
"I forgot eggs"
Yaz laughed "I knew you would" she placed a palm on her cheek and kissed her "Never mind, we're going to Brighton anyway I'll just get them on Monday"
"You never get upset with me Yaz"
"I have nothing to get upset about...You're perfect"
"And you're delusional Yaz" she laughed grabbing bags off the bed
"It's called love babe...You can never fuck up so much that I wouldn't forgive you"
Clara's jaw clenched "Right...let's go"
...
It was raining on the way. But not as much as Clara was worried so the ride went smoothly. She was surprised that Yaz was still awake because otherwise, no matter how much she slept, she would have fallen asleep ten minutes into the trip like a toddler. Something Clara absolutely loved it was a strange thing to love. But she found herself in love with small, almost insignificant things. Like the way she would brush her hair and put it in all the different styles with such skill that Clara admired, or her little dimples when she smiled or how she would carefully wrap a tea bag around a spoon to squeeze out the last bit. The little jump she did every time she put on her skinny trousers before zipping them up and how adorable she would look wrapped up in her oversized fleece sweater in front of the TV and then give Clara the sweetest smile when she saw her at the door as she came home from work. Her hearts would skip a beat when Yaz nuzzled her head into her neck showering her with small kisses or rubbing her sleepy face into her back almost every evening. They were those little things without which Clara could no longer imagine her life.
"So, how did your meeting with Kate go?"
"Fine, she was doing some tests on one patient and needed my opinion on some MRI results"
"What is it that Kate really does?"
"She works for UNIT as you know, it's a UN military organization that investigates and deals with paranormal and extraterrestrial threats to Earth"
"You're fucking me around"
Clara chuckled "No, I'm not potty mouth"
"So, this is who you worked for?"
"No" Clara turned around shortly and gave her a little smile "That's who I worked with. I worked with many different government organization Yaz, MI5, MI6, Torchwood"
"What's Torchwood? I heard that before?"
"Similar to the UNIT but UNIT is accountable to the government, the UN. Torchwood is answerable to nobody but the crown. It was founded in Scotland, 1879 by Queen Victoria"
"Right...maybe we should talk about eggs" she laughed
"Iff, you want" she smiled and put her hand on her leg "Yaz"
"Mmmm?"
"Iff this is all a bit too much and overwhelming for you I need you to tell me darling"
"No babe it's not...I would tell you...It's completely insane and it's making my head spin. But I want to know...it's your world"
"It was...Now you are my world" she glanced at her smiling then looked back to the road
"I love you," Yaz said softly and tucked her hair behind her ear, and Clara took her hand, kissing her knuckles
"Talking about my world Yaz. We need to go and buy wedding rings next week"
"Alright darling...any ideas?"
"None Yaz...I'm totally leaving it up to you"
"But you still need to say what you like" she giggled
"I will...but I'll let you choose" she grinned goofy
"You're adorable" she smiled "Oh my dress is done...They called me from the store, I'm so excited"
"I can't wait to see you Yaz...Can't you tell me something...Little bit something, anything"
"I can tell you it's red"
Clara laughed "I already know that cheeky"
"And that's all you're gonna know until 25th of June...I can tell you what Sonyas dress looks like" she giggled
"I know what it looks like she WhatsApp me the photos"
"OMG when?"
Clara turned around laughing "The same day she chose it"
"I can't believe this...you're plotting with my family" she rolled her eyes and Clara scrunched up her face making her laugh
"You know they will be your family now...forever"
Clara smiled "I know darling, and nothing makes me happier in this universe. Honey...your eye is missing the beat...Sleep for a while and I'll wake you up when I stop off"
"How come you wanted to go to Brighton it's a long drive?"
"I dunno...It's gonna be a rainy weekend and I didn't want us to be stuck in a house. Besides...Brighton can be romantic...Walking on the beach and going through the small stores. We can go to the sea world?"
"Yeeees...OMG I haven't been there in ages"
"Sleep now love" she brushed her thumb over her hand
Yaz fell asleep in few minutes. Clara looked at her and smiled. For a moment she forgot about all her problems, wondering if her mind would ever truly be free of them. Will she ever live to see the day when she will be truly happy and have no worries other than forgetting her eggs. Because right now, the eggs were the only thing she really wanted to worry about. But that was not what her life was or had ever been, and she wondered if it ever would be. So just for this weekend, she decided to put everything aside and pretend that none of that existed and that the universe consists only of the two of them.
She parked the car by a small restaurant. Yaz was slumped in the seat hugging a little travel pillow Clara bought her.
"Yaz darling...wake up lovely" she ran her finger over her nose gently
"Mmmm...are we there?" she opened her sleepy eyes
Clara chuckled "No darling we have quite a long way yet. But let's have some food ha?"
"Alright" she yawned
"Had a nice nap?"
"Mmmm....thanks for the pillow" she smiled
"I thought you might like that"
"Still raining" she looked outside disappointed
"Oh well" Clara shrugged "It could be worse. Come on sleepy face. Let's go I'm starving"
They walked inside the cute little restaurant that looked a bit whimsical. Yaz loved the decor that was a bit unusual from the normal restaurants. It looked as iff it was inspired by Alice in Wondered with a big Cheshire Cat drawing on the wall and teacups of all the shapes and sizes hanging from the ceiling.
"OMG this is adorable" Yaz said looking around
"We're all mad here Yaz" she grins making her giggle
"OMG look even the names on the menu are in style" Yaz laughed "This place is crazy how did you know about it?"
"It actually came up on my Google search"
"We need to have a cake Yaz I just saw a crazy cake I really need to try...anything pink Yaz it must be yummy...you know like strawberries or raspberries"
"Or artificial coloring babe" she laughed
"You just killed my joy Yaz" she made Yaz giggle by making extremely disappointed face looking back into the menu "Well, I suppose I should cancel that wedding cake then"
"Whaaaaa" Yaz laughed
"Well, since you don't want anything pink"
"Wait a minute missy...are you saying we are having a strawberry wedding cake?"
"I never said that Yaz...those words never left my mouth" she smirked "Aaaa this looks nice Yaz look"
"It does but I like spaghetti...I haven't had spaghetti in a while"
"Did you know Yaz spaghetti comes from China...not from Italy"
"Really? So, noodles were actually first spaghetti?"
"Yap, it is actually believed that Marco Polo was the one who brought it to Europe after visiting China...But...fun fact is that nobody really knows Yaz"
"I had no idea"
"It makes you wonder Yaz...what are you actually eating Italian or Chinese...or just a mystery food" she scrunched her face "Maybe someone's kid was playing with some doe whiles his granny way making bread and made strings for fun. And then next thing you know their granny though...mmmm that looks cool...I might just do that"
"Your fucking crazy babe" she laughed "You have the whole scenario going on there"
"You'd be surprised Yaz how many inventions in history happened by accident Penicillin, Chocolate Chip Cookies, X-ray Machine, Super Glue, Potato Chips"
"OMG you seriously are like a living breathing encyclopedia babe"
"What's food like where you come from?"
"Mmmm...good question Yaz...Sweeties, any sweeties, are popular on Gallifrey. honey sandwich, which is basically bread toast with honey flattening them together, Karmine pudding, Dactyl Eggs, Blue fruit, Promarzzi bars...but I'm not fond of those it's just a pill that tastes like food...I like proper food"
Yaz just giggled to all of it, she found it fascinating "That's why you eat so much babe...now I get it"
"Mmmm...and because I burn it out Yaz"
"Tell me about it" she giggled
"You're a cheeky bugger Yaz...I gotta watch it with you" she laughed
...
They arrived at the hotel and Clara slumped on the bed.
"You're tired darling, aren't you?" Yaz laid next to her
"Little bit...I need a shower that's for sure. I've been in these clothes since four in a morning" she lifted her jumper to smell herself making Yaz laugh
"How about we take a shower and have a little nap ha?"
"I'd like that" she turned her head towards Yaz smiling then dragged her over the bed into a kiss
...
Clara took her to Sea life later on and she had her very own private tour Clara telling her all about different animal species in a smallest detail.
"I bed you have no idea what that one is?" Yaz said covering the plaque with explanation
"Which one Yaz?"
"That one there" she pointed inside the massive tank
"That's easy Yaz...it's a Zebra Sharks"
Yaz checked the plaque and puffed rolling her eyes "Not again"
Clara laughed "I think that after seventy-five animals you can give up Yaz"
"Obviously" she takes her hand "Bighead" she frowned like a kid
"I can pretend I don't know"
"Oh, shut up" she laughed "Now you're just gloating"
"Mmmmm...maybe a little. Hey, let's grab some fast food and walk on a beach"
It was evening already, and sun was slowly going down. They walked to the pear and Yaz leaned on the railing looking at the sea.
"What are you thinking?" Clara stood next to her
"What's beneath the ocean. There's so much that we don't know about this world"
"That is so true Yaz, universe is so big nobody will ever see the whole lot"
"It's insane when you think...how small we are"
"But that's what makes it so beautiful Yaz...there's always something new to see. Something that will surprise us. Come on, let's go...it's getting cold and I'm taking you on a date"
"I thought this was a date" she slips her hand around her waist leaning on her shoulder
"Neah...just me dazzling you a bit" Clara kissed her head draping arm around her shoulders
...
Clara was already dressed, sitting next to the small dresser and twirling Yaz's mascara in her hand. She looked outside and released that it was raining again and her plans of a nice romantic walk on the beach after dinner were utterly ruined, but the change of scenery after UNIT did help. She caught a glimpse of Yaz getting ready in the bathroom standing in front of the mirror in her underwear and enjoying the view. She was wearing a burgundy lace bra and panties. Her beautiful silky hair cascaded down her shoulders and her underwear exposed most of her bum looking absolutely amazing and giving Clara a serious head wonk. She was actually torn between staying in the room and going to dinner, so she just looked away from the bathroom while she still had the strength to keep her composure.
"Did you see my mascara anywhere?" Yaz came out of the bathroom and stepped between her and the little make up table looking around. Clara raised her hand and passing it to her, looking away at the table.
"What?" Yaz asked confused
"Nothing" she replied with a slight twitch from the corner of her lip
Yaz stepped between her legs smiling and at this point Clara looked up in utter agony as Yaz tucked her hair behind her ears.
"Yaz"
"Mmmm?"
"Iff you wanna make it to that dinner I suggest you move" she said keeping her hands glued to her legs because if she moved, she knew they weren't going anywhere
Yaz smiled and came closer "It's raining" she took Clara's hand and cupped her breast linking fingers with another in the air "And I wouldn't like to get my hair wet"
"We're taking the car" Clara smiled and ran her thumb over her bra causing Yaz to gasp with her mouth closed
"Or we can stay" Yaz said trailing her finger over her cheek
Clara tugged her arm pulling her down and kissed her painfully slow and deep making Yaz's stomach turn inside. She felt a wave of heat pass through her cheeks and whimpered into her mouth in pure desperation. Then Clara pulled away a bit and grinned "You're mean but I can keep my composure… can you Yasmin?"
Yaz wasn't so sure after the kiss, especially after Clara said her name in full, which in itself always turned her on. But one thing she was absolutely sure of was that she was playing a game with a much better player, so she had no choice.
"I can do my best," she giggled into her mouth
Clara tilted her head smiling then winked at her and Yaz knew exactly what that meant. It was a sign that she was going to start begging for mercy tonight until they get back to the room and she regretted teasing her already. She walked back into the bathroom continuing getting ready.
...
Clara took her hand as they walked towards the elevator. Yaz was wearing a rather short dark red dress and high heels that suddenly made her the same height as Clara. Not that Clara was normally much taller. None of the two where the tall women and Clara seemed even smaller because of her petite build. Sonya always told Yaz what a beautiful couple they looked, especially when they dressed up for the evening. Yaz had never had so many evening dresses in her life. But going out to so many fancy places with Clara required a change in her wardrobe. Before, the collection varied between casual and club wear, but Clara would dress so impeccably it was painful, so Yaz had to step up. It also helped her confidence as Clara would constantly remind her how beautiful she looked no matter what she was wearing. Even when she thought she looked absolutely awful in the morning with puffy eyes and messy hair, Clara would tell her she looked lovely. The truth was she never had someone tell her she was beautiful, accept her family and that didn't count. Telling Clara how stunning she was as easy as breathing for Yaz but accepting those same words from her mouth was difficult at first and she would often bury her face in a pillow, crumbling with emotion. She lost count of how many times she would cry at those words, But Clara said more she was crying more she would say them until one day she would stop crying. And now she finally felt herself coming out of her shell and letting herself truly enjoy what they had. Yaz was only able to let herself go thanks to Clara's absolute patience and slow burn in the beginning. Even as they began to sleep together, Clara still retained the same slow burn that led her into this new realm and allowed her to explore herself within it.
"You look very beautiful" Clara whispered into her ear
"So do you...stunning"
"Neah...I'm glad you think that" she smiled
"Happy?"
"Always love" she smiled gently, and Clara brushed her thumb over her hand
...
They were in a cute little restaurant sitting by the window at a small table. Lights were dimmed and there were candles on the tables creating very romantic feel. Clara twirled a glass on the table leaned back into her chair smiling at Yaz who's eyes were wondering around the place
"You like it?" she asked pouring her another drink
"It's beautiful...how do you always find these places?"
"Google" she laughed "I just look for places people recommend...Few times it was bad, but most was really nice"
"Can I ask you something...but be honest with me"
"Oh boy...Alright ask"
"You know when you first time asked me out for a meal.... Was that a date?"
Clara laughed "What do you think Yaz? Was it a date?"
"I don't think it was...but I was confused at the time"
"Well, there are layers to a date Yaz"
"What does that mean?"
"My intention was a date, but I needed to know if you want it to be a date...you know...what if you were married or had someone. Then I assumed you wouldn't even agree to come if you were. You'd tell me to bugger off"
"And then you moved in super speed after you've established that I was a saddo" she giggled
"Like I told you Yaz...I learned the hard way not to waste time...Time always runs out."
"I was in ten different types of pain girl" she laughed blushing
"I could see" she smirked "But so was I if that makes you feel any better"
"I'm glad you did that...Cause I would never...I would rather die"
"You kissed me first though...that was brave" she smuged
"My brain glitched Clara...I wasn't planning it and then I freaked...completely. I was still not sure if that was a date, or I completely crossed vires and you're gonna tell me to piss right off" she laughed
"Oh...that was definitely a date darling, and I was really giving it my best" she sipped juice gazing at her across the table finding the whole conversation cute.
They had never talked about it before, and Clara always wondered what was going on in Yaz's heart those days. She actually felt warm hearing her say those things. She never asked because she didn't want to embarrass Yaz knowing how insecure she already was about all of this she didn't want to stress her anymore. It was nicer to let things flow between them without words. But Clara herself was never good with words either, no matter how much she hid it wrapped in her bravado, she was nervous inside and had her own insecurities.
"It was so beautiful...you made me feel so special" she teared up saying it "But I kept thinking how I'm gonna make idiot out of myself"
"You never did Yaz, and you couldn't even if you tried...it was you who made me feel special" she leaned across the table reaching for her hand between the glasses lacing their fingers together "You told me I was stunning" she smiled "Nobody ever told me that Yaz...Hey...I almost forgot" she reached into her pocket and slide a black box with a gold bow across the table smiling
"Claraaa? What's that babe?" she smiled taking it exited and confused at the same time
"I was gonna wait till anniversary. Then you ended up in a hospital and all I could think of is if you die...and... I haven't given it to you" she shook her head "Oh, just open it will ya"
"Oh baby...you're making me soppy now"
"I'm making myself soppy as well...open it will ya before I regenerate"
"Fuck please don't...ok I'm opening it" she laughed
She pulled the beautiful silk bow off and opened the box gasping. "OMFG babe!!!.... are you kidding me?"
"Never Yasmin" she smiled
She pulled out a set of four stunning solid gold bangles each beautifully engraved. "I have no words...I'm...Clara they are stunning"
"I thought they'd go beautifully with your wedding dress"
She looked up smiling her bottom lip wobbling "I want to kiss you now" she reached across the table for her hand
"You and me both...Your nanny helped me choose them"
"My whaaaa?" she looked at her shocked "Did you just say my nanny?"
Clara laughed "Yap...and Nadjia and Sonya"
"What are you going on about? When? How?"
"Well, I sort of lied one day that I was at work when really I wasn't.... I called Nadjia...told her what I wanted to buy. She said she knows just the right place. Then when I picked her up it was your whole family"
Yaz burst out laughing rolling her eyes "Of course"
"She said her mum knows better about the traditional wedding jewelry and Sonya just wanted to go to a jewelry store" she laughed
"How was my nanny with you?"
Clara chuckled "Fine Yaz stop worrying...I'm good with grannies"
"You're beautiful...you're so fucking beautiful babe" she said grazing at her "Hey...put them on me will ya" she said gently stroking her hand and rubbing her fingers over hers on the table
She was absolutely craving to touch her by this point, especially when Clara fastened the bracelets and ran a finger down the inside of her wrist sending shivers through her spine.
"They look even prettier now that they're on you Yaz," she said looking down holding her hand, rubbing her thumb under the bracelets then looked up "Do you want to go back?"
"I thought you'd never ask"
Clara chuckled and took her hand getting up.
Chapter 20
Yaz was woken up by the sound of thunder. She must have jolted because she woke up Clara who was hovering above her stroking her cheek.
"Hey, it's ok darling. Just the storm" she ran her finger across her face
"Did I wake you up?"
"You screamed a bit. You sure it wasn't a nightmare? You would tell me, right?"
"Did I? I'm so sorry love" she strokes her face "C'mere...cuddle" she opened her arms and made space for her enjoying her weight on top of her pressing her into the mattress "No baby it wasn't a nightmare I promise"
"See I'll protect you" she giggles
"And who's gonna protect your bum ha?" Yaz giggled and wrapped her legs around her hooking them to hers almost locking them in together
"Neah it's resilient against lightning" she makes her giggle
"Good, then I'm protected by your bum" she laughed and moved hair from her face kissing her gently "It's early...let's sleep more darling and you look so tiered love"
"I am...and you're so soft it makes me sleepier" she tucked her face into her neck kissing it "Love ya" she mumbled into it
"Love you too"
Yaz gently threaded fingers through her hair and her sleepy eyes closed until she drifted off again, then a few hours later the water from the shower woke her up and she just rolled over the bed looking out at the light raindrops rolling down their window. The clouds made the room dark and the white sheets almost glowed on the bed. The bed dipped and she felt an arm wrap around her waist and soft lips pressing against her shoulder
"Morning" she turned her head over her shoulder to capture her lips "You smell beautiful"
"And you feel beautiful" Clara smiled pulling her closer runing her hand down her hip "So what would you like to do today" she rested her head on her shoulder and doted kisses on her neck
"What did you have in mind?"
"Weeeeelll..." she kisses her shoulder "It's raining outside so I thought...we could possibly have a cuddle"
"I like that part" she giggles wiggling her bum
"Then we can go to Pavilion...would you like that?"
"Yeeeah...I've never been in it...I saw it from the outside, but I've never been inside"
"Well then you got yourself a date" Clara smiled and kissed her cheek
"Another one?"
"Oh, I'll take you on dates all the time now"
"God, I love you so much you know" she turned over her shoulder smiling, and Clara kissed her gently
Yaz rolled on her back and slipped her hand to the back of her neck deepening the kiss.
"I thought we're going to cuddle" she smiled as Clara's lips started traveling down her collarbone and her hand over her breast down her stomach
"We are cuddling" she looked up grinning placing another kiss on her lips
"Is that what we are calling it now?" she giggled running her hand down her back
"Mmmm" Clara nodded smiling
"Well, remind me never to ask you for a cuddle in public then" she ruffled her hair "C'mere I want to feel you" she said making room for her between her legs
"My favorite place in a world" she chuckled making herself comfortable as Yaz wrapped her legs around her and her fingers lightly stroking the back of her neck.
It was her favorite place for Clara as well, feeling all of her at once. The comfort of wrapping herself around her knowing she's got nowhere to go but to stay right where she was. She looked beautiful with her golden hair framing her face as she was hovering over her gazing at her with her beautiful autumn eyes.
"Make us fly together?" Yaz said tucking her hair behind her ears
It was their little coded language they had developed, and Clara loved every bit of it. She looked at her cute dimples as she smiled at her so pure and filled with so much love it melted her hearts.
"Anything you want lovely" she said and sunk her lips into hers kissing her deep and passionate making her dizzy, then disappearing under the covers.
Yaz moaned quietly tracing with her hands the outline of Clara's body under the duvet as her lips traveled down her body slowly followed by her hands gently trailing every part of her slowly and methodically not missing one single inch of her. She draped her legs over her shoulders and parked herself on Yaz's favorite place sealing her lips on her taking her to the stars. Anticipation of each move and every touch as she was hidden under the covers was extremely appealing to her. The sweetness of not knowing where the next kiss will land or where her hand will travel. Yaz's cheeks were blushed as heat was surging through her. She reached underneath the covers and laced her fingers through her hair arching her back as she felt her deep inside her. She was clenching her hands tugging on her hair gently wiggling down the bed making Clara chuckle having to pull her back towards herself.
"Hey, you...where are you going wiggly worm...almost lost you there?" she laughed kissing her lips
Yaz giggled eyes half open trying to ketch a breath "You stopped cheeky...please don't stop"
"Not in million years...who do you think I am...an amateur?"
Yaz giggled moving hair from her face "Neah babe...I think you're quite a pro"
Clara laughed into her shoulder then went back to her lips kissing her slow and gentle trailing lips down her neck and shoulders moving her seamlessly how she wanted her, draping her leg over her side and pressing herself onto her until Yaz's eyes slammed shut and her head tilted back as her hips rolled over her. Clara watched her getting lost and it was the most beautiful thing to see for her. She moved slowly taking time and making this moment between them last. Yaz ran her hands over her chest and down to her sides pulling her in, she opened her eyes slightly and ran her hand over Clara's face "I love you so fucking much" she whispered, and Clara kissed her palm smiling a little. Yaz felt chest rising breathing heavily underneath her hand, her hearts pumping with each movement and her arm shaking as she supported her own weight. She draped her leg over herself and dotted kissed the inside of Yaz's wrist rolling her hips in a steady rhythm dragging herself over her. It made her smile how Yaz followed her ever move catch up with her, her soft face melting into the pillow. She wrapped her hand around her it and spoke quietly
"Look at me Yasmin" she said gently, and brown eyes opened up. There was a dream of love inside them looking back at her that melted her hearts "Fly for me love" she brushed her finger over her cheek then over her half-parted lips. Yaz trembled clenching Clara's hand digging her nails into it. Clara slumped and reached for her hands wrapping her fingers around her wrist and pressing them into the pillow. Hazel eyes looking at her inches away Yaz felt her breath on her lips as her hair framed her face hovering over her. She picked up the pace and Yaz wanted to scream the feeling almost more that she could bare but Clara swallowed her moans with her lips taking breath out of her lounges then dipped her head on her shoulder shuddering herself dotting small kisses on her hot skin wrapping her hand at the back of Yaz's head cradling it. "I love you Yasmin so much" she lifted her head and kissed her lips
"I fucking adore you" Yaz whispered trailing fingers down her spine feeling her hot breath on her neck. they both sunk into the sheets still and quite foe moment. Their hearts pumping against each other "You're getting cold baby" Yaz said stroking her hair
"I am" she smiled and pulled the duvet over them both then resumed her previous position happily "I'm thirsty and hungry as well" she mumbled into her neck
Yaz giggled wrapping arms around "I know darling...We should go for lunch"
"We will when I can stand" she laughed into her neck "I think I'm still a bit wobbly"
"I'm not surprised" she laughed
They laid like that for a while. Clara resting her head on her shoulder enjoying in stillness of the moment and Yaz's fingers gently trailing down her back listening rain tapping on the window.
"I really love our little trips...I'm so glad you took us here" Yaz said quietly
"Much better than sitting home Yaz isn't it?"
"I do love our home, but I love this as well...it's like having adventures together.... Darling"
"Yeees my lovely?" she looked at her grinning her hair all messy and her cheeks still red
"OMG what a happy face" Yaz laughed
"It's all your fault Yaz" she said kissing her shoulder "What did you want to say Yaz?"
"That I need to pee and you're squishing my bladder" she giggled
Clara burst out laughing and rolled off her onto the mattress "Go silly. We need to start getting ready anyway"
"Alright babe"
"Cute bum" she giggled as Yaz ran to the bathroom
"All your babe" she smiled over the shoulder
Clara rolled onto her back, smiling. Her hearts were filled with love, but also with the hope that their life would truly be like that. She continued to push the fear away and remember Jack's words. They gave her solace in many ways. No, this time she wasn't alone, there were so many around her, Dan, Graham, Ryan, Jack, Kate and even Martha. She was comforted that she was not alone like all those years ago. But it will take time to get used to it again, just as it took time to get used to waking up next to Yaz again. Her bed has been empty for too long. But her broken hearts slowly healed with every touch and every kiss. And every time she feels like crying again, every time Yaz's lips press any part of her, she feels her hearts skip a beat like they did when they first kissed so many years ago.
"Babe...wanna shower with me?" Yaz peaked from the bathroom smiling
"I don't think you need to ask that Yaz" she smiled and jumped off the bed
...
"OMG look at that ceiling " Yaz pointed above their heads as they walked through the Pavilion
"It's stunning, isn't it?" she kissed her knuckles "Did you know that it was built as a seaside retreat for George, Prince of Wales, who became the Prince Regent in 1811, and King George IV in 1820"
"No babe I had no clue...but I'm sure you know everything" Yaz laughed and kissed her cheek
"Of course, I do Yaz"
"I had no doubts" she giggled "And I have no doubts you will tell me everything as well"
"Of course, I will...It's interesting Yaz...So... George was vain and extravagant man with a passion for fashion, the arts, architecture and good living" she started explaining waving her hands around
"So, he was like a playboy" she giggles
"Well, I wouldn't go that far Yaz...but he did like his party and... well yes...lavish lifestyle...So... he rebelled against his strict upbringing and threw himself into a life of drinking, womanizing and gambling"
"Exactly babe...he was a player" she laughed, and Clara scrunched her face "Alright babe I won't interrupt you anymore go on"
"So, he got himself into heavy personal debts Yaz...he basically bankrupts and had to beg...literally beg the House of Commons to wipe out his debts and they finally agreed after he did some seriously embarrassing crawling"
"Nice...I wonder who payed those" Yaz makes unimpressed remark
"Then George hired architect Henry Holland...." she continued to explain everything which Yaz found fascinating, but she knew she will forget half of it because Clara was throwing so many information her brain couldn't catch up with half of it
"Hey, I was thinking something" Clara said on a way out kissing he knuckles
"What were you thinking?" Yaz asked cheerfully
"Would you like to go to Rome Yaz?"
She tugged her hand and swing her around "Are you kidding me?"
"No... why would I be doing that Yaz?"
"Of course, I would love to go to Rome OMFG yes"
"Brilliant...because I already said yes to the lecture" she grinned
Yaz laughed "You could've just said we are going"
"Well...no I don't want to go without you, and I would have cancelled, but I somehow thought you won't say no to that Yaz...It's still polite to ask"
"Sooo...when are we going then? And for how long?"
"It's actually next weekend Yaz...I mean we are so close to the wedding I thought I do it now"
"Alright" she giggled squeezing her hand happily "Can we see Pompey? I always wanted to see Pompey"
"Yes of course Yaz"
"Have you ever been there?"
"Aaarrhh....yeah...Are you hungry? Cause I'm really hungry"
"Again?" she laughed "Alright babe let's get some food"
...
Clara came back to the room and found Yaz packing the bags.
"Hey darling.... all paid" she came up behind her wrapping hands around her waist kissing her shoulder "Need any help?"
"No babe it's almost done" she sighed deeply leaning on her back
"What's wrong darling? ...Something bothering you?"
"Noo....just a bit sad every time we leave that's all"
"You're cute...just think Rome Yaz...then our wedding then honeymoon" she kissed her cheek
"I haven't even thought about that"
"Oh, but I have" she said rocking her side to side "I'll take us somewhere really special"
"Where?"
"Wherever you want to go...we can sunbathe on tropical beaches having cocktails with the lobsters"
"On the pink beaches?" she giggled
"Might do Yaz...just might do"
"You silly sod" Yaz giggled and captured her lips across her shoulder "Come on let's go babe"
...
It was late when they came home, and Clara was exhausted. It took them nearly six hours to get home. She threw the car keys on the kitchen counter and sat on the chair slumping her head on the granite top.
"Hey love...I'm so sorry" Yaz stroke her hair and kissed her temple "This is too much for you babe...I really wish you let me drive"
"It's fine Yaz...I just need a bit of a rest and I'll be fine...That car accident it just took so much time"
"I know darling...Are you hungry?"
"Mmmm" she smiled
"Come on go take a shower and change and I'll make some food. Just don't fall asleep dressed like last time. You need to eat"
"Alright" she got up on tiered feet and kissed her forehead "I won't I promise...I'm too hungry" she grinned
"Alright darling" Yaz stroke her face and kissed her lips "Love ya"
Clara unbuttoned her shirt and pulled the straps down her shoulders. She peered out the bedroom window into the garden and sighed deeply. She had a long night ahead of her and she didn't know how she was going to get through it. But the weekend cleared her mind a bit and calmed her thoughts. She unbuttoned her pants letting them slide to the floor and just stepped out of them. She took shower and slipped into baggy cotton bottoms and oversized top. The smell of food travelled upstairs making her even more hungry.
"Hey love...just in time" Yaz smiled over the shoulder as Clara walked in
"What about you beautiful...go quickly take a shower I'll finish up here" she kissed her shoulder and reached above her head to take the plates out.
"Alright...just finish salad I'll be fast" she ran upstairs
Clara was mixing the salad and staring at the Tardis. Part of her wanted to know, and part of her didn't. But in any case, she would have some answers, she was just afraid of what kind of answers she would get.
...
The soft lights of the console illuminated Clara's face as she sat on the stairs nervously pulling the sleeve of her T-shirt over her fingers and fiddling with it. She stared at the screen, not knowing what to think. Then she suddenly got up and ran up the stairs and entered the library through the narrow corridors. It didn't take her long to find what she was looking for. She walked back past the door and stopped. She closed her eyes for a moment and sighed deeply, then opened the door. Familiar smells hit her face. The bed was still disheveled as it had been left decades ago, nothing had been touched since that day, nothing had moved. A set of rings on the side table and a message attached to a small lamp.
"Last night was like a dream. Forever yours, Y xx"
She ran her finger over it, then looked at the photo by the lamp and smiled at the corner of her lips. A tear rolls down her cheek. It was a strange feeling she felt inside. It was as if she was in limbo between the past and the present. A past that was lost never to return, and a present that she loved with all her hearts, yet a part of her still yearns for that past, still clings to it, can't let go. She closed her eyes for a moment and turned her head as she left the room and went back to the console opening a massive book flipping through the pages running finger over the lines.
"It must be here...come on...I remember" she flipped through one by one "There"
"Genetic temporal extraction....Shooot" she ran around the console to the monitor "But on a human...why...Why on a human?...What were you trying to do?...I don't understand" she ran on the other side of the console
"Doctor?" a sleepy voice picked up the phone on the other side
"Jack wake up" she said frantically
"I am awake I'm talking"
"Oh...Genetic temporal extraction"
"Excuse me?" he sat in his bed rubbing his face trying to wake up
"Arrrh...genetic temporal extraction...I just did the analysis Jack"
"Could you please translate that from the language of a genius to the language of a normal person"
"Temporal gene Jack...the activation of genes within specific tissues of an organism at specific times during development...complicated stuff I know"
"I still need a translation"
"Temporal regulation...a type of regulation of gene expression in which a gene is only expressed at a specific time in development like genes that are only expressed in the light or during flower development, or you know when the baby grows, regulation of insulin or when you're having sex"
"I have a gene for having sex?"
"Noooo....aaaarrhhh...Her whole DNA was rewritten...altered Jack...simple enough? But in a way that I cannot understand there are things added and things taken out...selectively. I don't understand why or for what purpose"
"She's an alien?"
"Noooo Jack" she frowns "She's just changed...a bit...Not like she's gonna grow a tentacle...I just need to figure out how and for what purpose. ...I need more time...I need more information. Just look for anything related to that Jack"
"Got you...anything to do with changing human DNA"
"Yes...thank you....and...sorry to wake you up"
"It's fine I'm getting used to it"
She continued to work for hours going through so many possibilities that her brain hurt. Her eyes grow heavier. It was five in the morning, and she finally left. She slid into the bed and pressed herself against Yaz, burying her face in her hair that smelled of summer rain and ran a hand over her soft, warm stomach. Yaz let out a low moan and turned around pulling her face into her neck wrapping around her. This was the only place Clara wanted to be. The only thing in her life that was more important than breathing.
Chapter 21
Yaz was coming home from work. It was nice to be home for a while and she was happy that what ever happened to her seemed like it would never happen again. At least not in the last two weeks. It was Thursday and tomorrow was extremely exciting for her as they were flying to Rome for the weekend, and she was grateful that her boss had let her leave early. She had literally never left the UK and didn't even know what to expect, but the fact that she was doing it with Clara made it even more special. Their six-month anniversary was literally around the corner, and she was thinking about what to do because she was determined to spoil Clara as much as she could and do something romantic for her at least once because apart from the odd special dinner she cooked Clara organized literally everything else, and she kept dazzling her with the most romantic dates. So, this time it will have to be something special. Today was a bright sunny day and she had the morning shift, so she still had plenty of time before Clara got home from work to do some Googling for a nice place. It was also the day Clara's conservatory was due to be completed and Yaz bought some balloons and ribbon to make it special for her before she went home.
She parked the car in front the house. The garage door was open, and the van was parked outside. Workers taking furniture out. She rushed to see how the work was getting along.
"Hello David" she peaked through the kitchen door
"Oh, hi Yaz...look almost done" he shows proudly
"My god it looks amazing!!...Clara will legit lose it when she sees it" she walked inside, and it really did look beautiful.
They chose cream sofas and a small coffee table. They also finally had a proper dining table in it as well.
"The table is really stunning Yaz, and guys are just getting the chairs out of the van"
"I know I fell in love with that table...stunning"
And it really was a beautiful oval solid wood table in cream color and beautifully crafted wooden legs.
"Oh, could you please do me a favor and bring that bug plant from the garage"
"Yeah, sure Yaz no problem"
"I appreciate it. I tried lifting it but it's just too heavy"
"No problem"
"Would you like some tea?"
"That would be lovely, thank you"
Yaz put the kettle on and started taking out the groceries. She was excited about this evening. It was literally the first time since they had been together that she had been able to properly plan a surprise. Two hours flew by quickly and the conservatory was finished. As much as she missed the view of the garden from the window, she could now see why it was something Clara so desperately wanted and could see herself sitting on the sofa on cold winter evenings looking out into the garden. Clara also had plans for a garden, but she still refused to have a gardener, and after the accident that was something Yaz had a serious problem with. She put balloons up and set the table for dinner. It was getting dark outside and now the place looked even more inviting and romantic with lights from the garden and candles on the table. She heard the phone ringing from the kitchen and rushed inside
"Hey babes"
"Hey lovely...I'm on my way back. Sorry it took longer than I thought. Traffic is horrible but I should be home in about 15 min"
"Alright darling"
"Did they finish?"
"Oh yeah"
"Aaaannnd? Do tell"
"Noo you just have to see for yourself"
"Yaz that's so cruel...come on...just tell me"
"It's beautiful...but you need to see just how much"
"I'm so chuffed Yaz...I'm flooring it home"
"No, you're not...drive normally...I want this body"
"I know you do" she laughed
"Good then can you please keep it?"
Clara laughed "See you soon...love ya"
"Love you too"
She rushed upstairs to quickly get herself sorted and change, taking a quick shower and pulling on a tight blue dress that reached her knees and had an open back. It was one of those that took her back to her clubbing days before she met Clara. She quickly combed her hair and let it loose over her shoulders. Something she really did but she knew Clara loved and just as she finished, she heard a car pull up, so she ran downstairs and opened the door with a big smile on her face.
"Yaz?" Clara shut the car door and looked at her confused "Are we going somewhere, and I forgot?" Clara said and kissed her temple at the door
"Nope" she smiled and reached for her hand "Close your eyes"
"Alright" she chuckled "What did you do Yaz?"
"Just go with it babe...Life may surprise you"
Clara laughed "You suddenly sounded like me there and that's just freaky....Mmmmm that food smells nice"
"Oh, you know what they say...couples rub off on each other love...Be careful little step" she said leading her through the kitchen door
"Can I now open my eyes?"
"Yap now you can" she smiled
"Blimey!!!!.... Aaaaa this is brilliant Yaz" she kissed her head "You didn't have to do all this, but I love the balloons...and the table"
"It does look stunning"
"Aaaa see what I was talking about and look you can see the stars Yaz" she stood in the middle of it holding her hand looking up and went silent for a moment
Yaz looked at her face and she literally released at that point what this was all about "That's why you wanted it? To look at the stars?"
Clara looked down at her and Yaz could she her eyes glistening in the lights "Yes...it was Yaz"
"You miss it don't you?"
Clara pursed her lips and brushed her thumb over Yaz's cheek "Little...But I have you now"
"It's ok to be sad you know"
"C'mere" she pulled her to herself pressing Yaz's back to her chest and wrapped her arms around her "Look the moon is young...it's beautiful and it's a clear night...you can see the Milky Way...right there" she pointed over her shoulder
Yaz knew her move was strategic so she couldn't see her face. But she heard her voice tremble and felt her hearts beat hard against her back. "It's absolutely beautiful" she said quietly
They stood there for a while in silence with Yaz resting on her back relaxed in a gentle rocking motion
"I really love you Yasmin...Nothing makes me happy as you do"
Yaz gently squeezed on her fingers laced together on her chest "Oh baby...I didn't know what happy even meant before I met you"
She turned her head over her shoulder and Clara's lips meet her halfway sinking into her slow and gentle melting every part of her being.
The blinds were closed all around them with only night sky filled with stars above them as they laid in each other's arms on sofa underneath the soft blanket. Candles burned almost till the end and dinner was still in the oven. But Yaz would much rather run her fingers gently down the curve of Clara's waist and dot kisses over her face than eat her dinner. Her skin was still warm and slowly cooling down underneath her fingers. They didn't say much. Their hands and lips spoke louder than words tonight.
"I'm now starting to think about that food" Clara smiled still kissing her.
She must have kissed her hounded times tonight. But her kisses were different, slow gentle and filled with a kind of sadness that scared Yaz. Clara would often go to some melancholic state but when she did Yaz didn't ask too many questions just made sure she knew how much she was loved. In her mind it was more important than words.
"Wanna get up" Yaz asked moving little strain of hair from her face
"Mmmm...soon" she smiled wiggling under the blanket pulling her closer "I wanna enjoy in this a bit more"
"We did everything upside-down tonight" Yaz laughed
"I like this upside-down...I love everything you did tonight...specially balloons...Thank you"
"You never need to say thank you for me loving you. You do so much for me, it was about time I did something in return...oh...I have something else"
"You do? Are you gonna pull a rabbit out of a hat tonight Yaz?"
"Maybe" she laughed and reached to the coffee table picking up a small present from the shelf underneath it "I was trying to hide it on obvious place" she laughed "Happy early anniversary"
Clara opened the little box and her hearts literally stopped beating for a moment "Yaz...I" she sat up leaning on the armrest looking shocked at the cuff earring with two hands and the chain connected to the cluster of stars. Words got stuck in her throat and she couldn't get them out "How...?"
"I saw your ear is pierced but you never wear anything...soooo...I just had an idea and had it custom made...it's you and I holding hands and... you know...stars where you come from that put us together...Do you like it?"
Tears started rolling down Clara's face. She brushed her finger over it in a box and her cheeks went red she was trying to speak but her bottom lip was wobbling so much she was desperately trying to get the world's out "I love it" she managed to say and broke down whimpering kissing Yaz's lips through the tears
"OMG babe...don't cry love" she strokes her face gently. Clara was shaking and Yaz couldn't understand what got her so emotional, but it warmed her heart that she loved the present so much "I wasn't sure if it was your style" she smiled "But obviously it is"
"Oh Yaz...." she wiped her tears, but new ones just followed, then wrapped her hand around her face "I llooove it Yaz...I absolutely love it...you put it on me?"
"Alright baby..." she smiled and kissed her softly "I love you so much
"Oh Yaz...my hearts are so filled with love"
"Fuck babe stop your making me cry now...are we both hormonal or something" she laughed
"Maybe" Clara laughed
"Let me put it in for you" she carefully put the earring in and looked at her tucking hair behind ger ear
"Does it suit me?"
"You look beautiful darling...wanna eat now" she nodded smiling stroking her face
"Yeah, I'm starving" she smiles
"Come on let's quickly hit the shower and test out new table...dinner under the stars"
"Yaaaz stop I can't stop crying"
"OMG ...look who is mushy today" she pulled her in on her shoulder and wrapped her arms around her "I fucking adore you...and you're freezing cold so get your bum up now come on"
"I need to put heating on" she smiled into her shoulder
"Yeah, nights are still chilly"
...
It was Friday, and Clara was rushing to get everything done at the university. She was in her office sorting putting paperwork in a small wooden drawer and then picked up some books putting them back on the shelf.
A man stood at the door looking at her wide black trousers and a white shirt. It was the black braces and the blonde hair that gave her away together with her distinctive body language. Other than that, he would have easily passed her on the street not even recognizing her. Even after an hour of listening to her lecture he still couldn't wrap his head around it.
A knock on a door got her attention and she turned around.
"Ryan!!!!" she jumped
"Hey, look at you...god you look different" he stood for a moment just trying to adjust his brain to the visual
They rushed towards each other and hugged tight "God, I missed you" he said and pulled back
"I missed all of you so much Ryan...this is such a nice surprise.... What are you doing here? How did you find me?"
"Grandad told me where you work so I called on Monday asking when you have lectures...I was sitting in last row" he laughed "You didn't see me"
"Noooo I didn't...old eyes Ryan"
"God I can't wrap my head around it...you look...so human" he laughed making her chuckle "Are you done here? Can we grab a drink?" he asked nodding towards the door
"Definitely...let me just put these books away"
...
"So, when did you come back?" she asked leaning in a chair
They sat down in a small café not far from the university. It was a beautiful sunny day, so they sat outside on the terrace overlooking the local park.
"Came back Monday. I'm so pissed I couldn't come over to see Yaz. Grham told me everything. How is she doing Doctor?"
"For now, she's fine Ryan....let's just hope it stays like that. I'm doing some tests still and I got all my mates helping me Kate and Jack and Martha...you never met Martha ...she used to travel with me. But I still need a lot more information"
"Man, that's just making me cringe...but in all of it I'm glad you two are happy Doctor...Grandad told me you're getting married?"
"We are Ryan" she smiled happily
"Well, that's a great news...so see it did turn out fine for you Doctor after all"
She sighed deeply "Let's hope so Ryan...I attend not to get so happy to fast. What about you? You happy with UNIT?"
"Oh man it's...wooow...amazing...If grandma could see she'd be so chuffed"
"She would be so proud of you Ryan. I will have to go...I'm so sorry Ryan but Yaz and I are flying to Rome this evening"
"Woow....alright no problem"
"Buuut we definitely need to see each other" she gets up pointing a finger at him
"Aaaaa hundred percent Doctor...just let me know when you can"
She hugged him one more time "This was really nice surprise Ryan thank you for coming to see me"
"Hey... family remembered" he bumps her shoulder with a fist
"Fam...my fam" she smiled
...
She was happy driving back home. Seeing everyone again in past few months and having them back in her life gave her new hope and felt like turning a new page. The loneliness she felt for decades was finally starting to leave her and she slowly began to breathe again. It almost felt like she wasn't even aware of how suffocating it felt. She was so used to pushing everything away and compartmentalizing her pain that it became essential part of her character, a coping mechanism she perfected throughout her long life. But this time life took a funny turn so many years ago when three random humans decided to take a trip in her blue box. They changed her forever and way she looked at the word. And she remembered telling them how they will not come back as same people, but she never knew she won't either. And as Graham said that night....it was a good thing. The best that ever happened to her as far as she was concerned. She only hoped that the same luck would smile on her regarding Yaz. Because she couldn't have a universe without her.
She parked the car and rushed inside. It was late and they had a long drive from Sheffield to Heathrow.
"Hi love! " She walked inside and Yaz rushed down the stairs throwing herself at her
"We're going to Roooome!" she yelled like a kid kissing randomly her whole face
Clara laughed as she almost lost a step from the force of that hug "Blimey...someone is exited" she tapped her bum as she hugged her "Are we packed?"
"We sure are"
"Right...I need a shower, change of clothes, some food, one more kiss and we go"
"Just one kiss?"
"Neah" she scrunched her face "Did I say one? I meant five Yaz"
She laughed draping her arms over her shoulders kissing her five times on her lips briefly "I'll go fix the food you go take a shower"
"Deal" she let her go and ran upstairs and Yaz ran towards the kitchen with a big smile on her face feeling like her hart will pop out of her chest from excitement. She was putting a tray into the oven and calling her mum.
"Hey mum...just though I call you"
"Hi darling...when are you leaving?"
"We are literally leaving in an hour"
"Exited?"
"Like fucking crazy...Rome mum...fuckin Rome"
"I know it's amazing Yaz"
"I will buy you all something"
.
"Don't spend your money Yaz...just bring me a stone from Pompey ...I would like that"
"Alright mum...I need to go now, and I'll call you when we get there"
"Alright honey...I love you both"
"And I love you too...kisses to everyone"
"Safe trip darling"
...
"Yaz come on darling car is packed we need to get a shift on...traffic will be horrible"
"Coming!!" she yelled and came out locking the door
"Did you take your pillow?"
"Yeees" she smiled absolutely beaming
"Just asking cause I know you'll sleep all the way to Rome" she laughed
The drive to the airport was horrible and it took forever but they finally came and Yaz's eyes open wide at the sight. She's never been to the airport before and this one was massive and for a moment she felt panicked she'd get lost if let's go Clara's hand, so she was squeezing it really hard. Clara released she was anxious and kept smiling at her rubbing her finger over the side of her hand.
They checked in after a long wait and now they were waiting for the boarding
"You alright darling?" Clara leaned over as she saw Yaz fighting in her seat
"I have to go and pee" she said in desperation
"And why are you holding it then Yaz that must be very uncomfortable" she could help smiling
"What if they leave whiles I'm in there?"
Clara chuckled finding this so cute she just wanted to explode from inside "Then they will leave without me as well Yaz cause I'm not going without you...So go now...fast...run" she laughed and Yaz quickly got up and looked at her confused
"That way" Clara smiled pointing where the toilets were
Yaz felt utterly lost in all of this and a bit stupid as well. She was hoping with time she would feel more relaxed but at this point she yet again felt as if she doesn't belong to this place. Her insecurities would continuously play up on her all the time and she absolutely hated herself for it but being with Clara gave her little bit of confidence with each day and she was hoping that one day all these nasty feelings bubbling inside her would go away. Door of the toilet opened up and it was Clara
"Get a shift on we need to board"
"Alright" she looked at her eyes filled with tears
"Yaz? ...What's wrong?"
"Nothing" she wiped her tears with a tissue and headed towards the door, but Clara stopped her
"You're doing fine...It's ok" she put a finger under her chin lifting her gaze "I took a wrong plane to a different country once...did I tell you that?"
"No" she laughed through tears and Clara wiped her face with both hands "I'll tell you all about it...I miss my destination a lot of times...and time as well" she made her laugh and then took her hand continuing to talk "I once missed 250 years Yaz...and I was trying to get Graham home 13 times"
"You're just trying to make me feel better now"
"Honest Yaz ask him"
...
Yaz continued to be nervous on a plane but once they took off, she was absolutely mesmerized by the beautiful view through the window. Her eyes glued to it as Clara purposely sat her down next to it. Soon it went dark, and she couldn't see outside anymore.
"Beautiful isn't it" Clara asked smiling at her softly. She brought her hand to her lips and kissed her knuckles
"Thank you"
"For what?"
"Giving me a dream" Yaz smiled
"I could debate who's giving who a dream in this relationship Yaz" she smiled "Your eye is missing the beat" she pointed "Why don't you take a nap ha?"
"Mmmm" she leaned her head on her shoulder and in few minutes, she was checked out.
Within twenty minutes she was curled up in a ball with her head on Clara's lap. The lights were out and most of the passengers fell asleep. It wasn't a long flight, but it was at 21 in the evening when they left London so by the time, they got out of the Rome airport it was already pass midnight. Clara spoke fluent Italian which made Yaz chuckle because she wasn't used to hearing her speaking another language apart from French on their first dinner date. But Italian somehow fitted her character more as she would be able to ramble on in even higher speed than in English. And she did with a cab driver all the way to the hotel whilst Yaz was slumped on her shoulder trying to keep awake.
"Yaz...darling...wake up lovely"
"Mmmm....are we home?"
Clara laughed "No darling but we are at the hotel, and we need to get out of a cab"
"Oh...shit...sorry...My god what's wrong with me?"
"It's just you Yaz...you sleep for both of us" she laughed
The hotel was in the right center of Rome and was absolutely stunning, but Yaz was way too tired to acknowledge any of it. She was literally dragging her feet around as they stepped into the lobby.
"Yaz darling go and sit there I'll sort out the room" she pointed at the set of armchairs in a corner
Yaz sat down and she was slowly coming around in bright light of the lobby. Italian all around her seemed so weird in her ears. And air smelled differently than in England. It was also a lot warmer, and she now wondered if she packed the right clothes for them. In all fairness she hadn't thought about how much more north Sheffield was from Rome, or the fact was that they are in Italy. So now she was getting a bit worried. Iff night was so much warmer what will day be like. She kept thinking about clothes then she released her brain is probably melting from everything and this is just stress. In the end both her and Clara mostly wore shirts. She then released she was sitting like a child waiting for her parent to sort out the hotel room and she didn't know if it felt more funny or stupid. Technically her future wife was as old as Rome and that though just totally smashed through her brain.
"Yaz are you alright?"
Yaz was sitting in the armchair with a blank expression on her face staring at one dot. Now Clara started worrying about change of pressure due to flying and could that affect her neurologically. Something she hadn't really thought about and now she started to panic. She took a sonic out and scanned her.
"You're as old as Rome babe"
"Ha... what Yaz?" she answered not really concentrated looking at her sonic reading
"You're as old as Rome" she smiled
"Oh that...aaahh older Yaz" come on baby you need to rest" she looked at the sonic rather worried
"OMG...babe I don't feel that good"
"Shoot...how darling...tell me?"
"I feel a bit sick"
"Right, it could be car ride Yaz"
"Why would I be sick from that?" she got up
"Other side of the road darling...playing tricks on your brain. You never left England darling and then pressure and altitude changes...Come on...let's go. Can you walk?"
"I feel really sick darling"
"Right..." she looked around then yelled to the lady on the front desk "Mi scusi signora, dov'è il gabinetto?"
"Qui a destra signora" the lady replied and Yaz was totally confused but Clara wasn't she said something else that Yaz couldn't make out either
"Come on Yaz come here" she grabbed her by the arm and Yaz literally felt those few steps that she had to make like she will start throwing up on the floor "Come on darling" she dragged her through the door and then booted the door of the cubical
"OMG!" Yaz whimpered and Clara lowered her literally to her knees holding her head above the toilet
She felt like she was going to die. Cold sweat coming over her then blank like someone switched off the lights and she felt like falling. The feeling scared her but then it felt like she fell asleep and was in a dream. Soft lights around her and orange pillars like massive crystals towering over her. She was lying on the mattress and looking up at massive, tall ceiling with hexagon shapes. Clara's head was tucked into her neck and her hand over her chest. Suddenly it felt so cold, and she herd her calling her name from the far. Then sounds changed and her voice was closer. But she felt so cold.
"Yaz...Yas please wake up Yaz"
She opened her eyes and saw Clara above her completely frantic
"Baby" she replied faintly "What happened?" It took few seconds for her to release she was lying on the toilet floor
"Yaz darling" she brushed her fingers over her cheek then zoomed a sonic over her again "You passed out on me darling"
Yaz suddenly started feeling emotional and she had no idea why. Tears running down her face "Clara..." she whimpered crying "I'm so scared"
"Hey...hey...it's ok Yaz...its ok darling" Clara stroke her forehead "You just passed out...it's gone, it's ok...Come on" she got ger up and scooped her up into her arms carrying her to the lobby then sat her down on the chair
The lady from the front desk came over concerned and Clara was saying something in Italian she didn't understand but few moments later she brought a wet towel, and a glass of water and Clara wiped her whole face with it. It felt good the cold water on her face.
"Hold it there darling" she leaned her in the chair and started digging through her bag taking something like pencil out pressing it to her neck. It was injection and Yaz flinched "It's good I take my medicine kid everywhere ha?" she smiled and kissed her forehead
Yaz started feeling better within few minutes and slowly went to their room.
"I'm so sorry for that" she said sitting on the edge of the bed whilst Clara was undressing her
"For what Yaz? ...Arms up darling" she said taking her t-shirt off
"Throwing up...that's so embarrassing"
"Don't be silly Yaz...throwing up is a normal body function nothing to be embarrassed about. Specially with me...I'm not just here to kiss you, you know" she took her shoes off "Come on love let's get you into shower ha?"
Yaz was weak, her body felt like jelly, and she was still feeling a bit of nausea, but it was going. Clara showered her and helped her brush her teeth holding her above the sink. Then put her to bed.
"Feeling better?"
"Mmmm.." she nodded "I'm so sorry" Yaz started crying again "I just ruined everything"
"Hey...hey" she moved her arm from ger face "You haven't ruined anything...we just came here, and we have two beautiful days in front of us. But you need to rest now, ok? ...Promise me? I'll take you to Pompey tomorrow" she smiled
"Mmmm...you will?"
"I will if you stop crying" she stroke her forehead and ran her finger on a little spot between her eyebrows
"I love you"
"I adore you...come on...sleep now please. I need a shower...I won't be long I promise" she kissed her forehead and got up.
Clara reached for her phone from the side table "Najia hi it's Clara"
"Hi hun...Is everything alright?"
"Well sort of ...kinda...should be fine really. Yaz is just feeling a bit poorly. She threw up as we came to the hotel"
"OMG...what"
"And passed out in a toilet as well...sorry I have to tell you I can't not to" she scrunched her face not feeling comfortable giving her the news
"No, no I'm glad you are...is she ok?"
"She should be by the morning. I gave her a shot...it should be fine. I think it's plane and then the car, other side if the road...playing nasty stuff on a brain believe me. And also, she was so excited, so her adrenaline was higher...she's sleeping now" she stroke Yaz's hair as she was talking to her mum
"Alright thanks for calling...I trust you taking care of her. Please kiss her for me and have her call me in the morning"
"Will do...Night"
"Night darling"
Clara kissed her head and whispered "From your mum"
"Mmmmm" Yaz murmured and turned on her side
She unbuttoned her shirt and removed the cufflinks leaving them on the table then turned to the bed checking that Yaz was asleep or at least trying to sleep. Then undressed and got into the shower leaning against the wall and threw her head back letting the water run down her face. She felt the worry in her stomach accompanied by another feeling, helplessness without the Tardis. A vulnerability she was chronically aware of at this point. She was literally miles away from everything that made her really who she was, because without it, all she had was her brain and her sonic. It was a cruel joke, she thought and remembered someone's words long ago "You are nothing without your Tardis Doctor" She dried her hair and quietly opened the bathroom door hoping that Yaz was asleep then slowly slid into the bed laying down next to her. As if Yaz sensed her, she moved snuggling into her arms and her head into her neck moaning softly. Clara stayed up practically until dawn until she fell asleep utterly exhausted.
Chapter 22
Clara was up early getting ready for her lecture. Yaz was still sleeping, and she was hoping she will continue to do so until she comes back in few hours. She wanted them to fully enjoy in a day but for that to happen she needed Yaz to rest. Although she was still worried that without proper equipment, she's missing something and had to push that through at the back of her mind iff she was to enjoy in this holiday. She got dressed and kneeled next to the bed moving a strain of hair from her face.
"I love you Yasmin" she kissed her head and walked out of the room
When Yaz woke up Clara was still out. She found a note on the table.
"If you are reading this I'm still at the lecture, and it means I miss you and I'm worried about you. Please text me and call your mum. Also press zero on a phone next to the bed, they speak English and order yourself some breakfast.
I love you Yasmin xx"
"P.S. there's something for you underneath the pillow xx"
She went to the bed and lifted the pillow. She smiled as she picked up a brochure for Pompeii then attached the note to the mirror and text Clara straight away then called reception and finally her mum.
"Yaz...thank god...how are you feeling?"
"Better mum...don't worry"
"What happened? Clara says you passed out"
"Yeah...it's scary but I'm fine I'm more embarrassed about throwing up in front of her to be honest...I just wanna die"
"Don't be silly Yaz it's all a part of life I'm sure eventually she will in front of you as well"
"I suppose you're right just still feels brutal"
"Where's Clara?"
"On a lecture she should be back soon. We are going to Pompeii today"
"Aaaa that's nice...bring me that stone you promised"
"I promised you a gift not a stone, but I'll get you both. Oh, my breakfast is here mum"
"Alright baby call me again later don't let me worry Yaz please your miles away"
"I will promise I gotta go love ya" she said opening the door
"Love you too honey"
She took the tray and sat down at the table eating breakfast looking through the brochure and then went to the bathroom. As she stood in the shower, she thought about what she saw when she passed out, she probably would have forgotten or even dismissed it by now if it hadn't been there constantly somewhere in the background. It wasn't bad at all it was even strangely comforting. It was a beautiful sunny day and when she got dressed, she opened the window of their room. The smell of sea air and some unusual plants entered the room. She could have sworn the air smelled like rosemary. It was so surreal to be in Rome, in fact it was unreal to be out of the UK all together. Yaz leaned against the window seat, enjoying just watching the people on the street below and tried to look pass the buildings as far as she could. Normally, she would just get dressed and go out, take a walk or sit down for a coffee, but she wasn't brave enough to do that in another country where she didn't know the language, so she decided to wait for Clara instead. She hoped that after spending a day just walking around, she would be more comfortable going out on her own. But for now, it was interesting enough to watch people go about their daily lives in a foreign country. Her phone rang and it was Clara, she immediately felt her heart skip a beat because it meant she was going back to the hotel.
"Hey lovely" Clara said cheerfully
"Hey love...where are you?"
"On my way in a cab. Why don't you wait for me downstairs in front of the hotel if you're ready to go. I'll literally be there in ten minutes"
"Yeah, alright then"
"Briliant...love ya"
"Love you too...see you"
She hangs up and quickly gathers all her things and shoved them into her small leather backpack then grabbed her jacket from the chair. She hoped that wearing just her black jeans and t-shirt with a spring leather jacket would be fine for the weather, and trainers seemed like a comfortable choice for today.
"Madam, I hope you feel better today" a lady at the front desk addressed her as she came downstairs
"I do...my god that was embarrassing yesterday. Thank you so much...you were so kind to me"
"It happens more than you think mam...It's nothing out of the ordinary for us"
"Oh, I left a tray from my breakfast in the room"
"It's ok mam, don't worry about it. Someone will clean the room anyway later on"
"Thank you...have a nice day" Yaz smiled and waved to the lady as she headed outside.
"Hey...what's a cute girl like you doing here all by herself?" Clara grins from the open window of the cab as it pulled up by the hotel
"Oh, I don't know, waiting desperately for her wife I suppose" Yaz laughs
"Get your but in here" she laughs opening the door
"Hey babe" Yaz hugs her tight as she sat in a car
"So ready to have a nice day?" Clara wraps her fingers around the side of her neck and kisses her forehead
"Mmmm...definitely....waaaw don't you look vintage today...Me like this look" she flipped her lashes
Clara looked like she stepped out of a 1930s archeological site in calf-length badge pants and brown boots. She had gorgeous chocolate braces over a bright shirt with rolled up sleeves and it all looked so chic that Yaz was already drooling before they even left the hotel. There was something about the way Clara dressed that Yaz absolutely couldn't resist from the day she met her. But then Clara was no different with her when Yaz would on rare accessions put on a dress. She would see her eyes ginseng and her hands would uncontrollably wonder off on places where normally they never would in public, as iff Clara would for a moment not be aware of their surroundings.
Clara was giving instructions to the cab driver waving her hands around and Yaz could see he was rolling his eyes completely unimpressed with whatever she was saying to him. She could make out he was protesting quite vocally but she became even more vocal in return until the man just simply gave up and as far as Yaz could tell sounded as he was swearing. Finally, Clara turned towards her.
"Sorry about that Yaz....How are you feeling?"
"For now, fine...no nausea today...thank fuck for that...I really can't deal with that. I'm so sorry about yesterday...that was so embarrassing"
"Nonsense Yaz...stop that. I'm just glad you're feeling better today. That's the most important thing"
"So, what are we doing today?"
"I thought we have a little walk around. I wanna show you few places and we can sit for a coffee. I haven't had one today and I really need it. I haven't slept much last night"
"Oh god...now I feel even worse"
"And now I wish I haven't said that...I'm fine just need a coffee that's all. The train for Naples basically goes every half hour so we can leave around one and if you're hungry we can have some nice lunch just before we leave"
"I'm basically leaving all of this to you...it all sounds great"
"Aaaa here we are" she said happily looking through the window then paid still unhappy driver "Oh, Yaz you will love this"
They stepped out of the car and in few minutes of walking found themselves in front of the massive fountain.
"Fontana di Trevi darling" she took her hand and pulling her "Isn't that just stunning?"
"OMG that's the biggest thing I've ever seen in my life" she smiled "It's beautiful"
"It was designed by Italian architect Nicola Salvi and completed by Giuseppe Pannini and several others. Standing 26.3 meters high and 49.15 meters wide, it is the largest Baroque fountain in the city and one of the most famous fountains in the world Yaz"
"Absolutely stunning and I will so forget all those things you've just said" she giggled "OMG look at the horses...my god"
"Hey, make a wish" Clara gives her a coin "...toss it in there" she nods her head
"Alright" she closed her eyes and flings the coin into the water
"So? ...What did you wish for?" Clara grins close to her face
"Nooooo....can't say my wish out loud"
"Oh, we can where I come from" she said disappointed "I hope it had something to do with me..."
"It had everything to do with you" she squeezed her face between her palms giggling
"Awwww, now that just made my day Yaz...Come on...loads more to show you" she grabbed her hand and pulled her away
It was sunny and hot. They walked through most sites and did some shopping for souvenirs, had a nice coffee near the fountain that made Clara ping right back into her hyper self then headed towards Forum Romanum. Yaz took tons of photos and some goofy selfies with her and Clara.
"I haven't been here since Julius Caesar" Clara said as they walked through the Forum "It was all a bit different then"
"You still give me a brain ache when you say stuff like that...It must be weird...walking on a bunch of ruins now"
"Mmm...I suppose I sort of got used to it with time...Also, I could always go back...Hey did I tell you when I was at Caesars party..."
She told her loads of stuff about Rome being her little guide again as usual.
"Hey, come here" she pulled her hand to jump on one of the massive slabs of stone and stood behind her "Close your eyes"
"Whaaaaa?"
"Go on...close your eyes" she wrapped her hands around her and spoke into her ear almost whispering "Now imagine buzzing streets, it's hot, really hot...sun burning from the sky...smell of rosemary and lavender in the air....wooden carts, there on left can you see men walking in their shiny togas, and on right there's a kid running for a lecture...he's terrible late and his teacher is gonna be so upset, see the horses...can you hear their hooves on the stone, and those women on corner laughing...look how beautiful their dresses are and their hair braded falling over their shoulders"
"It's beautiful" Yaz sighed
"I know...it was"...she kissed her cheek "too bad they were insatiable" she grinned sideways
"Well, that killed the magic" Yaz rolled her eyes
"It's true Yaz...Rome could've been potentially something good...but they were obsessed with ruling the world. They actually doomed themselves. But it was magnificent in many other ways"
She hoped down from the stone and reached out for Yaz's hands.
"I still wish I could see it how it was then. It must have been beautiful"
"It was...I'm hungry...you hungry?"
"Yeah definitely"
The day passed very quickly between sightseeing in the center of Rome and lunch. At last, they reached Pompeii. As they passed through the main gate, Clara's heart grew heavy, but she kept a brave face the whole time. It almost seemed like they were the only ones there once, just the odd tour group that passed them by. Yaz was happily hoping with her phone, snapping loads of photos and going into almost every house she could. But Clara continued to drag her feet through the dust, the ash still present on the ground. Most of the time she kept her head down, her hands deep in her pockets. Suddenly she saw the house, the bread oven still there, the whole inside the stone where the pots with food would be placed over the fire. She went inside and ran her hand over the stone warmed by the sun and remembered the stalls and the people, the smell of food in the air. Her eyes turned to Yaz and suddenly she saw Donna in a blue dress.
"You alright?" Yaz placed her hand on her shoulder blade making her jolt
"Ha? ...Ahh...Yeah" she smiled "Sure...why wouldn't I be?"
"You're very quiet since we came here. Is something bothering you?"
"No lovley...nothing bothering me" she takes her hand "Let's go"
She wanted to tell her, she desperately wanted to share every bit of herself with this woman she loved so much. But how to say such things. How to even explain the choice she had to make, which ended up killing 20,000 people and turning this beautiful place to ashes. How can you begin to explain what it's like to walk on the remains of your past, while your lungs breathe in all the pain, death and sadness, and the screams that you will never let out of your head. After that night she never came to this place again. And she knew it would be a challenge. She also knew that she owed it to those who died that night to come to this place and face it, not run away from it like a coward. She knew she had to finally own it. She also knew she hasn't caused it directly but nevertheless it was her hand that made that choice.
Yaz was silent for a while, just holding her hand and walking around. She knew she was lying and was intelligent enough to put two and two together that this place was somehow connected to her past. But she also respected her decision not to share it. She knew that one day she would, only today was not that day. So, she rubbed her thumb on one side of her hand, subtly letting her know she understood, and when Clara turned, she smiled slightly and rubbed her face against his shoulder.
"Hey...let me show something beautiful" Clara said and pulled her along
Shortly they entered a house that wasn't like the others. It was almost fully preserved, and fountains were working in a little courtyard. Beautiful frescoes adorned the walls and stunning mosaic could be still seen on the floor.
"Look darling, do you know what this room is?"
"No"
"It's called lararium. It was a shrine to the guardian spirits of the Roman household"
"Waaaw...so this was where they were praying?"
"Yes love"
"Feels almost intruding to be here now when I know what it is. But also like the place where they are most present"
"That's so true Yaz...Should we say something?"
"Yes...What would you say?"
Clara signed and looking up to the ceiling "That I'm so sorry for what happened, and I do hope they found their piece in Elysian Fields...What about you Yaz...what do want to say to them?"
"Thank you for the privilege of walking through your home and allowing me to be a small part of your life. I hope you're happy wherever you are now" she turned to Clara and smiled
"That's beautiful...let's go...much more to see"
"Aaaaa....is this what I think it is?" Yaz pointed to the rather graphic fresco on the wall of one of the houses
Clara laughed "Yeeeah...about that Yaz...This is Lupanar"
"The lupa what?" she frowned confused
"Brothel Yaz" she laughed
"Are you serious?"
"Oh yeah...prostitution was legal in Rome so, yeah...this is the house of pleasure Yaz"
"OMG those are really graphic" she stood in front of one of the frescoes studying it for a minute "It almost looks like a menu" she said looking at others making Clara laugh
"Right...well...it was really. Sailors didn't necessarily speak the language so they would...well pick the service sort of speak...they were definitely not shy in this place Yaz"
"Blimey..." she started laughing
"Should we continue?"
"Sure...your cheeks are really flushed babe I think it's too hot here" Yaz smirked passing next to her
"Cheeky bugger" she pushed her outside to the stairs "We should head back soon...it's getting really late" she said taking her hand "And you need to rest. It's been a long a day for you Yaz"
"Alright...but first help me pick a nice stone for mum"
In Clara's mind there was nothing appealing about having a stone from a place like this. But it was a human thing to do, and she learned a long time ago to simply go with it.
Yaz fell asleep on her shoulder in the train on the way back. She was looking out the window and felt a little lighter inside. It was hard thing to do, but she did it and the heavy burden she carried on her shoulders felt much lighter for time being.
When they arrived at the hotel it was already late and Yaz was half asleep. She had slept on the train, but the feeling of nausea the night before had taken a lot out of her, and now she seemed to just be lethargic. She rubbed her face against Clara's back as she unlocked the room. That made her smile as she literally draped herself over her back.
"Oh boy, someone needs to sleep" she smiled
"Mmmmm....I need a shower"
"We both do. I've been in these clothes since six in a morning" she said throwing a key on a table
She casually pulled the straps over her shoulders letting them fall down her sides and unbuttoned her shirt pulling it out of trousers. "Well, at least I have no lecture tomorrow, so we have a whole day"
"I can't tell you how happy I am for that" Yaz took her trousers off stepping out of them on the floor and slumped on the bed
"Iff, you do that Yaz you're gonna fall asleep in five seconds"
"Aaaaaarrrhhh....I know...you're right...I just need to reach that bathroom" she rolled on the bed looking towards the door
"Come on sloth" Clara took her hand dragging her across the bed until she finally got up "I ordered dinner so get your bum up before it arrives"
They took a shower and got changed then sat on a floor next to the bed enjoying in their dinner.
"So, what's the plan for tomorrow?" Yaz asked but Clara's face was in her phone
"Ha? ...What? ...Sorry Yaz" she said holding a phone in one hand and a chicken nugget in another "I just had someone text me" she put the phone down on a floor
"Tomorrow? What's the plan?"
"Oh...just though we go around few more places I wanna show you...Castel Sant'Angelo...stunning...I think you'd like that one"
"Another castle...you do like your castles, don't you?"
"I must admit I do...Some are absolutely stunning...Are you gonna eat this or?" she points to Yaz's plate
"Noooo...eat it" she laughs "I know you desperately want to"
"Just asking"
"Eat silly...I had enough"
Clara grinned haply and exchanged the plates
"I still can't get over how much you eat"
"Mmmm...I do love my food Yaz" she tried talking with her mouth full
"You do seem a lot happier than earlier" Yaz said leaning over and moving her hair tucking it behind her ear
"I don't have nice memories from that place Yaz"
"I figured that much...I just don't understand why you took me there. You could've said something you know. I wouldn't get upset"
"Neah...It's alright Yaz. I needed a closure" she took her hand and kissed her knuckles
"I just hope you got one" she sat on the floor, legs crossed looking at Clara going through her plate satisfied
"What's wrong Yaz? ...Why did you go so quiet?"
"Tiered I guess" she puffed and slumped her shoulders then took her phone and started flipping through the photos "You look cute there"
she turned the phone and Clara scrunched her face then dragged her bum across the floor to sit next to her and go through the photos.
"Aaaaaa...I remember that street Yaz" she pointed "There was a beautiful store there and in front of it they were selling some fabrics rolled up in kind of big braids...like the once you make with your hair"
"Cool"
"Oh, there were so many people, it was buzzing...and loads of fruit and vegetables on stands...oh Yaz I wish you could see it" her eyes glistened as she spoke
"You're cute" Yaz kissed her forehead smiling
"And this one is really pretty one of you Yaz...send me that one" Clara pointed on her screen
Yaz watched her sit on the floor and wave her hands, explaining every detail and every single person she saw on the street in minute detail. She shone with so much life and light that for a moment she seemed like a sweet child explaining how their day at Disney Land went. She saw that almost childlike innocence come off her, which was so beautiful and warm like a great bright spark of happiness. But she couldn't help feeling that it was somehow dampened by what had happened to her throughout her life and made Yaz so sad.
"Come on get a shift on...you need sleep" Clara got up and reached for her hands
"Yes mummy"
"Now that just doesn't sound right Yaz" she laughed and pushed her on a bed
Yaz pulled her by the arm on the bed and they ended up wrestling and hitting each other with pillows like they were 10 years old. Clara began to tickle her so much that Yaz screamed the house down.
"They're going to throw us out" Yaz was laughing "Get offfff meee!"
"You started it" Clara smuged sitting on her holding both of her hands above her head "Say you give up"
"Never!" Yaz giggled
"I'll tickle you till you do"
"Don't you fuckin dare ..." she tried fighting her off kicking her legs "Aaaaaa..." she yelled
"Say you give up" Clara giggled as Yaz was rolling trying to get her off
"I never....aaaaaarrrhhhhh.... give up" she was about to piss herself "Clara, I'll piss myself...not joking"
"You just want me to let you go"
"Noooo I am legit gonna piss right now if you don't let me go"
She let her go and Yaz ran to the toilet "Nutter!!!...And so not fair fight...you're stronger"
Clara laughed "Well your opponent is not always gonna be the same size or strength Yaz" she said casually rolling on her back
"Clearly " she rolled her eyes laughing
Clara got up and switched all the lights off then crawled into bed. She was tiered, being up since six in the morning and not having more than 3 hours sleep the night before was definitely catching up with her. Yaz glued herself to her back kissing the back of her neck and rubbing her face into her shoulder blade.
Clara kissed her knuckles and placed her hand over her chest.
"Sleep now...need to rest. Love ya"
"Love you too...Nightie night"
"Mmmm" Clara mumbled and fell asleep within a minute
Yaz felt her breathing slowly and she twitched just a little as she was falling deeper into sleep. She wondered what she was dreaming.
....
Early in the morning, Yaz was taking a shower, and Clara just took the tray with their breakfast. She sat down at the small table drinking her coffee, then looked towards the bathroom and picked up her phone
"Hey...sorry...I couldn't talk last night"
"That's fine...I've got some stuff. Not sure if that's what you're looking for. When can you meet me?"
"Fancy a trip to Rome?" she grins and takes a bite of the toast
"Uuuuuu romantic"
"I've always been romantic Jack" she laughs "One hour... by Pantheon? There's a nice place opposite...Agrippa"
"Deal"
"Who's Jack?" Yaz comes out of the bathroom wrapped up in a towel and grabs her wrist stealing her toast
"Are you ear dropping on my phone call?" she slaps her bum laughing
"Maybe" Yaz answers cheeky and sits in her lap
"He's a very old friend of mine Yaz" she kisses her shoulder "I need to meet up with him for about an hour just to pick something up from him"
"Let me guess.... he used to travel with you"
Clara started laughing slumping her forehead on her shoulder "Yes Yaz...he was"
"Bloody hell babe, have you been running inter stellar traveling agency or what?" Yaz said casually sipping a tea making Clara laugh like crazy into her shoulder.
"Silly sod.... No Yaz...Remember Torchwood I was telling you about"
"Mmmm...the Queen's secret alien police"
Clara just couldn't stop laughing "Yes Yaz that one...well, Jack works for them"
"Oh...I see...more spy friends.... Right"
"So... listen..." she wraps her arms around her "Jack is helping me to get to some information. Remember when Kate called me that morning"
"Mmmm...when you were sneaking out of the house, and I caught you"
"Yeah...not proud of that one...But yes...well, it's regarding that and it's really important"
Yaz sighed and leaned on her in a chair "I do wish you just fucking say everything and get it off your chest"
"I love you" Clara nozzles her face into her hair
"I know you do...I just fucking hate to see you in all this pain that's all"
"Come on lovely...let's get moving. You're gonna like Jack"
....
They arrived at Piazza della Rotonda, but there was still a little time left, so Clara took her too to see another beautiful place that would leave her speechless.
"Pantheon...temple of all the gods Yaz" Clara said as they walked inside of impressive building "Look up darling"
"Woooow...that's just stunning.... But it looks like a church"
"Originally it's built as a temple of all the gods, then it was converted into a Catholic church at the beginning of the 7th century Yaz. The Pantheon is an architectural marvel, the most impressive ancient temple in Rome. Its dome is the world's largest non-reinforced dome, and to this day it is not known how the Romans built it 2000 years ago.... Well, it's all mathematics and physics...it's holding itself up really" she shrugs and looks up "Also some amazing buildings skills...But we are still about 50 years from that...It be nice to just pop over and show you"
"Are those graves?" she stood in front of the statue
"The tomb of Raphael....one of the most important artists of the Italian Renaissance...look darling there" she points to the inscription "Here lies Raphael, by whom nature herself feared to be outdone while he lived, and when he died, feared that she herself would die."
"That just fucking made me soppy"
"He died very young...he was only 37....And I'm making this depressive so let's move on" she dragged her by her hand
As they went outside and down the steps her face lights up "Jack" she waives
"Doctor" he runs over and kisses her cheek "Hey old girl"
"Did you just call me old?" she frowned
"Yazee sweetie" he turned around happily to completely confused Yaz. She smiled over his shoulder to Clara when he grabbed her hugging her tight
"Alright don't squeeze the life out of her I need her you know" Clara said "Well Yaz...this is Jack as charming as always...a bit cheeky as well so watch out...shall we?"
"So, how's Rome for you two? City of love" he winked at Clara
"It's been really nice, just not enough time...Never enough time Jack...I feel like I've been dragging Yaz around as many places as I possibly can in just two days...I can't decide if she's happy or just exhausted and polite"
"Noooo silly...it's been exiting" Yaz said smiling "I just haven't had time to take it all in. We went to I think seven places yesterday. And half of them I can't even pronounce the names of...Also, this one is like encyclopedia and my brains combusted from all the information"
"Oh, that's her alright.... Or when she says something so fast and just walks away, and you're left there wondering...did I get that right?"
"And that...Mind you...you've been tiered yesterday" she looked at Clara lovingly "She's been up all night with me on Friday."
"She was ill when we came...passed out on me in a toilet"
"OMG sweetie...but you seem better now?" Jack asked exchanging worried looks with Clara for a moment
"I am... thank god for that...I would hate to ruin this holiday"
They sat down and ordered food. Yaz took an instant liking to Jack. He was brash, but he seemed extremely warm and kind. She also noticed that out of all the people she had met so far, he was the most open to Clara and kept messing with her. She saw another side of Clara that she had never seen before.
"Excuse me...I just need to go to..." Yaz pointed
"Yeah, sure Yaz go ahead darling" Clara said
"She's so different" Jack said as Yaz left the table
"She is and she isn't...I can't decide. She's like a little scared rabbit and it pains me, Jack. I just wanna put her in my pocket and keep her safe"
"We're gonna fix it...you'll see. Most important is that she's here and that you're here...By the way, here you go" he slides a USB stick across the table "It's all there...I hope it helps...but we are still digging...we're not done"
"Tell me quickly Jack" she looked over his shoulder making sure Yaz is still inside and leaned over the table
"There was a woman.... several years ago...same MRI scans like Yaz...no memory of who she was or where she's been. It was like she was literally dumped on a side of the road. The research was inconclusive, but all the information is there...it might help to compare"
"What happened to the woman?"
"She was killed...we were too late. You have her full file on it.... everything we know about her"
"Who killed her Jack?"
"Organization called Black Phenix...I gave you all the info about them as well...the little we know"
"I really appreciate this Jack"
"You know I'll do anything for you" he tapes her hand that was laying on a table
"I know...So anything new since we last spoke?"
"Neah...same old stuff. We stumbled on someone making drugs out of alien plants...they had a whole greenhouse filled with it. People tripping all over the place in clubs. So, when we got there, I got spat on by this disgusting plant we found...it gave me rash for a week"
"Oh Jack...it's Nannanoo...highly toxic when agitated...But if you sing to it totally harmless...I've got something for that you should've called"
"Of course, you do.... Why am not surprised" he laughed
"Hey, you two...sorry...my god it's like half of fucking world went to the same toilet" Yaz winged
"I wondered where you were. I was gonna look for you in a minute" Clara brushed her finger over her cheek
"Jack...tell me about Torchwood?" Yaz asked glancing cheeky over to Clara who just shook her head and rolled her eyes
"Don't mind me here Yaz...go ahead" she leans back into a chair
Jack looks at Clara for a second smirking then goes back to Yaz "We mostly remove all alien technology that can be misused. There's a lot of it going around...you'd be surprised what's out there. And catch some bad guys from all over universe who happen to come here. You should come and visit Yaz"
"I'd love to...And how come you no longer travel with Clara?"
"She dumped me" he laughed
"Oi...I did no such thing" she jumped like someone stick a hot poker at her
"Are we going over that again?"
"I had no choice Yaz...you're a fixed point in time" she says defensively "...besides I also didn't trust you then"
"What's a fixed point in time?" Yaz frowned trying to follow the conversation
"Right...so you dumped me" Jack turns to Yaz "See she didn't trust me, and I felt...yucky"
"You did not feel yucky...just weird...there's a difference...it was giving me a head wonk and not in a nice way. He can't die Yaz" Clara finally answers her question
"He fucking what?"
"Yap...I can't Yaz...ever" he smiles
"Fuck!...And I thought I was marring a physics professor...but hay X-files is just fine"
"You are marring a physics professor Yaz" Clara said
"More like a Kinder Egg surprise iff you ask me...Why can't you die?"
"Long story Yaz....no time now" Clara scrunched her face
"Her ex-girlfriend brought me back to life in a wrong way"
"I'm fucking regretting I even asked now" Yaz shook her head
"Oi! ...She wasn't my girlfriend" Clara points a finger at him
"Alright then.... a close friend you fancied then" Jack smugs
"So where is this not girlfriend now?" Yaz was trying to make sense out of mess half regretting she even asked the question but half really happy she did
"Long story Yaz" Clara says
"I bet it is" Yaz raised her eyebrow
"Ej...what do you mean?" Clara jumped
"She got stuck in another dimension" Jack says to Yaz
"She fucking whaaaaa???"
"I did do the best that I could to resolve it though" Clara shrugs
"Bloody hell...Do you two always talk to each other in this way?"
"Absolutely Yaz" Clara said
"Iff she ever become polite I'd think she stopped loving me" Jack winks
"Well, I definitely understand why you two don't travel together" Yaz said whilst still trying to process the chaotic conversation
"Aaaa...here's the food" Clara smiled
....
They said their goodbye to Jack then Clara took Yaz to see Castel Sant'Angelo. After walking around for an hour and taking tons of silly photos, they stopped on one of the highest levels of the castle by a stone wall overlooking Rome. A light breeze and the spring sun hit their faces...
"Look at that Yaz...like having a whole Rome in a palm of your hand" Clara said looking at the horizon
Yaz released they were completely alone and came up behind her leaning her head on her shoulder "Thank you for this trip...it's been amazing"
Clara looked at her sideways smiling "I told you we will have a nice time" she kissed her shortly "Iff I can't show you the stars I can at least show you the whole Earth" she brushed her nose on her cheek
"It will take you years" Yaz smiled squeezing her arms around her chest
"I'm counting on it" she smiled "There's one more place I want to take you before we go home"
"Alright love"
....
"Are you fuckin braking into coliseum?" Yaz asked shocked as Clara took her sonic out and opened one of the small doors at the back of the massive structure
"Nooo...we are just letting ourselves in" she smirked and opened the door "After you lovely " she looked around and closed the door behind them
It was already dark, and no one was there. Only lights that illuminate an impressive space. Clara took her hand, and they stood in the middle looking up and around
"My god...how terrifying must have been to stand here not knowing if you will live or die" Yaz said sadly
"It was...and you never knew what will come through those doors either" Clara pointed "I always hated killing for sports...Well I hate killing all together...but I still admire the architecture of the stone masons and mathematicians. It is a shame their talents we used for cruelty" she took her hand "Come let's go up"
They climbed to the highest level and sat down on stone slabs. Yaz made herself comfortable, resting her head on Clara's lap and watching the stars in the sky. It was quiet and the stones were still warm from the sun. She was tired and her eyes slowly closed as Clara told her stories about lost times. Her fingers gently caress her forehead and lull Yaz to sleep.
"You're falling asleep love" Clara smiled and tapped her nose
"Mmmm....I am... it's so nice"
"It is...it's so still" she looked up in the sky "Come on...let's go darling. We are leaving really early, and I don't want you being ill again"
"Alright love"
....
Yaz fell asleep waiting for Clara to come out of the bathroom. She lay in bed going through all the photos on her phone and posting some of them on her Instagram until she fell asleep with the phone in her hand. Clara came out of the bathroom and slowly took her phone. She saw the photo of the two of them by the fountain and all the hearts that Yaz had edited on it with the caption "My Favorite Person" which made her hearts skip a beat. She placed it on the side table and snuggled up to Yaz who was fast asleep on her back like a pancake. She was so out of it that she didn't make a sound when Clara wrapped herself around her like a koala and buried her face in her neck.
"I love you so much Yasmin Khan"
"Mmmm," Yaz mumbled and crossed her arms over her back
It was one of the rare nights when Clara fell asleep calm and happy. Her hearts were filled with so much love. She wondered if that love was slowly eating away at her pain and healing her from the inside. Because it finally started to feel that way.
Chapter 23
It was early Thursday morning and instead of work Clara was meeting Nadjia. Her wedding garment was ready, and they went together to try it on one last time before the wedding. She was excited but also extremely anxious and going with Nadjia was a huge help. Her feelings for Najia grew over time and now she truly considered Yaza's family as her own, mostly because they accepted her in such a warm way. She also never knew what it was like to have a mother, and this was the closest she would ever get to that. She was also painfully aware that all those people she loved so much would eventually leave her life and one day she would be alone again, a thought she didn't really want to have in her head. But her brain never asked for permission, so she pushed it away like so many other things and as she drove, she tried to concentrate on how in a very short time she would actually take the woman she loved more than anything in this world as her wife and that was the most important thing. She turned the car in front of the building and saw that Najia was already waiting for her, so she beeped and waved cheerfully.
"Hey hun" Najia said as she sat next to her then leaned over and kissed her cheek "Oh bless...you look nervous darling" she stroke her cheek
"I am... I really don't know why" she said as she pulled back into the road "I have a hole in my stomach...it's really weird...cause I know everything is there and there's no hole there"
Nadja started laughing at her silly explanation. Same as everyone else by now, she too got used to Clara's silly talk and she found it quite cute.
"It's ok...it's normal...I'm gonna tell you a secret"
Clara turned for a second and smiled
"When I was marring Hakim and I had to go and try out my wedding dress I threw up just before we came to the store...I never told anyone"
"Really? Well, that made me feel better.... hope I don't get sick Nadjia...cause that would be really embarrassing...Oh oh...Yaz loved those bangles...thank you for that"
"Why are you thanking me for treating my daughter like a queen?" she laughed
"I love treating her like a queen...she is my queen" she smiled at Najia
"I think you're hers as well darling" she smiled "Turn left here and then right and I think you can park there. It's early we should find space"
"Alright"
They parked the car just around the corner from the store and each step Clara took she started feeling more and more nervous. And as iff Nadija felt it, she hooked her arm underneath hers and looked at her softly "It's going to be perfect you'll see"
"Hello" Clara said happily as they walked in, and the lady smiled to her
"Hello madam.... oh, you will love it...absolutely love it" she went at the back and brought the blue garment. It was wrapped up in nylon and even though it, it looked gorgeous. As the lady laid it on the counter and removed the cover Clara ran her hand over the embroidery of the Gallifreyan she had custom ordered to be added at the very bottom. She felt losing her breath and it was Nadjia's hand stroking her back that jolted her into reality
"It's stunning Clara" she said gently "Wanna try it on?"
Clara just nodded her emotions were taking over her so much she felt if she opened her mouth only a whimper would come out. But Najia grabbed the garment of the counter and then pulled her towards the changing room
"Come hun...let's see you in it.... Isn't this existing?"
Clara again just nodded as she went into the changing room. She stood inside looking at herself in a mirror, white trousers and royal blue shalwar kameez embroidered with gold. She felt her hearts jumping inside her chest.
"Can I have a look?" Najia asked and when Clara came out her bottom lip was going, she couldn't keep it steady anymore no matter how much she tried "Goodness....you look stunning...absolutely stunning"
Tears rolled down Clara's cheek and she smiled nodding "It's brilliant, isn't it?"
"Oh darling" Najia pulled her in "I hope those are happy tears because you look absolutely gorgeous"
"Mmmm" Clara mumbled and buried her face in her shoulder. She couldn't stop crying and felt embarrassed. Her cheeks flushed and tips of her ears went red
"It's ok to cry hun...I'd be worried iff you didn't" she looked at her crying herself
"I can't wait" Clara said
"Me neither..." she smiled and wiped her tear "Let me call her...she's burning up"
"Oh, but don't tell her what it looks like" Clara said
"No, I won't"
"Mum...teeeeelll meeeee!" Yaz said exited on the other end
"Oh, Yaz you both look like a dream darling"
"Is she happy? Is she?"
"She's crying...it's good I came with her" Nadjia smiles at Clara as she's talking to Yaz
"OMG my poor love...pass her on...love you mum thank you for this you're the best"
"Hey love...I proper embarrassed myself here for the rest of my regeneration...I look a right dork in front of you mum"
Yaz giggled on the other end "No you don't silly...I hear you look like a dream" she smiled
"Mmmmm...I'm sure you look much prettier Yaz"
"Stop that silly...I love you so much...God I would give anything to see you now"
"Now you know how I felt" she laughed
"I know it's brutal isn't it...but it's gonna be worth it.... I adore you"
"I adore you too...I need to go now and take your mum for lunch she well-earned one"
"Alright baby.... have a nice time. See you at home"
Clara ended up taking Najia out for a nice meal at a restaurant Najia had chosen. It was one of those that the locals well knew for its excellent food. She smiled watching Clara clean the plate.
"You liked that I don't you?" she giggled
"Oh, that was amazing.... I have to remember this place" she smiled and took a sip of juice
"I wanted to talk to you about something Clara"
"It sounds very serious"
"It is yes...I spoke to Hakim, and I don't know how to say this without offending you, but since you have no family, we both feel that we should step in as one"
"You're gonna make me soppy again Najia" she smiled
"Listen Clara...we don't have much and it's not a lot, but we decided we will give you two a honeymoon trip"
Clara almost spat her drink "You whaaa? Noo Najia absolutely not...."
"Aaaaa...shut up Clara..."
"Woow" Clara did, she was literally left speechless rasing her eyebrows shocked.
"Good... let me speak"
"Alright"...
"That's what parents are for you know. It's a custom Clara. And you have no parents. Well, you have us now so...There you go, it's something that we feel it's our duty as parents to do, you take care of your children. It's what family is for"
Clara jumped and ran around the table hugging her so tightly Najia couldn't breathe "It's alright love...we know you can afford it.... We just want to make you happy that's all. And you're literally strangling me"
"Oh, sorry" she wiped her tear "I can't remember when was a last time I cried so much, this is so embarrassing"
"They are happy tears dear, it's nice.... Now...they have fantastic cakes here" she smirked "You can treat me with those"
"Yeah, I'm up for some sugar after all of this. My brains need rebooting" she laughed
After dropping Nadjia home Clara was feeling so overwhelmed that she decided to take a short detour to the local park on her way to pick up Yaz from work. She still had a little time and felt she had to work through her anxiety. She was not anxious about the wedding, but because of the number of secrets she still carried with her, which were suffocating her by this point. She couldn't escape the sickening notion that one day when it all comes out, she will be left alone. That everything she is building now will crush around her like a deck of cards. She felt like she was betraying those who loved her and how she wasn't worthy of their love. She sat on a bench and picked up her phone
"Hi Graham"
"Doc? Is everything ok?"
"No... it's not"
"What's wrong Doc? You sound upset? Is Yaz ok?"
"She's fine...Graham I... you know you said about the family? Why do you care" she swallowed hard "About me?"
"Oh Doc..." he sighed deeply "I can only speak for myself...but it was all the free holidays...and a food wasn't bad either. Free accommodation always a plus as well...all-inclusive package"
Clara chuckled through tears "Thanks mate"
"Doc... Ever since I've met you it was about who you need to save starting with that poor sod on a train. That's all you ever think about...you never actually stop and think about yourself...It counts for something"
Clara whimpered into a phone, tears running down her face.
"Stop feeling guilty about being loved Doc...But that's not why you're asking is it...Regarding that...She isn't going anywhere Iff that's what you're afraid of"
"I'm so scared Grham"
"Don't be...That girl will never leave you unless you asked her to. It will all sit in It's place. I also think it's the wedding, it gets like this Doc. I haven't slept for month before mine"
"Really?"
"Yeah...makes you all of a sudden think what's so special about me that this wonderful person chose me out of all the people. Then you start questioning are you worthie of them...been there Doc, believe me"
Clara sighed and wiped her face with a little smile escaping her lips "Thank you for speaking to me Graham"
"Always Doc... I'm glad you called me"
"I need to go and pick her up from work now...have a nice day Graham"
"You too Doc... see you soon"
She hangs up and looked sideways to her left. There was a squirrel on the ground next to her and it made her smile. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a bag nuts and seeds, one of those healthy food's choice from Sainsbury that Yaz keeps eating and then she just shoves half open bag into her pocket to join all the other stuff she had in there. Not a minute later the little animal was eating out of her hand.
"You're cute...I got your mates in my garden...You may know each other...Or maybe not...Oh...you may be related it's only down the road...I'm gonna leave this here for you cause I need to go now and pick up my wife"
She left the food on the bench and started heading towards the car.
She felt better after talking to Graham, and what was even more important at this point was that she was starting to get a real sense of what family really meant and the support system it provided, something she had so chronically lacked in her life. Even though she knew that in her long life all of this is only a moment in time, it was her moment that she wanted to grab with both hands while it was there for her to have. But still, being loved was something she would have to get used to, and she hoped that eventually she would.
Yaz was finished with her work and was standing on a parking in front the store waiting for Clara. She had a trolley filed with groceries and she was worried frozen stuff won't last for much longer. She was late, which was very unusual for her and just when Yaz wanted to make a call she saw the car.
"Sorry...sorry...my stupid phone died I couldn't call you darling" Clara said as soon as she pulled over running around the car to put all the shopping in the booth.
"It's alright babe...I knew you will come" she smiled and leaned over the trolley for a kiss "Mmmm...I've missed that all day" she smiled into her lips
"Oh, you and me both Yaz to a point I really don't care if anyone saw that kiss" she laughed "I really hate when you're not near me" she pouted her lips like a kid putting bags in the back then flashed her a big smile "Buuut I got you some really yummy cakes" she nodded towards the back seat as she shut the booth
"Nooo...Oh god just when I thought I can't love you anymore"
Yaz leaned over the seats to grap the bag as soon as they sat in the car, carefully opening it to peek inside "Ohhhhh gooood and the best once as well...god I love you"
Clara smiled and swirled the car around the corner to get onto a main road.
"So, how did your mum day go?" she smiled and brushed her knuckles over Clara's cheek
"Oh Yaz...your parents are making me into a soppy mess"
"What...why? What happened?"
"They want to pay for the honeymoon Yaz"
"I know" she smiled cheeky
"Wait...what?" Clara turned around "Did you just say you knew Yasmin?"
"Yeah" she giggled "Mum told me on phone it's what they want, and I said you will never have it...then she said quat - We'll see about that- " she giggles "And I said I'm not getting into that with you and she's gonna have to talk to you about it"
"You little cheeky bugger" she grabbed her chin squeezing it then laughed shaking her head looking back onto the road "She really made me emotional Yaz, it was so embarrassing. She started talking about me not having parents and how it's a parent's duty" she shakes her head then quickly wipes another tear escaping from her eye involuntary
"Hey baby" Yaz strokes her face gently "It's alright darling"
Clara takes her hand and kissing her knuckles "It's just I never thought those things Yaz...parents...never was in a back of mind really. I just accepted things the way they were"
"I know you were...but you don't have to anymore" she smiled, and Clara turned towards her shortly giving a small smile and tapped her nose
"I know lovely...I get everything with you don't I... the whole package" she pursed her lips holding back the tears
"I got us cinema tickets for Saturday" Yaz smiled
"Really? ...Oh, I haven't been to cinema for a long time Yaz"
"Yeah, I thought it be fun for a change...Sonya asked if she could go...I couldn't say no I hope you don't mind?"
"Mind Yaz? Why would I mind? It be fun" she strokes her leg gently "I love you Yasmin"
"I love you too darling so fucking much"
Yaz laced her fingers with hers. She could see Clara was seriously struggling and it made her heart bleed thinking how people take for granted things Clara never had in her life. She was wondering how many years she spent alone picking up people to travel with her and how much of it was really job and necessity and how much just desperate need for closeness. She also wondered what would happen to Clara one day when she was alone again, although the thought had never crossed her mind before, and now when it did, she felt a cramp in her stomach and brought her hand up to caress the back of Clara's neck all the way home not knowing if this move comforted Clara more or her, but feeling her under her fingers definitely helped
It was evening and Yaz was in a kitchen preparing food. Clara told she's got work to do for university but what she was really doing is reading through the files Jack gave her. It made her sick to the stomach going through them, but she was putting some pieces of the puzzle together and on the other hand she now had even more questions. There was method to the madness, but she couldn't figure out what it was, and it was driving her nuts.
"Vertigo, nausea, epilepsy.... Experiencing long term memory loss...but you didn't remember anything...aaaaarrrhhh" she threw a pen on a desk rubbed her temples "Maybe if I... Would that work...possibly...never done this before"
"Are you taking to yourselves?" Yaz peaked from the door of her study
Clara locked her screen quickly and smiled "Maybe" she reached her hand "C'mere" she pulled Yaz into her lap and wrapped her arms around her tight "Sorry just stressed a bit"
"What's stressing you out babe?"
"Just this case I'm working on with Kate...don't worry about it" she sighed into Yaz's neck "Dinner done?"
"Soon...I just came for a cuddle" she giggles
"I needed a cuddle" Clara said rubbing her face into her shoulder
"Hey...why don't you stop for today? ...It's late and you've been in here for three hours darling. I think your brain might be melting a bit"
"I suppose you right"
"Come on...and no sneaking out of bed either missy" Yaz raised her eyebrow
Clara looked at her guilty "I didn't think you noticed"
"I did notice...you've been doing it every night since we came back from the trip" she squished her face between her palms "It's becoming obsession that case...and you've been only having about three hours of sleep every night"
"I'm so sorry"
"You don't need to say sorry...you need to sleep darling. I'm worried about you"
"I know...alright I promise"
"You better keep your promise..." she smiled kissing her gently and nuzzled her nose over her cheek "Help me with food?"
"Absolutely..."
Chapter 24
It was a rainy Friday morning, dark and depressing. Yaz was dragging her feet around the bedroom still sleepy. She hated mornings like this one, they made her feel more tired than she really was. Clara stood by the window clipping her braces on watching as the wind was sweeping through the garden and rain was getting stronger.
"Yaz"
"Mmm?" she peaked from the bathroom brushing her teeth
"Darling, this weather doesn't look good. I don't want you driving in this rain. I'll take you to work today and pick you up"
"Alright love" she wiped her face in a towel and started quickly getting dressed
Clara wrapped her arms around her and kissed the side of neck as she stood in front of chest of drawers.
"Oh god.... don't do that to me" she leaned on her chest in a rocking motion "I don't wanna go anywhere now"
"Me neither believe me" she rubbed her nose over her cheek "But it's Friday....and I'll have you all weekend and Monday is Bank Holiday"
"Oh yeah...so it is...fuck I forgot about that" Yaz smiled happily
"Come on lovely, let's have some breakfast. We need to leave soon"
Yaz was sitting in her usual spot in the kitchen looking out as she waited for the kettle to boil. The blue box was now right next to the conservatory. It was literally stuck to the side which made Yaz laugh as Clara didn't want to part with her blue box even to put it on the other side of the garden. But at the same time, Yaz loved it because she got so used to looking at it each morning that she missed it when it was at the bottom of the garden while working on their conservatory was going on. The rain was getting stronger outside, and the wind was ripping through the garden
"Horrible weather" Clara kissed the top of her head making her jump
"Blimey you made me jump...didn't hear you from the rain...Crumpets?" she lifted it up and Clara took a bite all the way to her fingers
"You're gonna eat my hand silly" Yaz giggled
"You make the best crumpets ever Yaz"
"It's just jam and butter" she frowned confused
Clara quickly had her breakfast without even sitting down and sipping the tea whilst putting paperwork in her bag "Come on my little sloth" she wraps fingers around her face and kisses her gently "We need to go"
"God...don't kiss me like that before work"
Clara winked cheeky and tapped her nose
It was raining so much Clara could bearley see through the car window. She really missed her Tardis on days like this, but she was glad Yaz wasn't driving in this weather. Not because she doubted Yaz's driving skills, more because she was concerned about others on the road.
"OMG, maybe we should pull over" Yaz looked through the window worried
"It's fine darling...don't worry...we're there in 2 minutes amd 69 seconds" she turned and smiled a little
"Just please call me when you get to work, I do get worried"
"About what...me coming home in a new body?" Clara laughed
"Oi....stop that" she smacked her shoulder "Don't you dare...just trying to think how I would explain that one to my family"
Clara laughed and turned the car into the parking lot. Heavy rain poured down the car windows, she turned towards her as soon as she parked in the driveway "I hate this, you know" she sighed and ran a finger across her face, then pulled her and brushed her lips against hers.
"If you don't leave this car soon, i'm kidnapping you for today" she kissed her so deeply Yaz felt a tingle down her spine and her stomach jumped in the most delightful way.
"Your doing this on purpose" Yaz giggled into her lips and quickly grabbed the door handle "Love ya" she slipped out of the car and closed the door
"Morning" a friend from work said cheerfully
"Hey Anna...Morning"
"That's your fiance?"
"Yeah" Yaz said proudly
"She's my brother's professor you know"
"My Clara? .... No way... get out of here"
"Oh yeah girl I recognize that car...she's got that police telephone box hanging of her rearview mirror"
"Oh yeah" Yaz giggled "she has a thing about it" she rolls her eyes
"Jamie said she's a right nutter...In a good way I mean"
"She is...just a big kid" she said lovingly as they were walking inside
"That's what he said that she just makes everyone laugh and she's one big ball of sunshine"
"Awwwww you're making me feel so proud now Annie"
"You should be, smart, pretty and fun...what more can a girl ask for...And your wedding is soon, right Yaz?"
"Oh yeah 25th of June...so yeah...aaaaaarrrrhhh really fucking soon"
"I'm happy for you"
"Thank you"
"Alright...I need to go now...take care" she said and went to change
"Excuse me...Yasmin Khan?" a woman standing at the till turned around
"Yes madam...Can I help you?"
"Don't you remember me?"
Yaz frowned confused "No... I'm so sorry but I don't"
"The hospital a month ago...I was your doctor?"
Yaz looked at her now even more confused. She remembered Martha but not this lady, her face or her voice. It was completely unfamiliar to her. But then again, she was so bad at the hospital she may have just forgotten pumped up with all the medication.
"Yaz" her superior called
"Hi" Yaz turned towards her "Yes, yes coming...sorry" she turned back to the older lady "I'm so sorry...I'm late for work..."
"No problem.... here's my number...please call me" she passed her a card "You should have another checkup you know"
"Oh" she looked at the card confused "Alright...thanks"
"Yaz walked away and shoved the card into her pocket forgetting about it for the rest of her day
....
Clara came home early and had some alone time before she had to pick up Yaz from work. She threw the car keys on the kitchen counter and went into the garden straight to the Tardis.
"Hey beautiful...so sorry...I'm really trying to find time" she said as the lights came up "I know...I know. Patience...soon...For now, please tell me you have some good news for me" she looked at the monitor then "Woooow..." she jumped "Alright...now that's...Blimey..."
Tardis hummed and turned lights to pink "Oh stars please make it work" she almost jumped exited "What would I do without you....I really love you"
She picked up the phone "Jack"
"Hey beautiful"
"Can you meet me?"
"When and where?"
"Now...my house" she scrunched her face
"Sure...it was about time you invited me"
"Aaa brilliant...Sending you my address" she hangs up
The Tardis hummed again. Clara sighed with relief, a glimmer of hope that she could at least start somewhere, all because of her beautiful Tardis, her ghost monument that giving her a chance to straighten out at least part of the whole mess. She knows she can't fix it, not quite like before, but right now she's so desperate that she's willing to put up with anything just to not lose her. She takes her own blood, one more sample one more run, just to check and she pulls it through the analysis. It will take another 24 hours of painfully waiting for results but it's worth it.
"There...just one more time" she said hopefully, and Tardis hummed in response then she saw Jack standing in front of the house door and she frowned confused then ran out and through the house to open up.
"Since when do you ring a doorbell, Jack?" she scrunched her face
"I thought it would be cool now when you have a house...you should have a doorbell on Tardis"
"Why? ...Then I have to open up...this way I can just pretend I'm not home" she lets him in
"Waaaw...you really do have a house..." he looked around S
"Nice ha?" she had a happy proud grin on her face the whole time
"Very nice...Your decor is a bit old farty but that's just you"
"Oi...Don't offend my house...It's all very valuable you know"
He walked to the kitchen and started laughing when he saw Tardis in a garden "That's where you parked her?"
"Yap"
"And Yaz thinks this is..."
"Garden shed" she smiled "Tea?"
"Yes please" he shakes his head laughing "Love is truly blind"
"Shut up Jack" she said passing him a mug
"So... tell me" he asked exited and sat on the edge of the chair
"Oh, Jack I'm so chuffed.... So you know DNA I was telling you about and temporal genes and all that?"
"Yeah...the sex gene"
She frowned discussed and shook her head "Anyways...so those genes were hidden...cloaked...unactive so they couldn't be seen. This is why all my tests came back inconclusive when I got Yaz back a year ago...it's I could never figure it out. But then this thing happened when she ended up in a hospital and suddenly, they just light up...for some reason Jack they got activated...But I still didn't understand what they were...what was their purpose...what is it that they were trying to do until you gave me that file"
"So, the file helped?"
"Oh Jack...it made me think...I was so stressed I needed my brains to reboot. And when I read the file, it suddenly dawned on me.... Regeneration Jack!" she was practically hopping around the kitchen exited
"Whaaaa?"
"Regeneration Jack...they were trying to replicate what Tecteun did thousands of years ago using my DNA, but it backfired....Instead of regenerating people started ageing rapidly.... like Yaz...I finally have the answer Jack...well I hope I do"
"...So, what does all this mean? Is she like you? Is the damage repairing itself? What's going on?"
"I dunno yet...I'm not sure, but It looks like it. Like her body was rejecting it until it started accepting it..." she slumped her shoulders "I have to do more tests...a lot more tests I need to be sure Jack"
"But It does all make perfect sense now...her scans the repair that it's showing...accept why memory loss?"
"I'm not sure yet...and why just the part that is related to me...she's remembering the rest of her life. Your Jane Doe it was all of it, she had no clue even what her name was...So many questions but I'm hopeful...I can work with this...Iff this it is what I think it is....if she is getting better Jack...It's very slow and very miniscule but I will find a way to amplify it...speed it up...reverse it...something, anything" her eyes filled with tears, and she vividly started shaking
Jack reached around her neck pulling her in "Hey...It's good right? ...This is good news"
"I gave up all hope Jack....I had none left"
"I know you have" he stroke her hair gently pressing her to his chest. He could feel her hearts beating so fast they were pounding through his jacket
"I just thought I come here, be with her until the end. Whatever time she had...five, ten years I be with her" she crumbled crying "How do you tell someone they're dying Jack? How do you tell someone their body will shut down and there's nothing you can do about it...It's all my fault Jack"
"No, it's not your fault" he grabbed her face with both hands "This isn't your fault...stop blaming yourself. You got her out...you got them. It took you 57 years, but you got them in the end...so they can't do this to anyone else"
"It's fine...right Jack? I'll figure it out right?"
"Yes, you will...I never doubted you...It was you who did that"
She wiped her tears trying to pull herself together "I'm sorry...I don't know what's wrong with me"
"Nothing is wrong with you...I like this new you...Can you stay like this please?" he smiled
"Piss off Jack" she smiled sniffling
"What about her memories? Do you think they might come back?"
"Probably not...that bit is fried...but I don't care about that ...I'll tell her...I'll tell her everything in time" she was crying without realizing she was. One tear following the other running down her cheeks "I just want this so much"
"And you will have it...You will...start believing" he brushed his thumb over her face wiping her tears "Come on...show me the rest of the house...I still can't get over you have a house...and admit it...Tardis is doing all the laundry in secret, right?"
"She smiled cheeky"
"I knew it" he laughed
....
Yas was standing by the kitchen counter preparing the salad for dinner. She was so happy it was Friday. Rain was persistent throughout the whole day and as it came towards the evening, it was getting heavier accompanied by the strong wind. She watched as the branches of the tree were pulled harshly and she felt sorry for their little tree and worried the horrible weather will damage Clara's bird house or God forbid her blue box.
"Where did you drift off" Clara craned over her and kissed her shoulder
"Just worried about that weather might damage that poor tree or your blue box"
Clara smiled and rubbed her nose on her cheek "You're worried about my box Yaz?"
"I am yes...besides It's your favorite thing in a world"
Clara slipped her arm around her laying it on her stomach "I have two favorite things in the universe Yaz"
"Oh...I'm in a competition with a box" she giggled
"Never Yaz" she said almost offensive "I do have two hearts you know"
Yaz giggled and leaned on her "So I have a third person in our marriage?"
"She's nice person Yaz" Clara rocked her side to side gently doting small kisses on her cheek
Yaz giggled to her silly talk "Conservatory or living room?"
"Bedroom?" Clara giggled into her neck kissing her
"I meant dinner silly" she passed her a salad bowl "Bedroom definitely but I have to eat I'm starving"
Clara pouted her lips "I've never been turned down by you before"
"And you're not now" Yaz brushed finger playfully over her bottom lip laughing "but I really have to eat"
"I can be quick" she continued complaining taking plates with food into the living room
"Who are you kidding" Yaz turned over her shoulder giggling "I'll make it up to you"
"You better ...cause now I feel neglected"
"What a drama queen" she laughed and shoved a piece of chicken in in her mouth "See it's nice"
"Mmmmm...it is"
"Look at it this way...you'll have more energy" she winked at her
"Mmmm...I suppose so" she said sitting on a floor and arranging plates on the coffee table
"This is so silly...we have kitchen and a beautiful new dining room table, and we are again on the floor" Yaz laughed passing her cutlery
"I like it"
"Me too...it's cozy and it's our thing but it's still silly"
"It reminds me of our evenings before you moved in. I so desperately wanted you to stay"
Clara said softly
"I so desperately wanted to stay" she smiled "I wanted to stay next to you since the moment I met you"
"And you have Yaz" she gave her a big smile "Mmmmm...talking about us...we need to go and sort out the rings. Your mum called me today"
"Why is my mum not calling me for fuck's sake"
"Jealous much potty mouth?" she raises her eyebrow cheeky
"Nooo never at you...just saying...she should be calling both of us. And yes, definitely rings...when? Tomorrow?" She flashed her a cheeky smile and flipped her lashes
"Iff, you want yes...definitely"
"Alright then...Tomorrow is our ring day" she reached across the table shoving olive into Clara's mouth. She would randomly give her all the food from her plate she didn't like to eat, and olives were one of those "Oh...forgot to tell you what happened to me at work today...really weird"
"What Yaz?"
"Wait...just give me a second" she got up and ran to the hallway Clara's eyes following her intriguing. "Look" she gave her a card
Clara looked at the card confused "Who's that?"
"No clue...she said she was my doctor at the hospital, and I have no clue who she is babe. I don't remember her...I only remember your friend Martha"
Clara looked at her worried "Why would she give you, her card?"
"She said I should call her for a checkup.... that's just weird babe...why isn't the hospital calling me? That's not a standard procedure...who the hell is this?"
"You didn't call her did you Yaz?"
"Nooo...of course not...I was a police officer...I know when something isn't right....and that thing isn't right"
"No, it isn't" Clara took her sonic put and scanned it
"Why are you scanning it?"
"Just checking Yaz that's all"
"For what?"
"Stuff that shouldn't be there.... it's fine Yaz...it's good you told me"
"I can call into my station ask them to check"
"I'll have Kate do that darling. Don't worry yourself alright?"
"Right...ok"
Clara took the card and put it in her pocket then neither of them two mentioned it again.
A thunder ripped through the sky so loud it made them both jump.
"Fuck...I almost dropped the tray" Yaz shook her head relieved placing it on the kitchen top "I'm not going to sleep much tonight"
Yaz hated the thunder, not just because it would make her jump but also because it would always give her nightmares. Clara glued herself to her back kissing the side of her neck making her giggle.
"Came for a desert?"
"Mmmm" she mumbled into her skin slipping hands underneath her top that was loosely dropping over her tracksuit bottoms. She never wore a bra around the house, so Clara's hands were already working overtime making her dizzy draping herself on her chest
"Fuck the dishes" she said losing herself underneath her lips trailing over her shoulders and her neck and her hands cupping her breast "Bedroom" she said and turned around taking her lips into hers and started pulling her top out of her trousers and slipped her hands underneath the waistband of her loose cotton trousers grabbing her bum playfully
"Mmmm" Clara moaned into her lips making Yaz giggle.
"My bum" she smiled kissing her
"C'mere" Clara grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the bedroom pushing her up the stars giggling and pulling her tracksuit bottoms down as she walked up.
"Someone's impatient" Yaz laughed and stepped out of them then grabbed her nickers as Clara tried pulling them down as well
"You made me wait so that's what you get...Aaa see it even rimes" she glued herself to her back as they walked upstairs kissing her neck and fighting her hands to get her underwear down
"This is sexual abuse" she laughed holding her nickers so she can't pull them down as well. Clara grabbed her arm turning her around as they stepped into the bedroom and wrapped her fighters around her face taking her lips slowly deepening the kiss reducing Yaz into a putty. She lifted Clara's top and pulled it over her head, then threw hers on the floor. Clara stood for a split-second gazing into her deep brown eyes and ran her thumb over her cheek. She had never felt happier in years taking in her eyes and the scent of her skin, the feel of her soft lips. All she wanted was to sink into her so deeply that she forgot where she stopped and Yaz began.
"What's wrong baby" Yaz tucked her hair behind her ear. She smiled a little "Why look so sad suddenly?"
"I'm not sad lovely" she traced her fingers down Yaz's arm and laced their fingers together bringing her knuckles to her lips and kissed them gently "I really love you Yasmin"
"Blimey girl...you really know how to say that don't you" Yaz sighed deeply swallowing marbles and Clara smiled at her "I love you too...so fucking much" she pressed her lips gently to hers.
Chapter 25
Yaz was awakened by thunder. She wasn't even sure what time it was when she fell asleep in Clara's arms, but she was pretty sure she fell asleep in the middle of cuddling and talking. She did it too often to her own embarrassment, but Clara didn't mind and never got mad at her. She was cold, and Clara, who was wrapped around her like a koala, seemed as cold as ice. But Yaz realized that their duvet had fallen to the floor at some point and now they were both naked and freezing. She tried to move a bit to reach it and soon gave up on the idea and then began to unwrap her girlfriend from her just enough to reach out. But the more she squirmed, the tighter Clara's grip became, bringing her leg even higher over her hip and pressing her face into her neck. Yaz began to giggle at her cute gesture and her third attempt was met with a loud moan of displeasure in her neck which only made her chuckle
"Clara...darling" she said trying to get her attention "Baby...you're frozen solid I need to get the fucking duvet"
"Mmmmm....stay"
"I am staying...I'm not going anywhere just need to get the bloody duvet of the floor and your tangled around me I can't move"
"Mmmm" she moaned again and nuzzled her face into her skin
"Clara baby"
"Ha? Whaat...." suddenly Clara jumped like the house was on fire
"Fuck me babe...It's ok I just needed a duvet"
"Ha?...Oh" Clara sat on a bed hair all over the place and the most sleepy and disoriented face Yaz had ever seen and thought she looked absolutely the cutest.
"Darling it's fine..." she grabbed the duvet of the floor "see...I couldn't move and you're freezing and I'm freezing"
"Blimey...sorry Yaz...I don't know what's wrong with me" she rubbed her face
"It's ok...I think you're chronically sleep deprived babe...Oh, I need to pee" she jumped up and walked over to the bathroom
"I think you're right" Clara pulled a duvet over and wrapped it around herself then just toppled over back onto the mattress "Goodness, still raining" she looked through the window
"I know, it's horrid, thank god we don't work tomorrow" she wobbled back into bed
Clara spread the duvet and went back to her favorite place in Yaz's arms wrapping themselves around each other.
"I'm so cold" Clara said squeezing herself and pulled the duvet over their heads
"This is cozy" Yaz smiled rubbing their noses together "You look so cute sleepy"
"You need glasses" Clara giggled and tucked her face back into her neck "Mmmm....you so soft" she mumbled satisfied and trailed her hand down Yaz's lower back lazily
It lulled Yaz back to sleep even though she was struggling having her head underneath the duvet but Clara was frozen solid and she was slowly warming up.
…
The terrible weather continued all night until the next morning. Yaz woke up to a noise from the garden, not paying too much attention to it, she just lazily rolled over to the other side of the bed. The pillow still smelled of Clara and she buried her face in it. Waking up alone was a normal thing for her since nine times out of ten Clara would be up long before her. In fact, she never knew Clara to sleep past six o'clock any day unless she begged her to stay in bed just to cuddle. On the other hand, Yaz could happily sleep until eleven if she didn't have to go to work, and Clara kept calling her a sloth. Suddenly the noise from the garden became very loud and Yaz tried to ignore it as best she could until a light bulb went off in her brain about what that sound was.
"Chainsaw....fuck!!" she jumped out of bed and walked towards the window and saw Clara up on the ladder removing some broken branches from the trees "Clara I'm going to fucking kill you myself I swear" she muttered opening the window "Clara!!!!!" she shouted but apparently Clara didn't hear her. She didn't really know why she even thought Clara could hear her over the noise, but she had to try anyway.
"Clara....what the fuck!!!" Yaz ran into the garden wrapped in a sheet Clara was wearing goggles and was pretty high up on the ladder which Yaz was seriously anxious about
"Claraaaa fuck sake!" she yelled, finally getting her attention not so much with the sound as with her presents
"Hey you...morning" she raised her goggles on top of her head "Yaz blimey...why are you naked outside?"
"Clara… are you trying to fucking kill yourself?"
"What?...No Yaz, I'm cutting branches" she got off the ladder confused "Why would you say that? And why are you naked in the garden Yaz...please go inside"
"Whaaa? ....I'm not fucking naked....I've got that thing around me" she said almost hysterically tugging at the sheet "And stop the distraction...You almost cut your arm off once honey... please stop using that shit I'm begging you"
"Ooooh..." she glanced at the chainsaw "Sorry" she frowned "I'm so sorry... I didn't think you'd be so scared Yaz, it was just one off accident I promise... And you're naked Yaz under that sheet...please...come inside"
Clara drops the chainsaw to the ground to Yaz's absolute relief and wraps her arms around her waist trying to kiss her, but Yaz purses his lips in a pout. The thing seriously gave her goosebumps, and the thought of another accident made her stomach turn inside out.
"No kiss?...I said I was sorry," she said shakily
"Seriously Clara...I'm not kidding...this thing is going...I need your promise not your sorry...or I'll take the sheets off" he giggled
"Blimey Yaz...Okay...I promise I'll drop it, ok?....Can I get a kiss and get you inside?"
"You silly sod" Yaz laughed rolling her eyes "Of course you can" she brought her hands to the back of her head and Clara grabbed the sheet in panic just before Yaz kissed her
"Please now get your naked bum inside Yaz"
Yaz giggled walking back into the house with her "Seriously honey I'm not naked…you sound like my nanny"
"There is absolutely no reason for you to be like that in the garden Yaz" she literally shoved her inside looking around making sure none of the neighbors were outside
"But you just kissed me," she giggled
"You will be my wife Yaz and this is my garden that is different"
"Right," she giggled even more finding it absolutely cute how old fashioned she was.
Clara had unwritten rules about where she would kiss Yaz and where she wouldn't, and Yaz found it hilarious that the front of the house was off-limits, and so was the car, unless it was pouring rain and no one could see inside. There was absolutely no display of affection in front of her parents and Yaz wondered how she was going to kiss her at a wedding in front of her entire family but in all fairness that she herself didn't feel very comfortable with. Although Yaz seemed to be more worried about it than her family anyway because her mother was already talking about children.
"Hey...c'mere" Clara pulled her hand as they walked into the kitchen and put her arm around her waist "I'm sorry I scared you"
"Just don't do it again...I really hate that thing...it really gives me the creeps" she puts her hands on either side of Clara's neck "I really can't stand you being hurt"
"I know… I'm so sorry Yaz" She giggles at her goggles sitting on top of her head and pulls them over her eyes "These are so silly"
Clara scrunched up her face which made her laugh and kissed her silly, then deep and passionate, her hands trailing dirty marks on the light sheet down Yaz's back and across her backside. Yaz removed her goggles and tangled her fingers in her hair, hungrily capturing her lips in hers, soft sobs escaping her mouth. She pulled back the sheet with one hand and let it slide to the floor
"My hands are dirty," said Clara, pulling away
Yaz grabbed her cheeks "Then don't use them" she smiled cheekily and pulled the straps from her shoulders letting them fall down the edges of her blue trousers "I love the rainbow" she smiled pulling her t-shirt out of her trousers still kissing her
"Please let me wash my hands" Clara wined
Yaz rolles her eyes and giggles "Fine" she pulls her by the waistband of her towards to the kitchen tap clinging to her back as she washes her hands kissing her shoulder blades and lifting her shirt up pushing her hands underneath making Clara chuckle
"Look who's impatient now?" she smirked and released the blinds quickly letting them hit the kitchen top then turned around wrapping her hands around her face kissing her sufficiently enough to make her dizzy and her legs to tremble. After all these months of being together Yaz still felt she was melting underneath her touch being reduced to a jelly letting Clara do what ever she wanted with her. Completely surroundings herself to her with every cell in her body. She felt goosebumps on her skin and cold, still wet hands trailing down her breasts and over her waist. She unzipped Clara's trousers and they hit the floor which made her laugh as Clara fumbled her way out of her boots which were now tangled with her pants and threw them across the kitchen floor still trying to kiss her at the same time.
"Arms up" Yaz said pulling her shirt over her head and pressing her lips to her collarbone trailing over her shoulders and neck. Yaz groaned as cold fingers brushed her thighs and she was turned until her back hit the kitchen counter. She wrapped her arms around Clara's shoulders and kissed her careless and open mouth, then swung Clara's leg over her side and slid her hand over Clara's bum, pulling her against her, feeling her body crush her against the kitchen counter. Clara whimpered into her mouth as she slipped hand between them and into Clara's underwear. Another whimper caught her lips and her face frowned a little then head dropped to the crook of Yaz's neck. She reached around her grabbing the kitchen top. She was desperately trying to be cooperative but ker kisses down Yaz's neck became more sloppy then she nuzzled her face into Yaz's cheek rubbing her nose whispering almost incoherent words in Gallifreyan that Yaz knew now meant something on the lines of my love.
Clara was dizzy, so dizzy and her legs trebled. Her knuckles going white as she gripped the kitchen top and other arm wrapped around Yaz's shoulder and the back of her neck. She wanted to touch her, kiss her fell her underneath her her but her body wasn't listening to her mind. It shuddered. Eyes slammed shut heat hit her cheeks, a soundless moan leaving her half parted lips as she rolled herself over Yaz's hand one more time. She fell silent as Yaz pulled her hand away and held her tight against herself. Clara's face buried onto her neck brought her hand up and trailed it lazily over Yaz's breast and down her sides then lifted her face to meet her eyes with the happiest soft grin on her face.
"Hi there" Yaz smiled
"Hi yourself" she kissed her lazy
"Happy face" Yaz smiled and kissed her again wrapping fingers around her face and rubbing her thumb over her cheek
"C'mere" Clara smiled into her lips and took her hand leading her to the living room on the wobbling legs. She grabbed her around the waist and practically threw them both on the sofa climbing on top of her lazy smiling cheeky kissing her breast.
"You silly sod" Yaz giggled ruffling her hair
"More comfortable," she smiled pressing her lips to her breast, leaving Yaz gasping for air rolling her eyes in the back of her head, fingers tugging at Clara's hair and back arching following her lips.
Clara smiled and came back to claim her lips "Stars you're so gorgeous" she smiled.
"And you're stunning" she smiled wrapping legs around her cradling her between her thighs
"So, are you ready to get the rings today" Clara took her hand and laced their fingers
"Yap....are you?"
"Absolutely lovely can't wait to put it on that cute finger or yours either" she kisses her knuckles
"It's getting closer and closer" Yaz smiled playing with a little curl of Clara's hair right by her ear that looked absolutely adorable. She loved when her hair would randomly curl up from heat or damp.
They fell silent for a while. Clara resting on her chest enjoying in little rocking motion Yaz is doing and her fingers trailing down her back and over her shoulders, going everywhere and nowhere. Clara tracing lines with her fingers over Yaz's side then she lifted her face to meet her eyes.
In silence, she gazed at Clara's face, her beautiful autumn eyes and the little wrinkle on her forehead that she loved so much combining her fingers through her messy golden hair.
"Penny for your thoughts" Clara smiled
Yaz smiled and stroke her face "Just wondering sometimes how much have those eyes seen"
"Aaaaaa....are you now?" she kissed her palm "Too much" she scrunched her nose shortly "and also not enough.Does that make sense to you Yaz?"
"Yeah it does baby...very much...We should get going before the stores close" she smiled tucking hair behind her ears still playing with her curls
"Mmmm...not just yet missy" Clara smiled cheeky "I'm not done with you" she giggled and kissed her shortly and painfully slow lile only Clara ever kissed her sucking air from her lounges and making her tremble.
Yaz closed her eyes and tilted her head back as Clara sloped down her body, her hands trailing every inch of her and lips following the same path. She kissed her hip bone gently. A sign of what she's going to do next which Yaz knew very well by now. It was Clara's body language she knew so well that she could anticipate every move before it came. She looked down at Clara and smiled softly making room for her between her thighs, placing her feet on her shoulders and twitched as Clara placed a small kiss on the inside of her leg her lips so soft and gentle on her skin whilst hands trailing down her sides then fingers brushed over her. Yaz's back arched and her toes curled oh Clara's shoulders. She reached for hand and squeezed it tight.
"Oh god..." Yaz moaned her eyes closed tight falling into the other world where nothing existed accepted them two. She tugged lightly on her hair rocking herself over her lips lifting her hips off the sofa. "Please baby please" she begged and shuddered underneath her, cold fingers slowing down inside her but still there. She never wanted her to leave. Because she missed her as soon as she did iff that ever made sense in her mind. But she wanted Clara to be a part of her that never leaves her if it were at all humanly possible. She drifted somewhere, hips still rolling slowly lazy movements, her legs shaking. She felt Clara's thumb rubbing the side of her hand gently and her lips dotting kisses on the inside of her legs then trailing over her stomach until she settled draping herself over her. The weight of her body so welcoming pressing her onto the soft cushions of the sofa. Yaz wrapped her legs around her and stroke the back of her neck smiling dreamy, her deep brown eyes still half open and kissed her gently not noticing a tear running down the side of her face soaking into the soft fabric. Falling silent she fell asleep a for a while. Then soft voice called her name
"Yasmin...darling. We need to get ready"
"Hey...sorry" she said sleepy "God I can't believe I feel asleep again"
"Not for long. It's ok love, but we will be late" she dotted kisses over her face
"Alright...up we go" she said giggling
….
They went to the same store where Clara bought bracelets for Yaz. The amount of jewelry inside was enormous. And the man recognized Clara as soon as she walked in.
"Oh hello madam"
"Hi...nice to see you again Rishi...this is Yasmin Khan" she smiled proudly
"Miss Khan it's my pleasure to meet you" he smiled "Your nanny Umbreen and I know each other for a long time"
"Hi, nice to meet you. Yes, she told me her wedding jewelry was bought in your store I had no idea. And she said I can trust you finding something really special for us"
"I never had two girls here so it will have to be special for you Yasmin"
"Oh, Sorry" Yaz said apologetically. She didn't know why she was apologizing, it just kind of just came out of her mouth. She felt stupid for saying that as soon as she said it. It was as if she was apologizing for marrying a woman. But the man didn't react and Clara ran a finger over the side of her arm, freeing her getting nervous.
"Hi girls!" Najia came inside making Yaz jump
"Mum! What the hell?" she looked at Clara
"Aaaaa Nadjia....just in time!....Surprise!" she laughed to Yaz who was completely taken back
"Hey you two...so did you pick anything?" she rushed inside and put her bag on the glass counter kissing them both
"Nope...just came in" Clara said
"Hi Rishi...so what do you have for my girls?"
"Hi Najia...give me a minute" he went at the back. He had a grin on his face that was not leaving his face.
"Mum what are you doing here?" Yaz laughed
"I wouldn't miss this for the world Yaz"
"You two are getting way too close" she looked at Clara giggling
"He's a very sweet man. Your father and I bought ours here as well Yaz"
"Blimey...is this a family wedding store?" Yaz rolled her eyes
"You could say that" Najia nodded
"Ah, family tradition" Clara said "I love family traditions" she said chuffed "I never had that"
"Well you do now honey" Nadjia said
"Here we go...all of those are very different...a bit unique" the man brought several big boxes from the back stacked up one on top of the other and slowly started opening them up one by one on the counter
"OMG" Yaz looked at all the jewelry and her head was spinning "That's a lot"
"Wooow...that's a lot of wedding rings" Clara said
"I know....excellent choice Yaz isn't it?" Nadjia said "And it's all 24 carat Yaz"
"Yeah...whatever that means" she commented "Baby I just want something simple" she turned to Clara absolutely petrified and completely overwhelmed
"I told you...you choose whatever you like Yaz...I'm sure I'm gonna like it" Clara said and rotated her towards the glass counter practically pushing her face into the boxes "See there's so many...just take your time and pick....See that's nice" she pointed to some rings with stones "That would look good on you"
"Babe...it's for both of us"
"I know...but it would look nice on you Yaz"
"That nice...I like that...or maybe those?" Najia showed some rings but to Yaz they all seemed the same. She was very quickly becoming anxious.
"Oh god....I don't know mum" Yaz looked over the boxes and felt her head was spinning. She really needed Clara to take over but this time it wasn't going to happen. She never thought that choosing something as simple as a wedding band could be so stressful. She felt Clara's breath on the back of her head and she placed her hand over hers on the counter. She knew this was to calm her down but it wasn't working this time. Then suddenly as her eyes were aimlessly wondering around countless jewelry there was a pair of rings that caught her eye.
"What about this?" Yaz pointed to a set of rings that each had half of a heart engraved on them, but when they joined together it made a whole heart. They were simple, but Yaz loved the simplicity of it. She shyly looked at Clara, waiting for her reaction
"Aaaaa...that's cleaver Yaz...A broken heart put together in whole one...I like that...Can't have a whole heart without Yaz"
"A broken heart put together baby?" Yaz looked at her chin wobbling. It was beautifully sad the way Clara looked at that "I didn't see it as that love...But I like that"
"Mmmm" Clara looked at her softly nodding "I like it Yaz"
"Can we see them please?" Nadjia asked the man
"Yes, yes of course" the man takes them out of the box and passed them to Yaz
"Do you like them?" Clara asked
"Yes very much...you love?" she looked at her with her big brown eyes wide open
"I really do Yaz" she smiled "Soooo....is that it?"
"Mmmmm....I think so" she smiled eyes filling with tears
"Alright lovely" she kissed her forehead "Then we have our rings....Now this is exiting" she squeezed Yaz's hand shaking it and kissed her knuckles
"We have our rings baby" she hugged her tight and Clara kissed the top of her head
"We sure do Yasmin"
"Can I take a picture please so I can show to everyone?" Yaz asked exited big smile on her face
"Yes of course you can...let me just put them on here....they will come out better for you" the man moved the rings placing them on a shiny white part of the counter
"Mum we have rings!" she looked at her mother with a big smile on her face eyes glistening
"You do darling...My beautiful girls" Nadjia brushed her finger over her face "You happy Clara?"
"Oh I'm so exited this is brilliant"
"They are beautiful. Not something I would ever go for...but she absolutely loves them and as long as you two are happy"
Clara and Najia continued chatting whiles Yaz was taking photos. Then they did the measurements and arranged all the other details and whilst Clara and Nadjia chatted away with the store owner Yaz suddenly felt the whole room turning around and the floor beneath her feet giving away. She stumbled grabbing the counter.
"Yaz!" Clara grabbed her and Yaz slumped in her arms "Are you alright?"
"Yaz darling is everything ok?" Nadjia said concerned
"Mmmm dizzy...really dizzy" she said leaning on Clara "I didn't have any breakfast"
"Oh, Yaz" Clara said worriedly "C'mere" she moved her to a chair that was in the corner of the store "Are you feeling sick Yaz?"
"No...just dizzy and like I'll faint"
"Is everything ok? Does she need a glass of water?" the store owner asked concerned
"Yes please" Najia kneeled next to her holding her hand "Yaz darling you're really worrying me"
Clara took a sonic out and zoomed it over her confusing Nadjia out of her mind "What's that?"
"Oh, just...diagnostic scanner...New technology...really useful stuff" Clara said looking at the reading "Right...you need to eat Yaz...fast...your sugar levels are really low...oh boy" she starts ravaging through her pockets taking all kinds of stuff out dumping them into Nadjias hands then took out a chocolate bar "Aaaaa...I knew this would come in handy....Here take that Yaz...We're going for lunch sharpish let me just sort this out" she stroke cheek "Alright lovely?"
"Mmmm...I'm so sorry"
"Don't be silly Yasmin...eat that now"
"Yaz you need to eat. You haven't been well. Please baby you need to take care of yourself"
Najia opened up a little chocolate and gave it to her then stroke her face
"I'm fine mum...stop fussing....Really"
Clara sorted everything out within few minutes and she was back at her side.
"Hey darling how do you feel? Tell me"
"Better really...honest"
Clara zoomed sonic again and then also shined in her eyes. "That chocolate helped but you still need food....C'mere darling" she helped her up then let her stand for a moment to see how she's doing "Dizzy?"
"No..."
"You need to be honest Yaz" Nadjia said
"I am mum honest...I feel fine for now"
"There's a restaurant opposite the road and they are fast. I'll just see what they have already done in a kitchen so we don't have to wait" Najia said
"Oh that's brilliant...Let's go darling slowly ok" Clara said
"Mmmm...." Yaz was still dizzy but she didn't want to worry them so she held herself around Clara's waist and walked slowly to the restaurant
"How do you feel Yaz...honest answer don't you tell me porkies" Clara said as she sat her down
"Fine love seriously stop fussing"
"I will always fuss around you and you better get used to it" she kissed her knuckles and sat down
"Seriously Yaz...we are all worried since you ended up in that hospital" Najia said and reached for her hand over the table "Let me go and speak to the owner, I know him...they will give us some food fast"
"Alright mum" Yaz said following Najia with her eyes as she got up and left then turned to Clara who had a cramp on her face that Yaz recognized. When the little wrinkle on her forehead became more prominent and her lips were tight, her jaw clenching "Baby please relax...pleaseeee" she reached for her hand and took her middle finger twirling it playfully "I'm fine darling I just didn't have any breakfast"
"Just worried that's all...show me pictures it will make happy"
"Aaaa yes..." she jumped to it straight away and took her phone out of her bag "Look...I'm putting this in my diary....Can I share it?"
"Babe you can do what ever you want with it...why are you asking for my permission silly" she taps her nose "They are beautiful Yaz...perfect really...can't wait it's so exciting"
"I was getting worried at one point...I was shitting myself and I really needed you to step in. They all looked the same to me" she giggled
"It was a bit overwhelming I must admit. But I wanted this to be your choice Yaz. I chose a cake and table decorations. And I know this means so much to you. I would wear what ever you want anyway" she smiled happily "When did you take this photo cheeky?" she giggled seeing Yaz took a photo of her sleeping
"The other day...you looked so cute"
"Silly" she smiled
"Alright the food is coming in five minutes" Najia said returning to the table "I just chose whatever was already done I hope you like it Clara"
"It's fine Najia I eat most stuff...It's important she eats anyway"
Nadjia also looked worried and stressed and as much Yaz thought it was absolutely the sweetest how much her mum and Clara worried about her she also felt as though they are both fussing way too much over her.
"Look mum...photos are beautiful" she turned her phone towards her
"They are...I will be honest Yaz...those rings would really never be my choice but you two are beaming over them so I'm slowly warming up to them I guess. Sorry I know it's not what you wanna hear Yaz"
"It's fine mum...you always were brutal with your honesty" she laughs
….
As Clara pulled the car up the driveway, things seemed wrong. She slowed and leaned over the dashboard.
"What's wrong?" Yaz asked and looked in a same direction "Fuck" one glance at the house she released the door is opened
"Yeah" Clara said worried
"Stay here" Yaz opened the car door in a second and ran out
"Yaaaaz noo! Shooot!!" she hit the steering wheel with both hands and ran after her, grabbing her forearm at the door. "Yaz get into the car" she said frantically but trying to be quiet pulling her
"What?" Nooo, you get into the car Clara" she nudged her arm "I was a police officer remember...besides someone might be still inside" she pointed nervously at the door
"And I'm the Doctor! You have no idea what your dealing with, I do!!" she pulled the sonic out
"A sonic? Are you fuckin kidding me Clara?" before she finished the sentence the noise could be herd from the house and Clara ran inside
"Fuck sake!" Yaz stomped her foot and went after her.
She heard a noise from the kitchen and when she walked in, she saw a man jump over the kitchen counter and when he turned, Clara's hand grabbed her out of nowhere and pulled her to the floor with such force that she hit her knees on the tiles and felt a sharp pain go through her leg. A laser beam fired above their heads hitting the wall.
"Fuck...fuck!" Yaz yelled partially from pain and partly from shock
Clara zoomed the sonic towards the ceiling pot and pan rack above the kitchen top and when the chain snapped, the whole thing came crashing down on the person's head. He stood up and booted his way through the back door, running into the garden.
"Don't move" Clara grabbed her wrist so hard that Yaz felt a spasm in her arm from her grip, she got up and ran after the person
"Nooo!" Yaz cried out and stood up, but a sharp pain in her leg stopped her dead in her tracks. She grabbed the knife from the kitchen drawer and tried to walk. But she felt like she was going to pass out from the pain. She couldn't see Clara from the trees and the conservatory. She had no idea what was going on and began to panic, feeling completely helpless in the kitchen. Then she saw Clara running back into the house. "Clara what the fuck?" she said totally confused
"No time darling really no time" she took a knife out of her hand throwing it on a floor and wrapped her hand around her neck gripping it really tight "I need you to trust me...do you trust me?" she asked practically shaking Yaz's head gripping the side of her neck
"Yeah....of course I fucking do" Yaz nodded scared. Then felt a cold metal object on her palm and looked down. Clara placed a gun in her hand and Yaz looked at her speechless "Take it....stay here"
"Whaaaa?...Where did you?" she looked back at the weapon
"Yaz...stay here" she pulled her back to the floor and Yaz cried out in pain "Yaz?"
"My knee I think it's broken"
"Oh noo...Darling I have to check the house"
"We need to call the police Clara" Yaz tugged on her hand
"Noooo...trust me" she wrapped fingers around her face "Please Yaz, please no time" she shook her head
"Alright...alright" Yaz nodded as she didn't really have anything else to do at the moment. She had a million thoughts in her head and none. But she was absolutely sure of one thing that this was much bigger than her and she had no choice but to trust Clara. Her Clara, physics professor Clara, Doctor Clara, the alien woman she absolutely adored and knew so little about and so much at the same time. As her thoughts raced, Clara briefly pressed her lips to hers and she was left with a loaded gun on the kitchen floor of their house. She forgot about the sharp pain in her leg. She forgot about everything and just sat on the floor listening to Clara running around the house. She looked around the kitchen and just then realized how everything was turned upside down, how the blinds were broken and how the doors on Clara's beloved conservatory were shattered. It was breaking Yaz's heart.
It didn't take long before Clara came back for her. She seemed calmer, if that was even possible. But the fear Yaz had seen in her eyes a moment ago was gone and she looked more angry than anything else. Yaz had never seen her like this, she had only seen Clara's tender side. She was talking to someone on the phone as she walked into the kitchen and left the phone on the kitchen counter, then turned to Yaz, her expression changing in a split second to the softest, most caring one ever.
"I'm so sorry Yaz" she took a gun off her gently and placed it on top of the counter "C'mere love"
"Clara what's going on?" Yaz desperately asked at this point. She put her arm around Clara's neck and let her pick her up from the floor. She didn't get an answer, just a soft, gentle smile and the peck of Clara's lips on her cheek as she carried her into the living room.
"OMG!" Yaz said in shock as Clara carried her inside and slowly placed her on the sofa
"I know...It's just stuff Yaz...don't worry about it" she kneeled in front of her "I have to see that knee darling"
"It really hurts baby"
"I know love" Clara zoomed a sonic over it and pursed her lips "Yaz darling I need to cut those" she pointed to Yaz's tight trousers
"Fuck the trousers...cut them"
Clara smiled "Alright my potty mouth" she kissed her forehead and went to get what Yaz assumed were scissors leaving her in the living room. Yaz's eyes wandered around the room. The floor was covered with books and items scattered everywhere. The glass cabinet was tipped on it's side but glass wasn't broken, although there were scorched marks on the wood as though someone was desperately trying to brake it open. Yaz only assumed the cabinet must be reinforced in some way and the glass on it was shutter proof. She sat on the sofa until Clara came back. She cut her trousers removing them, leaving her in her underwear.
"Shoot" she looked at her leg "Yaz I need to.." she trailed off
"I know...just do it" she looked at her dislocated knee.
Clara kissed her shortly "Did I tell you when I was hiking in China and fell down this cliff?"
"No?" Yaz smiled
"Oh, I was a bloke then" she smiled looking at her shortly and then went back to her knee gently running her hand over it inspecting it "I was looking for this dragon egg" she said gliding her hand down her calf-length
"A dragon egg..." Yaz raised an eyebrow "Seriously?...Are you telling me porkies?"
"Never Yaz...Oh, they are very real...well, were at the time...but you will know that in about next hundred years" she smiled and suddenly pulled her leg so fast and forcefully Yaz saw the stars, but not in a way she wanted to see them. A loud scream left her mouth and Clara's hand wrapped around her neck pulling her forehead against hers "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry love"
"Uffff...." she took a few short breathes clenching Clara's braces with one hand and the sleeve of Clara's shirt with the other
"I love you...Hey at least it's not broken, ha" she smiled
"Yeah lucky me" Yaz giggled back painfully "Fuck you Clara" she smiled huffing and puffing from pain
"I totally deserve that" she stroke her neck and kissed her forehead "You're so brave...gold star for my Yasmin"
"Fuck you loads Clara...And I love you too" she said grabbing her wrist
I need to get something, wait for me here"
"Oh, I was gonna go for a run but ok" Yaz said rolling her eyes
"Cheeky" Clara smiled and walked out leaving Yaz with no idea where or why she left. But her leg hurt so much that she didn't care. The pain pulses up and down. She wasn't sure if she was more worried about their house being broken into by someone with apparently very advanced weaponry or the most human of all worries she had, whether she would have crutches for her wedding. In any case, everything seemed bizarre, Yaz was slowly getting used to things being bizarre next to Clara. And she found herself thinking that, as bizarre as it was, she wouldn't trade it for anything. And that in itself was bizarre, considering that less than half an hour ago, someone shot a laser at them. Clara came back again carrying what was already very familiar to Yaz. It was her silly injection device. She didn't even care about the needles poking her because the pain in her leg was becoming agonizing at this point and she would take any drug to make it stop. It was also twice as big by that point and she was getting cold sitting in her underwear and a T-shirt.
"Darling I have to"
"Just give me anything I don't fucking care it really hurts"
"I know...I'm so sorry Yaz this my fault. I pulled you to the ground"
"Oh you should've just left me getting a laser whole through my brain but at least my leg would be fine" she giggled as much as she could from the pain
"That's not funny Yasmin" she shook her head "This will help" she gave her injection and brought her pajamas helping her get changed. She had her lie down on a sofa and propped her leg up on a bunch of pillows putting cold press on it. Yaz was sleepy and she assumed from the injection. Her pain was slowly going away as well. She hated herself at this point because house was in a mess and she couldn't help Clara to clean it up.
"Sleep darling...you need to rest" Clara said stroking her forehead
"What about all of this" she pointed with her hand lazy already drifting away
"Don't you worry about it" Clara stroke her forehead with her thumb
"I love you Doctor" Yaz mumbled incoherently
"I missed you calling me that lovely" Clara smiled and pressed a small kiss to her hairline "I love you too my beautiful Yasmin"
Little peak to Yaz/s diary
Chapter 26
It was coming up to evening and Clara took out last two bags of rubbish trying to fit them into the bin
"Aaaaahhh...oh come ooon...I have no patience for this as well today...Why is it that humans need to make things so small for no reason?" she muttered angrily booting the bin then grabbed rubbish bags taking them into the Tardis "I know...I know... I'm sorry...no it's not fair but I really appreciate it"
Tardis hummed and lights turned pink "She's ganna be fine. We have the rings. You're gonna love them" she smiled looking up "It's the only thing keeping me from going bonkers. I need to go to her...love ya" she hoped to the door "And thanks for the rubbish"
Yaz was still sleeping on a sofa and Clara put the dinner in the oven then started repairing the blind in the kitchen.
"Clara?" Yaz called from the living room
"Hey lovely" Clara walked inside and kneeled by the sofa "How are you doing darling?" she stroke her forehead and kissed her hairline "Does it hurt? I can give you another shot darling. Let me see" she lifted the blanket
"No it's it's better...just need to pee...and..
"It's ok baby...I'll take you"
"I can maybe walk"
"No you will not do such thing Yasmin...Come on baby...sit up...just slowly" she moved the blanket and helped her to turn around "Put your arms around my shoulders...come on"
Clara lifted her up and took her upstairs to the bathroom. Yaz was still groggy from the medication Clara gave her.
"I made a nice dinner" Clara kneeled next to the toilet
"Oh baby...I feel like all you do is drag me around ever since we met. There's always some fucking shit wrong with me" she stroke her face still sleepy
"Don't be silly...it's all life...besides I'm the one to blame for this...I'm so sorry"
"No you're not...shut up..."
"I fixed the blind and they are bringing the new conservatory door tomorrow"
"And you cleaned up everything...I'm done by the way" she giggled "Or you like hanging around in a toilet?"
"Oh...sorry..." Clara laughed
She helped her up and took her back downstairs to the living room.
"I even got a bridal carry" Yaz giggled as Clara popped her back on a sofa
"Neah...this is just a rehearsal for the real one" she tapped her nose
"Oh...look at you charmer..."
"What can say Yaz...centuries of practice" she smugs and winks at her
"Lucky me" she giggles
"Food?" she asked exited pointing towards the kitchen
"Yes please I'm starving"
"Coming up" she zoomed towards the kitchen "It's not much...Just some chicken and potatoes" she yelled from the kitchen "And salad...I know you love salad...
"That's fantastic babe"
Yaz was sitting on a sofa and looking around and it was only now she saw how Clara managed to clean up everything to a point where you couldn't even make out that anything had even happened. All the stuff was back in its place and the wooden display cabinet was back where it was. All the broken glass was picked up and floors hoovered. She was wondering how long was she sleeping and how much Clara's injection nocked her out when she didn't even hear the hoover going around her. Her leg was still hurting and was very swollen so she was definitely not capable of working any time soon.
"Here we go" Clara came from the kitchen with a tray and placed it on her lap then put cushions behind her back and kissed her forehead
"Oh baby..."
"What darling?"
"I'm sorry"
"For what Yaz?"
"Being in a shit state again and you having to do everything"
"Oh no no...you do not put this on yourself...don't you dare missy...told you already...that leg is all my fault. I can't believe I did that...I just forget sometimes Yaz that I'm stronger and my body can take more...humans are so fragile"
"Fuck babe it really hits me when you say it like that"
"What?"
"That you're not human babe...it's like it goes at the back of my mind...I forget...and then you say stuff like that and it just throws me sideways" she giggled "Well that dinner looks super yummy"
"Tomorrow I'm gonna work on better security" she said and sat on a floor putting her plate on a coffee table "I should've done it before I just wasn't thinking...Never had a house before Yaz I didn't have to think about that"
"Babe..."
"Mmmm?" she mumbled chewing haply on her dinner
"Where did that gun come from? You do release that can put you to jail? You can't own a gun in UK babe"
"It's from Kate darling...and I'm not gonna end up in jail...Don't worry"
Yaz looked at her worried and Clara took one more bite then released she was just looking at her with thousands of question marks flying over her head. She just wanted to forget what happened but she also released she won't be able to. Not this time around. So she left her fork on plate.
"Come on darling...ask me...what do you wanna know?...Ask me anything...but before you do one thing you need to understand Yaz is that I don't use guns. I never do...I don't kill people Yaz. That gun was there to protect you"
"Why why me?"
"Because all I have is you...and I'm not about to lose you any time soon"
"Clara who was that man? I know I said I won't ask about your past...but.."
Clara purest her lips then got up and walked out of the room without a word.
"I'm sorry..." Yaz put the tray on a table "I didn't mean to Clara...I..."
Clara came back and put the file on the table leaving her completely confused "What's that?"
"That darling is the case I'm working on....that morning I went to see Kate...it was about that" she slid the file across the table "You can look if you want...but it's not something I really want you to see or something I ever wanted to bring into our lives"
"What is it?"
"Experiments done on humans with alien DNA...by some dangerous people Yaz"
"Oh Clara...fuck me babe...you're working on that?"
She put her hands in her pockets and craned her head down walking across the room "Yes baby...I never wanted...I thought I left that in my past.." she walked up to the window then turned towards her "But my past has a nasty habit of catching up with me and never leaving me alone"
"What does your past have to do with that? Please tell me"
Clara sighed deeply "It was something I was working on...years ago...and I thought I settled it Yaz...I thought they were gone...those people. I thought I've stopped them...but I was wrong. And I can't just leave it like that....I can't because if I do I can never have this...and I want this... I want you Yaz...I want this life"
"Because what...they will hurt you?...Is that what you're scared off darling?"
Clara shook her head "Noo Yaz...But they will you...It's...it's just...complicated...it's...I have to finish it..I have to find out...I have to find out more, everything they were doing and get rid of it for good...I need answers Yaz...I never got them I was searching for years...and things just went badly wrong...as bad as they can get..."
"Clara..." Yaz asked quietly
She sighed "Yes baby?"
"Does this have anything to do with your wife darling?"
Clara was swallowing marbles by this point and holding back the tears. She looked up to the ceiling and took a big breath
"Oh baby" Yaz said worriedly as she could see Clara is one step from crying "Alright...look I'm sorry...we're stopping this conversation...I don't wanna upset you and I can see this is really upsetting you"
"Nooo Yaz....I....it's just...I.."
"Clara darling please...I would get up if I can...please baby...c'mere" she reached out with her hand "please baby...c'mere"
Clara wiped a tear from her face and walked over. Yaz grabbed her hand and pulled her towards herself laying her head on her stomach and wrapped her arms around her waist. She felt her breathing deeply underneath her cheek and her fingers in her hair.
"I am so sorry Yaz...I never wanted this"
"I know...it's fine..." she kissed her stomach and pulled her hand down to kneel in front of her "Listen..." Yaz stroke her face and tucked her hair behind her ears "We're in this together alright"
"Noo baby not in this"
"Hey...shhh...I'm gonna read that file...I wanna know what that shit is...and what ever that shit is we will resolve it together"
"Yaz I don't want you anywhere near that...that's not why I gave you that file"
"They are already in our house babe...I'm already in it..."
"Oh stars Yaz...noo...I don't want that ..I can do this on my own..." she grabbed her hands "I've been doing it for centuries Yaz"
"Well you're not alone now"
"Yaz please baby" she wrapped her hand at the back of her neck "I can't do that...no please...I need you as far away from this as possible. Please trust me on this...I can't go through it again...I just...that's not what meant when I gave this to you...What was I thinking"
"Nothing is gonna happen to me darling...You can't live with that fear and i want to help you I was a police officer I can help you"
"Yaz...please I'm beginning you noo...do not touch into that" tears rolled down her face
"Clara...OMG babe...calm down"
"I can't calm down" she raised her voice crying "I can't I...I can't go through that again..." she was squeezing her hand and the back of her neck shaking her head "I just want normal life...that's all I want I just wanted it for a moment...just one moment...I can't have that pain again...please"
"Clara" Yaz yelled "Ok...OMG...ok...ok..." she brought her hand to her cheek "Just please calm down...please" she kissed her through her tears "I'm here baby...I'm here alright" she pulled her in and Clara buried her head into her neck "Calm down...please...please baby.."
"Please Yaz..."
"Ok...alright...I won't...I promise ok..." She grabbed her head with both hands and lifted her gaze to meet her eyes. Tears streaming down her face "Shhhhh...Alright...I'll just work in shop ok, or be a house wife or what ever the fuck you want me to be and I won't even look at that...alright?....Is that ok baby?...Tell me...you don't really want me to read it do you?...Is that it?"
"Noo...I don't...I don't Yaz...I just ..all the secrets and I just wanted you to trust me"
"But I do trust you...just please stop crying...please baby" she dotted kisses over her face "I do trust you Clara...I always have...It's why I'm not asking much...I'm just trying to make sense of things that's all. But it was never about trust...ever darling...I just wanna be there for you"
"I love you Yaz...I love you soo much and I will tell you everything I will I promise I just need time I..."
"I know...I know Clara and its fine, really it is...And I love you more then I can even say it...Just promise me something...I need at least that and I promise I won't ask any more questions"
"Anything..." she wiped her tears looking at her with swollen eyes
"Please what ever you do don't get hurt...because as much as you don't wanna loose me darling I would die without you..."
Clara nodded "I won't...I promise Yaz I won't..."
"Please baby..."
"I promise..." she kisses her desperately through the tears tugging her hair and squeezing Yaz's top in her hand
"Right, then we have a deal. Love you my silly mess of a person...Can we have some food now I'm starving" Yaz smiled into her lips
"Mmmm" she nodded "I think I lost my appetite Yaz"
"It's really nice what you cooked" she reached her plate and took a potato in her hand waiving it in front of her lips "Open...please...if you love me"
"That's not fair"
"Life is not fair, get used to it" she smiled cheeky and shoved a potato in her mouth then kissed her lips "I love you...so fucking much"
Clara sighed and slumped on a floor and Yaz stabbed another potato from her plate and shoved it into her mouth "Better?"
"It is nice" Clara looked up to her and smiled sniffling
"It is...you're not such a bad cook when you put the effort"
"Cheeky potty mouth" Clara smiled
…
They were halfway through the movie and Yaz was dozing off on the sofa with her back against Clara. She turned and buried her head in her neck, wrapping her arm around her. Clara felt calmer, but still restless inside. She hugged her tightly and kissed her head trying to focus on the movie to think about something else. She never thought the conversation would take the direction it did, but at the same time she thought how naïve she was to think that it wouldn't knowing Yaz. Except that this Yaz was so different and yet so the same that she almost lost herself in it. And predicting her moves became much more difficult. The weight of it all weighed on her so much. As more time passed, she felt more and more the need to bare her soul in front of her, and keeping secrets made her restless and afraid of losing her. But it was difficult to find a balance between her need to protect her and honesty. And if she had to choose between keeping her safe and losing the trust Yaz had in her, she would choose keeping her safe in a heart beat, even though she hoped with every cell in her body that she would never have to make that choice. She slowly calmed down, pressing her closer and closer to herself. To Clara she seemed so fragile, so vulnerable. And all she wanted was to hold her in her arms where she knew it was the only place in this universe where she was safe and protected from everything. But she couldn't. It was just a stupid thought born of pure desperation and she knew it. Now she only had two goals...two thinks to do. To make her better no matter the cost and get rid of her past that kept creeping into their lives. It was everything she wanted and everything she could think of. The only two things that occupied her mind from the moment she opened her eyes in the morning until the moment she closed them at night. If only she could do those two, she would feel like she could breathe again like she used to. Like she was going to stop choking on the remanence of her past and live the life she wanted in a way she'd never wanted anything before in her long existence.
Yaz woke up in pain. She was desperately trying to make herself comfortable but her leg was still hurting her a lot. She rubbed her face into Clara's neck then tried to move into some more comfortable position.
"Hey lovely? Slowly darling...I know it hurts...I need to give you one more shot so you can sleep more comfortably and you need ice pack again" Clara wiggled from the sofa and back on her feet then put more cushions underneath her leg.
"It really hurts" she said sleepy
"I know baby...I know it does...I could kick myself for this honestly...I'll be back in a second" she pursed her lips and kissed her forehead then went to get the medication and ice pack
She walked into the kitchen and got the ice pack from the fridge and placed it on the kitchen top then glanced at her phone quickly.
"At least some good news" she quickly answered the message and the ran to the Tardis
Hey beautiful..." Tardis hummed for her as soon as she got in and turned the lights pink "Aaaahhh you got it ready for me. What would I ever do without you, ha?...She's gonna be better tomorrow...I can't believe I did that...I'm so stupid sometimes honestly" she picked up the little bottle from the console "Love ya.. see you later"
She ran outside and through the kitchen grabbed the ice pack and went back to the living room.
"Hey baby" she smiled and kneeled next to Yaz
"I missed the whole movie...sorry"
"Well...nothing new there is it" she giggled and gave her the shot then kissed her quickly
"No I suppose not"
"But it's the medication as well darling it's making you sleepy...and that's fine...you need to sleep. It will heal faster"
"I'm not gonna have crutches for a wedding am I?...Please tell me I won't"
"Nooo silly that's month away Yaz" she said placing the ice pack on her leg and putting blanket over her "You're gonna be dancing by then"
"I hope so"
"You're gonna be as good as new in a week time Yaz...you'll see...hey look what I've got for you" she wiped out a Snickers bar out of her pocket making Yaz giggle
"Sometimes you feel more like a mum than anything else babe"
"Blimey Yaz...now that's just weird"
"I know..." she giggled "My sugar mummy" she laughed
"What's that?" Clara frowned tucking her into the blanket
"Oh god...you're definitely not from Earth. ..never mind babe...forget I ever said that"
"Right...comfy?"
"Yeah...thanks babe...what about you?"
"Never mind me Yaz..." she threw few cushions on the floor and sat down then Yaz draped her arm around her her shoulder "What did I miss?" Clara asked and kissed her knuckles
"Not much...they came to New York and met up with this guy ...." she continued telling the plot of the movie. Clara held her hand and every so often brushed Yaz's fingertips over her lips kissing them.
…
All Sunday, Clara was tinkering around the house, checking on Yaz from time to time. She popped outside to get some shopping and left everything for her that she could possibly need in a mean time. A cup of tea, a tray with biscuits, a sandwich iff she gets hungry, glass of water and and a juice. She was laying in the conservatory reading one of the books from Clara's vast collection. She had to lie to her mom and say she fell down the stairs. She could hardly tell her the truth. All day long, Clara couldn't get out of her head, and the book was just a way to distract herself from thinking, actually from worrying. She felt this fear inside her that she couldn't shake. She was worried sick. She felt as if more she learned about Clara, more layers she peeled back more traumas she would uncover, and it made her feel utterly helpless. She wanted so desperately to help her, yet she didn't know how to reach her without hurting her. Clara's face so shaken and broken in floods of tears was constantly at the back of her mind. Yaz heard the car pulling on a driveway and her heart jumped knowing Clara was back home.
"Hey lovely" Clara yelled from the kitchen
"Hey baby...missed you" Yaz yelled back and put the book on the coffee table
"Look what I got for you!" Clara walked in exited holding a pair of pink crutches
"OMG I fucking love you for this...and pink" she giggled
"I know....cute ha?" she grinned haply "Wanna try them them out?"
"Absolutely...yes...C'mere you" she grabbed her hand and pulled her down for a kiss "I really love you" she said into her lips and kissed her again
"I love you to my beautiful butterfly"
"Butterfly?" she giggled
"Yeah" she smiled "Why not?...butterflies are beautiful" she helped her to sit up "You're beautiful"
"And you're cute" she wrapped her arms around her neck and Clara pulled her up
"Right...let me know if I need to adjust the height" she passed her one and then the other crouch
"It's seems fine" she tried walking around
"Just slowly Yaz...don't go mad...you need to get used to them"
"But I can walk again" she giggled hopping around the conservatory and Clara was going behind her ready to grab her. She could so see her falling the way she was going
"I know you can but you're gonna be flying as well if you don't slow down Yaz...hey wanna see what I did?"
"Yeah sure...what did you do? You've been fiddling with something the whole day"
"I have yes...wait till you see it...Come...just slowly please" she led her towards the driveway and when they stood in front of the house she pointed a sonic at the main door. The air around the house wobbled and Yaz frowned
"What the hell?...What was that?"
"The most advanced security system in the universe Yaz...look" she poked her finger in it and it zapped her "Uff ... well that hurts" she shook her hand and scrunched her face
"What the fuck babe...what is that?"
"Force field potty mouth...it is all around the house...so no more braking in Yaz"
"Right...waaaw ...Bloody hell...how did you do that?"
"Bighead remember..." she grinned and kissed her temple
"You are aren't you....How does it power up?"
"Artron energy...it's quite simple really...Not much to it I just needed to install few amplifiers that's all...I really don't know why I never did that before"
Yaz stood in a driveway confused and she was just about to ask her what the hell was artron energy when the van beeped right behind her
"Aaaaa...door Yaz"
"Door?" she frowned
"Conservatory door...new one"
"Oh yes of course...I forgot"
The van parked up and Clara ran to it "Thanks for that Craig...I really appreciate you bringing it on Sunday"
"No worries love...I can't believe you got broken into" he said stepping out of the van
"I know...can you believe it...and in the middle of a day as well"
"Times have changed...there'll be more and more of that unfortunately....You're not the only one I had four cases this month. All the same...they came through the back door" he walked around the van and opened the back door "Here we go...nice and shiny just for you"
"Brilliant ...fancy a cuppa?"
"That would be lovely...thank you"
"I'll leave the garage door open for you just go around the back I'll meet you there"
"Sure love"
"Come on Yaz let's go make a some tea" she pointed the sonic and moved the force field then ran to the garage door and opened it up
"See...it will be like nothing ever happened darling" she said as they were stepping back into the house
"Except that it did love" she said worriedly
"It's gonna be fine...I promise" she kissed her temple
"I bet you say this every time" she smiled
"Mmmm only sometimes"
"God I hope you're right"
…
Four days passed and they didn't talk about what happened anymore. Things went back to normal as if nothing had happened. Clara never spoke about it again, and Yaz never asked anything again. She wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do, but the last thing she wanted was to upset her again. She has gotten used to her new pink accessory and has been hopping around the house more or less without any problems. Clara tied rainbow colored ribbons to the sides of her crutches which made her laugh. Her knee still hurt, but it was getting better faster than she expected. The last time she had an injury like this, it took her a lot longer to recover. She put it all down to the injections that Clara gave her every day and began to welcome them because they obviously made her feel better. But they made her sleepy as well, as if she didn't get enough sleep she could literally fall asleep sitting up now and would regularly fall asleep every night watching TV. Clara took over as usual, which now included making dinner every night, and Yaz felt absolutely useless. But she wouldn't let her do anything and insisted she rest. The only downside to Clara taking on all the responsibilities was that every day she would forget something from the store and there was always something missing in the house. But Yaz found her dizziness endearing and funny. The day dragged on as she tried to do some cleaning and ironing to pass the time until Clara came home from work. There wasn't much ironing and she couldn't figure out when Clara did it.
She hated being alone, and she hated being separated from her even more. Sonya took a piss out of her by saying that they were joined at the hip and that instead of wedding rings, they should get handcuffs and tie themselves permanently. She made herself some tea and sat down in her usual place in the kitchen, looking out into the garden. It was a beautiful sunny day and the feeling of the coming summer in the air. The other day she noticed that swallows had made a nest on Clara's little blue shed just above the door and hoped to see the babies. She was still intrigued by that shed, but she somehow forgot about it with every other surprise that came with Clara, and she had no shortage of surprises, that was for sure. Yaz never thought in a million years that meeting the love of her life would also include all the other things she had learned over the past few months, but she also never dreamed that they would become so casually a part of her life either. Maybe that's what it means when people say love is blind, she thought, but in her case it was also death. She didn't care less as long as she had her. She heard the car pulling up the driveway and felt her heart pound at the sound of it. So she grabbed her churches and rushed for the door
"Hey lovely" Clara smiled coming out of the car "Stay there don't go on a gravel you might fall"
"Hey baby" Yaz stood at the door
"I got some shopping...I hope I got everything this time" she said opening the booth of the car and taking bags out
"OMG...did you buy the whole store?" Yaz laughed when she saw her taking out around seven bags of shopping
"No...but I got half of it for sure..." she laughed
"You silly woman"
"I did remember your chocolate this time" she said happily coming inside and dumped all the bags on the counter "How's my little limping sloth?" she cupped her cheeks and kissed her
"Limping but I did manage to do some cleaning"
"Cleaning Yaz...nooo...come on we spoke about that" she slumped her shoulders frowning
"I know we have but I can't just sit and do nothing the whole day babe...I'm sorry" Yaz opened one of the bags and started taking stuff out
"Yes you can Yaz...just watch movies or that series you like that I hate"
"It's a good series.." she rolled her eyes laughing taking shopping out on the kitchen counter
"I don't like it...you know I don't like guns Yaz"
"Sais a woman who owns one" she giggled
"Oi...I never used that thing Yaz..."
"I know I know...chill out" she grabbed her braces and pulled her in kissing her
"Hey look what I got" she started digging through the bags and pulled out a beautiful photo frame
"What's beautiful babe...what's it for?"
"I thought it can be for our wedding photo...like it?"
"OMG...that's brilliant...of course I like it...Hey there's swallow nest on your shed"
"Whaaa?" she looked at Yaz confused
"Yeah right above the door"
"Really? Well that's gonna be complicated iff I ever need to use it"
"Why? It's above the door" she frowned confused putting stuff in the fridge "Besides you're just moving it around the garden and never using it anyway...pass me the butter babe"
"For now Yaz...I might do some day you know"
"Why do you love that thing so much? And where did it even come from?"
"I have it for years Yaz...it's just special to me"
"So what, you just kept it parked here on Earth or something when you decide to pop over for a century or two? Or get married" she giggled "I'm really confused with some stuff you do release that, right?"
"It will all make sense one day lovely" she kissed her quickly "I promise" she slipped her arm around her waist and moved the crouches on a side then wrapped another arm around her as well
"Fuck you smell nice...and you're doing this on purpose so I don't ask any more questions" she giggled tucking her hair behind her ears and trailed her fingers down her arm
"No I don't" she frowned then kissed the side of Yaz's neck
"See like this...you're clever I'll give you that" she giggled
"I am clever" she kissed the other side of Yaz's neck
"Oh please don't start what you can't finish" she felt herself becoming a pile of jelly already underneath her lips that were trailing every part of her neck
"You don't want me to kiss you?" she looked at her with those autumn eyes completely innocently making Yaz giggle
"You cheeky fucker don't you dare pull that face...Yes I do want you to kiss me but not like that...not now when I'm limping around and I can't do shit" she squeezed her face between her palms
"I'll be gentle" she smirked and went for her neck again and Yaz grabbed her head stopping her
"You always are...but I'm broken" she laughed as Clara's hands were trailing all over her like octopus wrapping around her and she felt them everywhere
"So..." she moved closer and brushed her lips on hers "I'll put you together" she kissed her slow and methodically with a purpose and Yaz was going. Not able to stand properly on her leg she wrapped her arms around her shoulders
"Then you can fall apart again underneath me" she smiled into her lips cheeky
"Fuck you Clara" she pulled her in and kissed her passionate letting her lift up from the floor and take her upstairs
...
Chapter 27
"We need to get up you know" Yaz giggled trailing her finger over Clara's shoulder
"I know...I'm really hungry now...but I have something fast there we can just sling in the oven..." she laughed
"Good cause I'm starving now you took advantage out of me"
"You didn't complain"
"I never complain and I assure you, you can take advantage out of me when ever you want"
"I know" she giggled
Yaz smacked her with a pillow "Being smug with me ha?"
"Just saying Yaz" she smiled getting up "I tell you what Yaz, stay here...I'll run downstairs shove something in the oven and by the time we have a shower it's gonna be done"
"I do love the way your brain works" she smiled
"Brains lovely ...there's more than one" she pulled the shirt over her head quickly
"Sexy bum" Yaz giggled and Clara wiggled her bum on a way out of the room making funny scrunched up faces
…
"Uuu that smells nice" Clara took the dinner out of the oven "Auch...hot hot hot hot...shoot" she threw the tray on the kitchen top
"You alright there babe?"
"Yap...just burned myself on a tray that's all"
"Please be careful...I'm absolutely starving..." Yaz yelled from the living room
"I know...me too" Clara filled up the plates and took them to the living room
"Give me a second...I just need to finish the salad" she said placing the plates on the coffee table
"Look at you...I have my private chef as well"
"Yap...so you do lovely" she smiled and hoped towards the kitchen
Yaz suddenly felt cold so she pulled the blanket from the side of the sofa and wrapped herself in it. She was wearing pajama bottoms and a large fleece top. But despite being so warmly dressed, she was freezing. And Clara wore only her usual light cotton bottoms and a matching long top. So she knew it wasn't cold. But she was shivering.
Clara came back with the salad and immediately clocked on to it just looking at her all wrapped up in a blanket.
"Yaz darling...." she put the salad on the table and touched her forehead "Baby you're burning up" she reached for her sonic from the shelf and scanned her
"Why is this happening for fuck sake?"
"It's alright baby...It's just your body still healing and you must have just caught cold...which is precisely why I'm saying to slow down and rest but noooo...she's doing the cleaning and ironing. I really don't care Yaz if my shirts are ironed if you're in a hospital...and that's the last place I wanna see you"
"Alright alright...point taken"
"I really hope so...tomorrow you rest and when I come home the only place I wanna see you is on a sofa...any one of them... I'm not telling you off" she brushed her thumb over her cheek "Well I am a little bit. But that's only because I'm worried about you"
"I know" Yaz pouted her lips and pulled a puppy face on her which always unmistakably worked like charm on Clara and she knew it. But deep down she also knew she only had herself to blame because she did push herself way too hard the whole day
"Let me give you medication darling before you eat" she stroke the side of her head and got up. "You'll feel better by the morning as long as you rest tomorrow"
"I'm so fed up with myself"
"C'mere" she moved the hair from her neck and gave her the shot then sat next to her "Please Yaz listen to me...you're week and fragile...turn your head" she scooped up her hair and braided it whiles talking "I feel like I'm nagging you...and I don't wanna do that. I just want you to get better. Your body is fighting to heel and you're exhausting in...There..." she laid her braid on her back then put her finger under her chin turning her gaze "Please...for me"
"Alright I'm sorry...I was just bored"
"There are ways of making yourself busy without stressing out your body"
"Thank you for sorting out my hair" smiled
"It's relaxing" she kissed her quickly then grabbed the tray with food and placed it on her lap "Eat now before it cools down"
"Do you know how perfect you are to me?"
Clara chuckled "And you're delusional...I think your fever got into your head Yaz" she kissed her temple "Eat your dinner then after we can take the immobilizer off for the night. Also, I spoke at the collage and arranged a physiotherapy for you after it heals"
"Really? I need that?"
"Yes you do...you're not a Time Lord Yaz...things don't just go away baby...your body is fragile and I don't want you having permanent problem with that knee. So physiotherapy really helps. Besides it's my mate from university and you're gonna like him...and you get to go to work with me...how amazing is that Yaz"
"That's the only part I like about it" she mumbled taking a bite of her food
"Grumpy...I'm calling you grumpy pumpy Yaz"
"OMG" she burst out laughing "Don't you dare say that in public to me"
Clara laughed "Of course not...but I will call you that around the house if you continue being grumpy"
"What are we gonna do with your trip at the weekend?"
"I'm gonna cancel it until you feel better don't worry"
"Babe I don't want you canceling your work for me. I can go"
"Not like this you can't" she said getting up."It's ok...Don't worry about it. Want some juice?"
"Yes please....Babe now I feel really bad...this isn't fair on you at all"
"Hey, life isn't fair get used to it" she looked at her cheeky putting a juice on the table and sat back on the floor
"Oi!..." she giggled
"It's fine Yaz...Mmmm...I arranged for my leasing company to bring the new car tomorrow afternoon"
"Oh waaw...so what did you choose in the end?"
"I'll show you" she got up exited and brought a little booklet from her study "This one" she pointed
"Isn't that the same as what you already have?"
"Nooo...the engine is much better, a lot more powerful than what we have now...And it has some other special features as well...much better for all the trips we are taking"
"Cool...it still looks like a spaceship" she giggled
looking at the photos
"Neah...not like spaceship Yaz...way too small"
"I would pay money to see your ship" she said putting the booklet back on the desk
"Don't be silly Yaz..."
"I fucking would...I'm marring you and I still haven't seen it...shameful really you're keeping this away from me and sleeping with me" she looked at her cheeky and giggled then went back to her food
"And then what? Say you do Yaz...see it?" she left her fork on a table..."What then?"
"I dunno...Why you keep it such a secret? Not like I'm gonna tell anyone am I...Not that anyone would believe me anyway"
Clara sat on the floor looking at her for few minutes. Yaz was eating her dinner and they both fell silent for a while. Then Clara got up and grabbed the tray from Yaz's lap.
"Oi...I haven't finished"
"C'mere" she moved the blanket off her "Put your arms around me"
"What are you doing" she reached around her shoulders and Clara picked her up in her arms
"You'll see..." she smiled and carried her towards the kitchen
"What are you doing silly?"
"Patients Yaz..." she kissed her cheek
"Why are we going to the garden?...Clara wtf?"
"Do you ever stop talking Yaz?" she laughed and carried her outside then stopped in front of her little blue box
"Why are we looking at your shed?"
"I need some help here" Clara said
"Whaaa?" Yaz looked at her confused and the door opened up
"WTF?...Clara? What's going on? How did that door open and why are we going into your shed?" She kept talking and looking at her as Clara booted the door of the Tardis and walked inside the dark space.
"Turn around Yaz" she smiled and Yaz turned her head. Tardis lights came up and she hummed the welcome to her "I know exiting, right? I finally brought her...She's been dying to see you Yaz...kept pestering me all the time"
"Ha?...Whaaaa?.." she shook her head and looked at Clara wordlessly with her mouth half open and her eyes like saucers
"This is my Tardis love" she said happily
"Clara...whaaa...I'm confused...I..." she looked as Clara carried her pass the console and her eyes were aimlessly wondering around the space as all the lights came up
Tardis hummed again and turned lights pink. Clara put her on the steps and kneeled infront of her "I guess it was time for me to stop hiding her from you" she took her hands but Yaz didn't even register. She was still looking around and up and over her shoulders completely speechless.
"How? How Clara...it's shed?"
"I know...still is from the outside"
"How? How is this even existing?" she said looking around and trying to make sense of it all
"Dimensional engendering Yaz...bigger on the inside"
"The whaaa?" she looked at her confused "How can you even...this is huge...and it's all in that box? We are still inside that box right?"
"Yes Yaz we are" she giggled
"How big is this place?" Yaz looked up at the ceiling
"Big Yaz" she smiled and reached her hand cupping her cheek "Look at me Yaz"
"Baby? It's spaceship..." she looked at her still completely shocked
"I know and a time ship... go figure ha?" she smiled... I was going to show you I really was" she brushed her thumb over her cheek "I was just waiting for the right time"
"This amazing...this is....this is crazy and brilliant and amazing...Just like you" she looked at her with tears in her eyes and stroke her face gently "And it's been here all this time...It all makes sense now...all of it...Why you love it so much and why you're so glued to it...But never in million years did I ever think...It did pop into my mind but I thought what a stupid thought how can that be a ship..."
"I know right?" she grinned
"This is crazy Clara...Thank you baby" she stroke her face
"Don't say that...You belong here baby...With me..
thank you, for being so so amazing and so patient with me...I really love you Yasmin..." she rubbed her cheek
"C'mere you silly woman" Yaz pulled her in and kissed her gently and Tardis hummed again "You never needed that key did you?" she smiled into her lips
"No I didn't" she scrunched her nose "Sorry about that"
"So can I see more?"
"C'mere...hold on to me" she lifted her up on her feet and helped to the the console helping her to stand
"OMG...blimey Clara...look at this"
"Pretty isn't she?" Clara said proudly "This the console...the scanner, the monitor, thrusters, medical equipment...it's where you shots come from Yaz" she smiled "the lever...oh look" she pushed the peddle and the cookie came out she gave it to Yaz "There's a lot more..." she looked at Yaz eagerly wanting for her reaction
Yas shook her head smiling "She's beautiful...stunning...bloody amazing" Yaz glided her hand over the console. She felt vibrations underneath her fingers little small tingling sensation and the humming felt like it was going through her soul. It was the most amazing feeling she ever experienced in her life. She felt like she never wanted to leave this place.
"I can feel it" she turned to Clara smiling
"And how does it feel baby?"
"Like nothing I ever felt in my life...I can feel the vibration and this sound she's making it's like it speaks to my soul...like it's..."
"Talking to you?" Clara said
"Yeah...that's just crazy" she was tiered and she slumped a bit grabbing for Clara's waist "And you know what else is crazy...I thought your ship is parked in some garage or a warehouse your renting somewhere" she giggled "I never thought it was all this time in a back garden...Why does it look like a police box?"
"Oh that...Chameleon circlet broke a long time ago...then I got attached to the look"
"You're so silly" she smiled "It's so you"
"Come on darling...I know you're exited now but you are struggling and shivering...there's gonna be time for this...let's get you back in a house" she picked her up and and headed for the door.
"I just wanna stay here" she slumped her head on Clara's shoulder as she carried her outside "It's so beautiful
"I know you do...but you're not feeling ok darling"
Yaz still didn't want to go. She suddenly felt so sad and emotional like she was going to cry and felt so stupid about it. But she was tired and in pain, the fever was shaking her inside, so she knew Clara was right.
Yaz fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, but Clara was still awake pressed against her back. She slipped her hand into her pajama bottoms, resting her hand on Yaz's tummy and burying her face in her neck. She was trying to sleep, but she couldn't. As excited as she was to take Yaz into the Tardis, she was also worried and scared. But for once she knew it was the right thing to do. If there was a place in the universe where Yaz belonged, it was inside the Tardis with her. It was their home more than any place in the entire world, though Yaz didn't know it yet. It was their past present and, hopefully, if she was lucky enough, their future, one day in some form. Although at the moment she wasn't sure in what form she even wanted it. There was a whole life inside it that was frozen in time, left as it was 57 years ago waiting for Yaz to return. Waiting for the Doctor to finally have her by her side again. And yet, after all these years of searching for answers, she found herself waiting for Yaz to die rather than take her home where she belonged. The hunting reality she found herself in, wondering if she had wasted all those years looking for answers, looking for a solution. But now there finally seemed to be a light at the end of her dark tunnel. It finally felt like she might...just might get it right. She thought about going to the Tardis and doing the tests, working all night as usual, but she needed to feel her against herself a little bit longer before she got up and snuck out like she did most nights, then went back to bed to have a few hours of sleep.. She had to feel her breathing on her skin and the warmth of her body on hers. The smell of her hair and the softness of her skin against her lips. That was the only thing that kept her going. And there were days when she felt that the only thing she wanted was to sleep. It's like her body was desperately craving for it, but then she'd feel guilty about sleeping because that's time she could have spent at the console looking for a solution. She was there so close she could smell it in the air...feel it and almost touch it. But there was still so much more to do. So many questions she still didn't have answers to. At least now she didn't have to hide anymore and being able to tell her where she was felt as liberating as if a ton of weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She didn't want to fall asleep but eventually tired and exhausted, her body gave way and she fell asleep snuggled against Yaz with her lips pressed to the back of her neck and her hand on her stomach feeling every breath she took.
….
It was early morning and Clara was getting dressed for work. She looked through the window whilst putting her shirt on. She didn't feel like leaving, all she wanted was to stay home next to Yaz. But it was Friday and they had whole weekend together and it was a thought that made her happy. She clipped her braces onto her black trousers and brushed her hair. And for the first time in many years the reflection she saw in a mirror was smiling just a little. She rushed downstairs and into the kitchen. The kettle just boiled the water for tea and she made some butter and jam crumpets for Yaz putting everything on little tray and taking it to the living room just like she did every morning since her leg was injured.
"Yaz darling" she brushed her finger over her cheek "Wake up baby...I need to take you downstairs"
"Mmmmmm" Yaz turned around sleepy and rubbed her face "It's ok I'll get down with churches baby"
"No you won't darling. I'm not risking you falling down does stairs...come on...up you go...now the downstairs toilet is fixed you have everything you need down there untill I come back" she moved the duvet
"I need to pee" Yaz said sitting on the bed half asleep
"Alright baby...I'm coming back soon I only have one lecture today...So I won't be long" she said waiting for her to finish
She took her downstairs to the sofa and left. It was still very early as she had some work in her office before the lecture and the drive to her work was relatively easy and relaxing. The university wasn't far from where they lived only ten minutes drive unless she got stuck in a traffic. She parked the car in front of the university and heard the message ping on her phone. It was from Yaz.
Sometimes I just look at you and I think to myself how did I ever get so lucky? I will never know. But please know that I am thankful for you every singe day of my life. And I can't even express in words...but just know that I love you
She gulped and took a big breath trying to hold back her tears and wrote the message back
Meeting you was one of the best times of my lives. You made me fall in love with you without even trying. I'm far from perfect, I'll annoy you, piss you off and say stupid things. But I promise you I'll love you more than anyone in this world forever.
She had this urge to turn the car and go back home. But she had to get to work.
…
Yaz listened this time and stayed on the sofa for most of the day, but last night had her so exited she couldn't help it and picked up her churches hoping for the Tardis. She stood outside still looking at the blue box in utter shock. It all still seemed so unreal to her. How could the entire universe be in that box and how it was right in front of her nose the whole time. She remembered the beautiful hum and tingling under her fingertips. She desperately wanted to see him again, but even if the door was open, she would never go inside on her own. She looked up at the small swallow's nest above the door and smiled because now what Clara said made sense. It would be complicated if she ever decided to use it, she thought. She reached out and ran her fingertips over the metal plate and placed her hand on the old wood. Inside, the lights came on, which made her smile.
"Can you feel me? Do you know I'm here?" she said looking up at the windows "You're really amazing" she said smiling and pressed her ear on the door trying to hear the humming but she couldn't "I need to go...my leg still hurts...take care of the birds for me will ya?...See ya later" she waived and hoped back towards the conservatory door
"Why am I talking to the ship?" she shook her head as she walked inside then put the kettle on
She heard a car outside in the driveway and not a minute later the door opening.
"Hiya!" Clara said happily as she walked through the door
"Hi babe...I'm in a kitchen"
"Aaaa good...not ironing today" she smiled and left her keys on the kitchen top then came up behind her and kissed her
"No...I was a good girl today" Yaz giggles into her lips "Tea?"
"Yes please...but let me do it, you should be lying down" Clara stroke the side of her hip "How are feeling today darling?"
"Better...no fever"
Clara reached into the cupboard and pulled out a cup then zoomed around her with sonic "No temperature...good. I need to give you an injection" she opened the kitchen drawer and took out a small vial inserting it into the application gun
"I hate those things," Yaz said in anticipation of what was to come, moving her hair and craning her neck
"I know I'm sorry" she said giving her the shot then kissed her temple like she always would afterwards "Come on let's get to the living room, I'll bring the tea"
"My leg is killing me. It really hurts...how long is this going to last?"
Clara pressed her against her chest and stroke her hair "I know darling, I'm so so sorry" she kissed the top of her head "C'mere...let's get you to the sofa" she picked her up from the floor "It takes about five to six weeks to heal...But you're doing fine Yaz...it may be sooner"
"You don't need to carry me around all the time I do have churches" she giggled
"Maybe I just want to Yaz and this is my perfect excuse. Besides this is all my fault so I'm just making up for it"
"You silly sod..." she giggled as she popped her on a sofa
"Car should be here soon"
"Oh don't forget to take my jacket out the back"
"I already did...took everything out it's in the hallway" she yelled from the kitchen
"I'm so exited to see it"
"Me too Yaz...it's nice" she came back with the tea and put it on the table
"Lie down Yaz you need to keep the leg up" she stacked up the cushions then sat down so Yaz can lean on her and put her leg up
"This is nice" Yaz took her hand and wrapped it around herself snuggling "I missed you"
"I missed you too" Clara kissed her head "I couldn't wait to come home...they tortured me today with paperwork...I hate paperwork Yaz...I aslo hate being told what to do" she grinned
"But you love your lectures"
"Yes I do...I always have"
"Have you worked as a professor before?"
"Yes many times. I would take brakes here and there and just lecture for a while. It's nice to blend in sometimes...pretend I'm a human" she smiled stroking Yaz's hair
"Do you wish that you are?"
"Good question Yaz...Yes and no. I hate regenerating...so I hate changing my face. Being someone else all the time, I wish it was different, so when it comes down to it, yes, I wish I was. You have to be who you are, the same person all your life. But if I were Yaz, I'd be dead a long time ago, and I really like being alive," she laughed, "Considering how many times I've regenerated...that wouldn't be good. I also admire people in many ways" she said quietly and tightened her arm around Yaz. "Your lives are so short and yet you find all this, love and happiness and passion and sorrow and the strength to carry on knowing that life will leave you one day and live those you love. I find it incredible...It takes courage to do that"
"You like it here don't you?"
"I do Yaz. Earth was always my other home...It's beautiful...now even more when I have you" she smiled at her gently
Yaz looked at her lovingly and reached her hand up to her head, pulling her in for a gentle kiss "It is for me now that I have you" she said softly and then lowered herself laying her head on Clara's lap enjoying her fingers playing with her hair. They fell silent for a while. And just lying on the sofa feeling Clara's hand gently trail down her stomach lulled her to sleep. She woke up an hour later to the sound of the TV and Clara calling her name.
"Hey wake up darling...car is here I need to move you"
"Oh sorry...I fell asleep" she sat up groggy
"It's fine Yaz. Stay here...I'll be back in a minute"
Clara ran out of the house, and Yaz lay down on the sofa. She realized that Clara must have been watching Netflix while she slept. The injection she gave her made her sleepy every time. She heard voices outside and Clara laughing. She couldn't make out what they were saying. Then the car pulls away and the door opens
"Hey...wanna have a look?" Clara stood in the middle of the living room exited
"Of course I do"
She helped her up and they walked together outside.
"Waaaw...that's shiny"
"I know...beautiful isn't it?"
"It's bigger"
"It is bigger...and we have a bigger booth as well...look" she opened it up exited "It can fit all ten of our suitcases Yaz" she laughed "and some more...I can fit a Dalek inside this one"
"Dalek?"
"Forget I said that..." she frowned and waved her hand, then closed the booth
"OMG...you have a whole TV in here "Yaz peaked inside looking at the display "And it's all shining"
"When you feel better you can take it for a spin Yaz"
"Oooh no, no, no...I am not going anywhere near this thing...All yours babe...I have my little ladybug and I'm quite happy with it" she giggled
"Wanna go for a ride?" she said happily
"Really? Can we?"
"Cause we can Yaz...come on...hop on in" she helped her in and threw the crutches in the back seat then ran to close the house and then pointed her sonic activating the shield just in case.
"So...where to my beautiful lady?" she smiled sitting at the wheel
"Dunno...have any ideas?"
"Mmmm ....actually I do Yaz ...buckle up..."
They were on their way somewhere, Yaz had no idea where she was taking them. But the ride was nice and relaxing. Clara rested her hand on Yaz's leg as she always did while driving and turned around from time to time smiling at her.
"Like it?" she asked
"Love it...I can see you're enjoying in it"
"I am...I love this car...I've been waiting for it for a while. Starting to get impatient"
"Do you miss your ship?"
"Oh I do Yaz" she turned to her for a moment "Tardis would take only a minute..." she pursed her lips and gripped the wheel "But...It is what it is Yaz...just safer this way...that's all"
Yaz didn't know what she meant by that. But she didn't want to spoil her moment seeing how happy she was about the car.
"I love all the lights" she said
"Oh oh...and this as well" she pressed the button and music started playing "It's really loud" she yelled making Yaz laugh
"It is babe..." she yelled back laughing at her
They went all the way to the outskirts and were about an hour's drive when Clara turned off the main road
"Babe...where are we?"
"Bamford" she said
"What are we doing in Bamford?"
"We're gonna have a nice time Yaz" she turned around smiling "It's Friday...I thought we could stay over night"
"Whaaa? We have no stuff!...You just scooped me up from the sofa look at the state of me girl"
"I know..." she laughed cheeky turning the car into Yorkshire Bridge Inn "Oh come on butterfly...relax" she giggled and ran her finger playfully over Yaz's bottom lip
Yaz couldn't believe it. She was in her tracksuit. Her hair was all messy from sleeping and she thought she looked a right state unlike Clara who was all nicely dressed in her black trousers and a white shirt looking as if she had just stepped out of a business meeting. Clara parked the car and got out, then opened the booth and closed it again before coming to get Yaz
"What's that?" Yaz pointed to the travel bag in her hand
"Our stuff my silly little butterfly" she grinned
"You packed us?"
"Yap"
"When?...And where was that bag?"
I did it this morning Yaz when you were sleeping... " she helped her out of the car "It was in our old car all this time"
"You planned this?"
"Aha!" She nodded happy "I knew you'd go...I thought it be nice since I cancelled Oxford...just for one night Yaz"
"You silly woman..." she shook her head laughing
"Come on let's get to the room and you can change. I picked something nice for you"
It was a nice little place with a bunch of flowers out front and a big conservatory where the restaurant was located. They went to their room and Clara unpacked their bag. Yaz changed into the nice bottoms and top that Clara had packed for her. She chose a nice cotton pair that was loose and comfortable and didn't hurt her leg.
Yaz was sitting on a chair and Clara was braiding her hair. She needed help because it was impossible for her to stand on her painful leg in front of the bathroom mirror and do it herself. But Clara strangely enjoyed doing it for her. Something Yaz didn't really expect her to even know how to do, let alone enjoy. As beautiful and elegant as she was, Clara wasn't into make-up or anything girly and hated straightening her hair and was always messing around that shaving and flat irons were the pinnacle of her feminine side. But Yaz always thought how Clara was stunning without make-up anyway and couldn't even imagine her wearing any either. It was the braces that she couldn't live without. Yaz was obsessed with them from the moment she met her. It was Clara's staple and Yaz loved them so much that she would also buy her new pair whenever she got the chance, which always made Clara happy no matter how many pairs she owned, and she had a lot of them, matching almost any outfit she wore.
"Here we go...you're all done" Clara said finishing her hair
Yaz pulled her hand to get down next to her "Thank you for this baby" she gently caressed her face and tucked her hair behind her ear
"No need to say thank you Yaz I already told this so many times"
"I know you have..." she brushed her thumb over her cheek gently "But I always will anyway"
Yaz kissed her slow and gentle stroking the back of her neck and tangling her fingers through her hair.
"Come on...let's go" Clara smiled rubbing her nose over hers "You look very lovely"
"You look stunning as always and iff we don't leave now I won't wanna leave"
"Yeah...me neither..." she laughed
They had dinner and then Clara took her to see the nearby waterfalls. She parked her car on the side of the country road near the local bridge. It was already evening and the sun was slowly setting. But they had just enough time to enjoy themselves briefly. It was a short trip and not far from where they lived. But Yaz enjoyed every minute of it.
"It's so pretty...I wish I could go down by the water" Yaz said looking over the edge of the bridge at the beautiful waterfalls. Clara stood behind her and wrapped her arms around her
"It's so close where we live Yaz, we can come here any time when you get better" she said pressing her cheek against Yaz's
"I'd like that...it's nice here. So peaceful"
"Let's go slowly" she kissed her cheek "I need to give you your shot and you need to rest your leg"
"I know...it's starting to hurt again"
"I know lovely. Come on...let's go"
As much as she enjoyed it, Yaz was in pain when they got back to the hotel, so Clara gave her another shot. She didn't even know how many she had received so far or what they were But it was making her leg better slowly and a lot less sore. The bruises were slowly disappearing, and the swelling was much smaller. She was lying in bed waiting for Clara to take a shower and was just checking her phone and texting her mom and sister and sending them the photos she took that day. Their room was nice and cozy and reminded Yaz of old cottages with all the wooden furniture. Clara even packed the set of candles which made Yaz laugh so they lid them up to make it more romantic. She even packed her custard crème cookies and some chocolates for Yaz. But she forgot Yaz's hair brush and toothbrushes so they had to stop at the local store on the way to get them.
"Babe, are we staying here tomorrow or are we going home in the morning?" Yaz asked as Clara came out of the bathroom and rummaged through their bag for clean pair of nickers.
"Mmm...I thought we stay till after lunch...I do have some work to do over the weekend so we have to get back" she turned around scrunching her face "I'm so sorry lovely It's really important I do that"
"Nooo...don't be silly. I'm just asking. Do you mind if I meet up with Sonya then whilst you work? She can pick me up"
"Of course not silly...go...my head will be into my work anyway for most of the evening"
"Dad is asking if you want him to send some food?" she said still typing with her family
Clara just looked her with a massive grin on her face
"I see that's a YES then" she giggled "He's also asking if you could look at his car when you have time. It's making some noise"
"Yes, of course" she said crawling into bed and lifting Yaz's top kissing her belly in the process "Tell him to come on Sunday"
"Right...t's all settled" she said putting the phone down on the side table "I'm yours now" she giggled ruffling her hair. Clara laid her head on her stomach "Sonya is picking me up tomorrow at seven. We're just going to get some cheap food locally"
"That's nice" she kissed her tummy again and then began to blow air into her skin making her laugh
"Aaaaaa that tickles" Yaz laughed trying to push her head away
"You're soft" Clara rubbed her face into her her tummy smiling
"I'm gonna get even softer with all the chocolates you've been feeding me with and all I do is sit around"
"So?" Clara looked at her confused
"Just saying" Yaz smiled softly playing with her hair "Thank you for this...this is really nice"
"I knew you're gonna like it"
"Darling"
"Mmmm?" Clara mumbled shoving her face onto her skin in such silly way that Yaz laughed
"I was talking to Sonya about something and I was gonna speak to you about it"
"I'm all ears Yaz... well not all... I have other parts too but they're totally focused on what you're going to say.... Did you know there's this species I met once and their hearing is so strong they can hear the birds flying in the sky...oh sorry...I'm going off on one...tell me Yaz"
"Well you know Sonya is all into make-up"
"Mmmm?"
"And I'm not...well not like her anyway. But several months ago she started this organic brand of makeup that is done using some traditional recipes from Pakistan and it's doing really well"
"Aaaa that's nice for her...she did mention that to me quite few times...but you know me and makeup Yaz"
"Well she asked me if I wanna do it with her"
"Really?" Clara jumped and sat on the bed "And and and.."
"Slow down silly..." she giggled
"So you're leaving that stupid shop?"
"Well it would mean I would work from home yes"
"Yes...yes ...yes..." she started kissing her whole face exited
"OMFG you're really happy about this aren't you?"
"I am Yaz I hated you going to that store...you know I told you million times I just wish you were home"
"I know you just wanna be my sugar mummy desperately" she giggled
"I still don't know what you mean by that Yaz...but we can sort out a nice office for you. I can get one more desk in my study...that would be nice"
"It would be, honey," she laughed at her absolute excitement. Clara couldn't wipe that big smile off her face as happy as she was at the idea "Okay, well I'll say yes to her tomorrow then"
"Goodie...Clara jumped on her dotting kisses all over her face
"Aaaa...my leg silly"
"Oh sorry...sorry...sorry...I forgot darling" she went down and kissed her knee gently "Sorry"
"C'mere my silly dork" Yaz spread her arms and Clara flew into her wrapping her arms around her "I really love you...so much" she tucked her hair behind her ears which was curly from the hot shower and just looked at her autumn eyes running her thumbs over her cheeks "God you're so beautiful" she whispered and Clara made a little funny face and then brought her lips to hers. So close they could feel each other's breath
"I adore you Yasmin" she said and took her lips slowly deepening kiss. She wanted to melt into Yaz to become a permanent part of her. One kiss following another in an endless chain, each stronger and more passionate than the last. She tangled her fingers in Yaz's hair, palming the nape of her neck and sliding her hand under the top, running her fingers over the soft silky breast. She could never get enough of her. And it seemed as if every day she loved and wanted her more and more, which she didn't know was even possible because she already loved her with every cell of her being.
Yaz moaned into her mouth and began to pull the top over her head tossing it to the side.
"Off.. take it off" she said almost desperately as Clara's hand moved back under her pajamas. "Take it all off," she said so desperately that Clara laughed and sat on the bed pulling her top off then pressed her lips over her breast
"Oh god baby" Yaz gasped and brushed her fingers through her hair. Her back arching with every kiss of Clara's lips trailing all over her. She sat up again and pulled her pajamas off gently leaving her bare to her eyes.
Clara's expression would always amaze Yaz. She would always stop for few seconds looking at her like the most beautiful scenery. Her eyes filled with so much love and admission Yaz never thought another person would ever be looking at her in this way. She trailed her knuckles in slow circles over her stomach then brushed her hand over her mound. Yaz's eyes slammed shut and lips captured hers again in a passionate kiss that trailed from her lips slowly and gently down her body sending shock waives through her spine. She ran her hand down Clara's shoulders. Her skin slowly grew warmer underneath her fingers that trailed down to the curve of her waist as she ascended down her body and Yaz couldn't reach her anymore.
"Does it hurt?" she asked moving her aching leg kissing the inside of it gently
"I don't care" Yaz replied abruptly which made Clara laugh like crazy. She buried her face into her skin and chuckled
"Yaaaz blimey" she said continuing to trail kisses over her skin
Yaz closed her eyes, quite moans trailed of her lips as Clara made a home for herself between her thighs.. She reached for her hand and intertwined their fingers, letting herself fall endlessly into the abyss of passion and desire for her beautiful lover. Heat flooded her face and her body clenched around her. She was breaking into a million pieces without knowing where she had stopped and Clara began, tugging at the sheets clutching them in her hand until her body went limp and shuddered. They fell silent, Clara's head resting on her stomach, kissing her hot skin every now and then. Yaz lazily played with her hair and looked at her with her eyes still half open.
"C'mere" she tugged her hand "Kiss me love" she smiled
And she did kiss her, she kissed her like tomorrow doesn't exist, like all they have is this moment in time. She kissed her slow and passionate driving air out of her lounges.
"I want you" Yaz said into her lips
"You're in pain Yaz" Clara kissed the pip of her nose moving strains of hair from her face gently and gazing into her eyes as if she was trying to read her soul.
"My leg hurts not my mouth" she giggled "Please baby...I need to feel you...I miss you" she stroke her face gently "pleeease" she begged kissing her again and again pulling her towards herself "I need you" she said again placing her hand on Clara's hip pulling her until she stopped resisting her and let herself be guided to her lips. Hands grabbing the wooden headboard she sank herself on her soft lips and shivered when her hot breath hit her skin closing her eyes. She missed feeling her more than she was even aware, until she felt her seal herself on her. Yaz's fingers were digging into her hips and trailing down her lower back. She rocked her hips dragging herself over her lips slowly, her knuckles white as she held the hard wood of the headboard supporting her own weight, her hair falling framing her face as she craned her neck and opened her eyes for a moment looking down, then dropped one hand and ran her fingers through Yaz's hair . A silent moan left her mouth and her eyes closed as she felt her so deep inside herself that she wanted to scream into the air.
"Stars I love you" she said breathless as her whole body trembled and she grabbed the the headboard again rocking her hips shuddering.
She fell silent for a moment, craning her neck and running her fingers through Yaz's hair smiling dazed to her.
Yaz kissed the inside of her trembling legs "Love ya" she giggled
"Oh Yaz" she laid down next to her still trying to catch her breath and cupped her face kissing her "You pulled me apart" she smiled into her lips "I really missed you"
"I missed you too" Yaz said gazing at her lovingly
"I'm hungry now" she said spreading herself like a pancake on the bed
"You got your cookies" Yaz giggled
"Aaaa...Yes so I do" she got up and started digging through the bag untill she found them "Want some?"
"I want my chocolate..." Yaz rolled herself on her tummy and wiggled like a caterpillar to the edge of the bed "give give" she reached out giggling
"Careful Yaz...you're gonna hut your leg. Just because it doesn't hurt now it doesn't mean you can jump around. It's just painkillers....I need a shower" she said sitting on the floor and wrapping herself in a sheet
"We both need a shower but I'm knackered"
Clara looked at her cheeky, her bottom lip catching behind her teeth smiling. She was melting Yaz's heart how cute and happy she looked.
"You're so fucking cute, you know that? Yaz said propping herself on her elbows enjoying in her chocolate.
"Neah ...you're the cute one butterfly" she leaned over and kissed her quickly then took one more cookie wasting through the bag in less then 10 minutes
"Come on butterfly" she got up all shining haply "Let's take a shower" she reached out for her dragging her across the bed
"You're really into calling me butterfly aren't you?" she giggled
"Yap.." she giggled helping her up "You're my cute little butterfly Yaz"
"And you're my beautiful goofy ball of sunshine that I couldn't live without" she kissed her cheek and Clara messed around puffing her cheeks with air and making funny faces all the way to the bathroom
...
Here is little peak at Clara
Chapter 28
It was Saturday evening and Sonya was on her way to pick up her sister. Yaz hurried to get ready, doing her best to do as much as possible on her own without asking Clara for help. She had been downstairs in her study since they got back and she really felt bad for calling all the time. Finding comfortable clothes that didn't constrain her leg was getting harder and harder. Most of her trousers were tight, and any more comfortable ones she had were not something she wanted to wear outside the house. On the other hand, Clara's trousers were baggy and comfortable and she had given her a nice pair of black once for tonight, but Yaz felt absolutely stupid looking at herself in the mirror wearing them. She wondered how the same piece of clothing could look so sexy on Clara that it made her brain foggy, yet she felt almost comical looking at herself in the mirror. She buttoned up her shirt and put a few more bits into the bag, then slung it across her shoulders so she could freely use her crutches.
"Claraaaa!" she yelled from the bedroom "I'm done babe"
"Coming"
She herd a car pulling up the driveway and was happy she got ready in time.
"Oh waaaw look at you" Clara smiled from the door "You look lovely"
"I look silly" she rolled her eyes
"No you don't...you look really nice Yaz. Different but it really suits you"
Yaz reached for her shoulders and Clara lifted her off the bed carrying her into the living room and then opened the door for Sonya.
"Hiya" Clara smiled
"Hey big sis" Sonya hugged her from the door "I'm so sorry you can't come"
"I know...I'm sorry...next time...I promise. Except you two have to catch up on all the gossip" she winked.
"Heeey babe" Sonya hugged her sister "How you're doing honey?"
"Could be better" she giggled
"You look nice...what's with the style change?"
"Oh...Clara.." she laughed "leg immobilizer don't fit into my trousers"
"Well...look at it this way...eventually we all rub off on each other" she laughed
"Here lovely" Clara came in with her crutches and helped her up
"It's fine babe...I can handle it from here. Don't worry about it"
"Oh...shoot...I almost forgot...Wait Yaz" Clara ran into the kitchen and came back with injection
"God I hate those"
"I know, but it will help with the pain I want you to have a nice time" she kissed her temple "You're done...ready to go"
"Thanks babe"
"See ya" Sonya waived from the door
"Have a nice time" Clara waived smiling then pouted her lips when they left turning on her heel. She was disappointed she couldn't join them but the work was way more important at this time.
….
"What the hell were you two doing in Bamford last night?" Sonya asked as she got onto a main road
"We just went for one night"
"You went for a shag all the way to another town?" Sonya turned around giggling
"Sooonya!!!...We did not go just for a shag" Yaz rolled her eyes
"Oh yeah!...What else did you do then?" she glanced at her lifting her eyebrow
"We went to see the waterfalls"
"Aaaand?"
"That's it" Yaz frowned
Sonya burst out laughing "Exactly...so you went for a shag"
"Shut up!!" she giggled
"I must say, she's got style" Sonya smirked "Oh talking about style...I got you something...look at the back"
Yaz reached for the bag on the back seat and opened it "Noo way...you got me blue extension!"
"Yap...saw them yesterday...you said Clara is now braiding your hair...so she can do it for you"
"That's awesome babe...thanks for that" she leaned in and kissed her cheek
"How much do I owe you?"
"Don't be stupid Yaz...it's a present...Let me enjoy in a fact that I can actually buy you one for the first time in my life"
"Thank youuuu!"
"Can't wait to see what they look like"
….
Clara sat at her desk looking at the numerous test results she had taken trying to find something. She read it a thousand times and still didn't know what she was doing wrong. Something was missing, but she had no idea what. She threw the papers on the table with a big sigh and sat back in her chair looking at the time, 8pm on her wristwatch and she pursed her lips as she turned her chair towards the window. It had only been an hour since Yaz had left, and she already missed her. But at the same time she still had so much to do. The second set of tests was already in the Tardis and she was anxiously awaiting the results. She got up and went to put the kettle on, then walked over to the Tardis
"Hey" she peeked in smiling and the Tardis hummed "Oh well then...Yeah I know I ask every ten minutes" she walked in "You would too...and don't tell me you wouldn't" she picked up glance, then casually walked around the console peeking just in case
The Tardis hummed again changing the lights to pink "Of course I'll bring her back...now she knows about you, you'll see her all the time" she ran her hand over the console. Then she approached the lever, running her fingertips over the metal bar, and shook her head. "Okay… I'll leave you to it," she said and walked out.
….
Yaz drank some wine and leaned back in his chair. She drank the second glass and felt a little tipsy, but she hadn't done that in a while and she was having a great time with her sister.
"Sooo...I spoke with Clara" Yaz smiled
"Aaaand?"
"We're in business babe" she laughed
"OMG!!" Sonya jumped across the table hugging her
"I know...right...I'm so exited...Well, let's hope we don't kill each other" she giggled
"I'll just fucking sack you before we do" Sonya laughed
"Thanks sis...Good to know in advance...I told you she's gonna be chuffed about it. I just didn't want to make a decision without her...I wanted to talk about it and include her"
"I understand that"
"I already knew what the answer's gonna be. I didn't know she'll freak out about so much though" she laughed "She's been badgering me forever to leave my job. I wanted to...but I also want my own money you know"
"I know babe...and you should...I don't care how much money my man makes I wanna have my own. So I totally get you...last thing you want is having to ask someone to buy you tampax"
"Exactly"
"How's that leg of yours? I still can't believe you mullered yourself"
"I know...It's really painful. But it is getting there...I'm gonna go to some physical therapy like an old lady" she giggled
"It's not funny Yaz...you wanna be on crutches for your wedding or have a fucked up leg for the rest of your life?"
"No of course I don't...I'm just fucked off with being ill the whole year...I'm starting to annoy myself. I mean Clara has some serious patience I'll tell you...all she's doing is dragging me around like a dead waight since we've met"
"She loves you Yaz...wouldn't you do it for her?"
"Yeeees...of course I would!!! My god"
"Well then...she cares about you...get over it"
"You know I'm not used to it Sonya" she leaned back on the table and swirled the glass in her hand looking down "There are times when I wake up at night and I still can't believe someone is next to me. I almost feel like I'll never get used to that...you know...that someone really loves me that much"
"I know..." Sonya leaned over and put her hand on her wrist "Start getting used to it girl...you're getting married...that's it...you found what you were looking for...Lucky cow"
Yaz looked up to her and smiled "I am...aren't I?"
"Yes you fucking are!...So shut up because I'm jealous anyway"
Yaz laughed "I'm dizzy"
"You only had two glasses. It must be your meds"
"I don't wanna come home drunk" she giggled
"You might" Sonya laughed
…
Clara looked at her watch and jumped off her chair, rushing towards the Tardis. "Is it done?" she peaked through the door and Tardis hummed "Aaaaaa...Goodie" she smiled and hoped for the console
"Whaaat?...That can't be right...if this is right...no I can't, I don't want to be exited" she shook her head and ran to the other screen "This can't be right" Tardis hummed "I didn't say you made a mistake...I must've made it"
Tardis hummed again "Are you absolutely sure about this?...Idris?" She looked up "I have to be sure...please redo the tests"
She herd the car pulling up at the driveway "Pleaseeee...Even if it takes hours, I need to be sure. I have to go now" she ran to the door "Love ya...thanks for that" she smiled and ran through the house to the driveway
"Hey baby" Yaz smiled opening the car door
"Wait Yaz" she ran up to the car
"Heeey" Sonya waived getting out
"Had a nice time?" Clara asked helping Yaz to get out
"We have...you really need to go next time" Sonya said
"I promise"
"Your wife is a bit tipsy by the way" she laughed
"Really? " Clara laughed looking at Yaz who nodded smiling as she was ready get out
"Sorry baby...just a little bit" she was flapping her lashes
Clara laughed shaking her head "Can you walk?"
"Sure...I'm not that drunk...just a bit dizzy"
"Fine… come on," she grabbed the crutches and put them to the side, then put Yaz's arms around her neck lifting her up "I don't want you to fall"
"OMG!" Sonya jumped up "WTF girl...let me help you" she ran around the car
"Just take her churches please Sonya"
"Yeah sure...how the hell do you carry her like that?" Sonya ran after her to the house
"Thanks for that" Clara smiled as she put Yaz on a sofa
"No problem...Fuck girl...where do you hide those muscles?" she shook her head in disbelief "Right...I'm off" she kissed Yaz's cheek "Niight babe"
"Night sis" Yaz smiled and slumped herself on a a pillow as soon as she left
"Hey drunk" Clara laughed coming back to the living room
"Hey sexy" she waived haply "I'm so tiered...I can't keep my eyes open"
Clara laughed shaking her head "Wanna go to bed or you want some tea?"
"Bed...pleaseeee" she reached out with both hands twards her
Clara chuckled "Alright tipsy butterfly...bed it is"
"Did you eat?" Yaz asked as she put her on the bed
"Yes" Clara said and walked to the window closing the curtains
"Lier!" Yaz said "You didn't eat anything did you?" she said taking her shirt and a bra off
"I have Yaz...I swear" she said picking up her clothes and putting them on a side
"I know when you lie because your ears go red" she smiled and lied down so Clara can help her with her trousers then sat up again lifting Clara's oversized top blowing air into her stomach.
"Aaaaa...tickles" she laughed and Yaz wrapped her hands around her kissing her stomach "Please eat something" she looked up at her leaning on her stomach
"I will...I just had a lot to do" she said stroking her head
….
Yaz woke up in the middle of the night. Duvet slipped off them both and she was cold as relatively fresh air of the room hit her bare skin. Clara was wrapped up around her and Yaz used her hip to rest her leg instead of a pillow. She reached out for the duvet and pulled it over them. Then wrapped her arms around Clara's shoulders. She felt her shallow breathing into her neck and her hearts beating against her chest then smiled when Clara snuggled more into.
"Mwha?" she mumbled into her neck
"Nothing babe...sleep"
"Mmmm"
Yaz smiled then closed her eyes again.
…
It was early morning, and Yaz was still half asleep dragging herself through the kitchen making breakfast. Her leg felt better this morning for the first time in two weeks she woke up without pain. She clicked the kettle and popped crumpets into the toaster then pulled the blind up so she can look through the window into the garden and the blue box.
"Morning," she smiled and thought she was being silly because even if Clara's ship could hear her, it probably couldn't when she was in the kitchen, but then the lights came on and Yaz almost dropped the butter on the floor
"What are so fixated on" Clara came up behind her and kissed her neck
"Can she hear me?"
"Can who hear you Yaz?" She frowned taking a mug out of the cupboard
"Your ship...it just turned the lights on when I sad morning"
Are you talking to Tardis Yaz?" She chucked
"Mmmmm"
"Of course she can hear you"
Yaz took a crumpet out of the toaster confused "That's just so bizarre" she shook her head and started spreading butter on it "but it's so cute...Here you go babe" she passed her the crumpet
"Hey, look at this" Clara sat on chair next to her and put a catalogue on the counter
"What's that?" Yaz glanced down quickly finishing the breakfast than finally sat down to eat
"Tables for you" she licked her fingers and flipped through the pages "Which one do you like?"
"Fuck girl...you're fast aren't you?" she laughed
"Well, I figured we need to set you up. It takes some time for them to be delivered. This is the same store where I got mine from...If you like something else we can have a look...or we can convert the upper room if you...
"Nooo!" Yaz jumped
"Alright" she smiled "I just thought if you'd like your own space and...maybe"
"No I don't want....my own space" she thought how entirely possessive and desperate this sounds but then Clara's face beamed and she didn't care anymore how it sounded
"Brilliant!" she had the happiest grin on her
"Well it does seem logical to have it as a set" she looked through "Where are prices?"
"I thought this would be nice...look" she pointed "It has plenty of drawers and those little compartments. You always need little compartments...well I do anyway...I love little compartments"
"That's nice...I do like that. I do like this one as well...It's a same I think just a bit smaller"
"You'll need a nice comfy chair as well"
"Clara how much is this all gonna cost?"
"I don't know...does it matter?"
"Yes...I would say it does" she laughed "Fuck me girl.."
"I can later potty mouth" she smirks flicking through. Then her phone rang
"Claaraa!... I'm serious"
"So am I Yaz" she laughed and got up kissing her forehead and grabbed the phone "Oh, hi...yes, we're up...come on over. Brilliant...see ya" she hangs up "Your dad. He's coming over"
"Can we get back to this?"
"Yeah...sure. Yaz I'll use the money you're giving me for bills...Alright? Told you it's for the house. Besides...you need a table and a chair and a computer...How will you work Yaz? From the floor writing in a book?"
Yaz sighed deeply "You're driving me nuts when it comes to money"
"Don't sulk butterfly, your bottom lip is popping out" she wiggles her finger over Yaz's bottom lip "Listen" she reaches for Yaz's hands as she sat down again "We're getting married Yaz and what we have, we have together...you know...this house...cars...Tardis. I know this is a big deal to you and I get it. We spoke about it before. But we can afford a table and a chair."
"And a computer" Yaz added
"Yes and a computer, and what ever it is that you need to get started. Darling I get payed by university and I get payed by the UNIT I have investments...I don't even know where I have them but I do...I am old butterfly so you know I also patterned some stuff...Did I mention that?
"Noooo you haven't" Yaz laughed at her rambling
"Aaand we have Tardis...we have a lot more to worry about than money lovely"
"What Tardis has to do with it?"
"It can..do stuff"
"Do what?"
"Loads Yaz...it can make things...nevermind that...Come on...pleaseeee choose a nice table" she leaned over rubbing her nose over her face
"Stop nuzzling me!" She laughed
"You like when I do it" Clara chuckled rubbing herself on her practically purring into her face
"You're cheeky...you're distracting me now"
"Mmmmm" Clara mumbled
"This isn't fa..."
"I love you Yasmin," she interrupted and slowly captured her lips in hers. Painfully slow like she always did when she wanted to drive her crazy knowing for sure that it worked every time. She knew that Yaz's mind would go fuzzy and she was playing her like a violin, and Yaz knew it too, but she couldn't help herself even if she tried… which she didn't.
"Fuck you Clara" she laughed into her lips
"Make up your mind Yaz" she laughed "I'm getting confused"
Yaz laughed pushing her face away "You're crazy...come on let's pick a table"
"Yeees!!!"
Yaz flipped the page and put her finger on it "That one definitely...and it's probably cheaper since you won't let me see the price" she leaned on her shoulder and kissed the side of neck "I love you so much. Thank you for this"
"I love you too my lovely butterfly. Don't thank me for this it's really silly Yaz"
Clara wrapped her arms around her and kissed the side of her head. Nothing in the universe could compare to this feeling she had inside her at this moment. Having her back in her life and having to hold her and feel her warm breath on her neck was more than she had ever hoped for in the past fifty seven years of loneliness and emptiness she felt in her hearts..
….
"Baaabe!!!...Dad's here!!!" Yaz yelled and hopped to the door
"Hey dad" she smiled opening the door
"Hey pumpkin" he hugged her kissing her cheek and then raised his hand shaking the bag with a food he brought for Clara happily grinning
"Ooohhh...someone's gonna be happy...Just put it on a kitchen top please....Want some tea?"
"No thanks...I'm fine just some water please" he said walking into the kitchen "Uuuu is that the new conservatory?"
"Oh, yeah I forgot...you didn't see it. Yes...go have a look"
"Oh waaaaw...it's beautiful"
"She loves it. She sits inside for hours sometimes" Yaz said leaning on the doorframe
"Hiya!" Clara smiled walking in "Nice, ha?" she said proudly walking inside
"Beautiful...I love the wood"
"Yeah, they broke the door when they broke in the house" she said walking around with hands in her pockets "There's little damage here" she pointed to the wood "But it's nothing serious"
"You were so lucky not to bump into them Clara"
"Mmmm...yeah" she glanced at Yaz "Oh thanks for fhe food" she grinned "Smells really nice"
"It's something new...So be honest with me"
"Promise....so...should we see the car?" she points twards the door
"Yeah...thanks for that...I really don't know what's the noise"
"So when do you hear the noise?"
"All the time to be honest...more when when it's going faster"
"Mmmm...could be the belt.." she makes a thinking face "Can you move it to the garage?"
"Sure"
….
Two hours later Yaz hopped to the garage. Clara was squeezed underneath the car and her dad was passing her some tools.
"...he made a change in the way people thought about cars" Clara talked from underneath the car "He showed them that you can drive across the U.S. in under a month, without getting seriously injured" she continued rambling as usual
"Who did love?" Yaz asked walking into to garage
"Henry Ford..." she slid herself out "Nice guy" she wiped her hands on her sides
"Did you know him?" Yaz asked and bit her tongue
"Oh..." Clara looked at her weirdly "Henry Ford darling...car investor"
"Oh yeah...sorry...I'm so fucking stupid"
"Don't ever say that Yaz about yourself " she kissed her temple
"Made you some tea"
"Goodie...We just finished"
"We? All I did was pass you the tools" Hakim said
"That's so not true Hakim" she tapped him on a shoulder "It was a team effort"
"Thanks Clara...oh I emailed you that letter from the city council. They will finally get rid if that rubbish"
"Or are they? Brilliant!"
….
It was early Monday and she passed by her workplace this morning. She felt sick to her stomach because she lied once again. And though Yaz had no way of knowing, she still wanted to puke on the floor for doing it. It felt like cheating, a betrayal of everything they had, all the trust and love between them, but she had no choice and remembering Graham's words, she turned the car into the Crookes Valley Park car park and got out. She didn't need a jacket because the morning air was relatively warm, summer was in the air and birds could be heard everywhere. She passed the main building and descended towards the lake, following a narrow path along the water. He was already there, standing by the lake.
"Why do we always meet like criminals?" he asked as he heard her footsteps behind him
"Aren't we not in a way? Technically we are both most wanted people in several galaxies" she smiled and he turned around with his big charming smile as usual
"Hey beautiful" he hugged her tightly
"Hey you...missed ya...Where have you been anyway? I've sent you five messages. I must say I did start to worry"
"Ran into some trouble...don't worry about it" he said as they left and she handed him the folder
"You did it?" he looked at her excitedly and she smiled
"I did Jack...took almost a month...I did 375 tests and it wasn't until she damaged her leg when it all popped up"
He stopped and flipped through the pages "OMG"
"I know...I'm not sure how I feel...it's everything I ever wanted and nothing in same time. I'm so overwhelmed Jack"
"This is briliant...horrific and briliant at the same time"
"I know...she's healing Jack...slowly but she is. Still doesn't mean it will go all the way. I'm not sure what it means at this point to be honest"
"So you're not sure iff she's completely like you?"
"No...she definitely isn't now but her leg is healing faster than it would in a human and it's all buzzing inside of her....so much going on at the moment. Anyway at least I now finally know what they were trying to do Jack and this isn't good"
"Human Time Lord hybrid" he said looking at the results of her research "How did they even get to the DNA?"
"I don't know Jack...it's one other thing that worries me...a lot"
"But she still isn't like you?"
"No, she isn't...I don't know if she ever will be but right now I don't care as long as she doesn't die...and she's not dying...she isn't Jack...I'll have her...I won't lose her" She smiled widely
"No, you won't Doctor...you won't lose her" he wrapped his fingers around her face and kissed her forehead gently
"They never knew the experiment had worked," she continued explaining "She was...discarded. Their lab destroyed all their work burned...they thought they failed...What worries me is that now they know that they didn't...you know failed...and she's the only living proof"
"Why did it work on her?"
"Artron energy....her DNA was already altered by being with me for so many years"
"You're not gonna like what I'm about to say" he looked at her still holding her face in his palm "You're not safe where you are Doctor...I know you love your house but if I were you I'd put her in the Tardis and go where no one can find you until you know more"
"Go where Jack?" she turned to the lake "I'm getting married in three weeks...What do I say...to her...to her family?...She's got no clue about any of this...I can't" she turned back to him "I don't want that life...not again...not anymore"
"I get that...can't blame you after everything...This regeneration isn't kind to you"
"Is any?...Has it ever been really?"
"No...not really...Hey, come on" he pulled her into a hug and she melted into him emotionally falling apart once again. Part of her hated herself for it, but another part of her needed to let it all out "It's all gonna turn out fine in the end...you'll see" he said kissing the top of her head
"I'm going after them Jack as soon the wedding is out of the way"
"No...no no no...you can't" he pulled her and cupped her face in his hands "Don't do that...there are others who can handle it"
"I have to get rid of them Jack...I can't have this hanging over my head all the time"
"I get that...but you can't get married and then leave her. What the hell?"
"I'm not leaving her!" She jumped pulling back
"What if something happens and you don't come back for years? Because that's you, let's face it...I should know"
"That's different...and you know it is"
"Is it? Really?...Come oooon Doctor...for once let someone else handle something"
"I'm tired of running Jack...I've done it my whole life...I've had it. I love this life and I want it...and I can never have it as ling as they are around. Not with what's going on with Yaz...She's always gonna be their target...Besides...It's small universe when someone touches into those I love"
"I get it...you're angry for what they did to Yaz...I get you wanna wipe them from existence, I would too. But you already spent fifty-seven years on this. Please give me what you have and give a month...one month...that's all I'm asking and I'll bring them to your doorstep. Then do whatever you want with them"
"Why? This isn't you battle Jack..."
"You know why...You know this isn't just about Yaz. So stop...pleaseeee for the love of the stars stop and let me handle this"
She pursed her lips and turned towards the lake.
"Doctor" he said pleading "Please..."
She turned around her jaw clenched "Alright fine...you win"
"Yees!!" he jumped kissing her cheek
"Stooop...only under one condition"
"Anything" he said smiling from ear to ear
"You work with Kate"
"Oh come oooon"
"Oi!!...you are not doing this alone Jack...come on the only thing they need now apart form my DNA is yours...Wouldn't that be just perfect. I don't like this...I don't"
"I can take care of myself...hey at least I can't die and Yaz loves this face....it's a nice face"
"Oh stop it" she smiled "As it happens she does...as it happens she also likes me being a woman...a lot...I like being a woman...it's a nice change...I'm in no rush to be a bloke again and you know regeneration is gamble...Could you imagine I end up old and ugly" she hooked her arm to his and started walking
He laughed "I'm not picky"
"Keep dreaming Jack" she smiled shaking her head
"I'm starving...you're treating me to an early lunch"
"Am I?....Doctor never caries money Jack" she laughed
"That's fine...they take credit cards" he kissed her temple grinning "You really are cute in this regeneration you know that"
"Charmer...I see you can't stop kissing me" she laughed "It's ok...somehow I don't mind it" she said as they slowly walked towards the car
That evening she came home late and walked into the living room finding Yaz fast asleep on a sofa with a TV on and dinner already cold in the oven. She shook off her boots and her trousers leaving her in only shirt hanging over her sides and she climbed over the back of the sofa snuggling next her, wrapping her arm around her and kissed the back of her neck
"Hey" Yaz smiled and turned around
"Hey yourself" Clara said into her lips and kissed slow and gentle
"Hard day?" Yaz asked rubbing her thumb right by her ear
"Mmmmm...I really need you" she pouted her lips. Her eyes gazing all over Yaz's face as she fell silent for a moment. She looked tired, sad and troubled. Look that Yaz has seen more times than she could count.
"I love you...so very much" she whispered stroking her face "I know you won't tell me what's bothering you. Just tell me what I can do to make it better baby"
She didn't reply to that, she didn't really know what to reply. She just took her lips into hers slowly and gently moving herself underneath her to feel all her waight on herself wrapping her legs around her
"Oh, sorry...your leg" she suddenly remembered
"It's fine...I would already scream in pain believe me" she kissed her once more "Better?"
"Mmmm...I just need you like this" she wrapped her fingers around the back of Yaz's neck and locked her legs around her
"It's alright baby I'm here...God I wish you talk to me...It's that fucking case you're working on isn't it? It's really getting to you"
"Mmmmm" she gazed at her moving strands of hair from her face and then rubbed her thumb over her face "I adore you Yasmin...I can't live without you"
"You don't have to...you're marring me in three weeks" she smiled "I'm stuck to you like glue whether you like it or not"
"I do like it" she smiled little and pulled her for another kiss. It was deep and desperate filled with desire and followed by many more one after another and she whimpered into her lips almost painfully rubbing her leg on her sides and tangling her fingers into Yaz's hair. She moved with passion filled with desperation grabbing any part of Yaz she could slipping her hands underneath her clothes to feel her bare soft skin underneath her palms losing herself in her so much she didn't notice when Yaz's hand slipped between them. She broke a kiss with silent sigh
"Feel me baby" Yaz whispered "I'm a part of you and you're a part of me" she spoke softly moving slowly through her and kissed her open lips. She watched her as she was falling apart underneath her. As her eyes opened just slightly and she gazed at her dreamy.
Clara grabbed her t-shirt into her fist and moaned loudly. Tears ran on a side of her face and Yaz kissed them away.
"Yaz..."she panted breathlessly and ran her hand down Yaz's hand that was wedged between her thighs "Please don't..."
"I won't...I'm a part of you, forever baby"
Clara grabbed the back of her neck and kissed her hard and passionate moaning into her breath
"Say that again" she said wrapping her fingers around her face
"I'm a part of you...forever" Yaz repeated resting her forehead on hers "Fly for me baby"
Clara moaned grabbing Yaz's hair at the back of her neck and crushed her lips into hers wrapping herself around her as she shuddered into million pieces underneath her. Her skin was on fire and her cheeks burning like the flame. She fell silent sinking into the soft pillows of the sofa and slumped her arm around Yaz's shoulder burring her face into her neck. Yaz rested her head on hers and pulled her hand back slowly.
"Stars I love you"
"I absolutely adore you" she said kissing Clara's forehead
"Those were nice nickers" Clara laughed kissing her still breathless
"What do you expect when you wake me up half naked rubbing yourself on me" she smiled rubbing her nose over her cheek and kissing the little spot right next to her ear
They lied like that in silence for a while. Clara kissing her gently from time to time smiling dreamy wrapped around her locking her in with her legs as to stop her from going anywhere.
"Baby"
"Yes butterfly"
"My leg hurts now"
"Shoot" she jumped up trying to move "Sorry...I'm so sorry"
"It's fine...just saying...I need one those dreadful jabs of yours and I need to move"
"Sure...yes...yes of course you do...Gods Yaz I'm so sorry"
"Oh stop I'm not made of sugar"
They shuffled around and got up "I'm starving" Clara said hopping to the drawer to get the medication.
"I have to wash my hand" Yaz laughed sitting on a sofa making Clara chuckle whilst digging through the drawer "Very romantic conversation" Yaz added laughing
Clara crouched down next to her and wrapped her fingers around her face gazing at her lovingly "Thank you"
"For what? Shagging you?....My pleasure" she laughed
Clara laughed like crazy craning her neck "You really have a dirty mouth Yaz" she looked back up at her "For just being there every time Yaz. For this...for putting up with me...I know I'm a nightmare"
"I'm not putting up with you you silly woman. I love you" she stroke her face "I'll always be there...no matter what...even iff you fuck up in the most spectacular way I'll still be there Clara, and I'll still love you. That will never change...Now give me that fucking shot because I'm dying now" she laughed
"Oh, sorry" moved her hair out of the way and gave her the shot then kissed her forehead
"Let's eat...I'm sure it tastes like shit by now but I'm starving"
….
Another week passed quickly. Yaz hobbled around with only one crutch trying to be useful in clearing Clara's study for another desk while the furniture was being delivered later in the day. It was great timing right before the weekend so they had two full days to put everything in place. She was excited to have her desk in the same room and work across from Clara, not that Clara spent a lot of time in her study, but just the feeling of closeness and shared space made her stomach warm. When Clara mentioned that they could turn the small room upstairs into her office, Yaz refused before finishing her sentence. Clara's home décor wouldn't normally have been Yaz's choice, but it all screamed Clara in every way and Yaz learned to love it. It was their home now, and she had so many fond memories of it that she wouldn't trade it for anything. The hallway was packed with books because Clara had to move the entire massive bookshelf to another wall to redecorate the entire room.
"Yaz...please...move...I don't need your help" Clara said moving the cupboard away from the wall "I don't want you hurting yourself"
"I wanna help"
"You can help by moving away" she said stressfully pushing the wardrobe.
"Alright for fuck sake...I just wanted to be useful"
"You are useful Yaz...in many different ways. But right now I just need you out of the way" she said and pushed the huge cupboard across the room
"Stoop!" Yaz shouted
"What?" Clara yelled
"Chandler..." she pointed
"Stars Yaz I know...It's fine"
"Fine...I give up...I'm just gonna shut the fuck up"
"I did not tell you to...aaaahhhr" she pushed as hard as she could "shut the fuck up...I only told you to move out of the way...there" she wiped her hands on her sides "see...all done"
"It looks nice" she smiled
"It does...I wasn't sure how it will look like on that wall but as it happens not bad"
"Can I help now? You know...putting the stuff back"
"Yes, of course you can be silly" she walked over and put her hand over her shoulder "Stop sulking" she playfully pulled Yaz's bottom lip down with her finger "I was just telling you to move away" she kissed her temple "I don't want to you trip over things Yaz and fall... things are everywhere
"I know...I'm sorry"
"Come on...I tell you what, I'll bring all the books and you can put them back on the shelfs...How's that?"
"Grait"
"Briliant" she kissed her quickly and hoped to the hallway "Tell you what...I can take some of those to Tardis...so we have more room. You may need some room as well...you know for files or...something Yaz...I'll take them back to the library"
"You have a library?"
"Yap...this is all from Tardis library...some are for my work but most from Tardis" she was digging through the books and separating them
"How big is your library?" Yaz asked putting books on the shelf
"You can go with me and see for yourself" she grinned looking up at her and blew a hair from her face
"I'd like that" Yaz smiled
"I thought you might...you've been dying to see it again and Tardis keeps asking about you all the time"
"What?"
"Oh, yeah...she likes you" Clara passed her more books "She likes you a lot Yaz...she missed you"
"She only saw me once"
"Mmmm..." Clara murmured walking back to the hallway
"How does she understand what we're saying?"
"Oh, Tardis is...alive in a way"
"How can ship be alive?....Though nothing surprises me any more"
"She's made out of organic matter and she's a form of AI...you could say she's organic AI...sentient...she feels and thinks and learns...she can be happy or sad or...experience any emotion we have...love, anger"
"Waaaw...I thought it's something similar because she switches the lights on each time I speak to her"
"Told you...she likes you Yaz"
Clara was carrying a big pile of books twards the Tardis and Yaz hopped along behind her. Door opened as soon as they stepped infront and Clara turned over her shoulder with a smile.
"I wonder where that key is?" Yaz smirked
"No idea Yaz..." she booted the door and they stepped inside
"Waaaaw..." Yaz looked around eyes open wide
"I now righ...pretty" Clara said and Tardis hummed turning lights to pink
"Hello" Yaz said smiling
"Come Yaz...this way" she nodded and went up the stairs into the hallway "Kitchen" she nods her head to the left trying to balance the books
Yaz peaked inside "Looks like a regular kitchen"
"What did you think it looks like?"
"Dunno...more futuristic...maybe"
"Neah...I like the old school" she kept walking through the hallways passing many doors including their room waiting for reaction from Yaz hopefully. But she passed it same as any other door down the hallway.
"That's a lot of doors" said Yaz as they continued to walk down the long narrow hallway "It looks like a hotel"
"Sometimes it felt like it is" she laughed
Yaz ran her fingers down the walls as she walked through and they tingled from vibrations she felt. There was a strange feeling she felt inside that she couldn't explain even if she tried so she went with it. The control room echoed due to it's sheer size and gave a sense of awe but the corridors exuded warmth and intimacy. They were quiet and pleasant, the sound in them was almost muffled.
"You alright lovely," Clara turned over her shoulder
"Yeah"
"You're very quite"
"Just taking it all in...that's all....Wait I'll do it" Yaz sped up to the double door and Clara stopped
She smiled as Yaz passed her. She didn't say this was the library door. She didn't actually say anything "Alright...go on...you open it then" she stood waiting to see her face when she opens the door to her favorite place in a Tardis
Yaz grabbed the handle and pushed the door open. She gasped at the first sight, her eyes stopped moving, she was sure that her heart, as well as her whole body froze at the sight. The smell of old wood, paper and cinnamon hit her face and she felt every cell in her body vibrate as she stepped inside. Clara followed her and just threw all the books on the floor as soon as she got inside. She watched Yaz walk quietly a few steps and wished she could see her face, but gave her a moment to gather her thoughts. Yaz needed it because she didn't know what her thoughts were at the moment. She didn't know what she was thinking or how she was feeling. Her eyes wander over endless bookshelves, wooden balconies and spiral staircases. She walked past the massive burgundy sofa and ran her fingers over the brocade fabric. Her eyes caught the large fireplace and the open book on the coffee table.
"Yasmin" Clara called her name softly
Yaz turned around "Mmmmm?"
"You like it?"
"Are you trying to be funny?" she raised her eyebrow "This looks like a national library"
"Does it?" Clara scrunched her face
Yaz rolled her eyes laughing "It's stunning...absolutely stunning...but there's something else...apart from being...waaaw"
"What lovely?" Clara came up to her and hooked her index finger to hers. Secretly she was hoping Yaz would remember something, anything.
"I dunno...it feels so...warm"
"I thought it was a bit chilly the heating is not on" she laughed
"You silly sod" Yaz laughed "I love it...I could be here all day and get lost in all these books"
Clara stepped behind her and wrapped her arms around her leaning her cheek against hers "You can if you want"
"Babe...What if the furniture comes and we don't hear the lorry?"
"Oh shoot...good point Yaz" Clara kissed her cheek and took her hand "We will come back I promise...I'll show you everything. There's much more Yaz, water slides, swimming pool, rainforest"
"You're joking?"
"Nope...it's another dimension Yaz...it literally means that. Technically I can fit a whole city in here...but that would be a nightmare to maintain"
"Fuck"
"Oi, potty mouth...no swearing inside Tardis...she hates it"
"Oh, sooooorrrryyy" she looked at the ceiling
"Neah" she scrunched her face "She'll forgive you...she missed you too much"
Yaz felt so unusual when they stepped into the garden. It was as if she had returned to this one from another world. It was a strange feeling to have the whole world in a blue shed in the corner of their garden. She wasn't sure if she would ever be able to see it as a ship because it felt more like a wardrobe from Narnia than anything else. Her Narnia, to which she was drawn like a magnet by some invisible force. The same force that drew her to Clara when she first laid eyes on her. It was the same feeling deep inside her soul.
….
"Claraaaa...can I look now?" Yaz sobbed from the living room as Clara wouldn't let her go into the study
"In a minute!!!" she yelled
"Come ooon...I'm dying here"
"I can assure you that you're very much alive Yaz" she came to the living room exited "Come on...it's all done"
She put her hands over her eyes as she led her to the study
"Can I look...pleaseee" Yaz tried moving her fingers away and peaking but she couldn't "Come ooon"
"So...how do ya like it?" she finally moved her fingers from her eyes
"OMFG!!! .... I have office"
"You do...
"And you even got me a plant...and a picture frame" she smiled
"You like it?"
"I love it babe...I absolutely love it" she pulled her in for the back of her neck into a kiss "Thank you" Yaz smiled into her lips
Their tables were now by the bay window and rearranged into an L-shape so Yaz could look outside when she will be working. Her laptop came as well. The first one Yaz ever owned. She used to share a computer with her family and this was the first time she had her own. Clara cleared out one of the shelves and replaced the books with lever arch files
"I got you these" she showed "I'm sure you're gonna need them for something
"Waaaw...How organized" she smiled "It's perfect baby" she leaned her head on her shoulder and slipped her arms around her waist
"Right...well that's done...I'm hungry now"
"Me too...I can't believe we actually did all this in one afternoon"
"Come on...you need to rest now Yaz. I know your leg is better but that doesn't mean you can ran a marathon now"
"It does hurt a bit"
It was evening when they finally finished and after having dinner they snuggled on a sofa watching a movie. Yaz fell asleep halfway through it as usual and had had no idea what time it was when Clara took her upstairs. She woke up in the middle of night and ran her hand on the sheets to find an empty bed next to her.
"Oh Clara" she sighed deeply
It was almost four in the morning and the Tardis was humming softly. Clara was sitting on the stairs in her pajamas. The sleeves of her oversized T-shirt fell over her fingers holding the paper as she read the results the Tardis gave her. Now that she knew what was going on with Yaza, she wanted to know more. This was her chance while her body was healing the injury to find out exactly what was going on inside her before the regeneration energy went dormant again and it wouldn't show in any test. She was exhausted and her brain was foggy he slowly stood up leaving the papers on top of the console. The door creaked and she looked up. Yaz stood at the door of the Tardis in her fluffy pink dressing gown, her hair falling over her shoulders, her face still sleepy
"Darliiing" she sighed "Why are you not sleeping?"
"Hey lovely" Clara smiled "C'mere" she held out her hand and Yaz walked over wrapping her arm around her waist and resting her head on her chest "I'm sorry" she kissed the top of her head
"Please come back to bed. It's Saturday tomorrow...You have a whole day for this...pleeeease baby"
"Alright butterfly" she put her arm around her shoulder "Come on...let's go"
She went back to bed and wrapped herself around Yaz kissing the back of neck and slipped her hand inside her pajamas resting it on Yaz's warm stomach.
"What's wrong?" Yaz asked quietly
"Nothing darling...go back to sleep" she said placing a kiss on a back of neck and tucking her face into it.
....
Chapter 29
The morning sun was breaking through the closed curtains of the bedroom window. It was early, too early to get out of bed which was soft and warm. Yaz rolled over the bed and put her leg over Clara's side, her arm around her chest. Clara woke up just enough to intertwine their fingers and let out a sleepy moan. She was happy that she was still there because most mornings she would wake up to an empty bed so she buried her face in her golden locks, breathing in her scent. She smiled at the mint and beeswax mixed with the scent of the Tardis from last night and it was the Tardis smell that reminded her of Christmas. It was only now she released that this was the smell she felt on Clara from the moment she met her. Yaz found it as intoxicating as she found everything about Clara intoxicating. She could feel her breathing through the thin fabric of her cotton pajama top and her heart pounding in her chest against the hand Clara was clutching tightly to her chest. In just two weeks, she will become her wife, life partner and her soul mate. A thought that made Yaz choke with happiness. And this day was getting closer and closer, she was getting more and more anxious. Anxious with happiness, not worry for the first time in her life. She was also marring an alien, a thought she sometimes pushed away because it was so outside the box.
It was still a mysterious part of Clara's life that Yaz was patient to give her as much time as she needed to share, and even if she never would because of all the pain associated with it Yaz was fine with that. It was this Clara who was lying next to her that was most important to her. The life they were building together meant everything to her. It was with that thought, she snuggled closer to her and buried her face deeper in her future wife's hair, falling asleep again.
She was woken up by a tickle of her nose and when she opened her eyes she saw Clara smiling running her fingertip down the length of it.
"Morning sleepy head" she smiled
"Morning baby" Yaz said with a yawn
"It's almost noon by the way" she laughed "I thought I wake you up for lunch" she giggled
"OMFG I'm so sorry"
"It's ok...You always were a sleepy head...Some things never change"
"I know, I'm a lazy person" she giggled and wrapped her arms around her "C'mere" she pulled her by the t-shirt "Lie on me...I wanna feel you"
Clara shuffled over the bed with a happy smile kicking off her boots and settling herself in her arms. She kissed the side of her neck and took a deep breath "I love the way you smell in the morning"
"What do I smell like in the morning?" She giggled enjoying in her waight pressing her into the mattress. It was always a welcome thing in her life.
"You smell like baby powder and you soooo soft and warm" she wiggled her bum between her legs and Yaz locked her in draping her healthy leg over her waist "Now you're making me lazy" she said laughing and kissed the tip of her nose then her cheek then her lips and moved down showering kisses over her chest "Whanna help me out?"
"Sure...in what?" Yaz asked stroking her hair
"Weelll...as it happens I need to sort out all those books we took to the library..."
"Yes...yes yes!!" Yaz jumped up super exited and Clara lifted her head up grinning
"I thought that's gonna make you happy...I'll show you around"
"Aaaaaaaaa! " she yelled excited "Really? Can I see the forest?"
"Yap...and the wardrobe" she kissed her chest "And we can take a swim" she grinned lifting her top kissing her breast
"You're joking?"
"Nope..." she said taking her breast into her lips giggling "Naked" she laughed
"Uuuu....speaking my language baby" she giggled pushing her lower down...
….
"Babeeeee....where do you keep the tea?" Yaz yelled from the Tardis kitchen
"Bottom drawer on your left" Doctor yelled from the hallway carrying another load of books from the house into the library "I hope they are ok...it's been a while Yaz"
"Yap...they seem fine..but you have something rotten in a fridge babe. This place really needs a deep clean"
"Oh, shoot...that's my root killer" she peaked from the door
"Ewwww...you keep that in a fridge?"
"Yeah...iff I don't it grows Yaz...meet me in the library"
"Sure" she said making a tea
It was absolutely the weirdest feeling for her being inside the Tardis and making a tea in the spaceship kitchen that looked like a regular kitchen in some apartment. Everything about it spoke to her about Clara and how she lived before they met. It was simple, almost humble. Cupboards completely empty just few packets of biscuits with expiration date on them long past. It all spoke to her of loneliness and sadness of her tiny future wife dwelling alone on a massive empty ship. There was handwritten note stuck to fridge door written in Clara's handwriting on a small piece of paper "We need some milk. Love ya, Thete xx"
Yaz ran her fingers over it and it made her heart sink. Apparently it was written to her beloved wife whom she had lost. And that made Yaz so emotional that she had to hold back tears. Thete... a name that echoed in her as if she had heard it before, she had never heard Clara say it, at least she didn't think she had. Or maybe it was a sweetheart name her wife called her. The way Clara keeps giving her silly names like butterfly. There was another note on the refrigerator door. A small drawing of Clara that Yaz recognized by the blue trousers and rainbow colored shirt. It had blue hearts all over the drawing and writing in Gallifreyan that Yaz didn't yet understand. Clara was teaching her, but it was difficult for her to learn all the rules of all the symbols, dots and lines. She felt like she was almost intruding into someone's life that didn't belong to her. The shadows from her girlfriends past that she was trampling on.
She took the tea cups in her hand and her church into the other heading twards the library slowly
"Hey baby" she yelled not seeing her "Where are you?"
"Hey lovely....I'm up here" Clara yelled from one of the balconies "I'll be right with you" she said leaning over the wooden railing
"Alright babe" Yaz smiled and walked over to the sofa. She placed the cups on the coffee table and stood next to it looking around the library
"Hey butterfly" Clara smiled walking up to her "Why don't you sit down"
"Ha?...what?" Yaz turned towards her with a lost gaze
"You alright Yaz? You look like you've seen a ghost?"
She shook her head and blinked "Yeah...I meant no..no I haven't seen the ghost...sorry"
"Yaz darling is everything alright?" Clara cupped her face "You look like you're gonna cry"
"I'm sorry"
"C'mere...sit down"
"Can we go home?"
"What?" Clara bliked confused "Yaz...speak to me...did you see something...is something scaring you?...talk to me"
"It's just...I feel like"
"Like what Yaz?"
She took a big breath with her eyes filled with tears that were about to roll down her cheeks "Like it's not my place to be here"
"What...whyyy?"
"It's...your wife and...it's your place...your home...I feel like I'm intruder"
"Stars Yaz" she pulled to her chest and ran her fingers through her hair. Tears filled her eyes and breath got caught up deep inside her throat. Yaz clenched to her so hard and cried silently into her chest
"I'm so sorry baby" she spoke quietly into her chest
Clara cupped her face between her palms and brushed her thumbs over her cheeks "Yaz darling it's alright baby" she kissed the tip of her nose "C'mere" she took her hand and sat her on a sofa holding her hands and running her thumbs over her knuckles "Yaz darling...this is really important what I'm gonna say...I'm over 3000 years old darling...that's a lot of years. This place...this ship" she looked up and around "It's filled with my past...all the places I've been to and all the people I've been...12 that I can remember...and all the people I loved and lost" she gulped and looked up holding back her tears "And there are soooo many Yaz that I have lost in all those years" she looked back into her eyes and wrapped her fingers around her face "And so many I have loved...but that's my past love. You're my present and my future" she ran her finger over her cheek "You're not intruder baby. Your a part of my life...you're a part of it darling because this is a part of me...this here is all of me. So you belong here the same way you belong inside my hearts" she placed Yaz's hand on her chest. Her hearts were pounding fast and her chest rising as her voice began to shake more.
Yaz whimpered and floods of tears ran down her face "I'm sorry...I didn't look at it like that...it just...I felt so uncomfortable"
"Stars Yaz nooo please....never" she pulled her onto herself and wrapped her arms around her so tightly Yaz felt she was being crushed "Please don't feel that way Yaz because you feeling that way really hurts....Hey..hey" she pulled her back amd smiled a little "I have a brilliant idea" she said and wiped Yaz's tears with her palms
"What?"
"Let's clean this place up...and tell me what you want...and we change it...what ever you like...purple sofa?...We can have a purple sofa I always wanted one...we can buy one...it's your favorite color" she smiled
"Alright...I'd like that" she smiled
"Brilliant ...Oh, please don't cry" she kept wiping the tears off her face with her palm "We go and buy crumpets and your favourite tea and we put it in a kitchen...and Ice-cream....I have a machine somewhere...I haven't used it at least 57 years"
"OMG" Yaz laughed "I think you might need a new one babe"
"What ever you like...you make it yours so it feels like a home...I want this place to be your home as much as our house is"
"Ok" she smiled nodding as Clara still held onto her face so firmly between her palms "Kiss me baby" she said desperately
"C'mere butterfly" she pulled her in and kissed her gently then dotted her lips over her cheeks, her forehead and finished with the tip of her nose "I wanna show you something" she smiled into her lips "Whanna see?"
"Mmmm" she smiled nodding
...
They were walking down one of the many corridors and Yaz was getting lost where they were. She felt like she was following Clara like a white rabbit into Wonderland. Which was funny in itself because she was blonde and she hoped super hyper all the time, and she loved her tea and the thought made her laugh until the smile froze on her face as the door opened to another completely different world which created thoughts that she was seriously tripping on some strange drug. There was a whole forest, a huge deep real forest beyond the door and as they stepped inside she looked back and saw a door… it was set inside a mountain… a real mountain with a door on it and she blinked shaking her head trying to make sense of everything around her until Clara's hand pulled her away and she looked ahead again at the endless forest with real trees and birds and butterflies flying around.
"Is this fucking real?...Ups sorry" she frowned apologizing to the Tardis "I can't not swear this is insane...this is fucking insane!"
"I know right...pretty isn't it?...It's gone a bit wild since I left I should really sort it out"
"Whaaat? What do you mean sort it out? Is this a virtual reality program?"
Clara laughed "Noooo Yaz...goodness of course not...that's so outdated"
"Oh, yeah sorry, of course it is...my girl from the future" she laughed
"No darling just another planet...not the future" she turned around and smuged
Yaz rolled her eyes laughing holding her hand for dear life so she doesn't fall over the roots of the trees on a narrow pathway. Suddenly a massive bug flew in front of her face and she screamed
"What?" Clara turned around
"What the hell was that?"
"Oh, Anax magna Yaz"
"Whaaaa?" she frowned horrified
"Dragonfly from Orniux"
"Orni what?"
"Orniux darling, it's a planet in the fifth galaxy constellation of Fraxia...very nice place"
"That's fucking huge so I doubt that....I'm not really a lover of bugs" she said looking around horrified
"I know my cute butterfly" she laughed "You never were"
"Butterflies are nice...but I draw the line there....Clara where are we going?"
"Patients Yaz...I promise you will love it" she grinned haply "You alright walking here? We can go back if it's difficult?"
"Just hold my hand and I'll be fine...It's ok as long as none of those things fly around me"
"Blimey...I can barley find my way around this place I really need to sort this out" she said moving the massive ferns out of the way...Aaaaa there we are" she moved the big branch "C'mere darling...slowly...mind the branches" she said as they bent underneath the one of the tree branches
"OMFG!" Yaz's eyes open wide
"Like it?"
"Waaaaaw" she smiled looking at crystal blue lake with a white sand on the bottom
"Swim?" she grinned exited
"Oh yeah" Yaz said with a massive smile across her face "you need to help me though"
"Oh I can get out of your clothes Yaz before you blink"
"I know you can cheeky" she laughed
"Careful baby...just hold on to me" Clara said as they slowly entered the water. The sand under their feet was soft and slid between their toes, and the water was pleasant and warm. It was easier for Yaz they went deeper and then Clara held her waist walking backwards until she could get into the water
"This is so beautiful!" Yaz yelled like exited kid taking a dip
"Told ya" Clara giggled and splashed water over her
The lake was quite large, the size of an average swimming pool and as they swam further the water got deeper and deeper. Yaz looked down and saw all the way to the bottom because the water was crystal clear. But it was a good ten feet below her to the bottom, or so it seemed to her
"Clara"
"Yes baby?"
"There are no...you know animals here?"
"Oh, there's this fish...it's quite nasty but I'm sure we'll be fine they don't come out during a day"
"Whaaa?" she looked at her in pure horror and turned to see how far away was the beach
"Got ya!" she laughed
"Fuck off Clara" she splashed water over her face
"C'mere silly" she pulled her by the hand and Yaz wrapped herself around her. She learned Clara was a strong swimwear as well, holding them both floating like this "Like it?" Clara asked exited.
"Love it...still feel like I'm tripping though" she giggled
"I assure you you're not tripping Yaz" she smiled
"This is your word" she said looking around holding herself for her shoulders.
"Yap" she was looking at her so obviously reading every reaction on her face. Every little twitch and she waited impatiently for Yaz's response.
"It's stunning...absolutely stunning"
"This is...but not everything is Yaz"
She looked again at her eyes which were shining on what appeared to be the sun, but Yaz wasn't sure what it was because they were obviously inside a spaceship, which absolutely blew her away so she just told herself it was the sun and continued to concentrate at Clara's beautiful autumn eyes that looked greener in the light.
"I know it's not baby" she tucked her hair behind her ears "But you said this is all you...and it's as beautiful as you" she said and kissed her softly "You're struggling keeping us floating...let's go"
"Noo.. stay" she wrapped her arm around her waist pressing them closer together and stilled in the water keeping them floating resting her forehead on hers "I love you Yasmin...I love you so so much"
"Why do you always say that with such desperation as if I will disappear into the air?" she said kissing her cheek
"Because I'm afraid that you will"
"But I won't...not ever...not as long I'm alive....and I absolutely, completely, utterly adore you too" she said into her lips and kissed her slowly
They swam back to where their feet could touch the bottom and stayed there for while. Yaz wrapped herself around her listening her stories about the forest and all the places inside the Tardis Clara wanted to show her.
"It feels so wired when I step back into garden from here" she said tucking her face into her neck. The warm water of the lake made her leg feel better and she felt no pain so she was in no rush to come out even though her lips were slowly going blue and her fingertips were already wrinkled. Clara's was tracing her hand down her spine lazily and feeling weightless in the water wrapped around her in her arms in this beautiful place wasn't helping. She felt like she could stay like thus for hours.
"You get used to it with time. You'll see...I don't notice it anymore"
"You never wanna go back to this do you?"
"At the moment no...I love our home Yaz...i love the life we have...I wanna keep it for as long as I can" she spoke quietly brushing her fingertips down Yaz's lower back "But if I ever do...You know, feel like it...I want you with me" She kissed Yaz's cheek gently then rubbed her nose into her cheek attentively.
"I would go to the end of the universe with you"
"Good" she grinned "Because universe Yaz has no end" she wrapped her arms around her tightly and dunk them into the water laughing
That evening, Yaz was still in awe of everything she saw and kept asking Clara a bunch of questions. She learned a lot about how the Tardis works and how Clara can add and remove rooms and all about its basic functions. It was a strange feeling to listen to all that. Now more than ever before it struck her that Clara was not really human. All this time she kind of pushed that to the back of her mind and just simply saw her as a silly, eccentric little woman who was a physics teacher and that image of her kind of matched her strange manner and her silly language. But it suddenly dawned on her that Clara really wasn't human and that they had a time ship parked in the corner of their garden that was a whole other world inside. It suddenly became inescapably clear how this little tiny silly person was sustaining this whole strange world inside a tiny blue box and how she was over 3000 years old. It blew her mind so much that she had trouble sleeping that night. She tossed and turned in the bed until Clara wrapped herself around her like a koala and mumbled into her neck as always. She was finally lulled to sleep by the rhythm of her two hearts beating against her chest, lulling her to sleep.
…
The two weeks until the wedding seemed to be approaching so quickly and Clara was getting nervous. In a good way, where her hearts would beat faster every time she thought about it. They traveled to Oxford a week before to be at the hotel for all the preparations. She was overwhelmed with the paperwork they had to do before and was getting everything ready for Monday morning. A favor she had to ask from Kate because the papers really should have been submitted months before. But everything with them was fast and chaotic from start to finish and this was no exception. It also seemed strange that Yaz would now take her name. The woman she knew all these years as Yasmin Khan will now be called Yasmin Sigma. The name the Doctor had long forgotten, the one she hadn't used in centuries, would now be written on all of Yaz's documents. It was a strange thought. It also did occur to her that she never told Yaz her dead name, not to this Yaz anyway. The one that only a few knew and no one ever used apart from her...her one other...the one she doesn't want to think about. Clara was just a mask, a kind of a game. But it grew so much on Yaz that it has now become a part of the Doctor. Just as strong a part as her long lost beloved friend was. And there was also a strange poetry in it. She always wanted her to move on and finally find her happiness, to love and be loved and not to dwell in anger and sadness. And she seemed to honor that promise in some way.
"Yaz darling" Clara called from the study
"Yes baby"
"Come here for a moment"
Yaz walked into the study and Clara pulled her hand sitting her in her lap as she always did.
"What baby?"
"Well, I'm doing the paperwork for the wedding I need you to sighed it. It also just crossed my brains something"
"Something is always crossing your brains" Yaz giggled kissing side of her head
"Mmmm...true...I'm so silly Yaz I never told you what my name is"
"You have that silly Doctor thing and Sigma" she giggled "Doctor Sigma" she giggled like crazy
Clara laughed sinking her head into her shoulder "You silly sod...Nooo...not really darling. It's a name I chose for myself when I changed my life and left Gallifrey"
"How many names do you have girl?" she laughed "Ok...do tell..." she wiggled in her lap exited
"Theta...Theta Sigma is what they used to called me when I was at the academy"
"OMG...that name...Thete"
"Ha?" she frowned confused
"The name from the note on a fridge...the one in a Tardis kitchen"
"Oh...you saw that..." she said nuzzling her nose over her face
"Yeah I have...sorry"
"Sorry for what Yaz...don't be silly" she kissed her cheek
"I love your name...it's beautiful"
"Neah.." she scrunched her face "I haven't used that name properly in centuries...at least 2500 years"
"Fuck babe...are sure you can remember it?" she laughed like crazy
"You cheeky bugger...course I can...I remember everything I'll have you know"
"So no dementia?" she laughed
"What is this? Take a piss out of me day" she laughed "No...not for now...though you never know with those old brains Yaz...they may need rebooting from time to time"
"Well as long as you don't reboot you body any time soon"
"Not planning to" she laughed
"Good then, cause I really like it"
"I know you do...don't want wrinkly old git do ya?"
"I'd still love my wrinkly old git you know" she squeezed her arms around her
"Oh, Yaz...you say that now...that's not easy you know" she said running hand over her sides tucking her face into her neck
"I'm not saying that it is...just saying I'd still love you the same...and we'd work through it" she said and kissed the side of her head "Not sure how I'd explain that to my family though...I think mum might lose it, nanny be right chuffed cause you're a bloke"
Clara giggled into her shoulder "You're proper crazy Yaz"
"Just saying...it wouldn't be all bad"
Clara looked up smiling "You know what I'm gonna say?"
"That you love me so so much...and you're gonna say it in a way that makes my nickers wet"
Clara laughed like crazy shaking her head "What have done to you"
"Ruined me for the rest of my life babe" she giggled and fell silent as Clara slowly pressed her lips to her kissing her so deeply and passionately that her heart leapt out of her mouth. Which she didn't think was even humanly possible after all those months and so many kisses between them. But she would still tremble at her touch and feel as if the whole world were collapsing around her when she held her in her arms. She never wanted to lose those feelings and hoped they would stay for the rest of her life. Clara broke the kiss with a soft smile and tapped her nose with her finger
"Let's get this done so we can relax"
"Alright...where do I sign?"
"Right there butterfly" she pointed to the paper and kissed her temple
"I'll have to get used to signing myself as Sigma"
"Well maybe I should've been Khan then?" she laughed
"No...told you I want this. she said quite seriously as she signed her name. Thinking that this is very likely the last time in her life that she signs as Khan.
"I know lovely....right.. that's done then. Tomorrow we meet up with Kate and her mate and get this all sorted....Exited about Oxford?"
"I can't wait...I wish we could take Tardis"
"Whaaa?"
"Yeah...I mean...I feel a bad leaving her alone now I know she feels everything"
"She's gonna be fine Yaz"
"So we're getting purple sofa after the wedding?"
"Definitely" she squeezed her tight
"I need to lie down"
"Hurts?"
"Not as much anymore. Just walking around without the crutches puts a lot of pressure on it...But I'm really trying...
"Don't you go overboard Yaz...that leg needs to heal properly"
"I know Boo I'm just so fed up being like this"
"Booo Yaz?" Clara raised her eyebrow then Yaz burst out laughing
"Oh come ooon...You call me butterfly"
"Boo" she starts tickling her "I'm the Doctor I have you know...Not Boooo!!!"
"Uuu...I'm shaking so scared the big all mighty Doctor" she laughed like crazy "Aaaaa stop that...I'll piss all over you" she screamed wiggling
"Oh grait piss on me as well...that's gonna go down well in history" she continued tickling her
"Boooo" Yaz yelled again laughing and regretted it the same second "Aaaaa....nooo...stoooop...I surrender!.. I surrender!" she started slumping down her lap to the floor
Clara laughed like crazy "Stars Yaz..." she grabbed her forearm to stop her from falling
Yaz got up laughing "Pleeease nooo more"
"I'm not touching you" Clara pissed herself laughing "See...hands" she starts getting up slowly grinning
"Don't you dare!!!! I can't run!" she pointed a finger at her going backwards "Doctooor nooo!!" she yelled and Clara stopped dead in her tracks, she blinked shocked but Yaz continued laughing grabbing her wrists to stop her from tickling her father
"Alright, alright I'll stop..." she said and hugged her tightly looking up at the ceiling containing her tears pressing her against herself
"Promise"
"Promise ..stopping..." she said feeling her hearts jumping inside her chest "I'll just be Boo if you want" she laughed as a small tear run down her face "Sounds like Casper"
Yaz laughed into her shoulder
Later that evening, Yaz fell asleep on the sofa while Clara prepared dinner. She came in and crouched next to her, moving her hair out of her face. Yaz was hot to the touch like she was burning with a fever and that worried her. Knowing now what was going on in her body, it was not a good sign. She was worried that her regeneration energy would be out of balance and she would have no way to help her. There was nothing visible from the outside, no typical orange haze, nothing to ever indicate what was going on inside. But Clara knew it was there, lurking hidden behind her biology, half-sleepingly swirling inside her and slowly reshaping, reformatting every cell in her body into something, something that was still a mystery to Clara. She knew the best thing to do would be to take her to Gallifrey, something that was out of the question at the moment and was her last resort.
"Yaz baby, wake up darling" she brushed her knuckles over her cheek
"Mmmmwha?" she mumbled
"Wake up darling" she ran her thumb between her eyebrows gently stroking her forehead "Dinner's done...you need to eat"
"Alright...my head really hurts" she rolled on her back "Can you dim the lights please?"
"Sure" Clara pursed her lips and got up switching off the main light and leaving only the small table lamp on in a corner of the room by the window. She drew the curtains closed and came back to her side
"I think I'm coming down with something" she said as she sat up "I'm so cold"
"You feel hot Yaz...I think you have a fever darling. I think you caught a cold from being in that lake for so long" she said wrapping a blanket over her "I'll bring your pajamas from upstairs and you have some some food. I have a nice pumpkin soup you like" she said crouching infront of her wrapping fingers around her face
"Yeah that sounds nice" she smiled
"Then I'm gonna pop to the Tardis get something for your fever"
"No more jabs pleaseeee"
"No jabs...just a big tablet and it tastes like sweets you're gonna love it.
"I hope so"
"You will...I have them sometimes when I fancy something sweet"
"You have tablet?"
"Can't harm me" she shrugged her shoulders
Yaz rolled her eyes laughing "I used to do that with cough syrup when I was a kid"
"Aaaa the pink one is nice"
"OMG yes..." she giggled "God my head...it feels like it will explode"
…
Early Monday morning they set out to meet Kate. As they sat in the car, they both felt excited and nervous at the same time. Everything was happening so fast for the two of them now and the day was coming faster and faster. On Friday they are going to Oxford for almost two weeks, and when they come back they will be back as a married couple. Clara was seriously considering taking the Tardis rather than the car, and then just taking the rental car as soon as they arrived. Yaz's health scared her and she felt much more comfortable having her Tardis with her. The words echoed in her head again, "You're nothing without your Tardis Doctor" it was a cruel joke and filled with so much truth in it, something she found hard to accept, but it was a fact. At least that way she knew that whatever happened she could get from point A to point B in less than a minute. She also had everything she needed and more in her beloved little blue box. There was a part of her that was also happy to have her there on the most special day of her life. Somehow it didn't seem right to leave her alone in the back garden, that thought didn't seem right in her hearts. It would mean Yaz would be flying for the first time since the night it all happened and that in itself felt so good in her hearts in so many ways. A feeling of some new beginning for both of them. She knew that Yaz was secretly hoping for it, her excitement was growing day by day and she could see her eyes widen every time she walked inside..
"Exited?" Clara turned around smiling as they were driving
"My heart is racing so much"
"Well you still have time to change your mind" she said smirking looking at the road
"Oi, you!" she smacked her knee
Clara giggled "Just saying Yaz" she turned around grinning
"So do you by the way..." Yaz pulled a smug face
"Neah ...Made up my mind the day I met you" she said turning the car around the corner
"Charmer"
They got out of the car and Clara reached out for her hand "Why did you ever leave that crutch at home Yaz"
"Because I'm getting better and I need to start walking proper...I've had it with this"
"Just worried about you that's all. It's quite a walk from the car you know"
"I'll be fine"
They walked inside the building where Kate was already waiting for them.
"Morning Doctor" she smiled "Morning Yaz, so nice seeing you again"
"Hi, nice to see you too" Yaz said smiling
"So sorry about your leg"
"All my fault" Clara said
"You were very lucky Doctor. We're still working on it. I had a call from Jack Harkness"
"Aaaa good, he promised he's gone call. Thanks for this by the way. I really appreciate it.
"Don't mention it Doctor"
"I really had no idea getting married is so complicated on Earth. They make it very formal...not very romantic I must admit"
"I suppose paperwork never is" Kate smiled as they went up the stairs "But don't worry about it. David was a very good friend of my father's. He'll sort it all out for you in 24 hours"
"Brilliant"
….
"Well I suppose we see you in less than a 2 weeks?" Doctor said as they walked back outside after submitting all the documentation
"I'm really looking forward to it Doctor. Yaz it was really nice seeing you again"
"You too Kate. I'm glad you're gonna be there. It means so much to Clara"
They were walking towards the car in silence then Clara suddenly turned around tugging her hand "Aaaaaa Ice-cream Yaz...I really fancy some Ice-cream"
"Yeah...me too now you mentioned" she giggled
"I still have time till my lecture. Come on"
"What was Kate saying darling? Was that regarding this case you're working on and people who broke into our house? "
"Yes...Jack said he's going to take over until the wedding is out of the way. And he's gonna work with Kate because I don't feel comfortable leaving him to do this by himself. This is big organization Yaz. He needs more people behind him"
"How did you even find out about them?" she asked as they sat down on a terrace of a cake shop. It was a nice sunny day and the place looked lovely
"It was a long time ago Yaz, 57 years ago"
"Whaaaaa?"
Clara laughed "I know...right...Anyway...There was a person who ran away from their research facility. He was a genetic engineer whose family was taken hostage. They forced him to do genetic experiments on live subjects. First animals then people...and not only humas Yaz. They kidnapped people, different races from many places"
"OMG...what were the tests...what were they doing?"
"At the time Yaz I didn't know. They killed him before he had a chance to tell me. But what he did tell me is where he worked. So we went into the facility..."
"And? What? They escaped?"
"No...they haven't. The place where they worked from was a massive spaceship. We got into trouble Yaz...big trouble...people died...and...well...other stuff happened" she looked into the menu "Uuuu...I might actually have a cake...cakes are nice"
She was deflecting and Yaz knew she was, she was debating whether to continue asking or just drop the subject. But for some reason Clara seemed more keen talking today so she thought she takes her chance. "Is that when your wife was hurt?"
"Mmmmm...yes" Clara answered without looking up. Her eyes still on the menu. She took a big sigh and looked up at her finally "Anyway...when we came next time the lab was burnt down and all the live subjects...people and creatures killed and they were gone"
"Fuck...I'm so sorry"
"I've spent years following bread crumbs...anything I could find all over the universe, different planets, different places, different cases. People kept being taken, always the same story...but I never found what I was looking for Yaz"
"So what changed? Why now?"
"Jack found out stuff...case he was working on. Same thing...but he had more information. So I decided to follow it up. So cake?" She smiled
"Yeah...they look really nice. I can't wait to see our cake...give me a hint?...Come oooon...one little hint.."
Clara smiled "Blue"
"Blue? OMG...Tardis blue? It is isn't it?"
"Yeap" she laughed "But also something else...it's both you and me Yaz...you'll see" she smiled
"Aaaaaaaa...I just wanna jump to that day now"
Clara fell silent. She flipped through the cake shop menu like it was a book she was reading, and now Yaz was starting to feel guilty for bringing up the subject, feeling like she'd completely ruined her day. So she reached for her hand across the table "Baaabe...I'm so sorry for asking this...thank you for telling me"
"No, Yaz it's alright" she lifted her gaze "honest...I was just thinking"
"About what baby?"
"Antonio Latini"
"Who?" she frowned confused
"Antonio Latini...a man working for a Spanish Viceroy in Naples. He lived from 1642 to 1692 and he is credited with being the first person to write down a recipe for sorbetto. He is also responsible for creating a milk-based sorbet, which most culinary historians consider the first official ice cream"
"Fuck me babe"
"Yaz!!!!...language" she turned around embarrassed "You really are a potty mouth"
"I thought you're depressed over what we were talking about"
"Oh, that...no Yaz...I was going to tell you more. I rather tell you than you keep snooping around my desk"
"Whaaaa?"
"Oh, I know you have...3000 years old baby...can't full me" she winked
"OMG...no way"
"Way Yaz...my file was was moved for exactly five and a half centimeters to the left...so you did look missy" she pointed finger at her
"I'm sorry...I shouldn't have done that"
"No, you really shouldn't...just don't want you doing something silly Yaz. So pleeease in a future ask me...Now...can we please order this cake before I starve to death and can you please, pleeeease not swear like that in public...it's really horid Yaz, not to mention highly embarrassing"
"Alright Bighead...I'm so sorry...and that goes for both" she laughed
…
Another week flew by without them even noticing. It was already Friday and they were packed and ready to go to Oxford. Clara carried all the bags down the stairs while Yaz frantically went through the list, making sure they didn't forget anything. Their clothes would be brought by her mother, but they would be in Oxford for over a week, and Yaz had packed anything and everything she could think of that they might need.
"You know Yaz I should've just put the whole house in a Tardis...how many bags do we have?"
"Six...and two small ones"
"Stars Yaz we are not relocating to Oxford"
"No...but we are staying for over a week and we are getting married and the weather is still neither here or there so I'm just making sure we have everything we need"
"I assure you we have more than you think we have"
"What does that suppose to mean?"
"Neverminded" she took last two bags and dragged them down the stairs
Yaza's way of packing always made Clara laugh because she would put a note in the front pocket with a list of everything in that bag so they always knew which bag contained which things at all times. Clara's method of packing was to simply shove everything in hoping she could close it and if that didn't work she would sit on it and use her sonic to lock it.
"Right missy all packed...all ready to go, get your cute but downstairs so I can secure the house"
"Alright...coming...did you turn off the water?"
"Yes"
"Gas?"
"Yeees...Yaz come on...stop doodling"
"Alright...going!!"
Clara made sure all the windows were locked, then she opened the drawer of the side table and took something out of it, putting it in her pocket. Before leaving, she took one more look at their bedroom and smiled a little. She will return there with her wife. Yaz had been her wife for many years, but this time she would bear her name and even though this custom was not part of her culture, this time it meant a lot to her that they did everything right. She went downstairs to find Yaz standing in the hallway.
"Come on...let's go" she said heading towards the kitchen
"Go where? Car's this way babe" she pointed towards the door
"Oh, we're not taking the car Yaz" she grinned "We're taking the Tardis"
"Whaaaaaa?..." Yaz yelled excited "Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Nope...not at all" she reached for her hand
"And you're gonna drive it?" Yaz though this was the most idiotic question in a world but she was so exited it just came out all wrong. Also do you drive a time ship or you fly it, she thought to herself and then dropped it because it really didn't matter at this point because her heart was rasing so much she couldn't breathe
"You bet I will..."
"Oh, the bags" she tugged on her hand"
"They're already in a Tardis Yaz"
"OMFG we're going with Tardis...I'm shaking" she said as Clara led her through the kitchen
"I know I'm holding your hand Yaz" she laughed as they walked out into the garden and pointed sonic at the house securing it until they come back
Tardis door was already open and she stepped inside with Yaz following. Her eyes widen and she couldn't stop smiling. Her heart was beating so fast like the first time they kissed. Tardis hummed and all the lights came up.
"Hey girl...I know right exiting" Yaz said smiling
Clara was already at the console and flipped the switches. She looked up smiling as her hearts skipped a beat seeing Yaz on the other side of the console just before they left. She missed all the beautiful parts anyway. And being back at the console made her hearts beat that much faster. She continued walking around the console setting everything up. Yaz watched her in amazement. There she was, her Clara behind the console of her ship ready to fly her away. It was unreal in so many ways and she didn't know what to expect.Clara brushed her fingers over the lever and took a deep breath.
"Ready?" she smiled
"Yeah" Yaz couldn't stop smiling
"C'mere " she nodded her head and as Yaz walked over she pulled her in front of her "Go on...put your hand on it...we're doing this together"
"Are you for real?"
"I was last time I checked" she smiled
Yaz put her hand on the lever and Clara put hers over. She slipped her other hand around her waist holding her tight so she doesn't fall "Let's go" she winked and pulled it down
As Tardis took off Yaz grabbed herself for the console. She didn't expect such a bumpy ride. But before she had time to even get her baring's Tardis screeched to a stop.
"What just happened?" she said confused
"We arrived Yaz" Clara laughed
"You're joking?"
"No...not at all" she grabbed her hand "Come on" she grinned heading towards the door
Yaz still couldn't walk fast and getting to the door was so painfully slow as she just wanted to run "Look Yaz...Oxford" she opened the door
"I can't believe this...this took literally less than a minute"
"I know right....come on...let's get all the bags out...the Hotel is right there" she points across the road
"What about Tardis?...You're just gonna leave her here like this in front of the museum?"
"Now you know why she looks like a telephone box Yaz" she said grabbing most of the bags in her hands "Clever, right?"
Yaz rolled her eyes smiling "Hey...wait...we don't need all of those now...some are just for the wedding"
"Oh!" Clara said dumping all the bags back on the floor
"Your lectures are until Friday...then we move to the other hotel...so just take those three for now"
"Right...well that makes it easier....coming to think about it we didn't need the hotel Yaz...we could've just stayed in a Tardis"
"Now you say that!" Yaz said as they walked outside
"We can you know..." she said casually hoping she'll agree
"Than why are we going to a hotel?" Yaz stopped in the middle of the road
"I don't know Yaz" she stopped and turned around.
"Seriously?" Yaz shrugged her shoulders pointing towards the Tardis
"Brilliant!" Clara said with a massive grin passing next to her in a hurry back towards the Tardis booting the door open "I mean since we came with her..."
Yaz laughed all the way inside "You silly sod"
Clara walked past their old room and opened the door to another. It was a large room with a firm dark wooden bed and two side tables. Built-in wardrobe and chest of drawers next to it. There was a dark blue armchair in the corner of the room, and a small round table next to it. The Tardis patterns on the walls reached all the way to the ceiling. This was Yaz's old room before she moved into hers. She placed the bags on the navy blue sheets...the ones she had slept on so many nights before. She smiled a little and left the room.
"Babeeeee" Yaz yelled from the kitchen
"Coming" she said and rushed down the hallway "Yes lovely?" she peaked from the door
"We will have to go shopping you know" Yaz said holding a container of her root killer she took out of the fridge
Clara walked over and took it out of her hand dumping it on a kitchen top and wrapped her arms around her pulling her in "Are you sure you're alright with this Yaz? We can go to a hotel it's literally across the road"
"I am...honest" she said running hands down her dark chocolate braces and her white shirt "I wanna be here...besides you know I get anxious in hotels. This feels more like a home"
"Alright butterfly...just take it easy your leg still hurts. I need to switch on the heating...it's quite cold in here. In fact this weekend I should check all the other stuff. I also need to pick up the car from rentals"
"Waaaw we have a spaceship and a car...luxury" she smiled playing with a collar of her shirt
"Neah..." she scrunched her face "It's only a car Yaz...we need one...Tardis was sitting a long time I don't feel like hopping around short distances until I make sure everything works properly. Don't wanna miss the wedding"
"Miss the wedding?"
"Arrrr you know, sometimes Tardis can miss things here and there...few years, months...not often but I don't want to risk it"
"Right..." she had no idea what she was going on about but at this point she didn't really care. All she cared about was how Clara smelled divine and how her lips were and inch away from hers
"We can go shopping for food once we unpack...I do fancy...." Yaz cut her off within a kiss pulling her by the braces "sandwich" she said as they parted
"Can I ask you a really stupid question"
"No question is stupid Yaz"
"Does Tardis listen to everything...you know...stuff that goes on"
Clara laughed slumping her head on her shoulder "Right...well...sort of...but she knows when to be polite...does that answers your question?"
"Yeah...it does" she was relieved in so many ways
"Come on...let's get the car and get some food..."
….
"Nope, nope...we have a whole suitcase of those" she took custard creme box out of her hand and put it back on a shelf "We need potatoes and actual food"
"That is food"
"For you maybe...I need potatoes" she rolled her eyes laughing
"Alright...anything else whiles I'm there?"
"Aaaarrr yeah...salad, some tomatoes, oh get apples as well....in fact here" she tares a paper with a shopping list in half "...get all this"
"Alright...oh don't forget Froot loops Yaz"
"I won't" she rolled her eyes laughing. Before she moved in, Clara mostly ate in restaurants or wherever she could get her hands on. Her kitchen was half empty, with mostly just sweets packed away in the cupboards, and the fridge was no different. For someone with the intelligence of 10 people combined, she was absolutely useless when it came to simple things like buying food so Yaz always made a list, but somehow other things would always end up on that list, mostly random candy that would saw her in the store and was simply attracted by the cute packaging like a child. Some of it tasted absolutely disgusting, but Clara still liked it. Yaz got used to some of her very strange eating habits, like putting sugar on her pizza or curry on her lasagna, and over time she just started to ignore it. It was all part of Clare. She released that she wasn't coming back for a while, so she took the trolley to the candy department, knowing for sure that she would be found there. And she did, standing in front of the peanut butter shelf loading the biggest package she could find into the trolley that was already completely packed out with sweets.
"Hey hamster...what have you been packing up?" she laughed looking at the trolley
"Hey" she smiled dumping the massive pot into the trolley
"OMG...how much stuff did you get?"
"You know I'll eat all of it in few days" she laughed "I got some popcorn for a movie night"
"Yeah and then I end up eating it with you and getting fat" she laughed "Let's get our of here"
Clara parked the car right in front of Tardis and went out opening the booth taking all the shopping out. The sight was so unreal that Yaz started to laugh uncontrollably.
"What?" Clara stood confused holding loads of shopping bags
"We are taking shopping inside the police telephone box" she laughed like crazy holding on to the car "I mean...look...it's a telephone box Clara" she laughed so much she couldn't breathe. The thought of random people on a street seeing them walking into a police telephone box with loads of Sainsbury bags was so out there she just couldn't stop laughing
"Stars Yaz" Clara started laughing "I didn't think of it that way..."
"I mean...don't you ever think what people think when you get in and out?"
"No, not really" she said walking inside
"Do you just park anywhere?"
"Pretty much yes" she said walking towards the kitchen
"I mean...you travelled through time right? A telephone box is hardly inconspicuous if you're say in ancient Rome....What the hell do people think it is?"
"Dunno Yaz...usually I'm too busy to think about that" she said dumping shopping on the kitchen top
….
Their room was comfortable and Yaz loved the hum of the Tardis coming from inside. She hadn't expected it to be heard so far away from the control room. But she found it calming. She had just finished unpacking and lay down on the bed running her hand over the dark blue covers looking up at the high ceiling and all the hexagonal patterns on the walls. She felt the vibrations even as she lay on the bed and they went right through her. She also now discovered how Clara's home décor mimicked the Tardis in so many ways with the same colors and dark brown furniture. She was curious about what Gallifrey looked like and if this style was something that reminded her of her home or if it was just something that won her hearts on Earth. In many ways the Tardis was grand and full of luxury, but in other ways it was so simple. Just a big house filled with thousands of years of memories. The gentle hum of the Tardis lulled her to sleep and Clara found her curled up on the bed without the covers. It was still cold inside the ship as the systems were still heating it. She lifted the blanket from the armchair and covered her. It felt so special to be able to see her here again, so special after all these years that Clara could just sit on the edge of the bed and watch her sleep. At last she felt laughter and happiness return within these walls as the decades passed in loneliness and sorrow, and the old ship knew only of silence and pain. There was nothing but the echo of some good times lost to her. Memories of special moments spent together and the life they built together. She felt blessed to have that chance again, because Yaz had fallen in love with her all over again, and she was determined not to waste a single minute of their time together as much as possible. She stroked her head and placed a long kiss on her forehead, then left the room, closing the door quietly.
There was a lot to do now that the ship was in operation and they would be living inside for a week. So she changed into her blue trousers and rainbow t-shirt, buttoned up her apron and put her goggles on top of her head. Yaz woke up after nearly two hours of sleep to hear loud music echoing through the Tardis
Clara was bobbing her head and wiggled her bum in the cutest way pulling some wires out of one of the walls. There were large cables on the floor and some black liquid leaking into a plastic bucket from one of the hoses.
"Hey sexy" she laughed coming down the stairs
"Hey sleepy...rested?"
"Yap...slept like baby...why didn't you wake me up? I could help you" she came up pulling her for the apron
"Oi, I'll make you dirty"
"It's fine...engine oil is sexy" she pulled her by the apron into a kiss
"Blimey If you say so" she laughed
"Soo...can I help?" Yaz asked taking some part of Tardis that was on a floor into her hand looking at it
Clara looked at her taken back a little then grinned haply "Yeah...sure you can...In fact I need to sort out the swimming pull and I can use an extra pair of hands"
"You weren't joking about swimming pool"
"No Yaz I really wasn't " she said throwing her tools into a bag "Come on" she nodded
"Then why would you...you have a whole forest in here...with a lake...swimming pool is like a toaster compared to that" she said walking behind her
"Talking about toaster I need to buy a new one"
"I thought you said Tardis can make stuff?"
"She can Yaz...it's just more fun buying it. In fact I do make most of my kitchen appliances I just don't have time now"
"I know my adorable genius" she laughing and slapped her bum
….
"Yaaaz I need you to release the pressure. It's a big red valve inside the little door in a wall on your right" she said holding the massive hose in her hand attaching it to a shaft in a wall "Turn it clockwise until I tell you to stop" she said locking the hose into the wall with her sonic "Alright that's it...all done...you just need to..." she turned around and smiled "kick that door shut" she said looking at her haply
"Done...Now what?"
She smiled as it was Yaz's automatic reaction to shut the tricky little door who's hinge was broken forever "Now we wait few minutes until the water changes" she said sitting on the steps
"It's a lot of work maintaining this place" she sat on a step below leaning on her chest
"It is but I like it...keeps me busy most times...it gets a bit lonely...but now I have you" she smiled kissing the top of her head " I need some food I'm starving"
"Me too...Making your favorite"
"Lasagna?"
"Yap..."
"Brilliant ...I do fancy some lasagna"
…..
Yaz was in a kitchen finishing a salad whiles Clara was still running around Tardis. She had no idea where she was or what she was doing but she was gone for nearly two hours. A phone rang and Yaz quickly reached over to the bar.
"Hey mum"
"Hi honey, have you arrived?"
"Oh, yeah...ages ago"
"Oh...that fast?"
"Aaarrh...yeeeeah...we left early...just give me a second...making a salad"
"Whaaa?...Salad? Aren't you in a hotel?"
"Oh...about that...no were not...Clara rented a cottage for a week...surprise"
"Oh did she...how nice...I suppose it's more intimate"
"Yeah...that's right...much better than a hotel"
"Just calling you to tell you I've picked up all your clothes. They look so beautiful honey...I can't stop looking at them...I've hang them on my wardrobe" she laughs
"Aaaaaaaa....so exited...I can't wait to put it on...I'm legit combusting"
"Hey Yaz?..." Clara walked into the kitchen
"Hey baby...I'm speaking to mum...just told her what a nice cottage you rented" she was saying making faces
Clara frowned confused then clocked on to what she was saying "Oh...yes very nice...hey Nadjia" she yelled into Yaz's phone
"Wait mum...I'll put you on a loud speaker"
"Hi Clara...I just told Yaz...your garments are stunning I just picked them up today"
"Thank you so much for doing that Najia I appreciate it"
"Oh, don't worry hun...You have picked up your rings?"
"Yes...we got them on Monday" Clara said
"They are beautiful...also mum I was gonna ask you...about my hair. I know it's a last minute but I couldn't go around shopping...can you please pleaseeeee look for some nice braided extension for me"
"You have beautiful hair Yaz...why do you need extension?"
"I wanna have a beautiful long braid like nanny's"
"Alright hun...I'll have a look"
"Thanks mum"
"I need to run now baby...you two have a nice time and Clara please make sure she rests"
"I am but she's stubborn" she laughs "It's a challenge I must admit"
"She was born stubborn...you'll see one day when you have your own kid"
"Muuuum"
"Just saying Yaz"
"Bye muuuum" she rolled her eyes and hang up the phone "Sorry"
"Mmmm...what for Yaz" she kissed the side of her head and took the salad "Is the food done?"
"I think so...where have you been all this time?"
"Just doing some small repairs"
"Come on...let's eat"
….
The evening came and they curled up on the sofa like at home and watched a movie. It was still a little cold in the Tardis, but that was just an excuse to snuggle closer. Clara slowly ran her fingers through Yaz's hair making her sleepy. Even Clara was getting tired as she spent most of the day hovering around the Tardis sorting things out. Most of Tadis had been pretty much neglected for the past 57 years as all her enthusiasm for it had died down and she spent all her time obsessing over finding the people responsible for hurting Yaz. She stopped caring about everything except the animals she had on board. Everything else gathered dust, forgotten, frozen in time like something from "Great Expectations".
Yaz was looking forward to her first night on the Tardis like a kid. It was exiting for her and she knew she won't get this chance again very soon, if ever again. So she was determined to make the best out of it. The gentle humming of the Tardis made it special and now with their stuff unpacked their room felt more as a home and less as a hotel. Tardis was in many ways blowing her mind and there was no mistake that it came from some other world but also it absolutely fascinated her how Earth looking it really was in many ways with rooms and bathrooms practically the same as in any household, kitchen that was more ordinary than the one they had in their house. She loved the simplicity and the warmth of it.
She snuggled into bed going through her messages waiting for Clara who was finishing in the bathroom. She was very quite which was unusual for her and Yaz wasn't sure was it anything to do with the Tardis or she was just simply exhausted from a long day. Clara clapped her hands and lights dimmed then draped herself over Yaz taking her phone out of her hand kissing her cheek
"Oi..I was in the middle of something"
"I'm more important" she grinned
"Oh are you now?" she laughed and wrapped her arms around her shoulders
"You're not in pain?"
"Nope...it's going...only when I walk for a long time and I still can't bend my knee properly...You're getting cold and your bum is naked you will freeze" she said running hands over her bare shoulders and down her back "Come" she said lifting the duvet and Clara snuggled herself in
"You're healing nicely...just please don't go mad tomorrow when I'm on a lecture" Clara spoke into her neck rubbing her face on her
"I won't...are you alright baby? You're very quite"
"Just tiered butterfly...I'm very happy your here"
"I'm happy I'm here...this is so exiting...never been on a spaceship...I must say this is your best date ever" she said gently stroking her back
"Why didn't I think of it before then?" she laughed but she sounded so tired and already half asleep
"Come on darling...let's sleep" Yaz said reaching out for the little side lamp "Arrh...baby...how do I switch that off?"
"Oh...sorry Yaz...just tab it at the top like this"
Yaz pulled the covers over them and entwined their legs. Clara was asleep in less than a minute with her face pressed against Yaz's neck. Her nose right under Yaz's ear and her breathing tickled her. She smiled as she moved her head slightly and was met with a murmur from Clara who squirmed and slid her hand down Yaz's side and fell back asleep. Yaz lay awake for a while looking up at the high ceiling and the dim amber lights that filtered through the hexagonal patterns on the walls. It was very quiet, except for the humming of the Tardis which sounded like the breathing of this giant inside the tiny blue box.
That night she had a silly dream about traveling with Clara to some crazy far away world and sitting on a mattress by the open door of the Tardis and looking at the stars somewhere far away in space. She dreamed of Clara teaching her how to steer her beloved ship and smiling proudly at her across the console. Then morning came and humming woke her with the chirping of birds in the room. The light was as bright as the morning sun coming through the windows, but there were no windows in their room. Yaz rolled on the warm bed smiling
"Morning beautiful...that's a nice way to wake up...I wonder what else you can do?" Tardis hummed "So it's just you and me today...I'm planning on a surprise for Clara and I'm gonna need your help...God I really hope you understand me or I sound like right idiot now" she laughed then Tardis flickered the lights and hummed again and she opened her eyes wide "OMG you really do understand everything I say...You're one amazing girl I give you that" she said with a yawn and grabbed Clara's pillow shoving her face into it then saw a small note attached to the lamp
"Morning butterfly, I hope you had some nice dreams...You know you need to remember your dreams when you sleep somewhere for the first time and make a wish...I'm rambling...Anyway...I'm off to work and I left you something in a kitchen. Please take it easy. I miss you already. Yours forever Clara...Doctor...Wife...xxx"
She shook her head laughing at the note then rolled herself out of bed.
…
She walked into the kitchen and there was a whole breakfast waiting for her with one more note attached to the tea cup "Didn't make a tea because by the time you wake up it would evaporate ...Love ya xx"
Yaz laughed because if it wasn't for the Tardis getting her up at 9am she'd be spot on.
She quickly got dressed and started cleaning, starting with the control room. Tardis played her music and made it more fun. She would ask her about things and she could swear she heard her reply. While cleaning the console, she ran her hand over all the controls. There were so many of them and now she took the time to take a better look at them. All little switches and some floating screens that showed Gallifreyan stuff. She remembered her dream and smiled as her heart skipped a beat. Then she thought how difficult it must be for Clara to give up all this, her life was so intertwined in this ship as if they were breathing as one being. Only now could she fully understand Clara's attachment to her little blue box, and her heart ached for her. She thought of how many centuries her beautiful Clara had spent at this console and the places she had been, what her eyes had seen and she gave up on all of it. She sighed deeply and ran her fingertips over the lever. "Oh honey…I'm so sorry," she whispered and then turned around taking a deep breath
"So, what ya think? Looking nice and clean!" she said happily standing back a bit
Tardis hummed and switched all the lights on the console making it look absolutely magical.
"Wooooow...look at that! I really like this" she took a bucket and all the mops "Right...let's get the kitchen sorted properly then check the rooms and...well I don't know. Just hope I don't get lost"
Clara was on her break and tried calling Yaz several times, but no one answered. She was getting more and more worried and was about to leave the university to go check on her when her phone rang
"Yaz! Is everything alright?"
"Yeah baby...so sorry I see you called..."
"Seven times Yaz!...Seven time...where are you? You nearly had me regenerate" she said stressfully shoving a straw through the plastic lid of her shake
"I'm really sorry...I left my phone in a kitchen"
"I thought you've fallen and hurt yourself or...nevermind I'm just chuffed I finally got you on a phone"
"Noo babe...I'm fine silly...I'm not dead rotting in your kitchen"
"Yaaaaz!!...That's not even funny"
She laughed "Alright I was gonna call you anyway...darling...where's the hoover?"
"The what Yaz?"
"Hoover...you know...for hoovering the floors...you do have one?"
"Nooooo Yaz...why would I have a hoover?" she frowned confused and scrunched her face
"Baaaabe" she whined at the other end
"Yaaaaz...are you cleaning?"
"Yes...of course I'm cleaning...what do you think I need a hoover for? My hair?...Well how the fuck do I clean the floors babe?"
Clara almost spilled the shake blowing bubbles through the straw as she burst out laughing
"Yaz darling..."
"Yes"
"Aaaaarhhh there's something I forgot to tell you"
"What?" Yaz said dumping a dirty cloth into the sink
"Tardis can clean itself Yaz I just need to turn on the system"
"Whaaaa?...Are you fucking kidding me?"
"Nooo Yaz...I was gonna do that today but I need to check everything....last time it malfunctioned it was not a pleasant site...took a week for all the dust to settle"
"I've just spent four hours cleaning"
Clara ran her fingers over her face "Stars Yaz...." she laughed "Well...you do clean well so I bet it's all nice and shiny"
"Well I was about to do the library" she said stressfully throwing her apron on the kitchen top "Good you told me"
"I bet your bottom lip is popping out now...You sound stressed"
"I swear I'm gonna kill you myself"
"I must say...that threat didn't sound very scary..."
"Oh sod off" she rolled her eyes and started to laugh "Thank you for the breakfast by the way...that was lovely"
"I thought that might make you happy" she smiled haply "Right...well, I need to run now...Love ya"
"Love you too you silly old goof" she hang up the phone and sighed exhausted "Well...you could've told me as well...I guess you're just enjoying in company aren't you?" she shook her head laughing "I can see why you two are the best buddies. Well...let's get this party started. I stink like shit" she lifted the top and smelled herself, then she took all the rags and shoved them into the bucket and headed towards their room
Clara was gone most of the day. She had a lecture and then a board meeting after that so Yaz knew she wouldn't be back before seven. Dinner was almost finished and she went to change. Her leg was killing her by this point and as she passed the console something clicked and drew her attention to it. She leaned over to look and saw the Tardis pop out of one of those large tables that looked like a giant candy
"Is that for me?...Have you just given me a pain killer?" she said twirling it in her hand and Tarids hummed turning the lights pink "Waaaw...that's so sweet...Thanks beautiful" she smiled and walked towards their room to get ready
Clara drove slowly back, it was a short drive and she hoped to find parking near the Tardis. She was exhausted from a long day, but it was the endless meeting that drained the last drop of energy out of her. It reminded her of Gallifrey and the endless political debates that always made her cringe. But as soon as she got into the car, she felt as if a pile of bricks fell from her back. She also got a call from Jack and it made her so much happier to know that he was okay. A worry that hadn't left her mind since she agreed to their little deal. Jack feared very little, which made him dangerous to himself and got him into trouble more times than Clara could count. She also hoped he would make it to the wedding because he was the closest thing to a family she'd ever had and she was absolutely going to miss him pestering her all day.
She parked and walked inside looking around as it was very quite and lights were dimmed. It was unusual to come back home to the Tardis. She hasn't called it her home in months. She smiled as she passed the console that was shining like never before. Even the lever was all polished clean.
"Hey baby" Yaz called from the top of the steps smiling
"Wooooow....Yaz is that you?" she smiled surprised as she came out dressed in creamy white dress to her knees. She put her hair in a long braid draping over her shoulder.
"Unless you have more women in your life, it's definitely still me" she laughed "trainers" she lifted her leg of the floor "classy" she giggled
"You look stunning...just stunning" she said going up the stairs slowly "Soooo...is this a date night I didn't know about?" she smiled as she climbed the steps
"Yeah well...I think I owe you more than a date" she said as Clara took another step up and wrapped her arms around her laying her head on her chest with a heavy sigh
"Goodness what's that sigh for baby?" Yaz asked stroking her hair
"Just so nice to be home finally...and you don't owe me anything except a cuddle" she looked up smiling "I neeeeed a cuddle"
"And kiss?" Yaz smiled tucking her hair behind her ears
"Mmmm...I could do with that as well"
Yaz kissed her gently showering her her with small short kisses then smiled into her lips "And some food?"
"You're speaking my language Yaz" she smiled and tangled their fingers together ever so gently
"Come on" Yaz nodded towards the kitchen and pulling her up the steps. Clara draped herself over her back as they stepped into the hallway wrapping her arms around her
"You look amazing Yaz"...she smiled kissing her cheek, her hands ghosting over Yaz's waist before she grabbed her hand again "Tardis is shining, I can see my face on a console...I never saw my face in a console...So did you two have a nice time together?"
"We have actually...now I will miss her when we get home" she smiled as they passed the kitchen"
"I'm confused...where are we going?"
"Oh...you'll see...surprise" Yaz smiled and kissed her cheek. She led her twards the forest and opened the door for her.
"Wooooow!" Clara smiled widely "Yaaaz...this is amazing!"
As soon as they came out, Clara smiled cheerfully. The Tardis built a gazebo and dimmed the lights to match the June evening outside the Tardis. Little fairy lights illuminated all the decorative cast iron arches, and in the middle was a small table for two with soft candlelight which made it even more romantic.
"I really like this...very romantic Yaz" she looked at Yaz smiling "Thank you...I needed this" she said bringing her knuckles to her lips kissing them gently "I see you two become buddies" she smiled and gave her one more short kiss
"Come on...food is getting cold" Yaz pulled her hand and pulled the chair for her "Madam"
"You're making me blush" she sat down and pulled her hand "And I love the service...I need to make sure I leave a review"
"Do you usually kiss the waitresses?" Yaz laughed into her lips
"I swear these lips only kiss you" she smiled
"They better be, or I'm canceling that wedding" she giggled
Clara's fingers brushed hers when Yaz pulled back, not wanting to let her go. Just the touch after a long day made her happy, but it wasn't what she expected. She actually half expected Yaz to be sleeping on the couch in the library since she'd spent the day cleaning the Tardis, which made Clara laugh anyway "Your menu ma'am" she handed her a piece of paper which made her laugh like crazy. Yaz wrote in broken French everything she cooked, from chicken to potatoes and salad. There was some kind of dessert that Clara scrunched her face trying to read out loud.
"Blimey...I have to take you to Paris Yaz" she laughed "Although I think you might stay hungry if I leave you on your own...is that strawberry?"
Yaz laughed "Yeeeees...google translate" she giggled and sat down
"Ok...I'll have that...as long as there's no pears" she laughed
"Nope...Why do you hate pears so much?" she giggled pouring her some juice then opened the lid of the glass dish with food
"Eeeeewwww..." she started making grossed out faces "Neah...pears are horrible"
"And dipping fish fingers into custard is delightful?" Yaz laughed
"You really should try Yaz...it really is"
"Neah thanks...I'll stick to mayo. So what's with today baby? You were so stressed when you came back"
"Meeting Yaz...I hate them with a passion...Mmmmmm" she mumbled as she took a first bite of chicken in breadcrumbs and then took some mash potatoes quickly "Stars Yaz this is soo nice...Will you marry me?" she laughed
"Sure babe...when?"
"We can do it quickly next Saturday then elope"
"Neah...that's a long time to wait...can't we do it now?"
"We could on Gallifrey...here everything takes so long" she laughed "I tell you we nearly missed it Yaz...I completely forgot those papers"
"You're stressed, that's all. Oh my made of honor is coming on Friday so you will finally get to meet her"
"I'm so exited to meet her...Well, my fam is coming on Friday as well. We could all go out for a meal"
"That would be nice"
Clara never met any of Yaz's friends because she didn't have any really. Few girls from work that get to invite her for birthday parties but no more than that. And those friends she did have before, have all moved away so she was exited more than Clara.
"Slow down darling...you're meant to enjoy in this not just shove it down your throat" Yaz laughed
"I'm starving and I missed your cooking as well Yaz. I manage but it's not the same really"
"You were getting better with time" she laughed
Yaz reached across the table for her hand and hooked her finger at hers "Thank you for everything...I know that wasn't easy for you, handling your job and house all the shopping, cooking and taking care of me like a baby"
"Don't be silly Yaz..." she said not taking her eyes of the food "You know I would..."
"Ssssshhh...wait...I know you don't want me to thank you, but I am. With a wedding as well that was just madness and I'm not even going to mention that case you're working on. But you haven't complained once, or raised your voice at me or being techy with me...And I love you so so much for it...So it's time for me to spoil you rotten and that's exactly what I plan to do" she smiled brushing her thumb over Clara's hand
"Waaaaw Yaz...you're making me soppy now" she smiled as her eyes filled with tears "I just did what had to be done...it's what you do...you love me I love you...so we do stuff " She left the fork on a side and pushed her chair back pulling Yaz by her hand "C'mere"
Yaz got up and made herself comfortable in her lap
"I just feel bad for you" she said wrapping her arms around her shoulders "You're so tiered and exhausted Clara, physically and mentally. And mentally since I've known you...and that's going on for a long time....way before you even met me...I just don't want you burning out"
"I'm not gonna burn out Yaz. I had worse...believe me I have, but hopefully those days are behind me. And I'm so sorry iff I made you feel that way...I'm sorry for scaring you butterfly"
"You promise to tell me...promise to tell me everything, at least how you feel? I wanna know, I don't want you hiding it from me pretending you're fine until you're braking at every seam?"
Clara's eyes roamed around her face for a moment in silence. She hasn't answered straight away just looked at her for a short moment like debating this request with herself and deciding if she can honor it. She pursed her lips and her chest raised in a deep sigh before she finally gave her an answer.
"I promise...I have been crying enough for three regenerations anyway" she turned it quickly into a joke but Yaz wasn't laughing she just brought her hand to her cheek and stroke her face gently with her knuckles.
"I can't lose you. I can't breathe without you so at least I need to know when you need me to be there to stop you from falling"
"You're never gonna lose me cause that bit's not even an option" she said rocking her and brushed her nose against her cheek "And I can't fall when I'm with you Yasmin even iff I tried"
"Good...cause that's not an option" she smiled
Clara's hand traveled to the back of her neck capturing her lips in a deep, passionate kiss leaving her breathless then she parted just slightly and smiled
"...Now where's that strawberry cake, cause I really fancy some?"
"You'll get it if you stop kissing me like that or we might skip the dessert" she smiled playing with the hair at the back of her neck then slowly slipped out of her lap
It was late and after chatting for hours they both fell silent, just Clara gently brushing her thumb over the side of Yaz's hand
"Take me to bed" Clara said quietly
Yaz smiled and stood up walking around the table still holding her hand. She stood between her parted legs and smiled as Clara pressed her lips to her stomach and wrapped her arms around it, then rested her forehead against it. Yaz's fingers running through her hair were soothing. She was tired and exhausted, but she needed this evening more than anything in the past few weeks. She was finally starting to feel a little calmer and just a little more normal. Everything was still there, all the worries she had, but just knowing now even vaguely what was happening to Yaz made her feel that much more hopeful. This part she knew she could handle. It was losing her that she couldn't.
Yaz was taking off her earrings and putting them in a small jewelry box her nanny had given her for one of her birthdays. She slowly loosened her braid, letting her long hair fall over her shoulders. It was a long day for both of them. Her leg was absolutely killing her by this point and she knew deep down that she only had herself to blame this time for pushing herself beyond her limits in a desperate need to feel normal and healthy. She felt a strange burning sensation in it that she had never felt before and debated if she should say anything to Clara since she was so tired, Yaz saw that her eyes couldn't focus anymore during dinner, so she gave up on it for now and decided to tell her the following day. Sunday will be more normal for both of them because Clara only had a two hour lecture at the university for some American students and she was going to join her for it. She was looking forward to it as she hasn't been on it for quite some time and Clara's lectures were always fun for her to listen to. Her debating with the students and rambling one information after the other pouring out of her beautiful mind. Yaz unzipped her dress and pulled it over her sides then draped it over the blue armchair in a corner of their room. She also folded Clara's clothes and threw her shirt into the hole in the wall, which Clara showed her was for dirty laundry. She wasn't going to shower again, but she thought the warm water might soothe her sore leg, so she took off the rest of her clothes and stepped into the bathroom.
"Hiya" Clara peaked through the shower door "I knew you're gonna change your mind" she smiled and opened the door
"It was too tempting," she said stepping into the steamy cubicle pressing herself against Clara's chest kissing her collarbones. Her arm wrapped around her as she closed the door with the other and then her attention was fully on Yaz with her arms wrapped around her, she moved them both under the water that was running down Yaz's back as she buried her head into her chest. Clara's memories flashed before her eyes as they both stood in the same looking bathroom as the one just a few doors down in their old room from 57 years ago. 57 years she hadn't set foot in that bathroom down the hall and now she had Yaz in her arms again, cuddling her, running her gentle beautiful hands all over her in much the same way, cradling her sleepy head into her chest as she did so many years ago. Clara ran a hand down the nape of her neck over her heavy water-soaked hair. She was lost in her memories for a moment until Yaz looked up blinking her long eyelashes from the water splashing her face and smiled gently at her.
"Feels nice" she said smiling and melted Clara's hearts down that drain
She kissed her forehead and the tip of her nose stroking her wet hair then reached for the bottle of body wash from the little shelf
Yaz took a small step back holding herself for Clara's hip as her leg was seriously hurting her by this point "What do bathrooms look like on Gallifrey?"
She smiled as Yaz's question snapped her out her melancholy. "Oh, well....what do bathrooms look like anywhere Yaz...all pretty much similar really. But we do like baths rather than showers. I just have no patience for a bath...takes way to long to fill it up" she grinned and squeezed a soap on top of her head
"Aaaaa...not that much silly" she giggled
Clara wrapped her in a big fluffy towel and reached over her shoulder pressing display on a wall. The whole bathroom turned into a big massive hairdryer that dried Yaz's hair in a record time making her giggle as it felt like they stepped into a massive hot fan. But the result made her laugh even more as her hair curled up instantly and it was a fuzzy mess sticking out like she stuck her finger in a socket.
"OMG" she looked at herself in a mirror "WTF" she laughed
"Looks cute Yaz" Clara said casually standing behind her and kissed her shoulder
"You think everything looks cute on me. Thank god I packed your straighteners" she said slipping underneath the covers
"Here...open" Clara stood by the bed with candy looking tablet "You're limping trying to hide it" she raised her eyebrow "Oh, aaand holding on to me in a shower I might add"
"Sorry" she pouted her lip
"Why are you hiding it Yaz? In fact you're doing incredibly well. It does take almost eight weeks to heal and you're already walking on it without a support. It's amazing" she said climbing the bed and slipped under the covers "You silly sod" she said wrapping her arms around her as Yaz draped herself over her chest
The burning sensation didn't go away, but she was still calm even though it scared her a little. It was very late and although they both desperately wanted this evening to end on a more romantic note, they were both so tired and exhausted that cuddling was about as far as they had the energy tonight. But having this evening all to themselves meant so much to both of them.
Yaz shifted more leaning her head on her hand looking at Clara lovingly with a slight smile on her face.
"What?" Clara turned towards her "What's the cute look?"
"I'm happy...really happy...And you're gonna be mine" she said exited
Clara turned towards her smiling and reached for the curly lock of her hair that was falling over her face "I already am yours Yaz...this is just a formality"
"I know… but anyway… you'll be rightfully mine… Forever and ever" she giggled, wrapping her fingers around Clara's face and brushing a small spot next to her ear with her thumb.
"Pretty, right Yaz," she smiled and leaned over to kiss her gently. "Are you sure you want me to wake you up for tomorrow's lecture?"
Absolutely," Yaz said, draping her leg over her side and snuggling into her arms again. Clara kissed her softly, her hand lazily trailing down her back with small tender kisses, but she was already half asleep, as was Yaz. So she pulled her head into her neck and hugged her with her arm
"Nightie night baby" she said into her neck"
"Yaz"
"Yes baby?"
"Thank you for tonight...I'm sorry I'm so tiered"
"Chill...you have your whole life to make it up to me" she giggled and kissed her neck making Clara laugh
"Well, when you put it that way" she laughed and kissed her on the head "Nightie night butterfly"
....
Chapter 30 is coming soon so keep an eye out on my Twitter posts. Those who are subscribed to my page will get notifications by email. I hope you enjoyed it. I also posted some great new stuff in my store so feel free to pop over and check it out
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